What good's an experiment if it can't go wrong? Well, with that logic, this week Ape Index proudly present the Apollo 13 of slideshows, a veritable fronteir bashing piece of entertainment technology the likes of which haven't been seen since Noah invited the two woodpeckers onto his ark.
The experiment goes like this. Take one natural victim, in this case Airlie Anderson, international cover star and generally average human being, and insert an unknown quantity of medical grade alcohol. Then make her stand on stage in front of a crowd and talk through a bunch of slides she has not seen before. (To anyone who has seen Airlie lecture before, no, that is not what she always does.) The potential for disaster here is enormous, and anyone not carrying insurance would be well advised to get there early to ensure a seat far to the back. Christ help us all.
In support will be Consumed, a film by Dan Honneyman, and a follow up to his A Film By Some Climbers. Again, Consumed will feature the hardest and wobbliest of hard wobbly headpoints on our very own gritstone. Chalk will be sold on the night at a vastly inflated price.
And as if that wasn't too much, we will also have Sheffield's favourite rucksack stitcher, Pete O'Donovan along to further rub in Sheffield's crap weather with his show, A Homage To Catalunya. Catalunya, for those of us who didn't already know, is in somewhere else. POD has agreed to bring along a hundred litres of cheap Spanish wine to numb the effects, so there.
Fans of badger baiting will be pleased to hear that we have arranged a pro-am open event for the break, which promises to be as much fun for us as it will be for the badgers. I'm looking at them right now, and they sure seem excited.
As usual, the event will be hosted by me, Niall Grimes, and I am hastily preparing a show based on the review of my life in pictures, entitled Thumb Shots, Bum Shots and Cum Shots. The event takes place at the Brincliffe Oaks, Nether Edge, Sheffield on Sunday 3rd Februararary, 8.00 pm. Tickets four quid. For all info, as well as our very own climbing quiz, see the website, www.apeindex.com
