UKC

When I used to live in NZ, there were these brilliant bars called One Square Meals (OSM)... and I'm sure they are still going strong. Basically a brick of stodge with all the calories, protein etc you'd need from a basic meal - albeit probably not based on your average climber/hillwalker. Anyway, these were great for expeditions - just wondering is there a UK version of these?

And no, Clif bars do not even get close.

Yeah-here they are called Greggs.

Greggs is our premium version. Try pound bakery if you're on a budget. 

Many moons ago I used to always have a MetRx Colossal bar at the bottom of my bag. Massive lump of a bar that'd keep you going. Not sure what your nutritional requirements are but worth a look if you want a lot of calories in a bar form.

ebay: emergency food

Lots to choose from there. Datrex might fit your needs, though I've not tried them.

Kendal Mint Cake (KMC). Scientifically proven to provide all the sugars, carbohydrates, syrup and mint that your body needs. 

And you don’t need to brush your teeth this afterwards...

...because they will have just fallen out ..

I'm with you - exactly the same, used these a fair bit while tramping in NZ and nothing comes close since coming back.  They so impressed a visiting mate he looked into the possibility of importing them for sale but he couldn't make it work for some reason I forget.

For those wondering what it's all about: https://www.osm.nz

Remarkably good and palatable.

b

But alas, they are absolutely vile! 

Didn't Aleister Crowley, aka The Great Beast, 666, The Wickedest Man in the World, etc, etc, used to get specially made up Kendal Mint Cake - with opium!  (Yes folks, this is most definitely not one to try at home...) 

Mad, bad and dangerous to know. Mind you, he did noteworthy FAs at such diverse venues as Napes Needle and Beachy Head. And mercilessly took the piss out of the establishment of his day. So he had some redeeming qualities.

Mick

Be careful if tempted to eat an entire bar of Kendal Mint Cake or any other energy bar based on sugar and corn syrup; the combination is pretty devastating once it absorbs some liquid in your gut... 

I'll have to take your word for that Mick. Your knowledge of Climbing History is way beyond that of most of us; besides, I can't remember what I had for breakfast!?

And no, it wasn't Kendal Mint Cake!

Look nice. But, being a numbers geek, I'd like to see the actual nutritional value figures; couldn't find them on the site, other than the 'two bars is 1/3 of your daily nutritional requirement'...

Just don't search for OSM on Amazon uk.

I miss these so much, the things I'd do for a Cranberry OSM

I don't understand the love for OSM - I lived in NZ for 12 years, and while I ate OSM's, I never thought they were anything to get too excited about.   I honestly though the packaging/name was the cleverest thing about them. 

When they first came out - 2006? or so some reporter tried to eat 3 OSMs/day for a week, (back when apricot was the only flavour). Let's just say I bet he won't be hankering after another OSM ever again. 

Have you guys tried ProBar Meal bars? I thought they were better than OSMs.

You could probably say that for any foodstuff eaten three times a day, exclusively, for a week...

Except for samosas... 

Yeah they must have come out in 2005 or 2006. I started an outdoor education degree around then and they were our go-to bars. I never ate them in exclusivity, more as a quick breakfast or lunch snack, supplemented with some chorizo or other densely packed products. In fairness I didn't much take to the taste (although the cranberry variation above sounds good) but they were just so good as instant stodge.

Will look up those ProBar things though

Does that mean we're supposed to try it in the mountains then Mick

Would think it tastes disgusting - but then AC did have disgusting tastes!  Used to quite like (normal) Kendal Mint Cake, as a nipper, along with jam snow.

If I don't see you before you head off for those big snowy hills, good luck - and be safe!

The late Roger Baxter-Jones had three priorities for expeditions (most important first): "Come back. Come back friends. Top out."  So much wisdom in just seven words.

All best wishes,

Mick

Has anyone tried HUEL? I think they now do bars along a simlarly "nutritionally complete" vein.