UKC

In the text and forum world of today you can save yourself a lot of time by using acronyms. Why, IMHO, write out a whole phrase when a few letters would do? FFS, it's obvious, innit? There seems no reason why we can't extend this idea for talking aloud. Don't waste time and risk confusion at the crag when you can shout a nice pithy acronym and save your breath. UKC is full of clever and witty people (AFAIK), so feel free to post up your offerings.

IHNGPFT - I Hope Nobody Got Paid For This

tldr

Most amusing. And delighted to see David Hume is back from the dead, and rather than writing sceptical philosophy is gracing us with these witty insights.

LBOIDH - (pron. LeBoid): Log Book or it Didn't Happen

Should have waited four days before posting  

Yeah, I thought that too. 

The acronyms remind me somewhat of Welsh or maori when trying to read it. 

WALOS.

BOLD

(Belay on, leader dead).

Isn't "OK" the answer to absolutely anything while belaying?

"........what!?"

IODINE – I’m Off Dear I Need ‘Elp

BATTERY – Be Aware To Tighten Every Runner Youth

BIG SMILE – Beware I’m Going South Me I’m Losing Everything

FOKKER – Falling Off Keep Krabs Every Runner

TART - Take All Rope Tighter

PARTY - Pull All Rope Tight Youth

Nice one. These are actual acronyms. The others are acrostics: an acronym has to spell a real word.

Thanks! clever me [accidentally]

Here's another:

BREXIT – Belayer, Reliably Engage X-rays In Time

How about  BREXIT: Belays rarely exist on extremely inferior turf?

Actually, I had one I always used (seriously) from very early in my climbing - I even mention it in my Fiva book: LLLL. A way of reminding myself of the essentials for climbing well when leading - at least, what worked for me. They're also in a rough order of priority, or in the order you do them. Light: lightness of touch, on both feet and hands/arms. As light as possible, treat it all delicately cn brute force. Look: really look for all the holds; don't just assume and rush. Lean: a sort of vague reminder to be imaginative with your body position. Not just 'straight up and down' but, typically, leaning sideways a lot, or facing sideways, or leaning out with the upper body, etc, etc. Finally, Laugh. For me the most important final stage in the process. The thing's meant to be fun: relax, and stick a grin on your face, even if you don't feel like it. Quite extraordinary how that worked for me. Relax your face and the whole body relaxes ...

The 4 L's are great - have to use them next time! 

One to work out:

Disaster Awaits Would-be Experts Sallying Rashly Onto Uncharted Terror-inducing Extreme Slabs ...

One thing I like about it is it's incredibly easy to remember, not as four Ls, but as 'Light, Look, Lean, Laugh.' Something to do with the changing vowel sounds.

I don’t often say this as most of the articles these days are good or excellent but this one is pretty awful. It’s not funny or witty, just totally random and pointless. Didn’t even bother reading the list to the end. 

How can they be in an order of priority if it’s four Ls? Or, rather, how do the four Ls remind you of the right order?

This thread is about 10 times better than the article. 

I just said above that I don't remember it as 4 Ls; I remember it as four words Light, Look, Lean, Laugh, and said that I found that remarkably easy to remember. I think you must have missed my post of 14:51.

Edit to add ... because obviously you missed it.

I tend to agree with you and the other critics, and its my doing. Sorry to have wasted any of your time. It seemed a good idea a while ago when I was fed up googling the meanings of the acrostics/acronyms on the forums, but it should have been strangled at birth. Still, two worthwhile charities will benefit. I'll stick to philosophy in future.

I don't agree. I enjoy light-hearted and/or humorous articles and I enjoyed this one

DGUTDJ

On a serious note, does anyone know an acronym, abbreviation, memnomic, rhyme or similar for the pre-flight check: knot, harness (buckle) for the leader; anchor, belay device, screwgate for the belayer ? 

You said it yourself - KBABS

IDEAS can be used to remember the individual elements that make a safe anchor.

Independent, Directional, Equalised, Angle and Safe (final check).

I was also once told "check or deck" when checking my harness & tie in knot.

I really like "check or deck" - it's simple, it rhymes, it's binary, and it covers crucial safety points

It could be used for single-point abseils too.... you get just one shot with them and had better get it right (Signed, profitofdoom, survivor of an abseiling accident I don't like to talk about)

It was once said on a previous UKC article "It takes less time to check the abseil anchor again than to recover in hospital" - Check or deck is perhaps even more appropriate for abseiling.

It's certainly a good one for abseil points, I agree. Thanks