UKC

I do vast majority of the cooking in my gaff and now it has been announced that "the cook shall wash up". I could understand that if I sprayed the walls with tomato juice and filled the cutlery drawer with gravy, but under normal circumstances - I'm not buying it.

She'd happily live off oven dinners and "ping" meals eg near zero washing up. So if I want to eat anything freshly prepared, I'm shackled to the kitchen all night.

Fair or foul play?

In reply to iksander:

It's a no-brainer, unless she does some stuff that you don't / won't do to balance things out. If she doesn't, I'd just make fresh stuff for yourself alone!

In reply to iksander: We always did one cooks and the other washes up. That is until I got pissed off with my wife's ability to use 4 sink-fuls of dishes to make scrambled eggs on toast.

In reply to iksander:
it's not fair, unless it's in reparation for not hoovering etc.

make everyone happy, buy a dishwasher!

In reply to iksander:

As a joke, and to make a point as well, make yourself a lovely banquet and her a simple 'ping' meal?

()

In reply to iksander:

Starter and main meal and pudding for you, along with a pudding wine, and biscuits and cheese.

In reply to iksander:

Not fair. Traditional way round is that the person fortunate enough to have been cooked for does the washing up. Ungrateful woman!

In reply to Ava Adore:

Agree!

Cooking is more interesting than washing up but takes about three times longer, so it balances out overall.

In reply to iksander: I do almost all the washing up and about half of the cooking. MrsTheDog does do more cleaning and I do more tidying. Generally we both think it is imbalanced and we are both doing more than the other.

I would not be happy with all cooking and all washing up if there was not other redress. I agree that it's best to talk to her and let her know it is unfair and then cook nice stuff for yourself and leave her to sort herself out.

In reply to iksander:
no question about it...cook does not wash-up but sits in front of the telly after dinner with a single-malt whilst the 'other' does the washing-up.

That said, i am a considerate cook and wash as much as i can whilst cooking and leave things to soak

In reply to iksander:

Just not on mate. The cook does not do the dishes.

Despite being too idle to cook properly herself does this person enjoy your cooking, which I presume is delectable, if so washing up is a sign of appreciation. She is obviously reckoning on only having to wash two plates and an oven tray when she has cooked but that should be your reward for eating her cardboard crap!

In reply to Submit to Gravity:

That is until I got pissed off with my wife's ability to use 4 sink-fuls of dishes to make scrambled eggs on toast.

My ex was the same. She was like some crazy drummer that insisted on hitting every single drum and cymbal during a drum solo.

In reply to iksander:

I'm serious by the way, have something which takes preperation the day before, and go to town on your own meal, and give her a simple lasagna with some peas.

Probably depends on her personality, but if you could get away with it I would do.

You could say you can only handle so much washing up as well as cooking, so you're having to cut back on the amount you create?

Adopt a 'tum te tum' kind of expression... ()

In reply to Timmd: She loves micro lasagne and peas! Either I eat x and chips or I do everything myself

In reply to iksander:

Guess you might need to just kick up a fuss then?

In reply to iksander: Eat out.

Ok not realistic, but neither is your other half's position. If she wants to eat it, she has to do something for it. Between you, I'm sure you can find an acceptable solution. If you can't, then just cook for yourself until sense dawns.

T.
If sense doesn't dawn, consider your options. One of the least painful might be sabotaging the microwave.

In reply to Pursued by a bear:I kinda get the feeling sense might not dawn?

My own character is such that i'd point out the amount of wahsing up after a microwave meal compared to a more elaborate meal, and mention how much healthier more elaborate food can be, if the other person doens't appreciate the diffeence in taste, and insist it isn't fair.

All people approach relationships differently though, but it could only bug me for so long...

In reply to iksander:Is the housework equal or does she do more?

Guess it could balance out overall if she does most of it?

In reply to iksander: You need to train her better, in the Hewitt household the wife does all the cooking and cleaning and washing up and I pay for a meal out about once a month. It took a long time to find a woman who enjoys looking after me but the trial and error R&D was worth it.

In reply to iksander: In our Household im in from work 1st Mon-Thu so cook the evening meal, MrsHike cooks the Friday meal. Saturday and Sunday is generally a free for all of getting away with as much as possible.
When I cook, MrsHike washes up and visa versa.
But like Submit to Gravity's, MrsHike's Friday Risotto produces four days worth of washing-up and creates an arty 3D effect to the splash-back. The main pan needs an evenings soaking followed by chiselling Saturday Morning. With as much wasted food to feed a starving family. I find this very frustrating but just get on with it week after week. Im am of coarse perfect.

In reply to iksander: get a dish washer or just cook for yourself. Also is it not really bad for your health to eat ready meals all the time?

In reply to iksander: Whilst this is stating the obvious but a compromise is required.

Otherwise you may find yourself cooking and washing up for yourself all of the time without any of the other comforts of being with a partner - on your own.

Good luck

In reply to iksander: tell her to sling her hook! Divorce is on the cards for any woman who isn't worth her salt in the kitchen.... Jog on luv, plenty more useless women willing to step into your shoes.... Boom!

In reply to thin bob:

Ah, I tried that,
I knocked through some old out houses, re roofed it, re-wired,re- plumbed, put in her favourite range cooker, installed built in fridge, freezer and of course a dishwasher, and guess what, she nags me that I don't put my dishes IN the dishwasher.

He should Just accept that he will never make her happy, and don't do the dishes.

In reply to iksander:


Kick her into touch, get an obedient one instead.

I'd usually say 'foul', but in this case I do think it's fair enough - she doesn't like washing up and is just as happy to eat food that doesn't need it. So for her it's doing extra washing up just so you can have the food you like.

Of course, one could suggest that your partner should be trying to keep you happy .

I reckon do the whole nice meal for you thing - do enough for two, but keep the other half for another night to reheat.
See if she really is happy with microwave meals.
At least if you do it this way you have half the washing up from cooking as only reheating another day .

In reply to iksander:
If you want a practical compromise, maybe separate clearing the table and cleaning the kitchen from actually washing the dishes and pans.

Trying to cook more stuff that makes minimal mess or that you can wash up as you go along could help, too...

In reply to iksander:

Depends whether you get a long sloppy blow job after or not.

D

In reply to iksander: I tend to agree with your other half to be honest, if I cook then by the time I'm serving the kitchens pretty much clean anyway, all that needs doing is the plates. If you're efficient it's much easier to clean as you go rather than leaving a bomb site for everyone else to clean up after you've eaten.

In reply to Sharp: Possibly fair enought to clear away your utensils... but I get to clear the table too.

And no blow job either.

In reply to iksander:In the grand scheme of things it's no big deal I don't suppose, the kind of thing where the irritation could be greater than the hassle if you focussed on it enough.