UKC Regulars Full Stottie and NWClimber have teamed up to make a start on a new climbing dictionary, inspired by the Washington Post's Style Invitational and "I'm sorry I haven't a clue" Uxbridge British Dictionary.
UKC readers are invited to release their creativity and contribute their additions to the growing lexicon needed by the thousands of people taking up this fine healthy pursuit.
Rules: Either offer a new climbing-related definition of an existing word, or a new definition of a climbing term. You can change or add or take away a letter.
Absheiling: when stomach muscles are greeted by a Teutonic friend
Aiding: a single ding
Aiguille: just the one Guille
Alpianist: high altitude keyboard player
Alpine: wishing you were in Chamonix
Ambivilence: not caring where one sleeps outside
Arêête: (Geordie Sl.) climb when ready
Ascendeur: an American climber
Avoid: don't look down
Belaytedly: failing to notice one's partner has fallen off
Bolt runner: protection you sprint to clip
Bossigran: overbearing old woman
Bouldering: very large engagement token
Bouldering Mat: non-shiny engagement token
Boweline: when tied properly, prevents embarrassment in nervous leaders
Brocken spectre: badger examiner
Buoux: (Eng pronunciation) a sudden fright for a child
Buoux: (Fr pronunciation) things to read
Buttressed: place to sit
Camalot: excessive use of friends
Campuss Board: getting tired of placing friend 0.5 into ex-boyfriend's cat
Campussing: kerb crawling near a university
Carabeaner: snaplink with a woolly hat
Chim-chimenee chim-chimenee: nervousness when confronted with a very wide crack
Choss: game played in limestone quarries
Clipstick: makeup accessory for very short female sports climbers
Cornice: wow! lovely snow
Couloir: fashionable wah
Crappons: sharply-pointed put-downs
Crevasse: obligatory neck-wear at Alpine Club luncheons
Crimp: short for crimpanzee
Dibona: internationally famous Italian alpine fish-filleter
Diedre: Deirdre spelt wrong
Dihedral: rock feature named after girlfriend
Dollymite: weighing up chances with Ms Parton
Dropsy: disease suffered by some spotters
Dynoing: passing away with great awareness
Enchainement: getting tied down intentionally
Ethics: ignored by every climber; borders Thuffolk
Frigate: very drunk knot
Front pointing: jockeying to go second
Glitzading: winter descent wearing sequins/celebrity snowsliding
Grappelling: going down fighting
Guide books: reading material for the blind
Gullyble: easily persuaded into ascending or descending a slippery fissure
Half-hitched: nearly married
Handjam: spreading preserve without a knife
Hanging Belay: stay of execution
Harness: female royalty
Kalymity: a disaster in Greece - e.g. missing a ferry
Kermmitting move: action requiring the courage of a muppet
Knee bar: night out with Scottish Temperance Society Mountaineering Club
Ledger: someone who occupies a stance for too long
Limescale: climbing on carboniferous rock
Maillon (Fr): question leader asks second before starting to climb
Mantelshelf: ledge to rest your nick-nacks on
Misstake: female climber pushing her grades
Mistle thrutch: whistling tunefully while rocketing up a chimney
Mixed climbing: boys and girls climbing together
MOAC: tribe of dyslexic North American Indians
Moelwyns: race result in Tales of the Riverbank
Mono-doigt: a finger placement before stereo
Mountrains: rack and pinion railways
Octobus: the number 8 bus
Oedibus: catching the same bus as your Mum
Overhang: an execution that should have taken less time
Patagoniad: (gentle) check made by climber (male) after long fall
Pembroke: Pem waiting to be fixed
Pink-pointing: overt homophobia
Pitoon: target of purists' saliva
Pomegranate: (Aus) Bosigran , Arran etc
Poseition: section of difficult route with large hidden holds
Prana: carnivorous fish; feeds off gullible climbers
Prima Faecies: first climber to crap themselves on a route
Proxymoron: victim of sandbagging
Prussik: Prudence is unwell
Rebuffed: refused entry for wearing ghastly fair isle knitwear, red socks and big boots
Retrobolting: running away whilst wearing flares
Runner: immobile protection
Rhyolite: fat-free Rhyo
Rockies: little rocks for doing climby-wimey
Rockover: staying the night under a friend's boulder
Rock over (US): Elvis has left the building
Sandbag: correctly identifying a lost ladies item
Sarchasm: large gap between belayer's comments and a leader who doesn't get it
Shaemorrhoid: anal prolapsed varicose vein visible from below when climbing in shorts
Shockstone: uncomfortably close rockfall
Shopper knot: tight rein on finances (NB rarely effective in the premises of outdoor equipment
retailers)
Side pull: asking the person next to you at the wall for a date
Sit-start: sequence of moves after reaching the crag from the car
Slate: closing time
Slowper: a hand gradually sliding off a rounded hold
Snowdon: end of winter
Snowdonia: end of winter in your locality
Spindthrift: recklessly wasting snow
St. Ledger: vicar occupying stance for too long
Stannington Ruffs: inhabitants of a no-go area near Sheffield
Sustained: spotted by Sue
Testiculating: waving arms wildly at the bottom of the crag and talking bollocks
Topo: Spiffing
Top-rope: see tow-rope
Tow-rope: see top-rope
Torquemada (Sp): obsession with ice axes
Torquing: speaking with posh accent in winter
Tougha: hard to climb calcified rock formation
Tyroliain: Scotsman living in Austria
Undercling: not holding on long enough
Undercut: not yet drunk
Understanding: belaying from the bottom of a cliff
Welsh Slate: Sean Connery noting its after closing time
Whether forecast: discussion on a climber's likelihood of success
Wilton: NW climber lacking liquid refreshment
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