UKC

Sped read this article.

Most people enter a mountain environment for escape, ego, danger, to prove themselves, addiction, fun, personal development, they don't often think " People will/might die" Even the best of us, you, pro's - Uli Steck for instance. If you did, you, they would not step foot onto a difficult climb. Do a risk assessment on- 1) trusting equipment, 2) ropes 3) Overall competency  4) Fitness 5 ) Weather - LOL. Anyone can still make a mistake, anyone. Lawsuit will probably follow.

Death is an issue people in this country have serious taboo about. Did you know that only 25% of relatives who visit their family in Intensive care/critical units in NHS wards when their loved ones are dying ever discuss end of life, funeral and dying. They don't think about it.  Only 25 %. Why?

 

In reply to The Ice Doctor:

You don't half talk some shite. 

In reply to The Ice Doctor:

First, about "They don't think about it", how do you know that? I doubt that. I did when I was visiting. Second, about "only 25% of relatives who visit their family ... ever discuss end of life, funeral and dying ... Why?", you said it yourself, it's a taboo [forbidden / restricted] subject in the UK - here's an article I thought quite good on the topic of "Why?":

http://www.bbc.co.uk/guides/zsy34j6

In reply to The Ice Doctor:

What we need to talk about was your mental state when drafting this post - seems rather confused ! Were you tired, depressed or under the influence ??

In reply to The Ice Doctor:

I have Frank on the phone. He says he'd like to talk to you.

In reply to aln:

Go visit a hospital ward. The statistics are on the intensive care ward for all to see. Perhaps I worded the posting clumsily.

Revise the statistic - 1/3 talk about it. I just read the BBC article. Thanks to whoever posted it.

As for my mental health, few of you on here have ever given a damn about it and I wont air my feelings on this forum where the personal attacks are constant. Note- I've been bullied all my life. Nothing changes. You go and climb, have fun, go enjoy yourselves. Sadly I've always been the outsider- some people are simply built that way. Society can do that to people. It can easily destroy people, but I would not expect you to understand. I'm not seeking sympathy, simply stating personal experiences and facts.

 

In reply to The Ice Doctor:

Sound advice.

I certainly am. That isn't necessarily a bad thing, you just need to find your place in life.

Society isn't some malignant, all-pervading force. It's just people. It's how you interact with it and perceive it that causes the pain.

In reply to The Ice Doctor:

The forum can often be quite robust but if you do a search for mental health threads on here you'll find that when someone asks for help or advice, (and one of your taunters on here has in the past), the best side of people is in no short supply when it comes to replies. 

In reply to The Ice Doctor:

I think we all take a sideways glance at death at various times, and especially as we get older. It’s there, constantly, just over our shoulders. Certain events make it more of a conscious thing than others.

Is it taboo? Not sure. Perhaps people just don’t want to be reminded of their own mortality.

I’ve always been frank about it, with the kids too. No point turning it into something to be terrified of.

 

UKC is a funny old community. I’ve seen some horrendous posts and comments - really nasty stuff. I’ve also seen a lot of humanity too. Regulars on here may rarely meet face to face but often the names and characters become well known. I don’t know you, but you are part of this mutual community we have. Hang in there.

In reply to The Ice Doctor:

For lots of people in end of life care in the UK, that death is coming has long been signposted, it's not a surprise and the fact that time is short is often a spur to dwell on happier times rather than the obvious. As to attending clinicians, in most cases their relationship with the patient is brief and by it's nature transient. It is sometimes hard to broach such topics without knowing what reaction you might provoke and whether you'll have the opportunity to deal with the emotional repercussions. 

I've taken the piss in response to some of your posts. I sincerely hope this hasn't come across as bullying. I'm quite merciless in teasing my mates in real life, this is undoubtedly irritating at times and hopefully mildly amusing at others, not much of an excuse but it's just how I am. I've also written how much I enjoy your posts. You have a unique and valuable voice on here. It might be quirky and it might occasionally get people's backs up but those qualities are what make your posts stand out. I'd hate to live in a world where we all marched in step.

You might feel the eternal outsider and UKC is hardly a 'real' community but you're very much part of the scene on here. 

In reply to The Ice Doctor: Along the lines of being an outsider, the wisdom behind this quote from Will Smith suddenly struck me while in bed a couple of nights ago, being that if one chases people, one's own 'more authentic life' isn't being lived, while their's potentially are, where as if one is doing what really makes one happy, in terms of hobbies and career and what have you, the people one comes across (so long as one connects with them and has something in common) will more naturally have a place in one's life. 

''Don't chase people. Be yourself, do your own thing and work hard. The right people - the ones who really belong in your life - will come to you. And stay.''

Having lost a parent who was 66 when I was 33, and nearly lost my life a couple of times in cycling accidents (my rear wheel being dented by a bus was thought provoking), I guess I've thought about death, and talked about it with family too in the first instance. In the end, we just need to wring the most amount of living out of life as we can before the inevitable happens, and for some that's climbing mountains. There's a lot to be said about death, but none of us really know how to grasp it's significance I reckon.  When a famous French mountain guide and prolific mountaineer died a few years ago (doing an 'enchainment' of summits in France IIRC), a woman who knew him very well said that he was one of the few mountaineers she'd met who climbed mountains simply from a genuine enjoyment of their beauty, rather than from having some demon lurking within which they were keeping at bay through being in the mountains.  Perhaps a certain amount of therapy and/or self awareness through introspection could be key for a life lived most fully, in terms of being at peace as well as doing things too*?

 

*Fulfillment could seem to come from a mixture of the two.