UKC

My daughter has been biting for about 8 months now, She bites at everyone and everything, she runs to me and bites my thighs when I'm cooking, my bum when at the shops, I can't even get a cuddle these days as all she wants to do is bite people. The other day she bit her friend on the face and left really nasty mark. My partner gave her a real nasty slap the other day across the head, not because this is good discipline, just a reaction when you are reading a book and something bites your tit for no reason.
People say this is normal, I am now doubting this and think we have a problem child. Some are saying to slap her mouth when she does this, but at 2 year old I'm not at the slapping for discipline stage yet as I feel she is still a baby, kind of doesn't know better, but maybe this could be the cause.
Do you hit your kids for stuff like this, if not how on earth do you stop this kind of behaviour. We want her to start kindergarden in 3 weeks time, they will not take her with this going on.

In reply to Dominicandave:

I used to bite as a child - until one day my dad bit me immediately after I had bitten another child. I still remember it (one of my earliest memories), and it hurt. I never bit again and grew up to have a normal loving relationship with my dad.

In reply to Trangia:

Aye, i did the same thing to my daughter when she started to bight things and like you say she did'nt do it again.

In reply to Dominicandave:

Same as the above, my daughter bit my Mrs a couple of times when was around 2 years old. The third time she did it, my Mrs bit her back, hard enough to make her cry but not hard enough to break the skin. She didn't do it again.

In reply to teflonpete: id agree with the above, my daughter did the same for a while and each time my missus bit her back and it stopped very quickly, however they were different times, some may say more sensible.
if a two year old turned up at nursery these days with bite marks from a parent who knows just where that could lead you to? be careful.

In reply to Dominicandave:

I recall a radio programme with studio 'experts' and phone in covering this a few years ago. it's not unusual. Just as the posts above suggest biting back seemed to be effective in checking it.

In reply to Dominicandave: Should really get her a muzzle when you are out in public

In reply to buzby: It is a difficult one, I have smacked the back of her legs when she does something really naughty, but she just laughs and thinks it's a game. When I shout at her she shouts back and kind of gives me wrong for giving her wrong, same with my partner.
Biting her back, I dunno. When she started pinching with her nails I had a massive fall out with my partner after she was pinching her back and once left a nail mark on her chest, I went nuts and we ended up living apart for a week, so nothing accomplished there other than disaster.
Like you say, biting is a step further into the unknown.
I've always looked at hitting kids as showing them it is ok to do so, rather than trying to find a way of showing it is not needed to get a point across. But yes, with a 2 year old the intelligent conversations are limited and so not that practical.

In reply to Dominicandave:

Our youngest had phase of this at a similar age to yours. We didn't hit or bite back. When he did it I said "Stop. Biting hurts. Don't bite anyone" and then moved him away, put him down.

It's a rare thing now. I reckon he was doing it when really excited and it was a wrong-headed sign of affection.

In reply to lowersharpnose:

I reckon he was doing it when really excited and it was a wrong-headed sign of affection.


This is what makes it tough to spoil the moment of excitement for her, I know it is some twisted sign of affection or excitement.

In reply to Dominicandave: It might be fine legally where you live but where I live biting or hitting a child is illegal and you could be charged with assault. My wife is a child protection social worker and they do get referrals from the police for that sort of thing although they would be most likely to help the parents more than anything if the violence didn't seem systematic or particularly abusive (of course legally its all abusive). Anyway, because of the law here, far far better to go to social services yourself and ask for help from an expert than get referred to them after the cops get involved.

Personally I can't imagine biting my own kids - where does that go? If you find out when they're 8 that they punched someone at school that you punch them to show them its "wrong"? I yell at them pretty sternly when they do something mean or dangerous, but haven't ever used violence and can't imagine I ever will now. But then we've been lucky that our two are pretty well behaved.

Tough situation, but there are professionals who have seen these situations a lot and can give advice.

In reply to Dominicandave:

It is difficult, and there isn't a troubleshooting section in the manual! I see it as kids need to learn that there are consequences for their actions and to understand how what they are doing affects others. Your daughter quite possibly doesn't understand that what she is doing hurts people.
My daughter went through a phase of getting punched by one particular boy at school when she was in reception. She used to report it to the teacher and after it had happened a few times we had words with the teacher but it kept happening and she was coming home regularly with bruises. In the end I taught her how to punch and told her that for one particular occasion she was allowed to ignore the 'tell the teacher' rule and deliver a proper haymaker to the lad's nose the next time he hit her. One crying lad with a nose bleed later the hitting stopped. He understood that getting punched hurt and that if he punched her, he'd get the same back.

In reply to Dominicandave:

BTW, don't give up hope on that, if nothing else you can bore them into submission. My younger son is the more wilful of our two, and when I tell him off seriously he starts looking for other things to concentrate on - I guess its a shame reaction. So I tell him he has to look at my eyes when I'm talking to him, as soon as he starts to look away, I tell him to look me again ad infinitum. It eventually seems to get through that way!

In reply to Dominicandave:

This is what makes it tough to spoil the moment of excitement for her

You must. She'll stop soon enough. Just consistently tell her it is wrong and separate her from the target of her enthusiasm for a minute.

In reply to TobyA:

I'm trying this at the moment with a somewhat wilful six year old... I fear I'm at the start of a very long journey.

In reply to Tall Clare:

I'm still trying it with a 10-month old kitten!

In reply to Dominicandave: If she thinks its a game when she gets told off, then I'm in the boring her into submission camp. She is getting a "reward" for her actions of attention and an emotional reaction. If you get into an argument with her that is attention.

So if she goes to bite, remove her calmly, tell her very quietly that biting is naughty, it hurts and makes you sad, and that you won't play with her if she bites. Then ignore her. A 2 year old is capable of understanding that, but you must follow your words with actions, play with her when she is being good and ignore her if she bites. If she is doing it a lot maybe try tiring her out a bit, take her for lots of long walks or something? If you think its misplaced affection then make sure she gets loads of cuddles and kisses from you both. You could also try a star chart with days of the week and at bedtime if she hasn't bit then she gets a star or a sticker.

Good luck, and try not to worry, it is normal.

In reply to marsbar: oh and have you spoken to the kindergarten about this, you might find they are used to it and can help you sort it.

In reply to Dominicandave: I agree with Toby A, like his wife I'm a Child Protection Social Worker and in this country it is illegal to leave a mark on a child.

It always baffles me that people think its acceptable to be violent towards their child. Withdrawal of privileges works. I have two small children and have never used any form of violence to control their behaviour. I just send them to their room or take away something that they like for a short while. Both my children are polite and on the whole well behaved.

Simon

In reply to Dominicandave: Whatever punishment you go for (and I'm in the non hitting back camp) I would also discuss things with your partner as you both need to be on the same side and doing the same thing for it to be effective I should think. No use if one of you hits back and the other one goes for a different kind of disclipline.

In reply to Dominicandave: Behavioural conditioning? Rewards for going some length of time without biting?

In reply to JimboWizbo:

Bad idea. It doesn't work with dogs and it doesn't work with people.

In reply to womblesi:

The problem is that serious discussion is curtailed when the anti smacking mob resort to using very emotive language to back up their point of view. A light smack on a child’s hand or bottom is suddenly equated as full on 'hitting' and 'violence'. It does not help debate.

I was smacked twice as a child, once for filling the neighbours car with sand and once when I used a mint condition Sergeant Pepper vinyl record as a frisbee and nearly took my sisters face off in the process. The smacks themselves did not hurt one bit, but the stern talking too and the fact that I had upset my folks and driven them to take such action was what caused the pain. Following on from that experience the next time I was on the brink of doing something stupid I stopped and thought about the consequences

In reply to Dominicandave: I think its difficult, I have managed to only have to smack my son once in 5 years, but I firmly believe that as I had never done this before or been as angry with him as I was at the time, that seeing Daddy angry when he never is, was more of a shock than the smack on the bum.

My daughter on the other hand, would need electroshock therapy to have an effect, she just laughs, she knows when she is put on the naughty step that it is only for 4 min, so she takes her punishment and then does it again. I have in the past put her on the naughty step more than 30 times in one day. The only way we changed her behaviour was to take away her favourite doll. She is still a little minx though.

I think if you never smack then maybe say something along the lines of, Daddy never gets angry or smacks you, but if you continue this behaviour, I will smack you on the bum. Maybe the shock of someone that is normally calm and placid being angry will help.

Some kids though never respond to anything and you just have to bear with it, she will grow out of it.

For what its worth as well, I was smacked a lot when I was younger and not just lightly either, and I still had a fairly good relationship with my dad. Although I would never go as far as he sometimes did.

In reply to Dominicandave:

It really is just a phase of development which will certainly not be cured by smacking or biting in a 'short sharp shock' way. There are very few parents, me included, who can honestly say that they haven't smacked their child at some time or other, in my case, on the few occasions that it has happened, I've felt terrible afterwards. However, depriving small children of toys, treats etc with a clear simple explanation to the child, will work if its done consistently by both parents or partners. I've made the mistake of threats without actually following through with the punishment, and even children of such a young age pick up on that type of weakness. It really will get better if you persevere, but like others say, any type of physical punishment will come back to haunt you, and your child, in the future.

Pete

In reply to Dominicandave:

Biting is just something some toddlers do. It is distressing but it will abate.

Our Lily went through a biting phase between 1.5-2.5 she is 3.5 now and she grew out of it of her own accord. Her key worker suggested that in her experiece children with poor hearing/glue ear often bite because they are less able to listen to others make themselves understood.

Hitting her will not work, her teeth are harder than your hand and all you will achieve is bite marks on your hand.

Why won't the kindergarten take her?

In reply to Pete Ford:

I only ever smacked my daughter once; on the single occasion that she bit me. It was more of a reaction than a punishment. She was really shocked, I also felt terrible but she never bit anyone again.

I'm not sure what conclusions can be drawn.

In reply to Dave Garnett: Smacking is a form of bullying, just have their teeth removed.

In reply to Dominicandave:

Watch Supernanny. Quite interesting and it definitely seems to work. My sister employs these techniques and it works for her too. No shouting or biting or hitting in there..

In reply to Tall Clare:

Biting them? I wouldn't recommend it with a 6 year old, however badly they behave.

In reply to Dominicandave: I think smacking them or biting them is just wrong.
What you should do is tie them to an inclined scaffold plank and train a hosepipe over their face whenever they do something wrong. Five minutes of water boarding is enough for stop most bad habits, though if very deeply ingrained, you may need longer/more frequent sessions.

I would suggest electric shocks, but it's really hard to get the right voltages for kids that age? it varies so much.

In reply to Steve John B:

The temptation is near-overwhelming. Discipline is a whole new challenge when they're not your kids...

In reply to Gunboat_Diplomat:

You should be able to get a fairly smooth voltage with the right transformer surely?

In reply to Jon Greengrass:



Only the teachers are allowed to hit the kids, not other kids, the simple rule here is if a child is violent they get sent home if they don't respond to being smacked, she doesn't. I kind of agree as I'd rather have her home than ending up feeling bullied by the teachers.

In reply to Cú Chullain:

To smack someone in my eyes is a form of violence the same as any physical assault. As I stated above it is illegal in British Law to use force against a child that causes a mark.

I think people who try and explain violence against a child as a "little smack" are just trying to minimise what they are in fact doing and therefore justify it in some way.

In reply to womblesi:

what if it doesn't leave a mark? (semi-serious question)

In reply to teflonpete:

You can, but the problem with kids is, because they're so small, their volume/surface area is much lower. So placing the electrodes becomes crucial. Also, too high a voltage and it becomes less effective because they just spasm and forget, too low and it has no effect.
It just becomes more trouble than it's worth and you're just better off with the waterboarding.
Though if you've got serious money and access to a good makeup artist, carrying out the threat that the boogey man will visit them in bed is REALLY effective!

In reply to womblesi:


I think you're........ a trifle too sensitive. The occasional clout is bloody good for a kid. Especailly boys.

In reply to Gunboat_Diplomat:

<sits back, bowl of popcorn to hand>

In reply to Tall Clare:

Ha ha, there is no way I am going to be bated into responding to that one.

In reply to womblesi:

a wise choice

In reply to Gunboat_Diplomat: ^^^^^^^


what he said, although I agree violence is not a good thing, and lets agree that smacking is a violent act. Sometimes as in my sons case, once was enough.

But I do think its the parents right to decide whether smacking is appropriate, as long as it is for discipline and not abusive reasons.


It's a very fine line though and a difficult one to comment on as each parent and child are different and respond to different punishments in different ways.

In reply to womblesi: I do actually mean it!
I don't mean beating children, but I am of the opinion that a light, well placed clout to the back of the head from the resident silverback tells them their place.

In reply to Tall Clare:

If it doesn't leave a mark then it would be difficult to prove that the child had been hit. However in my eyes it is still not acceptable. There are times when reasonable chastisement is acceptable, such as defending yourself. But I have yet to see a situation when there is an actual need to hit a small child to get it to behave. I think the use of violence just demonstrates that the individual has lost control of the situation.

In reply to Gunboat_Diplomat:

You may well mean it, but from reading what you have posted above an on other thread's I am now going to get drawn into a discussion with you. You of course will be well aware of my thoughts on the subject from what I have posted thus far and they will not change.

In reply to womblesi: I disagree, although in as polite manner as possible.

My smacking of my son was not me losing control of the situation, it was me assessing the situation, trying other methods then a light smack, and by light I mean no marks left and no *pain*

Not like the slaps I used to get, when my ears would ring or repeated smacks

Like I said previously it is difficult to judge each child and parent, until you have experienced the child in questions behaviour.

What would you do in the situation my friend had, where the 5 year old was hitting a 18 month old? The only time he stopped was when he was told for each time he smacked the little one, he would get a smack as well.

Anyway I hope the OP can find a solution and bear in mind that smacking should only be a last resort when all other methods are exhausted.

How many here were smacked and still had good relationships with parents, I certainly don't think it effected me and my brother in any way.

In reply to Dominicandave: But it should never be on the head, the bum or wrist should suffice

In reply to caseyfather: Ha ha you can disagree in any way you see fit. As I have mentioned above smacking is not illegal in this country I just do not agree with it. I believe by smacking a child you are teaching them that hitting another human being is acceptable.

I am glad that your relationship with your parents has not been damaged by being smacked as a child. However, I regularly come across situations where parents have used physical punishment to control their child, and it can have a detrimental impact on there child's development and well being. It can also have a profound affect on their future relationship and the way in turn that they parents their child when the time comes.

In reply to womblesi: Fair enough. But for the sake of your kids' wellbeing, I can offer to come over and beat them for you if you like

In reply to caseyfather:

I remember getting smacked by my parents twice, both times after I'd been told not to do something and then gone ahead and done it. Didn't do any harm at all to my relationship with my folks.

In reply to Gunboat_Diplomat: Ha ha, I will bear it in mind mate.

In reply to womblesi: I always try to have discusiions on forums as if the person responding was in front of me, so non-aggreisve and logical.

I am interested though in alternative methods when the normal techniques have failed, I mean how do you discipline your child if they act violent and you have tried talking, naughty step, removing toys and thye still continue.

I think if a child is being violent to someone else they have to learn there are consequences to their actions, its not something that can be ignored, otherwise by not punishing them you are effectively telling them that the behaviour is ok and they can continue.

In the adult world it's likely that if they hit someone, they will get hit back

In reply to caseyfather:


It really depends who they hit.

In reply to Tall Clare:

No sh1t. Particularly enjoyed the recent interaction with the police thanks to "our" 13 year old's antisocial behaviour. Biting's too good for them...

In reply to Steve John B:

ah, I haven't got that far yet but a 'wiping his mouth after eating... on my t-shirt' incident a couple of weeks ago resulted in me being very tempted to remove his head from his shoulders.

In reply to Dominicandave:
Hiting a 2 year old, no don`t, I gave my 16 year old a right slap the other day, but 2 is too young.
Maybe try a water pistol in the face, but do not make it fun obviously, a quick squirt in the face then a sharp no or naughty.

In reply to Dominicandave: If kid is being excited not agressive, couldn't you do like you would a puppy: make out you are really hurt (yelp, rub, look very sad). or when they bite walk away and turn your back: biting = no attention, end of play.

In reply to womblesi:

I don't have a huge problem with it provided its not used to excess and no 'accessories' are used - like belts, slippers, wooden spoons etc. My mum gave me the odd smack with her hand and I've always had a good relationship with her. My biological male parent however was an evil scumbag who would regularly use a belt at any percieved slight. I haven't spoken to him in 17 years....

I've just whacked my daughter over the back of the head and it hasn't done her any harm as far as I can tell.... We're play fighting though and she's currently attempting to see if how far my fingers will bend backwards

In reply to ceri:

I would agree with that. Also think about a time out zone. As soon as it happens. Do not give any response other than take them and put them in their room/bed/cot or other designated time out area. After a while bring them back but do not give any rewarding behaviour otherwise an association is being made with bite = time out = reward, so the time out is worth the reward.

In reply to Dominicandave:

I dont have children myself but I do like to hit them as much as possible.

In reply to Dominicandave:

A very emotive and subjective issue, this one. At the outset, I must say I am completely in the same camp as Womblesi on this. For what it's worht, I'm a qualified soical worker and child therapist, and have worked for many years in parenting. Bit like an underpaid supernanny, without the cameras. Yes, it is difficult to respond appropriately to a situation. Often, that situation has arisen from previous experience, expriences of anxiety and/or joy and learnt behaviour. A child behaves as a mixture of what it has learnt from parents or peers, and through natural exploration. An inappropriate response to that behaviour tends to increase anxiety, normally leading to further difficult behaviours.

And the magic wand...? I seem to have discovered one by pure accident! (may not work on kittens or puppies) When confronted with low level challenging behaviour, I threaten to lick my children's nose (or ear, or eye - they can't cover them all up). First time they laugh (the threat MUST be carried out), then they panic. From that point on, just hte mention of licky nose results in scarily compliant children. Use sparingly and appropriately. A licky finger placed on the nose/ey/ear works equally well after a while. If they get hacked off with their parents over anything, they too can threaten licky nose - fair's fair.

Seriously, try it for a month. If it works for you, tell other parents and pass it on. If it doesn't, do let me know.

In reply to gribble:

How does one stand giving other's children a 'wet willy' though?

In reply to gribble:

I've got an active 9 year old son who is invariably coated in god knows what compounds, no way on earth am I licking him! :0)

In reply to womblesi:

Sensory deprivation and psychological torture then?

In reply to Ridge: I prefer to use the word's "social conditioning", rather than "torture".

In reply to Ridge:

Only if you take the light bulb out and play Barry Manilow songs in their room.

In reply to Dominicandave:

I'm also in the anti-smacking camp! I can understand how you might occasionally be driven to it when all else fails, but I can't see it as anything other than condoning violent behaviour. Children learn from what we do, not what we say.

I am currently using a shouting technique. My (only just) 3 year old can be quite challenging at the moment. I found that if I lost my temper and shouted, I just felt bad and it seemed to make her worse as she was really unsettled by me losing it.

Now, I ask her nicely twice for whatever behaviour I expect from her (either asking her to do something, or telling her not to do something). If she ignores the request, we both know that the third time will be a shout or a 'big voice'. She does test the boundary, so I do have to go through with it but I am finding it quite effective. I think it works because it does shock her, and she doesn't like it, but I haven't actually lost control.

So, if she is not complying, I warn her that I have asked nicely twice and if she continues it will be a shout. I have to say, sometimes it is quite a relief to let rip, but without ever feeling like I have gone over the edge into complete meltdown!

This is for mostly low-level challenging behaviour. She has only bitten once or twice when really excited, and we found that a quiet and calm 'No, you must never bite. It hurts' has been good enough so far.

Good luck!

In reply to Dominicandave:


I don't hit my kids

In reply to womblesi:

please point us to the legislation for this statement...

In reply to Dominicandave: Samcking doesnt work, my dad smacked me when I was about 14 or 15, not a problem there. But as an instinctive reaction I smacked him back. Yeah don't smack your kids, soon they'll smack you back.

In reply to gribble:

Licking someone in the eye raises an interesting question regarding contamination of the eye with saliva.

So, as you probably know, a very large proportion (80% of adult Americans according to wikipedia) of our population carries HSV-1 (herpes), most often afflicting their mouths. You may think surely not me, but you may be asymptomatic.

This virus causes your cold sores, though can be responsible for much more severe issues (in immunocompetent individuals, too). It can infect many sites around the body, the eyes included.

This is quite a serious matter, I'm sure one can see how ulcers in your eye could damage or even remove vision.

So I guess the big question is, how likely is transmission?

Mum hit me when I was growing up. In hind sight, it was a good idea. Most animals learn cause and effect pretty damn fast when it hurts.

Shouting or time out is replacing the physical discomfort of being smacked with a psychological discomfort. I'd be interested to know which was overall worse. Personally, the latter causes me more grief in life.

The concerns I have with smacking and the like are the same with shouting, or leaving a child in a room for some "alone time". People can go overboard either way and it becomes abuse. This leave no mark thing seems dangerous, a whack to the head leaves no mark and may cause brain damage. If I saw that in a supermarket I'd intervene.



Just a note towards the anti-violence camp:

Maybe I'm just perpetuating the cycle, but violence is a fundamental part of being human. As a nation we commit great acts of violence - the invasions of Iraq and Afghanistan come to mind with their massive civilian causalities. With us as a nation having supported the "war" somehow we manage to get all stirred up when a kid punches another kid.

I've been both those kids, and I can tell you it hurts far less than all the non-physical crap that goes on with being a kid in the school system.

I can also say that I was fortunate enough to work hard during high-school to develop capability in physical confrontations. It served me well. Violence often isn't a choice you make, it's a situation you're forced into. You can either come out psychologically and/or physically beaten, or you can come out a winner with a new higher place in the pecking order.

In reply to abr1966:

http://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/2004/31/section/58

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/4175905.stm

http://www.childrenslegalcentre.com/Legal+Advice/Child+law/Smacking/Whatist...

In reply to womblesi:

http://www.childrenslegalcentre.com/Resources/CLC/Documents/PDF%20N-Z/Smack...

In reply to needvert:

By a 3 year old?



So carrying a knife makes perfect sense then.

In reply to TobyA:

So you'll probably have noticed that my post had two clearly separated chunks. The first clearly relating to children, and the latter, clearly labeled, relating to violence in general.



In some circumstances, yes.

I made a mistake, I should have started another thread about violence in a general sense.

In reply to needvert:


Actually it was a perfectly fair post, but made me think about the logical endpoint of your position - so when does it become ok (or at least culturally more acceptable) to start hitting people? I don't mean that in trite way.

In reply to TobyA:

I'm sure there are lesser occasions, but for me it is not acceptable unless they are ahead of you in Tesco and don't have their debit card ready to pay.

In reply to Trangia: Exact same story on Radio 4 this morning. A biter recounted her mum ("with protrouding teeth")bit her back seventy years ago and cured her of the habit, no reported mental scars. Now my four year old punched me on the nose this morning, I won't be punching him back...

In reply to needvert:

-- so what your saying is that you dont like violence , but when it comes your way, you use it to get "higher up in the pecking order" ?
a bit contradictory there...

In reply to needvert:


HSV is infectious when you have an active viral lesion but not otherwise. Most of the time it exists as a latent infection in the nervous system but there is no viral shedding during this phase. So, the prevalence of latent HSV in a population might be as high as 80% for HSV-1 but only a small proportion of those individuals will be infectious at any one time.

In reply to Dominicandave:

This is all getting too technical, just punch them through a cusion. All the force, no marks, sorted.

I was smacked as a child even caned. Like others above I think it was taken too far on occasion but it never had a bad effect on my relationship with my Dad however I did grow up with a level of respect for him (and adults in general).

I've now helped bring up 2 step sons from 9 and 12 to 19 and 22 and never hit them although I felt like it many times generally more as they got older - perhaps an alpha male thing?

With all the talk of child care and so on is it not possible to do our children more psychological harm by teaching them that there is no consequence to their actions and that their opinions are equally important as those of their parents/teachers etc. Discipline often did go too far but it did bring respect and now as we try to make our children's lives as pain free and easy as possible society as a whole appears to have lost this concept.

How different are we really from all other wild animals that each have their own pecking orders, often enforced by violence to maintain the stability of the 'pack'.

I'm not advocating violence just generally wondering if there is not some link between the drive for an ever regulated society and one where the concept of respect and putting others first has gone out the window

In reply to Dominicandave: As a child my mum did the removal of toys and the go to your room bit and it worked. On the odd time it did not work (2 or 3 times) my dad was involved with the slipper.
That worked every time and afterwards the threat of it worked.

Years later with me ex her youngest was jumping in the top bunk of the beds and refusing to stop.
I tried talking to him and was ignored.
I lifted him down and he got back up.
I told him his toys would be taken away but all he was interested in at that point was jumping on the top bunk.
I put him on the naughty chair but he just got off it and went back to the room.
Eventually I gave him a single open palm slap on the back of the bare leg, hard enough to sting but not bruise.
The jumping stopped instantly and for the rest if the relationship (about 6 more months) the lad did as he was told (as much as any 6 year old does).

In reply to Dominicandave:

mine never bit habitually, just normal kid stuff - that was soon rectified when one bit a cat we had, the cat hissed and bit back leaving 4 shallow tooth marks and i collapsed in hysterics.

lord i wish i had it on film.
no one was really hurt, everyone learned their lesson and it was funny as hell.

In reply to spearing05:

Yeah, those pesky modern liberal tigers just get laughed at by all the other tigers when they try to 'reason' with their cubs instead of cuffing them....

In reply to ice.solo:

It is funny afterwards but she has been biting the dog lately, I just worry when she does eventually bite a dog that isn't ours and it bites back!

In reply to Dominicandave:

yeah thats different and would be nasty.

maybe one of those hannibal lector masks?

In reply to Dominicandave:

I find they only try to bite if you put your hand in the cage. Best to shut the cage under the stairs and ignore them.

In reply to Dax H: I was smacked as a kid, but having seen the likes of super nanny (I know, but there is nothing else on TV at 6am on a Sunday morning when I am looking after Eeebygum junior) I am totally convinced that smacking is not required. You just have to persist with the naughty step / seat until they get the message that you are not going to give up. They will try absolutely everything, but if you stick to the technique without compromise, it does work and very quickly once established.

In reply to Dominicandave: Part of why I think spanking (or a mild clout for boys above a certain age) is good for children is that it is a lesson in itself.

Even if the naughty step works, it does nothing to teach them that violence does exist in the world and they could well be on the receiving end of it. I think it's an adult's job to produce as well rounded a young adult as possible. It's all right respecting boundaries etc, and to a large extent I agree. But I do honestly beleive that even to a limited extent, they should know a little of what violence is.

In reply to Gunboat_Diplomat:

Don't worry there's plenty of rough and tumble in a kids life, stories, films and so on without their parents hitting them.

In reply to the thread in general: There's no excuse for hitting a toddler, not once, not ever.