UKC

inspired by Misha's Slothful society but different.

I don't think I'm really slow but neither am I fast on winter routes (unless it's at my limit or well within my limits). However, whilst I do not really skids about the place and my footwork is decent, I would not describe my climbing style as graceful. Mostly efficient yes, but not poised and contained.
I am more of a grunt and curse, jam and wedge, udge and hump kind of climber.

I am not too ashamed of it and still reckon I deserve recognition for my dedication in winter. I like watching my climbing partners whom I see as definitely more graceful than I but I am no bumbly either despite my huffing up things. Sometimes it feels like I am falling up routes!

I thereby wish to invite you to join me in the ungraceful climber society so that we can celebrate together one's grim victory over difficulty, one's efficiency, one's sacrifice of one's dignity in the name of ticking the winter route of one's dream. Cheating not allowed: we may have no grace but we have principles!

Describe your style and feel free to illustrate it with messy testimonials.
Cheers
French Erick (French free, I do not condone!)

In reply to French Erick:

Your raw power and determination gets you up routes, the rest of us have to develop our footwork!!

Regards

Stuart

In reply to French Erick:

I started reading that as the ungrateful climber society !

In reply to French Erick: Not paying enough attention I read the title as "ungrateful". Probably shows the cynic in me...

In reply to French Erick:
I'm up for this. Back and footing, udging, squirming and liberal use of knees, that's what it's all about! Crypt Route, Great Overhanging Gully on Beinn Bhan, Route I on the Ben, Darth Vader, the list goes on... I'd like to give Winter Chimney a go when it's got some neve in it. Not good for keeping the waterproofs in decent nick but who cares? That's what seamgrip was invented for!

In reply to French Erick:

There's a chapter in Tom Patey's book "One Man's Mountsins" on exactly this. Can't lay my hands on it just now but as I recall it was Patel lampooning his own climbing style, or alleged lack of it. Very expressive and very funny.

In reply to Misha:

I've considered adding tweed patches to my waterproofs for extra grip in the udge! Under the forearms and elbows for getting onto ledges, and inside knees to help me stay on them!

In reply to jonnie3430:


How about some knee pad crampons, they'd come in handy!

In reply to Steve Perry:

It's amazing how shouting "Come on!" at your knees makes the Paramo grip better!

In reply to French Erick:

How about some photographic contributions?

In reply to Tricadam:


I'm sure I can find plenty of photo's of Erick climbing like a bag of spanners.

In reply to colinakmc:

I think that was the chapter "Apes or Ballerinas?". Unfortunately I can't find a copy on the web & my copy of the book is back in Scotland. Memory suggests that the ape was Patey & the British while the ballerina was Gaston Rebuffat & the French although I've climbed with many French climbers who tend to the primate end of the spectrum.

In reply to DaveHK:

I have many Dave. None of Erick in Winter, they are all on rock but I guess that shows he is consistent in his (lack of) grace. Saw his proto-wall this weekend and I think I'll need to go there and train hard this spring to try and be as ungraceful as he is.

Looking forward to an ungraceful, thrutchy faff of a summer with much huffing and puffing and swearing in Scottish (me) and French (Erick).

In reply to French Erick:


My top-outs are best described as "beached whale".

In reply to Tricadam:

You'd be doing well to look graceful on that route though. It's a total grovel the whole way up.

In reply to Tricadam:

awesome! Classic Scottish knee! Rock climbing has knee bars, we have knee wedges, knee rests, knee placements and...crawling!

In reply to French Erick:

Is membership of this society compatible with membership of the Cowardly Climbers Club? (CCC)

In reply to Simon4:


Possibly; - I'm going to ask if they want reciprocal rights with my Thud and Blunder Climbing Club

In reply to Tricadam:

I can vouch for your lack of gracefulness.

I, on the other hand, am a model of aesthetic style, beauty and grace.

Come to think of it, you may be holding me back- just saying.

In reply to French Erick:





Is there another way?

In reply to Simon4:


Compatible with all societies except aesthetic climbing ones!
I am a true coward at heart...that's why I try to go in remote coire so that only Dave will witness it. I pay him well enough (my company is special and is pay in its own right) to not shout it out and keep climbing with me!!

In reply to rogerwebb:

A man after the society's own heart...you're in!

In reply to rogerwebb:

Guile, that's the word I've heard you use. The key skill of the winter climber.

In reply to Tricadam:

Looks like you're trying to get a helmet jam. This is where you lower down in a chimney and your head fits through the gap but your helmet doesn't. You can then have a semi rest on your chin strap and it doesn't count as doggin the route. Similar to the rucksack hooking, though that can be hellish in the wrong direction, I.e when trying to move upwards.

In reply to Steve Perry:

Aye! Nowt like a good helmet wedge! My favourite move is the chin rest: hooking yer chin on a nice icy ledge and shaking out while acquiring minor frostbite.

Muay Thai may be the art of fighting with 8 limbs, but you need at least 3 more than that on a proper winter route.

In reply to DaveHK:

Let's see them, Dave! We need a competition for most ungraceful photo of the week.

In reply to French Erick:


I only come for the banter.

In reply to DaveHK:

well...it's sure not for my graceful climbing style at any rate!

In reply to French Erick:
For photographic evidence, this picture (http://ecossemountains.blogspot.ch/2012_11_01_archive.html) shows me up an early season variation of Fiacaill Couloir. If Kevin had waited 5 minutes you'd have a nice shot of me on hand and knees, traversing under a bulge on my way back to the route proper

In reply to Plungeman:

maybe my PC but that links takes me to "Sorry, the page you were looking for in this blog does not exist. "

In reply to gavmac:


Guile is largely about;

'Head, shoulders, knees and elbows two eyes (or not) two forearms a mouth and your nose head shoulders knees and elbows, knees and elbows'

In reply to rogerwebb:

You forgot, half a bum cheek.

In reply to baldie:

Substitute backside for nose!

In reply to French Erick:
Scottish VIII is something I'd aspire to be able to climb.

I think if you climbed easier things, you could possibly go slowly enough to be graceful, but we're only here for limited time, so where's the point in doing that? Kinda serious.

In reply to Timmd:

Well, Blood Sweat and Frozen Tears (BSFT) isn't really an VIII, widely thought of as a classic VII,8. I was not grateful at all on that...very sketchy too and not my proudest moment all spiked up. I have climbed better and enjoyed myself more on a few VIIs though (but yet again, tech grades in NW are probably quite soft, though I'll fully claim the VII parts for a few!).

I used to think I'd never climb anything harder than V and would in time become a graceful climber. Turns out I was only partly unrealistic.

In reply to DaveHK:

"Shuffle along the tapering ledge, dry humping the wall like a teenager at a school disco."

In reply to Tricadam:

Very good. Is that from an actual description?

In reply to DaveHK:

If only! Perhaps we should compile an alternative Scottish winter guidebook written more "descriptively".

In reply to Tricadam:
Every other mixed route would have "squirm up the groove, swearing profusely and destroying your new waterproofs in the process".

In reply to French Erick:

I thoroughly like the manifesto and sentiment set out by Mr Wilson I presume on the first page of Cold Climbs, by quoting Norman Collie, which I shall pain you all by repeating in full.

And what joy, think ye, did they feel after the exceeding long and troublous (sic) ascent? After
Scrambling, slipping
Pulling, pushing
Lifting, gasping
Looking, hoping
Despairing, climbing
Holding on, falling off
Trying, puffing
Loosing, gathering
Talking, stepping
Grumbling, anathematising
Scraping, hacking
Bumping, jogging
Overturning, hunting
Straddling,
for know you that by these methods alone are the most divine mysteries of the Quest reached.

Gorgeous stuff.

In reply to French Erick:


One out of two is pretty good.

In reply to Tricadam:

We had some great ones on Saturday from Erick making steam train noises as he wedged different parts of himself in an off width to me spending much more time you'd expect for a VII lying down in the snow.

In reply to Tricadam:

That looks brilliant, where is it?

In reply to DaveHK:

I should have known that, I've done it!

Long time ago though, must be getting forgetful. That second picture says it all.