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Topic - rules for walking up Blencathra

mike123 - on 04 May 2014
when i win the lottery next week i will be purchasing said mountain and introducing the following rules:
1. no black dogs on a wednesday
2. no flappy map cases on string unless its february or october.
3. no meat pies on spring tuesdays.
4. when there is enough snow only ski touring allowed. no silly hats. no split boards or snow boards of any sort. if the snow is deep and powdery its obviously far too dangerous for anybody unless they have a strange numerical surname. no exceptions.
5.anybody caught leaving dog poo in bags will be shot. in the knee caps. and then eaten by a pack of specially trained miniature poodles.
6. no ron hills after 10 in a morning and before 8 at night.
any further suggestions will be considered and probably ignored.
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