UKC

I am 52, in a relationship and have a young son (9yrs old). I have been in the same job (teaching) for nearly 20 yrs. My problem is I have lost all motivation. I come to work each day and just dream of being away from work. When at work I lack the focus and drive I need to do my job properly. Even being out in the hills and climbing are suffering. The things I look forward to are being with my son when I have access to him. I think about a change of job but this would seriously affect my time with my son.

Would advise would you give to regain my motivation??

In reply to malc:

Hi
It might be worth a visit to your GP to check if you are depressed as this can cause people to lose motivation. I speak as a psychiatric nurse with 35 yrs of NHS experience, good luck.

In reply to malc:

Agree with Phil. Loss of motivation in work and play are classic signs of depression.

In reply to malc:


Malc, I thought hard about your post and my best suggestion is - work on the above fact/ statement. Try as hard as you can to retool your job / to change, improve what you do at work, on your actions at work, on how [and what?] you teach. Can you start some new initiatives at work? Etc.

I'm very sorry if this doesn't help.

Anyway I wish you all the very best.

In reply to malc:

Looking after my son was the best job I've ever had. Endlessly engaging, fun and rewarding.

Hang on in there pal. Maybes you need some help but only can do decide that.

Take care.

In reply to malc:

Have a chat with your gp, or you can self refer to IAPT. (I just have, work is not good at the moment- Ofsted and the DFE are giving us grief)

For what it's worth IAPT tell me that they are seeing a lot of teachers at the moment who are fed up.

In reply to malc:

Make time to give yourself love and attention. Eat good food with lots of salad and sprouted beans etc. Get lots of exercise, especially climbing (it's impossible to lack motivation sketching 10' above your last runner!), try to have sex regularly or visit Madame palm. Don't worry about stuff, we are all going to die so make the most of it while it lasts - shout guranga at the top of you voice from time to time. Go out with friends, see some stand up comedy, take your boy camping and cook over a campfire.

If none of this helps then try identifying what is draining your energy? See your GP, but be wary of anti depressants, ask for cbt instead. By identifying your issue you are most of the way to fixing it. Good luck dude!

In reply to malc:
these are my thoughts :
make sure you are on your own side, dont let that little voice in your head over criticize you for whatever things from the past.
only you can save yourself. its a stressful thought but true. acknowledge that and that is the beginning.
people who care about you cannot create motivation for you.
good luck !

In reply to malc:

I'd go with "phil kujawa's" advice. Also see if your education authority has a staff support and counselling service you can access.

In reply to fastfinger:



True, but positivity rubs off. So hang around with positive people.

In reply to hokkyokusei:


But you also need to tell them that you are lacking motivation/depressed, otherwise it could make things worse.

In reply to malc:

Being fed up at work is devastating, and can easily account for lack of motivation. Like it or not, work validates us, and being miserable in work will affect everything else.

Why not go for a few interviews for other teaching jobs, and see if a different environment looks more motivating? Alternatively, why not consider tutoring and/or supply teaching ? At least you will have more control.

Personally I am of the view that if things are unsatisfactory in your life then unfortunately you have to change them.

In reply to malc:

Are you getting to spend enough time with your son? You imply (unless I misread your OP) it's the thing you look forward to the most (and the phrase "when I have access to him" worries me as it might not be an easy thing to resolve).

Also, you say "even being out in the hills and climbing are suffering". Do you mean that you are not very motivated about those things too at the moment? Or that you are not getting to spend enough time doing them either?

Basically, is it your actual job getting you down, or the amount of time you are (not) getting to spend with your son or in the hills?

In reply to malc:

Worth a trip to your GP to get your thyroid and Testosterone levels checked, taking into account your age and what you describe good chance one will be low. At the very least a quick google and worth ruling out , so you can focus on other avenues like depression

In reply to malc:

I was going to post a very similar thread recently. I'm not sure I can add much other than to say you're not alone. I turned 50 last year and whilst hard to take it was no way as devastating as turning 30 was.

Same as you I taught for about 20 years. Married for over 20 and two kids. I've always been a pretty miserable bastard but once I had kids, after turning 30, my mood nose dived. The last 10 to 15 years have been pretty crap.

That said once I had kids I also realised I needed money so went career. Whether that has made my life worse or better is debatable. Whether I would have been happier without kids is also debatable.

I share your lack of motivation/inspiration.
Can't be arsed with the hills - that means getting up early and long drives which I do enough of at work. Also petrol costs.
Can't be arsed climbing - haven't done it in so long i'd be too scared to enjoy it. Too much effort organising people to go with and would struggle to remember everything I would need to take.
Can't be arsed with work - roll on retirement. All smiles "Hello how are you" "I'm good, how are you" (aaaaaargh!!!!!)
Can't be arsed with the kids - after all if I hadn't had them all my money would be mine and the missus and I would be having weekends away all the time and 2 or 3 holidays a year. Smaller house - more money. No uni costs - more money. Not interested in doing anything remotely interesting - 2 Sky boxes so we can watch endless crap on a Saturday night and yes you guessed it more money. Mobile phones for the little ***** - more money. Latest designer clothes - more money.
Can't be arsed reading - i just can't concentrate and wouldn't know what to read anyway.
Can't be arsed seeking out 'new' things on TV to watch - after all there all just the bloody same anyway.
Can't be arsed exercising - what's the point I won't need it, not like I'm going to ever climb all the things I wanted to when I was younger.

That said. I, and you, have a responsibility. To ourselves, our family and the people we work with. I agree with all the suggestions so far. You might be depressed, god knows I think I've possibly been most of my life. You might just need to consider new horizons eg new job. Either way you need to take action be it exercise, new job or see a specialist.

Me. I'm f*cking off up the hills tomorrow. I'll be on my own which I don't like - it was always a social event for me. It's that or descend into sitting watching crap on TV drinking wine and eating crap. I know pretty soon there will be no way back and now is the time for action. I'll come home to the wife and kids making demands of me when all I'll want to do is have a bath, eat pizza, drink wine and sleep but that's how it's going to have to be.

Good luck with whatever you choose. I never ever thought I'd end up feeling like this. I loved life when I was in my 20's.