UKC

The day came this morning which I have been dreading for months.

My dear old rescue cat, Pepsi, c20 yrs has been suffering for a few months. Always a sprightly cat, she was diagnosed with cancer in Dec and given a few months to live. She's been with us since about 6 months old.

Whilst increasingly frail, she was eating and drinking well but yesterday she developed swollen legs and was totally off her food, was struggling to breathe and didn't look well. 

Took her to the vet this morning and she said that the cancer was large, she had no red blood cells, high heart rate and that whilst she could have treated her temporarily, she said it would be in her best interests to give her rest now.

Holding her whilst she took her last breaths and went from being awake to being floppy was utterly heart breaking. Bringing her home to the family and seeing her bed and food half eaten was even worse.

I know it will get better soon but not having her squeak at me for breakfast and tea will be difficult for a few weeks, I'm sure. 

Who would have thought a cat could make you feel like this.

You have my deepest sympathy.

Even little pets get you. We got a couple of budgies a few years ago. I was cooking tea last night and somehow an oven liner got pushed to the back of the oven and charred. This has Teflon in it, the fumes of which apparently are highly toxic to small birds. One died in front of my eyes, then the other a minute later. It's the quietness rather than telling the noisy things to shut up....

They become part of your world. My 8 year old bearded dragon died of cancer in my and my sister's hands... he was fighting it for a long while bur he deteriorated super fast and went from a muted version of himself to not being there in a matter of a couple of hours... This was during the first lockdown as well, so had it happened before bubbles were allowed would have been even more difficult as we no longer live together. I can only imagine what it would be like after 20 years and with a mammal...

Sorry to hear this DB.

It is perfectly understandable that you should feel this way. Pets are part of the family.

And you did the right thing.

Dave

Poignant. Currently our big lad is digging a hole, separating himself from his 'pack' (the family) as his primevil instinct (he's a Ridgeback). He has been poorly for a while and we've nursed him. But just about to go now with him on the longest ride - the the vet. Gut-wrenching.

Above all, I really empathise with what you have been through/going through.

Losing a pet is really tough, while you may not find solace in it now, 20 years for a cat is extremely good innings, my childhood cat went for around 18 and in my case she was around longer than most friends I had at the time. I'm glad you were able to be with her while she went to sleep though, one of my friends had to have their dog (had 12 years from a puppy) put down a couple weeks ago and they weren't allowed to be in the room when it happened for COVID reasons which I can't even begin to imagine how hard that would have been for them.

I feel your pain. I've had cats since I was young but had a short-haired oriental for 5 years that died prematurely last year from a kidney problem. He was an enormous character and locally famous playing with kids, talking to everyone and anyone at length and made me laugh out loud every single day. I was hugely affected by his death - much more than I thought I could be even for a much loved pet  - and it may well have had something to do with losing my dad the same year but I'm no psychologist. Only just starting to get over it really. 

It really is a gut wrenching feeling. Sorry for your loss.

I posted a similar thing on here about a year ago about my dog, it is always comforting to hear from all the other animal lovers out there.

I'm so sorry. Losing a pet is devastating and the implications of making 'that decision' for them brings with it all kinds of conflicting emotions. You did the kindest thing, especially holding her at the end. I have a dog who's nearly 14 and I know time is limited with her now. Try to think about the happiness of having Pepsi in your life and that she had a good and contented life because you gave her a home.

Absolutely. Really feel for you. Had to put our 13-yr-old cat down about a month ago; it is a bereavement, because they are part of the family. And because they are there with you every day, you feel it keenly. I really mourned our cat, still do - still expect to see him in his favourite places. The worst thing was having to decide when to take him to the vets for his final journey; he was struggling to eat but still OK, but I took the view that it should be before he really started to suffer. Having to let the kids give him one last hug before he went, still makes me well up. 

Snap. My dad died on Dec 18th 2020, two days after my birthday. Your cat sounds awesome.

Thanks for the words, folks. It's actually helped to know is normal and OK to feel like this but jeez, it's painful.

You love them. Nothing more to say.

I think the stresses of covid have warped and magnified the pain of pet loss? Our Charlie died just before the start of the pandemic and his sister two years ago. Both cats 19/20 and very much missed. Anyone who says cats don't have personalies is wrong. I was listening to a poem about a dead cat on Radio 4 last year and that made me cry.

It's awful.

My lab mix thing is 4 now and it's hard not to project forward 10-11 years and think about his loss and it's impact on my now 5 year old daughter and 1 year old twins.

We had a cat who was like him, very much part of the family, very affectionate, and he escaped one day never to be seen again and that was a hard loss too. But we also have his brother still and he's more of a lodger. 

But they were all rescues so the solace is the life we give them that they wouldn't have necessarily had. My lab was picked up out a kill shelter shortly before he was due to be euthanized.

It's just awful - you have my sympathy.  It's usually best to help them on their way - we have friends who make their pets stagger on until the bitter end and it's ghastly.  You know when your mate's course is run and it's the last decent thing that you can do for them. 

Really sorry to hear that. When my last dog died the grief was surprising, far more than when I lost my parents, which is bizarre when you look at it objectively.

The only think I can suggest is to look at the fantastic life you and your family gave her, and all the fun she brought into your lives. She had a fantastic innings at nearly 20 years old.

Take care of yourself and family.

I sat holding my wonderful border collie as he was put to sleep.  I left him in his bed so my wife and girls could say goodbye and give him a last stroke before we buried him in the newly named Pipnic spot in the garden where he used to love keeping us company during BBQs and eating the odd sausage.

We miss him dreadfully and always will (being a collie he was more dependant flat mate than pet), but will never forget him. I’m glad my girls got to say goodbye, feel sad but then always celebrate that we had him.  We’ve lost a few people this last year and I’m glad we shared all their lives, I think Pip helped the girls feel sad but focus on the wonderful!

So sorry that the string in the sky finally beckoned!

Toby

Lots and lots of sympathy for you. We lost 3 cats over 3 years, all up there between 18 and 23. What got me through it was knowing we gave them a great and happy life and they were happy and content to the end. I'm sure your cat was the same. 

They're amazing little emotional projector screens are cats. The amount of joys and woes, little and big, we share with them and it's no wonder they get their metaphorical claws in just as much as their real ones.

It was a real kindness you did by being there at the end.

I felt it when a friend's dog died, who had been 'someone cool to chill with' when my head wasn't right at the time, a friendly and intelligent border collie, I can only imagine what it's like with a pet of 20 years.

All Pepsi would have known was your love and companionship of 20 years, which is a lovely thing.

Best wishes.

Lots of sympathy pal. These pets are very much part of the family. I'm sure you gave your cat a very good life.

Take care.

M

Very sorry to hear that DB. I know what it's like.

It reminds me of when I lost my cat to cancer. My wife bought her when I was going through a bad mental crisis, and I'm pretty sure my recovery was partly due to the presence of this little creature. I was beside myself with grief when she had to be put to rest. 

Wishing you strength and fortitude to get through what must be a horrible time. 

As an aside, it’s heartwarming to see UKC at its very best on this thread, collectively supporting a fellow climber during tough times.

Take care.  

Awful, awful awful.  Nothing compares to it.  My dog was very old and it was clear that she wasn't really enjoying life anymore, so we took her to the vets to be put to sleep, then brought her home to bury her.  That's probably about 15 years ago and I still fill up when I think about it.  

Blurry screen now.

Someone posted this photo a couple of years ago (either on here or on facebook) and it made me me smile and cry at the same time.  I've tracked a copy down.  It's the first one if your scroll down a little bit.  I hope you don't mind me posting it.

https://www.demilked.com/pet-dog-comics-hey-buddy-comics/

Take it easy pal.  Think nice thoughts.

This is just last night with them both wanting some lamb. Dear god, this is terrible.

Best wishes. 

Gosh poor you.  So sorry to hear you are going through that terrible time. Best wishes. 

You have my greatest sympathies. They are part of the family! We lost one of  our guinea pigs a wee while ago. She got very ill and we tried everything with the vets and the hospital, but eventually she just died. It was a very sad occasion. She was a very athletic guinea pig entertaining us by running up and down the stairs, squeaking for food, nibbling your fingers etc  and she was a beautiful and loving animal. We had a right good cry when we buried her in the garden. No matter how small - cat, dog, guinea pig they are part of the gang! xx

Totally understandable.  We had a cat from before I was born until I was a teenager, was beside myself with grief when we had to say goodbye.

We have a dog who is only four but I'm already dreading the day that we have to say goodbye to her.

But then I think that's part of the reason why we love our pets so much.  They live out the story of their little lives in fast forward right in front of our eyes, turning from a infant to a wise old beast in just a few years.  Next thing we know they're going grey and their eyesight is failing, whereas we've barely changed at all.

And that's why we love then so much, they are a part of their lives, but we are all of theirs.  I'm sorry that you've lost your little friend but it sounds to me like you gave her the best of a life.

Your Pepsi is a dead ringer for our old Lottie. An 'unremarkable' tabby and white moggie but very special and unique. Like her, our cats just stopped eating and that was it. It's almost like their way to say enough is enough? You've done the right thing but it's depressing and upsetting all the same.

I'm not sure giving this a 'like' was quite right but, having been there, I completely sympathise with how upsetting this is. 

I feel your sadness. We had to say goodbye to 'White Cat' in October, one of the four farm cats at Chez Arran in the French Pyrenees. Only a tatty old farm moggie but he adopted us when we first visited there nine years ago, and whenever we stopped there, which was often, he was straight indoors for treats, tickles and nights indoors.

Fifteen years was a great innings for a cat that live outdoors for most of his life, but I'm still so sad seven months on

Chris

Pets, we grieve for them because they become family, and have a type of loyalty unique to only them.

My sympathies for your loss.

I remember taking my 24 year old cat (who I'd had since I was a child) to the vets after he'd lost a lot of weight and was off his food. He'd been diagnosed with a hyperactive thyroid and had been on tablets for a year or two, but it turned out to have been stomach cancer. I was with him when the vet put him down and I remember literally howling in the car on the way home as my girlfriend drove us home.

Pets find a way to wrap themselves around our hearts.

Thank you UKC, you have been truly wonderful. Ive read every post at least 5 times and it has helped. Its taken me a bit by surprise how upset Ive been. 

Pepsi is in the raised bed in a shady spot where she'd sleep  all day on a hot day. Ive raised a glass for her and given her a bit too, with some tears and said goodnight.

Ive just lit a fire (justifiably in mid April) and waited for her to barge through before the kindling is finished and to sit staring at the heat from 10cm away before her face gets too hot and she has to move away. She didn't come of course but it was nice to imagine it.

Night folks. UKC is challenging at times but sometimes is a great room full of friendly strangers, which I needed today.

Thank you.

I am sorry for your loss, truely. 😥

Really sorry for you. It’s awful. I remember when my dog was put to sleep. It was a real effort keeping things together for a while. I can look back on it now and remember his happy life and laugh at some of the memories, but it takes time. 
Good luck.

I had to have a 10 year old pet snake put down a year or so ago. That was difficult, and he (she? never even knew) was basically one step up from an ornament. Losing a pet is hard.

I'm so sorry. I really do sympathise. You've done the best thing by her as I'm sure you know. Pets give you unconditional love and that's what makes it so hard.

 I felt physically ill after we had to have our dog put to sleep. It took me a long time to get over. I felt so awful I went to the GP who sympathised but said I was having an 'acute stress reaction' to the grief of losing her and I would just have to get through it, maybe talking to someone if I wanted to. He said the first 6-8 weeks were the worst. I still miss her and have photos of her everywhere and like to say 'Remember when...?' to my husband about what she used to get up to. She was my dog really but it was one of the very few times I've seen him cry.

She was ancient but physically healthy (very strong heart and lungs, some kidney disease managed by diet, still very mobile) but a form of dog dementia slowly got her and I wrestled with the decision of when the time was right more than any other pet I've ever had. In the end I decided to do the decent thing before she got too bad rather than after and she went munching on roast beef in her bed. She had a huge hatred of the vet so we got a different vet she'd never met before to come to our house.

I've never owned a pet in my adult life, but your post and the other very moving ones in this thread have got me sobbing on to my keyboard.

Condolences and best wishes. 

My dog is starting to go down hill. Arthritis in the back end means she can't walk very far and is increasingly prone to falling down when her legs go. She's still happy though and doesn't seem to be in pain, although I have started giving her a bit of painkiller. I've had her since she was 6 weeks old and she's 13 this week. 

It's weighing heavily on my mind, but I think she'll tell me when it's time to go. In the meantime it's lots of fuss cuddles. 

Sorry for your loss DB x

I feel for you. We had to put ours down last month - throat tumour. He was only seven. It's strange how they inhabit every corner of the house. Still think I see him out of the corner of my eye. 

I still call out for my last dog sometimes. I've another dog now but sometimes half way through a run I'll stop and call out her name.