UKC

Afternoon,

I was sorting car insurance out yesterday and phoned up my present insurer to get the vehicle swapped over .
After reaching the wrong department first off they then put me through to the department that deals with such things and I'm greeted by a young man who introduces
himself as.......

Muhammad Ali

Anyone else had a name given to them that you just thought , did I hear that correctly.



TWS

In reply to Chive Talkin\':


When I first heard that Sara Cox had named her son Isaac. Poor sod.

In reply to Chive Talkin\':

if your are dealing with Spanish speaking cultures, getting Jesus on the phone can be fun.

In reply to RX-78:


"Sorry, it's a bad line, did you just say 'Blessed are the Cheesemakers?'"

In reply to RX-78:


Reminds me of that joke about the importance of 'context'. If you are in Dublin or Rome, and a man puts his hand on your shoulder and whispers in your ear, "Jesus loves you!", you may well experience a feeling of warmth and comfort.

However, if you are in a Mexican jail and a man puts his hand on your shoulder and whispers in your ear, "Jesus loves you!", it might not be so good.....

In reply to Chive Talkin\':

Makes me wonder how on earth Neville Neville got on renewing his car insurance.

In reply to planetmarshall:


I knew someone at primary school called Alexander Mycock, his nick-name was Alec

In reply to Chive Talkin\':

we work with a corporate law firm called Morrison Foerster which it has chosen to abbreviate its name to MoFo. www.mofo.com

I can't work out whether they are legal geeks trying to be street or just oblivious.

In reply to Chive Talkin\':

Lulu Liu at my last firm always raised a smile

In reply to Chive Talkin\':

There's a young English boxer called Mohammed Ali. I remember seeing an interviewer say it was a bit cheeky that he'd named himself after 'The Greatest"... not twigging that as Mohammed was of Pakistani heritage, the name was highly likely the one he had been born with.

In reply to planetmarshall:


Will she call a daughter Ophelia?

In reply to Chive Talkin\':

Had a client called James Bond.

In reply to Chive Talkin\':

I was once taking a register at a children's summer camp thing in an area with a large ethnic minority community. I was struggling my way through the list of names anyway, and thought I had this one wrong, but it turned out to be right.

The kid in question was called Genghis Khan.

In reply to Chive Talkin\':

The student I had called Jane Eyre. You do wonder about parents sometimes.

In reply to Chive Talkin\':

My mate's parents rescued a dog called Carol Smiley... Since renamed Bella.

In reply to RX-78:


That would make my day
Someone walks in and asks what your up to , you turn around and comment "oh I was just talking to Jesus on the phone"

I once encountered a Merlin. Never learnt the second name.

In reply to Chive Talkin\':

I once taught a lad called Euan Mee...

And F

In reply to Chive Talkin\':

A ski instructor called Richard Turpin

In reply to Chive Talkin\':

I went to uni with a guy called Richard (Dick) Whittington. At an early lecture the lecturer, thinking someone was trying to be funny, read out the sign in sheet and said 'oh and where is 'Dick Whittington' then? He put his hand up.

In reply to Chive Talkin\':

My mates wife is a teacher somewhere in Fife and had a pupil the other year called "Le-a" (pronounced ledasha). I'd always thought it was an urban legend but apparently not! Maybe the parents took inspiration from it...

I'm sure my mother has a cousin called Campbell Campbell too... madness!

In reply to kolkrabe:

I'm sure my mother has a cousin called Campbell Campbell too... madness!

'Campbell Campbell' is bad enough, but 'Campbell Campbell Too' is taken it a bit far!
In fact, wouldn't 'Campbell Campbell Two' make more sense?

In reply to Chive Talkin\':

I had a mate who's surname was 'Kirton' and his mum was called "Anne"

I desperately wanted "Anne" to be short for "Annette", but sadly, it wasn't. How awesome would that have been?

In reply to Chive Talkin\':

I work with a Derren Brown and a Paul McKenna.

In reply to Chive Talkin\':
Omitting their first names for privacy, a Mr Careless works/worked in a school in Sheffield. I had a tutor called Mr Fussy, and I know of a Mr Tickle.

I'd love to be able get them all in the same room and introduce them to one another.

In reply to kolkrabe:

>my mother has a cousin called Campbell Campbell

I used to know an Angus Angus.

In reply to Chive Talkin\':

I used to work with Jesus. We stayed in touch for several years so I really did "have a friend in Jesus". His mum and dad were nice too.

In reply to Chive Talkin\':

at work i have a tom o'connor, a mel gibson and a gregory peck! (the gregory-peck is a double barrel surname rather than an actual gregory peck but still!)

In reply to Chive Talkin\':

Michael Christopher Hunt was in the year below me at school and Richard John Head in the same year. This was in the late 1950's so they were always called by their full names by everyone. Not until the late 60's did their names become a problem to them. Both took to using their middle names! Unfortunately we didn't.

In reply to Chive Talkin\':
A colleague came back from his lunchtime Tesco trip sniggering like a schoolboy. The girl on the checkout had a name badge that said "Ramit Deep". We're so peurile that a few of us went there the next day to see for ourselves.

In reply to Hooo:

Are you sure it wasn't a guy? Idly looked on FB and found one of that name.

*must get out more*

In reply to Chive Talkin\':

I sold my house no 25 the same time as the neighbour at no 23.
The two new families were called Mr & Mrs Tickle at no 23 and I sold to Mrs Cocks.

So the two adjoining semis (fa-narr fa-narr) were Tickle-Cocks

In reply to Queenie:

He said it was a woman. I wasn't one of the ones who went to confirm it, so I have to take their word for it.
Still just as funny as a guy's name anyway.

In reply to Chive Talkin\':

A friend was at school with a boy called Ewan Kerr. Even better, this was in Wales, so his first name was pronounced with two very distinct syllables.

In reply to Chive Talkin\':

We have a Lady in our Indian office that's called Pooja Pant

In reply to balmybaldwin:

I had a biology teacher at school called "Mrs Kneebone"
And a student I tutored at university called Loveday Coming.

In reply to smallclimber:

I used to work (very indirectly) with a chap called Barry Collarbone. I wonder if they're connected in some way.

I had a maths teacher at school called Mr Love who used to race a double kayak with his friend and paddling partner, local GP Dr Darling.

In reply to hokkyokusei:

I heard of someone using Uber and getting the message on their phone "Jesus is arriving in a Honda Accord". Seems a bit odd to me - if he was doing the whole Second Coming thing in a vehicle I would have put odds on it being a Prius or an electric car.

In reply to Chive Talkin\':
My maths teacher at a-level was Mr Daddo-Langlois. Guess what his nickname was.

In reply to Chive Talkin\':

There is a guy that works for IST (they make rubber pipe mats that carry the glycol below the ice on toboggan runs and ice rinks) called Dick Kiss

Not Richard - Printed as Dick on his business cards

Just tried to google it - not easy

In reply to Timmd:


He taught me there in the 90's as did Mr Joy. Both good teachers, which is more than I can say for McClure.

In reply to Chive Talkin\':

At work the head of our Enterprise team is........wait for it.........


Jim Kirk

I also work with a Neil Armstrong

In reply to Duncan Bourne:

He's not posted for a while (although his photos are still in the photo gallery), but there's a Scottish climber /photographer called Rod Stewart. Think Crags made a comment when he had some photos published.

In reply to Chive Talkin\':

One year we had applications from two wannabe students: one called Bosomworth, the other Titman. We wanted to have them both, purely on the grounds of their surnames, but Bosomworth went elsewhere and we were just left with Tits, as she was affectionately know by her fellow students.

In reply to kolkrabe:

It's always a friend of a friend. It's an urban myth, easily found on snopes and other such places.

In reply to hokkyokusei:


Surely that's his business? Or his friend's?

In reply to Chive Talkin\':


On one occasion climbing at Scugdale a few years ago I encountered a very posh woman with two young kids called Merlin and Octavia.

In reply to Chive Talkin\':
At one point I worked with two Dr. Fosters a Peter Piper and a Phill Mitchell.
Edit, just remembered another one, there was a Richard titball talking at a conference I went to.

In reply to Welsh Kate:


I had a Sunday school teacher called Miss Titball. We used to call her Titters (not to her face). She was the local librarian and a really cool lady.
p.s. Hi Kate!

In reply to Chive Talkin\':

At school we had a science (or maybe biology) teacher called Dr Bates, as a child he would have been known as Master bates.

Also, at Lindsey Climbing Club (Grimsby) we had a young chap by the name of Joe Brown.

In reply to Chive Talkin\':

The surgeon who rebuilt my ankle was called Dr Butcher.
My GP's name is Dr Die.

In reply to Chive Talkin\':

My sister's dentist is Mr Kneebone - always thought he was in the wrong profession.

Where I used to work, Miss Lamb was sat between Mr Hunter and Mr Butcher - probably wasn't going to end well for her.

In reply to LastBoyScout:


Spit roast lamb anyone?

In reply to Chive Talkin\':

I work with a colleague whose name is Tin Tin

In reply to Chive Talkin\':

Quite a few years ago in a previous job working in reception in a hotel, I came onto my shift to see, on my list of arrivals, a Mr Crapper was expected. Subsequently a rather harassed looking gentleman walked in, who I knew, before he introduced himself, was bound to be himself. He looked as though he'd had a lifetime of speaking his name and being met with either smirks, laughter or disbelief.

He told me he had a reservation and then spoke his surname before I even asked. Of course I'd had time to steady myself so I simply did the professional welcome routine as if he was plain Mr Smith. He began to fill in his reservation card then looked up as if something wasn't quite right. "People usually laugh when I say my name," he declared.

In reply to Chive Talkin\':

Over the years I've encountered a few of these ...

In a large Amercian bank I worked for there was:

Prince Philip in our Mumbai site

Randy Bumgardener in an Ohio branch

When I worked for a large Californian networking company there was:

Fern Leaf

David David

And my aunt once did have a patient at her GP surgery called Annette Curtain.

In reply to Duncan Bourne:



I'm jealous.

My previous employer had a number of offices in the Far East. It's quite usual for locals in places like Taiwan and South Korea who work for companies headquartered in Europe or the US to choose a Western first name for work purposes, to make things easier for their overseas colleagues. We were delighted to find that Mr Pan had picked the name Peter when he joined our company - especially since we already had a Wendy working the same office.

My Dad swears that the maths text book he used at school was written by one Seymour Legge. (This was pre-WWII: I think in those days you just kept quite about such things, on the grounds that finding it funny said more about you than it did about the person concerned, or their parents.)

At the risk of being accused of spreading another urban legend, a friend of ours who is an obstetric nurse insists that this actually happened to her. According to her a conversation with one new mother went something like this:
"Have you chosen a name for your new baby daughter yet?"
"Yes, we've decided to call her Femally."
"Er...that's an unusual name."
"Yes, we saw it on the chart for one of the other babies in the unit and we really liked it."
"How do spell it?"
"F-E-M-A-L-E."
IIRC this was supposed to have occurred in a hospital somewhere in Fife. (Or maybe I did just make that bit up.)

In a similar vein - and this happened to my Mum one time when she was supervising a student doing teaching practice in a school in one of the Erewash Valley towns - was the little boy who told her that his name was "Gooey". Spelled G-U-Y.

In reply to Postmanpat:


I had a colleague of that name many years ago. Unfortunately we worked in different offices and we only ever spoke on the phone - we never had occasion to meet face to face. If he'd ever come to our office I would, of course, had taken great pleasure in greeting him with the words: "Ah, Mr Bond, we've been expecting you."

Just remembered another one: my other half is a dental nurse, and a one point in her career she worked with a dentist named Andrew Peacock. He preferred to be called "Drew". (I believe he still has a dental practice in Leith.)

In reply to Martin W:
A person called Zebidee briefly worked for my Dad, he liked to be known as Zeb.

It was funny to hear of people saying 'boing boing' in reference to him if he wasn't there when learning his name.

In reply to Timmd:


That wasn't me.

In reply to zebidee:

boing boing

In reply to Chive Talkin\':

I used to have a boss called CJ. Sadly, he didn't have a whoopee cushion.

He did say "I didn't get where I am today" quite a lot, though.

In reply to zebidee:

I think there's a few Zebidees around? There's a 'Zeb' radio person on Radio 4.

In reply to Chive Talkin\':

I knew a guy called Bobby Kerr -- called his son Wayne -- who never forgave him!

In reply to Timmd:


Yeah - I've been using it on the Internet since Cheeseplant's House back in '91 ... so I reckon I'm one of the first :-P

In reply to Rylstone_Cowboy:


That'd be the family from Castle Howard.
jk

In reply to Chive Talkin\':

Once upon a time I worked on the NHS chlamydia and gonorrhoea screening programme receiving swabs and urine in the post from teenagers and young adults.

It never failed to amaze me how many Batman's, Robin's, Supermans, Dale Winton's, Virgin Waters etc there were in the UK.

In reply to blurty:

I actually used to teach a lad called Piers Mycock, seriously! WTF were his parents thinking?
Oh yes, and I also taught another called Andrew Ankers, and he was a complet one.

In reply to Chive Talkin\':

I was at uni with the now Dr Crutchlow and the more surreal Dr Anant, and will be lecturing in the De'ath Theatre this afternoon.

I also have a colleague called Dr Love (ENT) and the even more splendid urology trainee (i.e a man accustomed to the tickling of prostates professionally) called Dr Manmeet Singh.

When he gets his surgical exams he'll be back to Mr Manmeet Singh.... which is probably even better

b

In reply to Martin W:

My Mum used to run the baby clinic at a GP practice - she met some odd-named children.

There is a child (probably teenager now) running around somewhere with the name Starburst - as, apparently, that's what his mother could see in front of her eyes while giving birth.

In reply to Chive Talkin\':

I worked with a guy called Ben Gotobed many years ago.

there are some funny names of people on bloomberg. here is a list of some of the best..

http://wallstreetjackass.typepad.com/raptureready/2008/01/top-25-bloomber.h...

In reply to Chive Talkin\':

A long time ago when I was working back in the US, we had a customer called Heath Row. It was on his credit card, so it must've been true.

My Classics professor was called Rex which I thought was a neat coincidence, now I wonder if he was just making it up.

In reply to Martin W:

By a bizarre turn of fate, one of my colleagues has just posted up on a certain social media site a newspaper cutting from WW2 referring to an Honourable Member of Parliament named Mr Seymour Cocks

In reply to wercat:


And the lecturer at Liverpool University called Richard Head.

In reply to Chive Talkin\':

This guy is not happy;

https://www.instagram.com/p/BQfrLfyAHnf/

Poss NSFW.

In reply to Chive Talkin\':

I got interviewed by a Tomás de Torquemada.
I wasn't expecting that!

In reply to Chive Talkin\':

There was a manager at Debenhams in Aberdeen called James Bond.

My husband had Paul Newman as best man at our wedding. And Paul Newman used to work in a bar with Simon Bates.

In reply to Pekkie:

come to think of it, when I had my first ski trip I ended up trying to do snowploughs on glazed ice in a ski school group in austria that turned out to have the entire Oxford boat race crew, what a laugh! There was a grey haired German couple called Schmidt and hubby was called Helmut

In reply to balmybaldwin:


Let me guess - you work at Allianz in Guildford. My No 2 son also deals with Pooja Pant.

Pooja Pant's existence is thus either corroborated or you're really my son stalking me on UKC!


My sister in law was at University in Florida where she knew a certain Duane Pipe, whose name was unremarkable as the thing is a Down Pipe there. He didn't understand why she kept giggling.

I worked with a Vinny Jones a while ago

In reply to Chive Talkin\':

Have we done Bishop Cocksworth? Even more amusing given the context.

http://www.bbc.com/news/uk-38994125

In reply to Chive Talkin\':

I came across a Randy Bush once. As it were

Along the same corridor, Dale Orefice :-o

I don't think there is anything wrong with Octavia as a name. It's been around for a long time.

In reply to Chive Talkin\':

Randy Angel used to work here, and I dealt with someone overemail called Pinky Judge or Judge Pinky, I could never work out which way round it was.

In reply to Chive Talkin\':

I had a Merlin in my scouts - his dad is a twitcher.

In reply to Chive Talkin\':

Just remembered another one: at one time I had a Scandinavian colleague called Bengt Persson. Looks innocuous enough written down, but used to raise a titter or two when spoken aloud.

In reply to Chive Talkin\':

My friend was a nurse and she had a man in for haemorrhoids. His name was Ivor Pile.

My schoolfriend's nephew was called Neil Armstrong and when the moon landing happened, the toddler made it to the front page of the Yorkshire Evening Post.

All the men I have ever known with "Bot" as the first part of the surname have been called Nick, e.g. Nick Botting, Nick Botsaris etc