UKC

So...
You're encouraging and motivating your climbing partner, whether on a trad lead, top rope, second or sport route, the style isn't the topic I'm aiming at here...
What do you say / do to encourage them, when they're struggling, faltering, scared or trying hard to get to another level?
What works best?
On the receiving end, what words of wisdom / advice have motivated you to get the job done when you're struggling on the climb or trying something on your 'next level'?




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In reply to Lobsbelow:

Generally it depends on the person and their level of experience.

With absolute beginners I generally let them down as soon as they ask with lots of praise for however far they got, and they are raring to go again as soon as possible. The only exception is on the rare occasions that some people (sadly all too often young women in front of men) are looking for attention for failure - what my grandmother reliably assures me was called coquetry in the 1930s. I will still let them down of course, but not give as much attention.

For more experienced climbers it depends on what works for them. Anything from 'Allez!' a la Hard Grit to 'Nice one you've nearly got it' etc., or even 'C'mon you're not going to lose are you?' as long as they know where the comment is coming from. All depends on the climbers and the relationship.

Worth bearing in mind that people enter different mental states when they struggle when climbing and so may need different forms of encouragement than they would otherwise. Personally I like people to be gentle with me in most areas of my life, but when climbing I like lots of positive comments laced with a firm expectation of success.

Hope that's of some use!

ml

In reply to Lobsbelow:

Hurry the f*ck up, or else I'll tie the ropes off and go to the pub

In reply to Mountain Lass:

Positive comments with a firm expectation of success is a good 'in a nutshell' of what I think works for me. I'll try to remember that phrase when I'm encouraging others, thanks

Not sure I fully understand the picture of young women / coquetry ... I've never led groups so I can't comment at how gender mix fix comes into play in those situations.
Anyway, don't want to derail my own thread with a gender issue...
Yeah, what you say about mental states at the time and the relationship you have with your climbing partner / what works for them rings true. What works with one partner can rub another partner up the wrong way!

In reply to Goucho:

Lol, that's true for one of my climbing partners.

In reply to Lobsbelow:

Usually with a mixture:

A small part of useful advice
A large helping of taking the piss

It is important to get the mix right - too much help spoils it.

In reply to Goucho:

"Come on youth, time to shit or get off the pot."

In practice though, thinking about it, I think I do well off shouts of encouragement if I'm a bit scared despite not being in much real danger - bouldering or on a sport route or on a well protected trad crux or whatever. Being totally honest, I'm probably more likely to pull hard or take a safe whipper if I think it'll impress my mates...

If I'm properly scared, though, I basically just want people to shut the f*ck up and let me find what I need for myself - in fact, I've been known to respond impolitely to people offering helpful advice in that sort of situation.

In reply to Lobsbelow:

come on the pub closes in half hour...

In reply to Lobsbelow:

A lot of it happens before the climb.

There's a bit in 'Let's Go Climbing!' where Kirkus says that the perfect second is calm and completely confident in your ability to climb the pitch.

This quiet confidence, for me, is a bigger boost than lots of shouting etc ...

In reply to Lobsbelow:

I throw stones at them.

In reply to Lobsbelow:

"Just don't fall because I'm not sure I can catch you" immediately before they set off.

In reply to Lobsbelow:

i've found
"just stand up"
to cause some degree of vexation before....

In reply to Lobsbelow:

Tell them they've flicked their gear out. So to speak.