In reply to broken spectre:
Primula cheese in a squirty tube works pretty well with any kind of delivery medium (Scottish oatcakes, crispbread, bits of bread, etc). And you can also squirt it straight into your mouth if so inclined. I wouldn't trust it for longer than a day though, except in cold weather.
Tartrex veg pate is tasty and lasts several days. The metal foil tubes are kind of heavy though.
Holland and Barrat sell vegetarian pepperoni that are indestructible and long lasting. They taste ok if you're hungry enough, in the same way that a pot noodle tastes ok if you're hungry enough.
Oh, and dried banana chips.