UKC

whos done it, any hints and tips, so nervous!! 400 people listening when i do it! absolutley bricking it. tried to write it many times already but dont seem to get anywhere.

cheers

In reply to ollieollie:


Jesus, is it being broadcast live on QVC?

In reply to ollieollie:

I've done it a few times now, it's always an honor but never a right lot of fun until it's over. I guess it might be different if you're a extrovert who enjoys that sort of thing but I'm not. On the upside it's a pretty easy gig, everyone is in party mood and willing you to do well, they'll laugh basically on prompt so long as you don't get the tone completely wrong.

jk

In reply to ollieollie: Bricking it is the norm, but don't worry, most make allowances for that, while being grateful it's not them!Good to do when the booze has had a chance to flow a bit, keep it short and sweet and stick to the age old tradition of dropping the Groom in it for laughs.
Good luck!

In reply to Skyfall: i know, the bride is hindu and they like a big bash!

In reply to ollieollie:

I've done it 3.5 times. Always an honour. Always terrifying.

- Start with an icebreaker to get them on your side.

- Make the speech yours - don't do too much googling for material, or it won't be personal

- Moderate your drinking till after you've finished.

- Don't forget the audience includes friends and relatives you don't know. A long anecdote about you and the groom might be very funny, but if it's only shared by a handful of the guests, the rest will feel left out.

- Compliment the bride

- Smile. Enjoy it. Everybody's on your side.

In reply to ollieollie: Stay sober until after the speeches! Take the piss of the groom, but not too heavily. Think of two or three amusing / slightly embarrassing incidents he has been involved in and embellish them, include these in a brief biography. (Avoid any references to past girlfriends and sexual misadventures.) Check who you're supposed to thank and propose a toast to, and finish by proposing the toast. Keep it fairly short
.
When delivering your speech, choose a friendly looking person towards the back of the room and imagine you're just talking to them.

Have fun and remember, your audience is on your side and wants you to do well.

Intro/opening icebreaker
Congrats to parents, thanks to all who need thanking
About your mate - funny stories etc - the core of the speech
Your mate and his wife, how great they are etc - do a tribute to wifey, it'll go down well. Drop the funnies, be a bit sincere here
Closing gag and toast

In reply to ollieollie:

Best joke I ever heard in a wedding speech is "It's been an emotional day. even the wedding cake's in tiers". Stole it for when I did mine and went down a storm.

Only applies if it is, in fact, a tiered cake...

But you knew that already.

In reply to ollieollie:

Be funny, but not too funny.
Be nice to the bride, but not too nice.
Have a drink before hand, but not too much.
Talk about the groom, but not too much.

Done

In reply to ollieollie:

Remember the main person who you need to go home at the end of the day feeling it was appropriate is the bride ... oh, and the groom.

In reply to ollieollie: I ate and drink as little as I could which helped me. When doing your speech, map it out, work at it for as long as it feels ok, then put it down and keep revisiting it as often as you can. It will develop. Certainly be yourself, but with preparation, you should be able to show your best skills.

In reply to ollieollie:

Rehearse it a few times the day before and on the morning of the wedding. YOu might also want to make a little crib sheet with headings in case you lose the thread.

Don't get pished until afterwards.

In reply to ollieollie:

"I'd just like to reassure Mr and Mrs Inlaw that this isn't a matter of losing a daughter as much as gaining a dependent"

In reply to ollieollie:

Getting married is like parachute jumping - your entire future depends on a quantity of white silk appeared behind you at the right moment.

jcm

In reply to ollieollie:

I was best man for the first time in February.  It’s a great honour but not enjoyable until after the event.  I vowed that I would never do it again until I accepted my other mates request to be best man at his wedding this coming October.

My tips:

Keep the speech short 6-7 minute’s max Don’t try to be funny, it will fail but do add a bit of humour etc – Only you know what you feel confident doing.  Try to tell the stories as you would normally in your natural tone.  If it’s funny people will make their own minds up and respond accordingly.

Write the speech in full, commit it to memory and then work out the parts were you can embellish, ad lib etc. Don’t be afraid to go off the cuff.  I had an opening planned but ended up going with a throw a way remark based on something the groom said in his speech.  It went down well as it was relevant and the audience had just been laughing about it.

If you do get a ‘real’ laugh early its plain sailing.  Luckily for me I had the audience howling in the first sentence and then laughing again at the end of the first paragraph.  Once I had that I relaxed big time as I knew they would laugh at what was to follow.

Know your escape route (from the speech that is.. not the room, unless you have just offended the entire bridal party).  I had a moment when I forgot the next paragraph as I had just embellished the part before.  I had bullet points as a safety net but my eyes wouldn’t focus as the basic speech was committed to memory I just reverted to that until I got back on track.

Don’t be too mushy but do be sincere in the right parts

Don’t reel of loads of embarrassing stories from drunken nights out etc, keep the anecdotes to simple ones that can 1) either be related to by the audience or easy for the audience to visualise etc.  Max 2 stories!!

Accept audience participation.   Audience members shouting out witty comments which make people laugh are good.  People won’t remember that it wasn’t you but they will remember them as part of your speech.  I made a joke about how we became mates and a misunderstanding.  I had the bride butt in to tell everyone that when they first met he told her the same things.  I also had people in the audience shouting that he had said the same to them.  Even though I hadn’t done anything it was me who got the credit for the laughs etc.

In reply to ollieollie:

Ah yes, this sticks in my mind as how not to make a BM speech: youtube.com/watch?v=YOrLr4rk6qs&

In reply to ollieollie:

Any more than 5 mins is too long.
Don't use any gags off the web - keep it personal.
The lad's might want smut they're only a small % of your audience.

In reply to ollieollie: I managed to squeeze the C word into my Groom's speech.

In reply to ollieollie:

Best bit of advice I got was to remember that everyone is just dying to laugh at your speech. It's the easiest audience you'll ever have.

In reply to puppythedog:
At my mates wedding, his father in law managed to get pictures on everyone's table of my mates 12 year old shrunken penis emerging from an apparently very cold pool! DO NOT do anything like this! It still causes friction! He has fathered a child since.

In reply to ollieollie:

The most important thing is to practice, practice, practice, the practice again, and again. Do it in front of a mirror and/or your partner if you have one, so that you can pick up on unfortunate mannerisms.

Don't learn it word for word, but be prepared to ad hoc - that looks so much more natural.

Speak clearly and slowly - don't gabbel. Tell jokes and allow time for laughter with pauses.

Engage with your audience - look at them

If you are nervous admit it, that's a great ice breaker and they'll be with you.

Remember this is a friendly, benign audience which wants you to speak to them. Use that knowledge, not many public speakers have such an easy audience.

Good luck

Oh! And don't forget, practice.....

In reply to ollieollie: I agree with Trangia,