UKC

So this is the first that I've tried to look into this but over the years I've been a strong believer in self confidence and self belief.

Since last year ticking my hardest route (sport) I've not been 100% right in the head. (Not that I ever was) I carried on climbing up until this summer where home life took over a little and I decided to stop. Now trying to get back into it I'm finding myself feeling so down every time I go to a wall and if I do have a good session it's not long on the drive home I start to feel down again. Maybe it's not having a goal or the stop start of it all I'm not sure. 

I've had thoughts of just chucking in the towel and just stopping but the guilt of that is way too much to even consider. I've been climbing for a out 17 years now and pretty much every weekend getting out with the occasional brakes here and there. I'm currently sat in a climbing wall and look around at people who are loving it and I see myself trying really hard to remember the days of starting out and just being 100% hooked.

Sorry about any spelling or grammar this isn't my thing.

Has anyone else gone through this and had any help or ideas to get the full love for it back again.

Obviously there is the just go out and enjoy ya self comments on there way but it's not that simple.

Just to clarify, is this feeling depressed in general or 'just' a climbing-related thing?

If the latter, I wonder if this is a similar sort of empty, lost feeling Dave MacLeod has talked about experiencing after climbing Rhapsody. It could be that you're someone who needs a goal to work towards, whether climbing or another activity. Alternatively you may have lost the psyche for climbing in general for which giving it a rest and looking at doing something else entirely may be the answer.   

From what you say, it's unclear if this is a clinical effect or being 'stuck in a rut'.

I've had a friend in the first category but they suffered in silence - they never talked about it.  If that sounds familiar, then consider talking it through it with friends and family.  They will be more supportive than you could ever wish for.

If you think you might fit into the second category, i'd suggest talking a break from climbing for a while.  I've drifted off into paragliding, powered flying and caving at various points.  It helps sustain interest even though your climbing standard will take a bit of a hit.  In the end, I've always come back to climbing - there's nothing to beat those shared adventures.

I hope you pull through, one way or another.

Dave

Ask yourself some honest questions about what it was you enjoyed about climbing; was it grade progression, tick lists, the enjoyment of movement, being with mates, etc?

If it was grade progression, and you think you are now stuck, maybe try to think about some of the other enjoyable aspects, and concentrate on those.

How does that enjoyment fit in with your opening comment about self-confidence and self-belief?

That's assuming it is simply disillusion with climbing, and not clinical depression.

I have been through something similar, having ticked some hard things and then losing some form through injury and putting on a bit of weight, such that I fell quite a bit below my previous level. This was combined with family and work stuff causing additional stress. I did actually give up for a months. For me, what helped get my mojo back was moving house and being able to visit lots of new crags, which meant there was new stuff for me to get psyched about even though I was still climbing below my best. Obviously moving house isn't a common thing to do, but if you have the option to visit some new areas it might be a way to get excited about it again despite not having the difficulty goal you had before.

Sort of also related. Having been through the above, a couple of years later I'm now climbing outside a lot less and feeling less psyched than I did for many years because I've found it impossible to keep up climbing and training since we had a second child. I beat myself up trying to keep training for the first few months but my energy was too low, I never got anything decent done and it was becoming more stress than fun. I've basically now just reappraised my relationship with the sport. I take my eldest to the wall once a week, just try to enjoy climbing there and occasionally I still get the odd session outside, maybe once every 1-2 months. Sometimes I feel like I really need to lose some weight and get back on the training wagon again, but I'm struggling to convince myself that it is worth it. I suppose what I'm trying to express here is that if you are finding it depressing to keep doing what you're doing, you could still try to see climbing differently and take the pressure off yourself for a while. This doesn't stop you from getting more serious about it in future if you feel more psyched again. That's certainly in my mind for when I have more time and energy again, although who knows where life will lead them.

Appreciate there are no magic bullets in there but maybe something chimes a bit.

I'm obviously making huge assumptions here as I don't know you at all, so please tell me to sod off if im wrong. If there is something else going on in your life that may be causing you stress, or other negative feelings, those negative feelings and stress could manifest as a loss of interest and satisfaction in climbing (and other things). And I guess if you're not enjoying it, that could be a bit of a viscious cycle of self-berating, making it even harder to enjoy it. There's a few key words and phrases in your post that seem familiar to me, guilt, shame of having a break and not being at your peak, a bit of envy of others enjoyment etc. Which I why I thought it might be something other than loss of strength etc.

If this is the case, you've made the first step in recognising a change in yourself,  and asked for help, which is great.

Different things will help Different people, but for me, talking with friends and family is a great start, and speaking to a qualified counsellor is really helpful (tho this may be a bit pricey as limited on the nhs). There's also the option of antidepressants, which I have found helpful to just get me out of the negative mind loops, and able to enjoy and get satisfaction from things again.

Apologies again if im talking b*llocks, and I hope you find the answers you need.

Its only a pastime, try another hobby for awhile Fishing, Golf, MTBing or whatever, we have so much opportunity, its a shame not to try other things, you never know you may find you love them more.
Could it be that you are concerned about your "sunk cost" the time and effort you have invested in climbing could all have been wasted?
Loads of stuff on the net about Sunk Cost, google it, but here is something https://thedecisionlab.com/biases/the-sunk-cost-fallacy

Permanent state of affairs for me. Pretty much always saying I'm going to give up climbing.

However, every year I have a few great days climbing. Either doing an amazing trad route in a spectacular place, or a great day highball bouldering in crisp conditions, cause they're the things I like.

So I carry on, and climb indoors over the winter, as otherwise I wouldn't be able to have those experiences. It's no fun when you're totally off form, there's the ego battering, and the fear of constantly feeling like you're going to fall off no matter how easy the route. Most of my friends are climbers, basically all my holidays are climbing trips, and it's what I do to stop me getting really fat and depressed.

So giving up would not be rational, it would make my life a lot worse. So for indoor climbing, rather than trying to enjoy it, which just isn't going to happen, I just organise it to be as least miserable as possible, and see it as a means to an end.

Plenty of good advice on here already, but to get more specific ideas it would be helpful if you could clarify if you are suffering from depression, which would cloud a lot of your life, or are depressed that you don't get the same satisfaction from climbing that you used to.

Two quite different problems which would require different solutions.

Let us know, there are a lot of kind, knowledgedable people on here that could offer more focused advice if they have a clearer idea of the issue.

Focusing on it being purely climbing related, everyone has highs, lows, stagnation... you've just got to roll with it, climbing differently seasonally helps: winter, summer, indoors, outdoors etc..,  it stops the mundane route of meeting routes in walls no changing often enough. Mix up some different but complimentary sports. 

No longer taking enjoyment in things is a classic sign of depression. I'm sorry to hear you're going through this. Hope you can get some help. Presuming it is wider than climbing, might be worth looking at IAPT - basically counselling for which you can self-refer and doesn't need your GP. If it is just climbing, fair enough. My enthusiasm has ebbed and flowed over the years and over time I've just found that it's easier to let it go and wait until it comes back.

Hope you find some way forward anyway. 

I think the posts above mine have set it out pretty well. The main question is are you depressed, or have you just fallen out of love with climbing?

If it's depression then it will have seeped into every aspect of your life. You won't want to get up in the morning, you won't want to interact with friends and family, you won't enjoy anything. It just won't be one aspect of your life you find 'depressing', it will be all of it.

If it's just the climbing, you need to think about what, specifically, is the issue? Is it loss of form, you put so much effort into it for years and now you're beating yourself up about it? I get that with my running, I have an injury or a layoff, I get back to it and I've lost fitness, it's hard to get back into it, I've let myself down, I don't won't to go out because I won't enjoy it… For me the way back is to ignore pace, distance and comparisons with past performance and just do easy runs with the dog. Just do it, if it's not working out on that particular day I try not to fixate on being a failure and just concentrate on not letting it get to me. Eventually I start to feel stronger and less stressed about going out for a run and start to enjoy it. Maybe just cruise some routes well within your current grade and ease back into it rather than trying to jump straight into having a 'good session' and ticking the hardest routes you can? I'm aware that sounds dangerously close to a “just go out there and enjoy ya self” comment, but it is what it is.

Alternatively, you said:

As others have noted, thats sounding like the 'sunk cost fallacy'. You've invested so much time, effort and probably money into something and you think it will have all been for nothing if you stop, even though you don't want to do it anymore. Maybe you've invested a lot into self identifying as 'a climber' and don't believe there can be anything else?

I've been there with jobs (in fact I've been there a while in my current one), with pastimes (including climbing, which I took the hard choice of giving up a few years ago). What you need to do is have a long, hard think about why you climb, and where you go from here. You do have options, but you need to work out what the real problem is here first.

Hi Phil, 

Having just stalked your profile a bit it looks like you have done some cool stuff, plus hard climbing in bouldering and sport over a number of years. 8a / V11 is a pretty high performance level to reach !

Number one, i would look back and really think to yourself " i am a pretty bloody decent climber" 

You just can't get to that level without being committed and also a bit talented so give yourself a break 

Have a think about what it took to get there.Make a rough guess about the number of training and climbing hours you were putting in each week to get to and maintain that level. Can you commit to that again? Can you actually even spare the time due to other commitments? If the answer is no, then maybe you will have to drop the expectation of reaching those performance levels again (hopefully not)

Did you have any really obvious weaknesses either technically or physically? You could spend all available time training those areas and leave the stuff you were good at to look after itself, this could reduce the training hours needed and actually translate into gains in the long run. Plus it has the added bonus of a guaranteed path of progression, at least for a while 🙂

Try not to compare yourself to other climbers too much, it just doesn't help. Yes watch and learn and try and listen to feedback from other people but drop the judgement element, it is just plain unhealthy.

If you haven't got one, find a like minded individual that is a similar level to you and work on supporting each other in your goals, it is a massive help and will definitely bring back the psyche, plus we all need someone to empathize with and get/give a metaphorical hug 🙂

I have been/am in the same position as you a number of times over the last 15 years due to various things such as injury and illness and it is generally a massive battle to get back to former glories, but as always it ends up coming down to me having the realisation that i would just be a bit lost without climbing, other sports are fine but less of an anchor for your identity i have found 

I guess I'm trying to say look at all the ways you could improve the climbing experience that you are having right now, and if addressing these issues doesn't help then maybe it is time to move in to another sport, loads of climbers turn to cycling, triathlon and endurance running, myself included 

Good luck in your journey

My advice would be to try to take climbing out of the equation and think about how you are feeling in general, before you focus in on how you feel about climbing. Take your own feelings seriously and try to avoid negatively judging yourself. It sounds as though giving yourself some space to think and feel your way through the things that are happening in your life might be helpful. Try to talk with trusted friends/family and consider a counsellor.

Take care!

I think considering one's climbing level is fine as long as it doesn't pile on too much (inner) pressure to keep performing. That can definitely cause stress, reduction in enjoyment and therefore lack of motivation. When it comes to goals it could be better to get psyched for dream routes, not grades. 

I'm not sure training for climbing necessarily fits in with the sunk cost fallacy. You could say there's nothing to be gained from doing something if you aren't enjoying it. But the OP may be worrying about the resultant loss of form should he stop for a while, which is entirely rational. 

You need to reconnect with whatever originally you enjoyed about climbing, remember when it was new fun and exciting before the fun went? That's what you need to try to rekindle (whatever that was for you). Good luck and enjoy...

I really do hope you get some answers to this.  Well done for bringing it up on this forum.

If you have just lost your climbing mojo then I shouldn't worry about it.  There is no need to feel guilty about the time you have sunk into climbing - you have enjoyed that time or at least have spent that time doing it for a purpose that you thought was a good idea.  For quite a while, mountain biking pretty much eclipsed climbing for me, before climbing dragged me back.  Our hobbies come and go, it is surely much more important to enjoy doing what you do in your precious free time.

Could you be depressed though?  As has already been mentioned in other posts, not finding enjoyment in things that you used to enjoy is a symptom of depression.  You also mention that things in your home life having 'taken over' for a while.  Over the last couple of years I have watched my daughter become depressed and then recover.  It was awful.  As a result of it I have also perhaps come close to suffering myself....  Depression creeps up on you.  What starts as poor mental mental wellbeing then leads to poor mental health (which is not the same as suffering from a specific condition) can then lead to an actual condition, such as depression.  The process is gradual.  We think we are okay, until we realise that we really, really are not.  I would encourage you to seek advice from your loved ones and / or your GP or other professional.  The identification of a problem can at least then lead to a conversation about treatments.

Good luck and I hope that you return to enjoying your free time.