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Bluff your way in football coaching (help needed)

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 tobyfk 10 Mar 2008
After many years of being rude about team sports I am in the unlikely position of coaching my son's school's under-9 football team. All I bring to this is an English rather than American accent - it's an American/ International school - and a hyper-keen son; my "soccer" skills are near zero. There is a vaguely pleasing symmetry to that though, as the school's climbing wall is run by a f*ckwit who knows nothing about climbing. On the positive side also, the U-9 team lost all its matches next year so even a single win would be an improvement. Top priority is to thrash the snotty local British school, where most of my colleagues' kids go.

So .. any tips? How do you motivate eight year-olds to go out and win? (Some kind of financial incentive sprang to mind). And should I try and get them passing and stuff .. or is that a waste of time at that age?
 Banned User 77 10 Mar 2008
In reply to tobyfk: Work on skill, that's all that matters. try to keep them in some sort of shape. How many a side is it?

Just do Passing drills, dribbling, shooting, don't do any running/fitness/shuttles a waste of time.

Find the kid who can hammer a ball, stick him up front. u9's but you'll still need your enforcer, so get your hard lad and stick him at centre half or centre mid.

And just gee them up, it's amazing how much they'll know about the opposition, they'll probably be the local whipping boys so get their heads up.
In reply to tobyfk:

Don't you have to practice yelling 'get rid' and waving your fist in their faces? That and 'get stuck in', and 'let's have it' seem to be the main phrases to remember, in my local park anyway.

jcm
bergalia 10 Mar 2008
In reply to tobyfk:

Good advice from Iain - I'd just add that it helps if you get them training using a tennis ball for passing and dribbling. Sharpens the co-ordination no end. Ensure they use the inside/outside of the foot and not to attempt toe-punts, rather kick with 'top' of the foot when 'shooting'.
OP tobyfk 10 Mar 2008
In reply to IainRUK:
> (In reply to tobyfk) Work on skill, that's all that matters. try to keep them in some sort of shape. How many a side is it?

Seven, I think. It's indoor "soccer"; temperature is normally ~40°C in April when the matches start.

> Find the kid who can hammer a ball, stick him up front. u9's but you'll still need your enforcer, so get your hard lad and stick him at centre half or centre mid.

Ironically this is probably my son who has inherited a certain amount of samurai spirit and pigheaded aggression from his mother. However he is intent on playing mid-field or defence (whatever those are ...) as someone told him that the grown-up thing is to hang back and pass a lot. So I should dissuade him. One feature of these games though is that we will be playing several arab schools full of sour violent Palestinian/ Lebanese kids, so I am wondering if we should instead field some token girls up front to confuse them and/ or be the initial casualties?
In reply to tobyfk:

>get your hard lad and stick him at centre half or centre mid.

Ironically this is probably my son who has inherited a certain amount of samurai spirit and pigheaded aggression from his mother. However he is intent on playing mid-field or defence (whatever those are ...)

Toby, I think those are centre-half and centre-mid....

jcm
 hutchm 10 Mar 2008
In reply to tobyfk:
> (In reply to IainRUK)
> [...]
> One feature of these games though is that we will be playing several arab schools full of sour violent Palestinian/ Lebanese kids, so I am wondering if we should instead field some token girls up front to confuse them and/ or be the initial casualties?

Teddy bear face-paint and shirts with 'Mohammed' printed on the back should do it.
 JDDD 10 Mar 2008
In reply to tobyfk: Also give them loads of moral support, especially if they start loosing again. A lot of my collegues have kids in various teams and it is horrendous to see how some of the parents and trainers treat little "Johnny just missed a crucial goal".
OP tobyfk 10 Mar 2008
In reply to johncoxmysteriously:

> Toby, I think those are centre-half and centre-mid....

F*ck me, there's a lot to learn. And what's this "keep their heads up"?

 Banned User 77 10 Mar 2008
In reply to tobyfk: Oh and NEVER shout (obviously never lose your temper - sounds obvious but wait until you've been to a few games), I know people shout due to enthusiasm, but with young kids this just upsets them, even in the most well meaning situations. I've seen so many teachers/parents shout and just upset kids. This is something that's seen as a good motivating tactic. It's counter productive. Even with adults really.

Kids just get confused and upset, talk to them, give them responsibilities.
 Banned User 77 10 Mar 2008
In reply to tobyfk: Once a team has taken a battering for a season or 2 they go out expecting to lose, they have no idea of winning, you've go to change that. Try and get them a few easy games, get some wins on board. I always liked the idea of being told we walk out on the pitch with a point, we're drawing, so you have something to work with. Don't lose that point.

My brother is a PE teacher at International schools and taught a school in Germany that had lost for years, but he turned them around, got a few star players, fed there enthusiasm, showed videos and got them enjoying their game.
 Chris H 10 Mar 2008
In reply to tobyfk: The most important skills are diving, miming waving cards and having a rota system when kicking the opposition. If irate parents complain, claim to have "not seen the incident from my position in the dugout".
 lummox 10 Mar 2008
In reply to tobyfk: second what Iain said. You need an enforcer or two- even at 8, you can usually see the hard nuts- they need to be at the core of your defence/midfield ( or dee fence for your Merkin educated school kids). Look for the kid (s) with better balance/running ability- with your expert guidance, you might unearth the new Henry.

Ferguson et al will be sh***ing themselves.

p.s. if it looks hopeless against the snotty kids, just encourage your boys to knack `em. You may lose the game but will feel a lot better for some blind, ugly violence.
 Fredt 10 Mar 2008
In reply to tobyfk:

The best single tip I learned when being coached at school was if you haven't got the ball, get to a space where it can be passed to you. (I think it's called running off the ball). If you're stood next to, or behind, an opponent you're out of the game.

Practice this in training with a 'two-touch' rule. You're allowed to touch the ball once to control it, and once to pass it on. (Remember to tell them this doesn't work well in real games if only one side is doing it.)
 Banned User 77 10 Mar 2008
In reply to Chris H: I was helping my brother coach his kids team in a tournament and they had one typical italian. Losing 5-0, last minute, he gets a penalty lovely finish and ran off around the pitch celebrating like he'd won them the game. This lad dived, pulled, rowed, moaned in Italian fashion and was only 12.
OP tobyfk 10 Mar 2008
In reply to IainRUK:

Potentially we have 80 kids from about 30+ nationalities to choose from. The freakishly tall Swedish girl looks like a shoo'in but should we consider a small, shy Equadorian on the basis that she at least has some Latino genes?
 lummox 10 Mar 2008
In reply to tobyfk: seeing as we`re pandering to racial stereotypes... tricky call with the Ecuadorian. Could be a little footballing genius.

Could be loco and start attacking your own/other players.

Very temperamental, the Latino types.

How times have changed- lads and lasses on the same team.
wcdave 10 Mar 2008
In reply to tobyfk: Always encourage them, never criticise.

In reply to lummox:

Have they?? My primary school had a mixed team in 1970.

jcm
boswelox 10 Mar 2008
In reply to tobyfk:

Do what my old football coach used to do - pointlessly shout 'time' whenever you had the ball. Leading to an internal philosophical dialogue about the nature of time. Then getting tackled from behind.

 lummox 10 Mar 2008
In reply to johncoxmysteriously:
> (In reply to lummox)
>
> Have they?? My primary school had a mixed team in 1970.
>
> jcm

We`re very backwards in`t North. Tha knows.

 Nevis-the-cat 10 Mar 2008
In reply to tobyfk:


Stick the feakish soon to be Swedish heptathlete at the front, with a copy of Peter Crouch's 10 best headers dvd, the latino on the wing and the biggest, slowest most solid kid - quick to anger slow to understand, at full back and them tell him he is henceforth known as "clogger".

I enjoy hearing tales of effete Rodneys having lumps kicked out them and nutmegged by a bird.
 lummox 10 Mar 2008
In reply to Nevis-the-cat:
> (In reply to tobyfk)
>
>
>and the biggest, slowest most solid kid - quick to anger slow to understand, at full back and them tell him he is henceforth known as "clogger".

How did you know my footy nickname ??
>
> I enjoy hearing tales of effete Rodneys having lumps kicked out them and nutmegged by a bird.

My younger brother played semi pro. Ther only person with similar skill levelswas the wee girl who lived up the street. Great fun to watch her run rings round lads who fancied themselves as footballers.

 Nevis-the-cat 10 Mar 2008
In reply to lummox:

Who did your brother play for?

My bro played for Bradford, Bishop Auckland, Wealdstone, Guiseley, Farsley and latterly Eccleshill and Emley.

Not that I am jealous of my 6 foot 3, athletic, England schoolboy capped brother.
OP tobyfk 11 Mar 2008
In reply to hutchm:

> Teddy bear face-paint and shirts with 'Mohammed' printed on the back should do it.

There are a pretty secular lot here generally. Stars of David would be more inflammatory ...

In reply to several:

Lots of good stuff here, thanks. But I suspect a "Bluff your way in football coaching part 2" will be along in a few weeks.

 Chris F 11 Mar 2008
In reply to tobyfk: Surely there is an "idiot's guide to coaching footy to young uns" out there?
OP tobyfk 12 Mar 2008
In reply to Chris F:

Where's the fun in that, Chris? It's well established that all human knowledge can be found on UKC.
i.munro 12 Mar 2008
In reply to Fredt:
> (In reply to tobyfk)
>
> The best single tip I learned when being coached at school was if you haven't got the ball, get to a space where it can be passed to you. (I think it's called running off the ball). .
>


Yeah. I'd go with that. When your side has the ball find space. As soon as your side loses it find an unmarked man on their side & stay close to him to deny him space. I think you can go a long way with that.
 earlsdonwhu 12 Mar 2008
In reply to tobyfk: If you want to see long term development work on small scale drills and skills. 3 vs 3 5vs 5 etc.

If you want instant glory, stick a tall kid in goal or anything in the air will lead to disater and a menacing kid up front. Forget width and fancy footwotk.

State of English football is due to option 2 being most common among kids.
 Banned User 77 12 Mar 2008
In reply to i.munro:
> (In reply to Fredt)
> [...]
>
>
> Yeah. I'd go with that. When your side has the ball find space. As soon as your side loses it find an unmarked man on their side & stay close to him to deny him space. I think you can go a long way with that.

It's amazing though how many players, decent footballers, will call for a ball while stood behind someone, all it would take is 2 side steps so you can see the man. The other one is turning into the man, not away from the man, watch Paul Scholes for this, always puts his body in the way and turns out. Creating space. In fact just get the kids to watch Scholes (erm apart from the tackling of course, maybe use that as the how not to..)
 glasto_mudd 12 Mar 2008
In reply to tobyfk:

am studying sports science, so where do I start?!

I would try and keep them motivated. do this by emphasising importance of skill, team work, enjoyment!!

dont focus too much on winning as that will happen if everything else is ok, and if they always loose it will make them feel rubbish!

http://www.amazon.co.uk/s/ref=nb_ss_w_h_/203-0848256-5595934?url=search-ali...

loads of good cheap books, with loads of ideas!

If you want any more help drop me an email!

Good luck!
 glasto_mudd 12 Mar 2008
In reply to tobyfk:

am studying sports science, so where do I start?!

I would try and keep them motivated. do this by emphasising importance of skill, team work, enjoyment!!

dont focus too much on winning as that will happen if everything else is ok, and if they always loose it will make them feel rubbish!

http://www.amazon.co.uk/s/ref=nb_ss_w_h_/203-0848256-5595934?url=search-ali...

loads of good cheap books, with loads of ideas!

If you want any more help drop me an email!

Good luck!

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