In reply to BnB:
Yup, I reckon it could easily replace Month Pythons 'Dead Parrot sketch'
ME: I want to buy a water proof outfit please....
Salesman: Have you considered the Paramo gear?
Me: is it any good?
Salesman : Oh yes, Our customers swear by it! Did you know, the British Antarctic Survey, issue it too?! It's that good!!
Me: must rain a lot down there....look at all the white stuff they have , eh?
Salesmn; Oh sure!
Me: what are those funny foam strips in the jackets rear all about then?
Salesman: that's to keep you sac from pressing against your jacket and causing wet to get through...
Me: ah okay....what's the foam pads in the trousers for then?....
Salesman: :. ..Sillly...That's to stop you getting wet knees, when you kneel on the snow for instance..Whilst wearing your 'waterproof troos'...
Me: ah okay then...your sure this jackets really waterproof ? There's a hell of a lot of zips, and unsealed seams and such like. Are they taped to stop...y 'know. ..Water getting through?
Salesman: all our customers swear by the 'Paramo Pump/analogy system'...Don't worry! Your body heat will force any moisture out through the shell, you'll be bone dry by the time you get back to the car. In fact you can probably drive home wearing the same clothes you've had on all day!!
Me: sounds amazing! Gimme one of those 300 quid Smock thingies. ' if it's okay for BAS? '..
Salesman: certainly Sir....would you like to buy some 'Angel dust' to sprinkle on the jacket too?...
Me: eh?
Salesman: Well, in the trade we call call it Nikwax...