In reply to Bingly Bong:
Not for the first time, I’m gobsmacked by some of you people. The profiles aren’t job applications, for God’s sake.
And anyway how is this disaster going to occur, exactly? Presumably the idea is that I cybermeet some bullshitter, and we arrange as a first date to meet a deux on some remote crag to do some multi-pitch route which is too hard for me to lead. Well, frankly that already contains a few unlikelihoods, but let’s say it happens. If our hero fails on the first pitch then I’ll know what to do – tie him off and walk home – so presumably the trouble arises on the second pitch after I’ve led the first. In my experience of this kind of individual they don’t normally get far enough to cause a real crisis, but let’s say they do and the next I know they’re hanging unconscious on the rope.
Well hey, it could happen. Could happen with any regular partner too, mind, and I guess in theory we’d all better either know what to do or have the nous to work it out when it happens. But I’d put it rather in the invasion-from-Mars category; not really worth worrying about.
It doesn’t have to be cyberspace, mind. I remember a character from Mile End who used to talk all the time about 6c moves, when in reality he quite frequently used to fail on 5a ones. Given that I had seen him fail on Birch Tree Wall (is that what it’s called? That classic VS at Black Rocks) all of four feet up (just by his second runner, in fact) it was perhaps unwise of me, but I agreed to do Spacewalk on Lundy with him. I had done my homework: my plan was to lead pitches one and three. I didn’t think he could make too much of a mess of pitch two, a short 5a pitch which my informant had told me was well-protected. I was wrong: he started flailing absurdly and eventually belayed in the middle of it (about 15 feet above the stance). I climbed past him and up to the second belay, and unwisely (a) didn’t just continue, and (b) allowed him to have a go at the top 5b pitch, since it didn’t look too bad. A few minutes later he was thirty feet above me, shaking like a bastard, and, after pulling out his other two runners, had just kicked out the only one left between me and him. I was terrified: sure I was about to be pulled off the stance and die, even supposing he didn’t actually fall directly on to me.
He made it of course – they usually do – but it was a lesson to me. Still, like I say, you can be quite experienced and still fall for this sort of thing in real life, so worrying about profiles is a bit daft.