In reply to Removed User:
> If you're not a parent you have only experienced one side of the situation. Valid experience of course , but not complete.
What's inarguable, is that smacking isn't any way developmentally beneficial. It might, in some cases, be close to harmless (or in some fortunate cases actually harmless), but in others it can contribute either to anxiety or aggression, and to depression in children too. So, while smacking might be 'understandable', it doesn't make it 'justifiable' in the sense of, smacking is a good thing because it achieves XY and Z. It is never a 'good' thing. There are psychology studies which outline how it's a harmful thing, but none which put smacking in a positive light, which show it has benefits to the well being of children.
> I remember a friend of mine with 6 children who adored him explaining this to me years ago. You can send the child to their room while you "decide" what to do for example, then explain to them exactly what they have done wrong and why it is bad enough for you to punish them, generally by that time the child will be close to tears and little more than token slap on the bum is enough. No doubt we've all seen the opposite where a parent loses it with a child, screams insults at them and then batters them. That's when a parent loses respect and authority in the eyes of a child.
I get the sense that you think some kind of smack, if it's just a token one, is okay? I definitely don't agree, mainly because I think being smacked made me anxious, and (almost equally) because one of my parents managed to discipline me just fine by just raising their voice, too. The bond has always been strong enough, and precious enough, that smacking from them was never something which happened, or needed to .
> Not all parents are interested in psychology, not all parents exercise great self control either all of the time or some of the time.
Which is sad for their children...
Post edited at 21:40