In reply to Yanis Nayu:
> ...trying to prove something to the world...'
And ourselves. Royal Robbins once wrote how we have this feeling that, if we do a particular route (or make a particular time or...), somehow everything will be all right, our lives will mysteriously swing into balance. Only, of course, they won't. It's a pathetic fallacy and yet we all fall for it.
Over 40 years ago, suddenly I could do routes beyond my wildest dreams. But the first love of my life binned me (she had her reasons) and two years of my life disappeared in a waste of pain, drink, drugs. Slowly I crawled out of the abyss, older, (a little) wiser.
And that's what we do. We come back - because it's unfinished business. Yet it's different. I agreed with little that John Redhead said/wrote. But I think he got it spot on with 'authentic desire', finally doing it because you love it, ego's fallen by the wayside.
John McEnroe said that there's one tennis match that everyone remembers as golden. (I think it was between Jimmy Connors and him, circa 1980.) He said, "They love that match. But what they've long ago forgotten [and I haven't!?] is that... I lost."
I know the Yanks keep saying, "It's a process," like it's some sodding mantra. But they're right. The tick's lovely to get. But, in the end, the joy of struggle is resonance with the human condition. Win or lose, the joy of struggle is always with us.
Mick