This topic has been archived, and won't accept reply postings.
You can keep your Foot and Mouth.
This week's Ape index Slideshow stars Sheffield's queen of country music, Miss Airlie Anderson, with her show From Essex to E6, and Beyond. And Back. Taking in her climbing career from first appearing on the scene as a gobby teenager, through to her current blossoming maturity. Along the way she will take in big walls, doing them and not doing them, Alpine extravaganzas, fistfights, and generally bringing things down to her own level. Expec a great show from this, one of the most brash, honest and human speakers you have ever paid four quid to hear.
'That's tons, but is that all?' I hear you all say. Not at all. Neil Bentley, a man with a physique that would have Stuart Littlefair foaming at the mouth, will be there too, and not just to sort out trouble at the back. 'I'm not bloody talking about Equilibrium' he asserts. Thank God, you all say. Instead we will be getting a run through his and Richard Heap's recent trip to free Salathe Wall on El Cap, the highs and lows, the ups and downs, the fists and the fingers.
'More?' Yeah. Ben Lowe will be showing us even more reasons why you should go and live elsewhere than Britain, with a fabulous selection of slides from a recent elongated journey round Australia and New Zealand, where he encountered some of the most beautiful bouldering, and some of the most beautiful boulderers. Apart from his own show, he will also be introducing a recent antipodean bouldering film called Eos which features some of the most beautiful bouldering, and some of the most beautiful boulderers. Apart from his own show, he will also be introducing a recent antipodean bouldering film called Eos which features some of the.... well you get the idea. Good old cut and paste.
The doors will open at 7.30, Sunday March 25th, and shows start at 8. As usual, it will be at the Lescar Hotel, Sharrowvale Rd, Hunters Bar, Sheffield. For all other infi, see the Ape Index web site.
This week's Ape index Slideshow stars Sheffield's queen of country music, Miss Airlie Anderson, with her show From Essex to E6, and Beyond. And Back. Taking in her climbing career from first appearing on the scene as a gobby teenager, through to her current blossoming maturity. Along the way she will take in big walls, doing them and not doing them, Alpine extravaganzas, fistfights, and generally bringing things down to her own level. Expec a great show from this, one of the most brash, honest and human speakers you have ever paid four quid to hear.
'That's tons, but is that all?' I hear you all say. Not at all. Neil Bentley, a man with a physique that would have Stuart Littlefair foaming at the mouth, will be there too, and not just to sort out trouble at the back. 'I'm not bloody talking about Equilibrium' he asserts. Thank God, you all say. Instead we will be getting a run through his and Richard Heap's recent trip to free Salathe Wall on El Cap, the highs and lows, the ups and downs, the fists and the fingers.
'More?' Yeah. Ben Lowe will be showing us even more reasons why you should go and live elsewhere than Britain, with a fabulous selection of slides from a recent elongated journey round Australia and New Zealand, where he encountered some of the most beautiful bouldering, and some of the most beautiful boulderers. Apart from his own show, he will also be introducing a recent antipodean bouldering film called Eos which features some of the most beautiful bouldering, and some of the most beautiful boulderers. Apart from his own show, he will also be introducing a recent antipodean bouldering film called Eos which features some of the.... well you get the idea. Good old cut and paste.
The doors will open at 7.30, Sunday March 25th, and shows start at 8. As usual, it will be at the Lescar Hotel, Sharrowvale Rd, Hunters Bar, Sheffield. For all other infi, see the Ape Index web site.
Will Airlie's boyfriend be there, I met him the other night at the casbar. He's so amazing.
"one of the most brash, honest and human speakers you have ever paid four quid to hear." You want to get out more mate, four quid will get you a sight more than that in Bentham.
>> Another not particularily outstanding climber getting their hols paid by us
Why not? It's supply and demand - if you don't want to go and pay to see someone waffle on then don't go. Some people make the choice to either be stoodents or take not particularly well paid jobs in order to concentrate on their sport - and if by being good and/or well known they can supplement their meagre income by getting other people to pay to listen to them then why not? I could do a pretty amusing talk on 'Beer and Pies in the Lakes and the Dales' - it's just that no-one'd want to come. There are clearly lots of (a) climbers and (b) sycophantic groupies in Sheffield (only joking) so there's an audience for this sort of thing - so good on yer, chaps - there's a market so exploit it.
I assume, however, that any income will be fully declared to the Inland Revenue and have the appropriate deductions made
Why not? It's supply and demand - if you don't want to go and pay to see someone waffle on then don't go. Some people make the choice to either be stoodents or take not particularly well paid jobs in order to concentrate on their sport - and if by being good and/or well known they can supplement their meagre income by getting other people to pay to listen to them then why not? I could do a pretty amusing talk on 'Beer and Pies in the Lakes and the Dales' - it's just that no-one'd want to come. There are clearly lots of (a) climbers and (b) sycophantic groupies in Sheffield (only joking) so there's an audience for this sort of thing - so good on yer, chaps - there's a market so exploit it.
I assume, however, that any income will be fully declared to the Inland Revenue and have the appropriate deductions made
look, everyone's put a lot of effort into these ape index things. they're packed out, they're funny and entertaining and everyone leaves happy. no room for criticism of any kind, whatsoever. well said andy.
I'd be well up for seeing Mr Wiggins give a talk on Beer, Pies etc. in fact I'll even supply a venue and free crisps. Any takers?
(agree totally, see my comment on other thread!)
(agree totally, see my comment on other thread!)
Cheers Jude, Cheers Andy.
The point of these Ape Index lectures, when i set them up, was to provide evening's entertainment through the dark winter months, and as a general social thing. (Oh yeah, and to make millions of quid)As such, the emphasis when getting speakers has been on that entertaining side. If you're criticising Airlie for not being good enough to be worthy of speaking, then balls to you. Having myself been to plenty of lectures by hard climbers, the 'It was hard and we were scared but we got to the top even though the ice was thin and the French couldn't do it' variety, it seems to me that they are fairly dull. I would rather hear a VS climber talking about what climbing meant to them than hear Alex Huber describe his one finger pull-up regeme. I mean, Steve and John, what grade do you have to climb to become interesting? Are you interesting? One of the best shows yet was Andy Kirkpatrick's, who didn't need to support himself with numbers, just giving a wicked talk about people. Remember those?
So, Steve and John, don't feel you have to dismiss things in one sentence just because you can find a flaw. As the man said, you don't need to go. I'm sure you'll have a much more interesting time tossing one liners at message boards. Or checking out downtown Bentham.
PS Yes, i have a team of crack accountants working on my tax returns right this minute. And must remember - 5 minutes on-line inserting standard reply note - that's 5 more p expenses.
PPS. Where's Bentham?
The point of these Ape Index lectures, when i set them up, was to provide evening's entertainment through the dark winter months, and as a general social thing. (Oh yeah, and to make millions of quid)As such, the emphasis when getting speakers has been on that entertaining side. If you're criticising Airlie for not being good enough to be worthy of speaking, then balls to you. Having myself been to plenty of lectures by hard climbers, the 'It was hard and we were scared but we got to the top even though the ice was thin and the French couldn't do it' variety, it seems to me that they are fairly dull. I would rather hear a VS climber talking about what climbing meant to them than hear Alex Huber describe his one finger pull-up regeme. I mean, Steve and John, what grade do you have to climb to become interesting? Are you interesting? One of the best shows yet was Andy Kirkpatrick's, who didn't need to support himself with numbers, just giving a wicked talk about people. Remember those?
So, Steve and John, don't feel you have to dismiss things in one sentence just because you can find a flaw. As the man said, you don't need to go. I'm sure you'll have a much more interesting time tossing one liners at message boards. Or checking out downtown Bentham.
PS Yes, i have a team of crack accountants working on my tax returns right this minute. And must remember - 5 minutes on-line inserting standard reply note - that's 5 more p expenses.
PPS. Where's Bentham?
>>> PPS. Where's Bentham?
It's on the road between Lancaster and Clapham - and is a charming market town by day. At night it becomes a fucking wild-west outpost full of extremely violent loonies. Really hard gangs of football thugs make detours to take on the locals. Remember the attempted bank robbery in Windemere a year or two back where an automatic weapon was discharged for the first time in the UK? They were from Bentham.
Full of bleedin maniacs, matey. And I nearly moved there (phew!)
It's on the road between Lancaster and Clapham - and is a charming market town by day. At night it becomes a fucking wild-west outpost full of extremely violent loonies. Really hard gangs of football thugs make detours to take on the locals. Remember the attempted bank robbery in Windemere a year or two back where an automatic weapon was discharged for the first time in the UK? They were from Bentham.
Full of bleedin maniacs, matey. And I nearly moved there (phew!)
Andy, I heard Bentham wouldnt have you! Balls to you too Niall, although I think you are right with your comment that you can get a good talk from someone who climbs VS. I guess I'm a little frustrated at the assumtion(not made by you) that because someone climbs hard routes they will necessarily make a good speaker, so my remark was inappropriate. There were so many examples of well-known or hard climbing characters at Kendal just living off their physical achievments, rather than preparing their presentations. I guess that coloured my view of such events.
I think a great presentation would be the life and times of Britains boldest climber, none other than Cavel Gregg. Get that one organised Niall and I,ll eat my words and buy you a pint or two in the process. But please no Beer and Pies talks.
I think a great presentation would be the life and times of Britains boldest climber, none other than Cavel Gregg. Get that one organised Niall and I,ll eat my words and buy you a pint or two in the process. But please no Beer and Pies talks.
shit. isn't mmmmmnB's beer and pie thing going to be any good? i just bought my ticket to Birmingham as well. oh well. i'll go down there anyway and me and matty can go see a gerard depardieu film instead.
John, it appears we are both arguing against the same thing at the top of the page that suggested because AA was a 'not particularly outstanding climber' then she was somehow less worth hearing. And balls to me too, 'cos I ain't never heard of Cavel Gregg. How many E10's has he put up? Must get the feelers out.
And Jude. What's this? I thought Birmingham was coming up here. We got beer and pies too.
Goodbye cruel world.
And Jude. What's this? I thought Birmingham was coming up here. We got beer and pies too.
Goodbye cruel world.
Seriously Jude, Andy actually has a slide show about himself drinking beer & eating pies and I guess all the other Ulverston lads in there with him. Actually maybe it would be a laugh, couldnt he do it in the style of one of those promnade play type things.
Giv over U lot
Go if U want to, don't if U don't.
1 critism is that they rumble on, on a Sunday nite & I hav 2 get up @ 5:30 next day, so earier @ 7.00 maybe? We are al thinkin about work at the end of the day
Well Dunne Niall (betcha can't get Moony though)
Dave Greg would B gud though!!
Go if U want to, don't if U don't.
1 critism is that they rumble on, on a Sunday nite & I hav 2 get up @ 5:30 next day, so earier @ 7.00 maybe? We are al thinkin about work at the end of the day
Well Dunne Niall (betcha can't get Moony though)
Dave Greg would B gud though!!
John, you think the talk pays? Say 100 people tops paying and three people spouting/entertaining so you get a turn in a club and its unlikely they would turn out for that money. Wish Grimes would get his tour going instead of keeping it for sheffield. Still, got to feel sorry for them, all they've got is stanage, the foundry,a shopping centre and a tram that goes in circles.
c'mon grimer, get on tour.
c'mon grimer, get on tour.
Well Sutty, I am currently looking into the prospect of the tour concept. It's just transporting the audience up and down the country is the hard bit. But yeah, I am most definitely looking into getting my Birmingham work permit sorted out. And Simon, I know they're long, I've tried to do things like drop the caption comp to save time, but the thing is the series is virtually over, there's only one or two episodes left, so it's a bit late to change now, but I'd say you're right, only 7 is a bit early for getting to the pub on a Sunday.
PS Does anyone know how these Pritt correction rollers work?
PS Does anyone know how these Pritt correction rollers work?
Niall you are a complete gentilhomme leaving that gap in the traffic with your Citroen 2CV so that I can burn you off on my Mike Halewood Replica (see Chris, there’s loads you don’t know about me baby!) so overtake I will (I am waving at you and grinning through my motorcross lid sweetie with that Ducati roooooar up my arse – woopeeeeeeee! betta than poxy girly lard arse climbing any day!!!!!).........OK.......
Niall – of course I’m not going to Birmingham this weekend. It was something called a joke. "Joke(dzduk) n. 1. A humorous anecdote." (Collins English Dictionary). Your treacly banoffee pie beats beer ‘n’ mash anyday.However MattB Of Brum will be the guest of honour at your beer n mash bash and he's sent me loads of pics and he's 6 foot with gorgeous brown eyes and he's weyheyhunky and he says he's going to pulp anyone who dares to be horrid to me! Hey Nial! Should amend that to not going to Birmingham YET! Have been invited though smirky smirky! (guess you might be far afield too by then ya liddle globetrotting romeo eh eh eh eh?) naill you must get a mobile so's i can tex you, hav left email for you this morning comprising raucous and hilarity sandwich jx
Niall – of course I’m not going to Birmingham this weekend. It was something called a joke. "Joke(dzduk) n. 1. A humorous anecdote." (Collins English Dictionary). Your treacly banoffee pie beats beer ‘n’ mash anyday.However MattB Of Brum will be the guest of honour at your beer n mash bash and he's sent me loads of pics and he's 6 foot with gorgeous brown eyes and he's weyheyhunky and he says he's going to pulp anyone who dares to be horrid to me! Hey Nial! Should amend that to not going to Birmingham YET! Have been invited though smirky smirky! (guess you might be far afield too by then ya liddle globetrotting romeo eh eh eh eh?) naill you must get a mobile so's i can tex you, hav left email for you this morning comprising raucous and hilarity sandwich jx
Oooh - go on John - who're you talking about at Kendal who didn't prepare? Spill the beans!
I reckon we could do quite a good life and times of Cav - did anyone get any pictures of him when he fell off Shepherds? I have submitted that tale to Jon Read's 'Epics' section on his gritstone site (particularly Mr Knight's performance of disappearing behind a tree, rolling a fag and saying 'I'm not fuckin' looking, he's got to be dead this time').
I reckon we could do quite a good life and times of Cav - did anyone get any pictures of him when he fell off Shepherds? I have submitted that tale to Jon Read's 'Epics' section on his gritstone site (particularly Mr Knight's performance of disappearing behind a tree, rolling a fag and saying 'I'm not fuckin' looking, he's got to be dead this time').
Niall- a Sheffield based friend of mine went to the Johnny Dawes` event and was really disappointed;apparently he just got more and more monged as the evening progressed and didn`t seem even remotely interested in earning his dosh by delivering an interesting and entertaining presentation.This was compounded by a bunch of Johnny`s groupies mouthing off constantly.P.S.I saw Johhny speak at Bretton Hall years ago and thought he was really funny and had some fantastic ideas about movement and climbing.Not sure I`d want to pay to see someome mashed though.. he did provide great entertainment at a party in Sheffield a couple of years ago, but that`s a different story..
John Scott - hi there. i am one lucky gal. dont need medication or drugs ever because i am naturally on one all the time tally ho get me back on that ducati!
You should all get proper jobs instead of scrounging off hard worker lime me n priesty. That means students, long hairs, skinheads, politicians, actors, ''professional '' climbers and IR spectroscopists.....
Naill,
I'd give my left testicle to see some of the ape index shows. I'm sure a show or two here in the north east wouldnt go amiss..!?
Went to see Ron Fawcett show years ago called "Etched in stone" does he still do talks...?
He should do......
PJ
I'd give my left testicle to see some of the ape index shows. I'm sure a show or two here in the north east wouldnt go amiss..!?
Went to see Ron Fawcett show years ago called "Etched in stone" does he still do talks...?
He should do......
PJ
It was a fiver when I last visited, and I thought that was bloody good value. I wouldn't have minded skipping the breakfast either!
Alright alright, i'll even let you all have free lemonade if you bring the tour down here!
I'll be inspecting the quality of the show for myself this weekend though, so i'll report back.
jude you are the sweetest (and sexiest, lads, trust me I've seen the photo's :0)!!!). Niall, refrain from blowing your brains out just yet, your mistaken I'm not stealing her away for a life in the midlands just yet (but I'm sure that sounds v. interesting ... umm well....)
mattB
I'll be inspecting the quality of the show for myself this weekend though, so i'll report back.
jude you are the sweetest (and sexiest, lads, trust me I've seen the photo's :0)!!!). Niall, refrain from blowing your brains out just yet, your mistaken I'm not stealing her away for a life in the midlands just yet (but I'm sure that sounds v. interesting ... umm well....)
mattB
forgot to respond to you john sorry. hi.r u and andy best buds outside of this cyberspace toilet? andy's slide show sounds interesting actually. hey niall, why don't you make the next ape index absolutely nothing to with climbing
MATTYBEEEE!!!!!!!ya little charmer you, i was just emailing your directions for sunday. i saw grimester this morning and he looked so sad. kept whipping out a soaking hanky and avoiding eye contact. what's all that about then? (tee hee hee hee hee
What do the inland revenue do with spectroscopes?
Jude, actually Andy and I are ex-lovers. It all went wrong, the bitch took up golf and wouldnt let me caddy. Well, then the beer belly arrived and that was that.
If Nialls still reading this, Cavel Gregg has never climbed E10 but then your only teasing arent you. Actually Cavel cant even boulder at 5a yet the bugger will tie on and lead E6, its stomach churning and yes he falls off and yes he cratters. What pisses me off is that he uses up everybody elses luck. Except PC Cox that is.........(Andy)
If Nialls still reading this, Cavel Gregg has never climbed E10 but then your only teasing arent you. Actually Cavel cant even boulder at 5a yet the bugger will tie on and lead E6, its stomach churning and yes he falls off and yes he cratters. What pisses me off is that he uses up everybody elses luck. Except PC Cox that is.........(Andy)
Andy, Phiza was crap at Kendal but at least he admitted putting superglue or something on his boots to do routes in Hodgeclose. If I meet him in the street I'm gona mug him for my ticket money.
I haven't played golf for over two years, y'cheeky monkey. Had to start climbing again - living two minutes from Crookers what else could a chap do? Well actually, given current events, bugger all apart from road running.
And I'm nowhere near as fat as Bob - who yesterday did his own version of the Monty Python 'marathon for the incontinent' sketch by having to rush into the woods for a poo 7 miles into the Ackworth half marathon.
Anyway - I didn't think Al was that bad at Kendal - bit long, maybe (and a bit pished as well, but that was cos Billy and Dave went on for so long!).
And I'm nowhere near as fat as Bob - who yesterday did his own version of the Monty Python 'marathon for the incontinent' sketch by having to rush into the woods for a poo 7 miles into the Ackworth half marathon.
Anyway - I didn't think Al was that bad at Kendal - bit long, maybe (and a bit pished as well, but that was cos Billy and Dave went on for so long!).
i will just tell you for those of you waiting with baited breath that the show was an absolute corker.
Neil Bentley was very entertaining and is obviously well 'ard and gets my total respect and even if he didn't flash them nip rings he's flashed more than any of his detractors ever will.
Grimester was as usual the funniest man i've ever met (melt and simper (gag)) and had the audience pissing themselves. he was a bit of a bully forcing poor airlee to put her hands in his pocket on stage to rummage around in the darkness for slips of paper with audience questions on. he'd cut a big hole in his pocket and at one point airlee disappeared down his right trouser leg up to her armpits. she was grimacing as well and when she surfaced she smirked and held her little finger up in a crooked fashion. what's all that about then? and grimer didn't even rig the questions and slip her my question as requested so i'll have to put it here instead. Q: airlee, did you know that every man who has ever slagged you off goes home to bed at night, separates the top mag from a pile of climbing mags meticulously trying to peel it off the pile without tearing it, and secretly fantasises about your well 'ard climbing abilities? A: yes or no. instead we got "get yer tits out" and other predictable tosh. rig it next grimer ya wuss. mind you, there was one very funny contribution from my mate but it's filthy and al will zap it so can't put it here.
and what can we say about airlee? the woman is a complete and utter showstopping star who has the humility to take the piss out of herself which not many climbing boys seem able to do, let's face it. she looked like a superbabe, tossed off one liners in fluent mae west stylee, and strutted her stuff with wit, brilliant adlibbing and thrilling climbing slides. fanfu&*ing-tastic girl. you go big time baby. The show was a complete cracker and i think niall deserves a big round of cybaclaps for organising it even though i didn't get a snog at the end of the night. (not from him anyway belting stuff.cheers.
mattB did u gettum back safe and sound sweetie weetie missing u already ya gorgeous cornish pasty you? hey mmmnB i think grimer's been nicking your material luv
Neil Bentley was very entertaining and is obviously well 'ard and gets my total respect and even if he didn't flash them nip rings he's flashed more than any of his detractors ever will.
Grimester was as usual the funniest man i've ever met (melt and simper (gag)) and had the audience pissing themselves. he was a bit of a bully forcing poor airlee to put her hands in his pocket on stage to rummage around in the darkness for slips of paper with audience questions on. he'd cut a big hole in his pocket and at one point airlee disappeared down his right trouser leg up to her armpits. she was grimacing as well and when she surfaced she smirked and held her little finger up in a crooked fashion. what's all that about then? and grimer didn't even rig the questions and slip her my question as requested so i'll have to put it here instead. Q: airlee, did you know that every man who has ever slagged you off goes home to bed at night, separates the top mag from a pile of climbing mags meticulously trying to peel it off the pile without tearing it, and secretly fantasises about your well 'ard climbing abilities? A: yes or no. instead we got "get yer tits out" and other predictable tosh. rig it next grimer ya wuss. mind you, there was one very funny contribution from my mate but it's filthy and al will zap it so can't put it here.
and what can we say about airlee? the woman is a complete and utter showstopping star who has the humility to take the piss out of herself which not many climbing boys seem able to do, let's face it. she looked like a superbabe, tossed off one liners in fluent mae west stylee, and strutted her stuff with wit, brilliant adlibbing and thrilling climbing slides. fanfu&*ing-tastic girl. you go big time baby. The show was a complete cracker and i think niall deserves a big round of cybaclaps for organising it even though i didn't get a snog at the end of the night. (not from him anyway belting stuff.cheers.
mattB did u gettum back safe and sound sweetie weetie missing u already ya gorgeous cornish pasty you? hey mmmnB i think grimer's been nicking your material luv
what duh brain planet am i on this morning? how could i have posted that without mentioning the (very cute girls) ben lowe presenting his slides from a year living and working in kiwi land and visits to oz. they were fantastic and his laid back and totally unpretentious and warm delivery makes you want to jump straight on a plane with him for the antipodes (is that what they're called?) plus we got to see a cracking video he helped edit with a wicked banging soundtrack, some kicking cinematography and an hilarious interview with some crazy fu&*ing kiwi who was charm personified but totally wey hey away with the wip zippedydee la-la-land fairies, climbing mad stuff who really reminded me of johnny dawes.(wonder why? (bless and kiss, jd))goodbye and goodnight. er. is it still morning? cant tell it's so grimy out there.
This topic has been archived, and won't accept reply postings.
Loading Notifications...