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Had the pleasure of a non climbers company in quaffing a barrel of Yates golden ale the other evening , who at some point in the proceedings bought up the fact that he had heard the discussion on r4 that morning of climbing going into the Olympics and the fact that to be accepted it had to look good on tv . Myself and a couple of others tried to explain each of the three discipline s . He listened but still concluded that it sounded dull. The conversation rambled on about other stuff . Out of the blue he says loudly " man eating monkeys " . "What they need is man eating monkeys . The climbers start to the sound of a siren . After 10 seconds a second siren sounds and a celebrity says ........release the monkeys "
In reply to mike123: He's got a point.
I eat, sleep and breath climbing but the thought of watching a speed climbing and leading comp would bore me to tears.
I eat, sleep and breath climbing but the thought of watching a speed climbing and leading comp would bore me to tears.
In reply to deacondeacon: Not when the bmc get hold of this .
In reply to mike123: its hard to imagine a sport that couldn't be improved by the introduction of man eating monkeys.
In reply to mike123: I think I m going to patent it and look in to a breeding program . Sell the brand to sky sports and retire to our chalet in Cham .
In reply to mike123:
The celebrity is the key - without this it would be very boring.
Maybe if the climbers get away, the monkeys could eat the celebrity? In which case I'd be glad to see James Corden on telly for once.
> "What they need is man eating monkeys . The climbers start to the sound of a siren . After 10 seconds a second siren sounds and a celebrity says ........release the monkeys "
The celebrity is the key - without this it would be very boring.
Maybe if the climbers get away, the monkeys could eat the celebrity? In which case I'd be glad to see James Corden on telly for once.
In reply to The Lemming:
That would be Lemming Eating Monkeys
> (In reply to mike123)
>
> I'm confused, men eating monkeys or monkeys eating me?
>
> I'm confused, men eating monkeys or monkeys eating me?
That would be Lemming Eating Monkeys
In reply to The Lemming: So ....... There s two very hungry monkeys who ve been bred to love the taste of human flesh . They are in cages at the bottom of each of the Walls ( all dicipins ) when the siren goes the c list celeb pulls a lever releaseinfg the ravenous angry ( having been prodded with a stick ) chimp to chase the climbers who ve been given a bit of a start . Its very straight forward really .
In reply to mike123:
So why does the monkey go after the climber not the celeb that just poked it with a stick?
> (In reply to The Lemming) So ....... There s two very hungry monkeys who ve been bred to love the taste of human flesh . They are in cages at the bottom of each of the Walls ( all dicipins ) when the siren goes the c list celeb pulls a lever releaseinfg the ravenous angry ( having been prodded with a stick ) chimp to chase the climbers who ve been given a bit of a start . Its very straight forward really .
So why does the monkey go after the climber not the celeb that just poked it with a stick?
In reply to balmybaldwin: Hmmmm .... The celeb is wearing a thick leather gimp mask , the climbers are naked ?
In reply to mike123:
Anyone else remember 'climbing for dollars'?
$100 bills stuck to the holds and squirts of tear gas would complete the picture.
Anyone else remember 'climbing for dollars'?
$100 bills stuck to the holds and squirts of tear gas would complete the picture.
In reply to balmybaldwin: I think maybe the celeb should nt be trusted with the stick . That would be somebody called stick man
In reply to deacondeacon:
Agree whole-heartedly with this ! Climbing for me is DOING ! Never had much time for people pushing their E grades. I've had sport-climbers on long TD Alpine routes and they've shitted themselves-pussies !
> (In reply to mike123) He's got a point.
> I eat, sleep and breath climbing but the thought of watching a speed climbing and leading comp would bore me to tears.
> I eat, sleep and breath climbing but the thought of watching a speed climbing and leading comp would bore me to tears.
Agree whole-heartedly with this ! Climbing for me is DOING ! Never had much time for people pushing their E grades. I've had sport-climbers on long TD Alpine routes and they've shitted themselves-pussies !
In reply to wintertree: No no no no . That's just ridiculous . Rottweilers could nt give chase . The chimps will be expert wall climbers with er spider man levels of skill .
In reply to Pyreneenemec: Oh come on . Man eating monkeys . C list celebs . Sasha d in her birthday suit . It s got all the makings of a hit .
In reply to mike123: Yes, I like the concept. Can I suggest the addition of leopards though?
They look good on camera, they can, if hungry, be quite aggressive and I think an audience would feel more empathy towards them than these 'man eating monkeys'
Just sayin'. What do you think?
D.
They look good on camera, they can, if hungry, be quite aggressive and I think an audience would feel more empathy towards them than these 'man eating monkeys'
Just sayin'. What do you think?
D.
In reply to mike123:
but all you would need to do is design randomly failing holds which are guaranteed to drop the climber (maybe just electrify them instead). Keeps the pressure high but gives more of a chance.
> (In reply to wintertree) No no no no . That's just ridiculous . Rottweilers could nt give chase .
but all you would need to do is design randomly failing holds which are guaranteed to drop the climber (maybe just electrify them instead). Keeps the pressure high but gives more of a chance.
In reply to Nick Alcock: Leopards you say ? I have to say I think they would add a lot more to the overall picture than those flippin Rottweilers , but don't think it should be overly complicated . It would become like that bike thing that sounds like a beer , imagine your average sports fan ....."I get the bird with her kit off . I get the monkeys . but what s the cougar doing ? "
In reply to mike123:
Mike, it was only a suggestion. I just feel they are more photogenic and more importantly perhaps, more dangerous.
I envisage a caged area at the bottom of the wall with a few ravenous leopards prowling within.
Scantily clothed female climbers (is this sexist)? then have to "free solo" up the wall. Great incentive not to fall, plus maximum televisual experience. I think this has legs - unlike the contestants eh...
Have I gone too far? What do you thinK?
Mike, it was only a suggestion. I just feel they are more photogenic and more importantly perhaps, more dangerous.
I envisage a caged area at the bottom of the wall with a few ravenous leopards prowling within.
Scantily clothed female climbers (is this sexist)? then have to "free solo" up the wall. Great incentive not to fall, plus maximum televisual experience. I think this has legs - unlike the contestants eh...
Have I gone too far? What do you thinK?
In reply to mike123:
Another idea..just off the top of my head runituptheflagpoleseeifanyonesalutes...
This could be a winner. A DWS event. Tank with crocodiles underneath®
Can you imagine the ratings?
®Dervish 2013
Another idea..just off the top of my head runituptheflagpoleseeifanyonesalutes...
This could be a winner. A DWS event. Tank with crocodiles underneath®
Can you imagine the ratings?
®Dervish 2013
In reply to Nick Alcock: Firstly let's dismiss the electric holds . I m very wary of any of that since that incident from my rope access days . I still reckon my twitch is down to that . Any ways .. If you insist on the leopards it's just as a side show, maybe being led around on leads growling . The main event is still monkey based , that s none negotiable . Can't really see the crocodiles adding much . A but too slimy for my liking.
In reply to mike123:
And what about a money making Phone-in?
You could vote who to save and who to feed to the monkeys. And after the watershed, some casual sex for lucky audience members and c-list stars.
And what about a money making Phone-in?
You could vote who to save and who to feed to the monkeys. And after the watershed, some casual sex for lucky audience members and c-list stars.
In reply to Kelcat:
Snooker?
> (In reply to mike123) its hard to imagine a sport that couldn't be improved by the introduction of man eating monkeys.
Snooker?
In reply to mike123:
OK, I hear what you are saying. If leopards are out and electric holds and crocodiles are verboten, how about giant foam 'sweeper'® thing like they have on that Richard 'wanker' Hammond programme?
It periodically 'wipes' all climbers off the wall. (Into a pit of vipers)*
As it's the Olympics then drug testing should be rigorous for all.
®Dervish2013
*This bit is not obligatory, but quite exciting.
OK, I hear what you are saying. If leopards are out and electric holds and crocodiles are verboten, how about giant foam 'sweeper'® thing like they have on that Richard 'wanker' Hammond programme?
It periodically 'wipes' all climbers off the wall. (Into a pit of vipers)*
As it's the Olympics then drug testing should be rigorous for all.
®Dervish2013
*This bit is not obligatory, but quite exciting.
In reply to Nick Alcock: i think I m coming round to the leopards . would the sweeper be able to miss the monkeys ? We don't want the animal rights brigade on our backs , just when we ve got sky intrested
In reply to Nick Alcock: Forget the snakes . No f@:;g way .
In reply to mike123:
Mike. I agree. We certainly don't want to stir up those animal rights bastards.
I'm glad you like the leopards. They are very 'visual' animals and I think we can work with and around them.
As for the 'sweeper'® device, I think we have to look at what will appeal to the TV audience.
Perhaps we should set up a committee to look into this?
We certainly don't want our fantastic sport to miss out in the next olympic games. Do we?
PS. How much dosh is involved? Any idea?
Mike. I agree. We certainly don't want to stir up those animal rights bastards.
I'm glad you like the leopards. They are very 'visual' animals and I think we can work with and around them.
As for the 'sweeper'® device, I think we have to look at what will appeal to the TV audience.
Perhaps we should set up a committee to look into this?
We certainly don't want our fantastic sport to miss out in the next olympic games. Do we?
PS. How much dosh is involved? Any idea?
In reply to mike123: When we were clearing the wife's old house in rural Aus she was very busy and pre occupied and sent me off to the shed at the bottom of the block to get something . When I was almost there she came chasing after me shouting stop . She then walked with me stamping here feet and generally carrying on . "sorry mike . I forgot to tell you about the taipan . He came with the house . " . I hate snakes.
In reply to mike123:
OK Mike. Calm down luvvy.
Forget the bloody snakes. Sorry I mentioned them.
Lets just get back to reality. For God's sake get a grip, and read my latest proposals.
Dervish
OK Mike. Calm down luvvy.
Forget the bloody snakes. Sorry I mentioned them.
Lets just get back to reality. For God's sake get a grip, and read my latest proposals.
Dervish
In reply to Nick Alcock: Not sure on the dosh yet . But it will be tasty . I reckon if we use the leopard idea I d go 70 /30 . No leopards and it s 80 /20 . As long as we re clear on the snakes .
In reply to Nick Alcock: Good to hear you ve seen sense on the snakes . I ve stooped shouting now .
In reply to deacondeacon:
Oh I dunno the leading comps were quite good when they were telly-vised. certainly no more boring than snooker or cricket
Oh I dunno the leading comps were quite good when they were telly-vised. certainly no more boring than snooker or cricket
In reply to mike123:
Quite clear Mike. Nada snakes. I hate the sods too.
It was just an idea to spice up the unmitigated boredom of watching people who aren't us, or anyone we are remotely interested in climbing up a plastic wall, while some tit of a commentator tries to make it vaguely exciting..."and as Tarquin makes an egyptian to the double dyno....we applaud the athleticism of the blah blah blah...but the Russian has an unbelievable ability to crimp the smallest holds..."
Jaysus, Mike. I want the leopards matey.
Quite clear Mike. Nada snakes. I hate the sods too.
It was just an idea to spice up the unmitigated boredom of watching people who aren't us, or anyone we are remotely interested in climbing up a plastic wall, while some tit of a commentator tries to make it vaguely exciting..."and as Tarquin makes an egyptian to the double dyno....we applaud the athleticism of the blah blah blah...but the Russian has an unbelievable ability to crimp the smallest holds..."
Jaysus, Mike. I want the leopards matey.
In reply to Duncan Bourne:
Duncan, Duncan, Duncan...no more boring than snooker?
Do you hear what you are writing? Does the world need something 'no more boring than snooker'?
And this to be a new spectacular olympic event.
Not exactly the 100 metres is it.
Bring on the leopards, I say.
What say you Duncan?
D.
Duncan, Duncan, Duncan...no more boring than snooker?
Do you hear what you are writing? Does the world need something 'no more boring than snooker'?
And this to be a new spectacular olympic event.
Not exactly the 100 metres is it.
Bring on the leopards, I say.
What say you Duncan?
D.
In reply to Nick Alcock: how are the figures sounding re the splits ? I m not sur yet what kinda of "payment" will need to be made to the RSPCA for thier supervision of both the monkeys and the leopards , it will probably be two different departments and this will cut into the bottom line . Fingers crossed on that one .
In reply to Duncan Bourne: Duncan where do stand on animal rights ? Just monkeys or monkeys and leopards ?
In reply to Nick Alcock:
Leopards? nah they don't climb all that well.
Now monkeys with chainsaws....eh? eh? You know it makes sense
> Bring on the leopards, I say.
>
> What say you Duncan?
>
> D.
>
> What say you Duncan?
>
> D.
Leopards? nah they don't climb all that well.
Now monkeys with chainsaws....eh? eh? You know it makes sense
In reply to Duncan Bourne: I think you missed the point with the leopards duncy . It s kinda of a side dish , sort of leopard aloo to the monkey madras
In reply to mike123:
Mike. Off the record, and on the record too, the olympic chaps are very excited about all this.
They have been wavering and dickering about this 'climbing' thing for a while.
It's all down to dosh. And as you say 'the splits'.
We must protect our ideas® to protect our bottom line. There is no length that these people will go to to shaft our stipend.
Dervish.
Mike. Off the record, and on the record too, the olympic chaps are very excited about all this.
They have been wavering and dickering about this 'climbing' thing for a while.
It's all down to dosh. And as you say 'the splits'.
We must protect our ideas® to protect our bottom line. There is no length that these people will go to to shaft our stipend.
Dervish.
In reply to Duncan Bourne:
Oh Duncan. I think you will find that a leopard climbs (if you will forgive me) a damn site better than you luvvy.
However, I think you are missing the bigger point. Mike and I are desperately trying to extricate some much needed coin of the realm from the powers that be ie. the olympic money pit, by spicing up the excruciatingly boring spectacle of people falling off (without hurting themselves FFS!) an indoor wall.
If it isn't leopards then it has to be something else. Incidentally, I have copywrited all my ideas®, so don't think for a moment you can use them in one of your so called cartoons.
My people will be down on you like a ton of monkeys with chainsaws.
Much love, Dervish
Oh Duncan. I think you will find that a leopard climbs (if you will forgive me) a damn site better than you luvvy.
However, I think you are missing the bigger point. Mike and I are desperately trying to extricate some much needed coin of the realm from the powers that be ie. the olympic money pit, by spicing up the excruciatingly boring spectacle of people falling off (without hurting themselves FFS!) an indoor wall.
If it isn't leopards then it has to be something else. Incidentally, I have copywrited all my ideas®, so don't think for a moment you can use them in one of your so called cartoons.
My people will be down on you like a ton of monkeys with chainsaws.
Much love, Dervish
In reply to Nick Alcock:
I beg to differ. What has a leopard ever done on grit eh?
You may have copyright on the leopards & monkeys (the chainsaws were my idea by the way) but I reckon that I am on to a winner with my Kamikazi fruitbat, funnelweb spider, psychotic gibbons (with machetes) and crocodile/pirahna pit extravaganza
> (In reply to Duncan Bourne)
>
> Oh Duncan. I think you will find that a leopard climbs (if you will forgive me) a damn site better than you luvvy.
>
> Oh Duncan. I think you will find that a leopard climbs (if you will forgive me) a damn site better than you luvvy.
I beg to differ. What has a leopard ever done on grit eh?
> However, I think you are missing the bigger point. Mike and I are desperately trying to extricate some much needed coin of the realm from the powers that be ie. the olympic money pit, by spicing up the excruciatingly boring spectacle of people falling off (without hurting themselves FFS!) an indoor wall.
You may have copyright on the leopards & monkeys (the chainsaws were my idea by the way) but I reckon that I am on to a winner with my Kamikazi fruitbat, funnelweb spider, psychotic gibbons (with machetes) and crocodile/pirahna pit extravaganza
In reply to Duncan Bourne:
Duncan old bean, have you ever seen a leopard on Congo Corner? I have.
I admit it was quite late and after a curry, but I can assure you he quite literally leapt up it, he then down climbed Left Unconquerable and ran down the crag to Quietus where he just kind of hung out for a while.
We talked later in the pub, and he was just purring...what a guy!
As to your infringements on my copyrighted ideas, I'm afraid that you will soon find that you have no leg to stand on. I spit on your funnel web and say bah to your Gibbon.
I remain
Dervish
Duncan old bean, have you ever seen a leopard on Congo Corner? I have.
I admit it was quite late and after a curry, but I can assure you he quite literally leapt up it, he then down climbed Left Unconquerable and ran down the crag to Quietus where he just kind of hung out for a while.
We talked later in the pub, and he was just purring...what a guy!
As to your infringements on my copyrighted ideas, I'm afraid that you will soon find that you have no leg to stand on. I spit on your funnel web and say bah to your Gibbon.
I remain
Dervish
In reply to Nick Alcock:
That was no leopard that was Marc C in one of his old leotards!
(I realise that the above statement seems to imply that Marc could somehow "climb" the given routes. To which I will say "nylon wire" and an old fashioned body double if you catch my drift)
God its hard to type whnen pissed
That was no leopard that was Marc C in one of his old leotards!
(I realise that the above statement seems to imply that Marc could somehow "climb" the given routes. To which I will say "nylon wire" and an old fashioned body double if you catch my drift)
God its hard to type whnen pissed
In reply to Duncan Bourne: Right you two it seems we have several points to clemar up . I went up to bed last night and ran your ideas by my wife . I have to say her response was somewhat coarse . I could nt work out how I was supposed to f&£k off and also go to to sleep . Anyway s her loss . Look I think duncy has some good ideas but does seem to get a bit carried away. Some things to think about . Most importantly where is dunc s share coming from ? Since you got him on board dervish I think its only fair that his cut comes out of yours ? It s up to you two to work that out . Next , I can see the chain saws working but may be it needs some thought . I m thinking may be have some smaller monkeys pre positioned on the wall (cappucins or something ) with short reaches . A particularly hard move allows the climber to avoid certain mutilation . Any falling body parts will be scooped up and consumed by the leopards. Finally dunc . No spiders . No f£&ing way. Let me know what you think about the cappucins .
In reply to Duncan Bourne: i just googled cappucin monkey + chainsaw and came up with this :
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2302108/This-Bradford-housewife-say...
looking at her shoes she is 100% a climber and will be perfect for the role of chain saw monkey guard / tamer . let me know your thoughts.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2302108/This-Bradford-housewife-say...
looking at her shoes she is 100% a climber and will be perfect for the role of chain saw monkey guard / tamer . let me know your thoughts.
In reply to mike123:
Good grief Mike. Now THAT is really scary...
How are we doing on the dosh front?
Good grief Mike. Now THAT is really scary...
How are we doing on the dosh front?
In reply to Nick Alcock: hi dervish , i thought you shared my vision of bringing our sport to the masses ? with perhaps a little taste on the side. it just seems to be money money money with you. i m worried too about dunc. he s certainly an ideas man but i think his drinking might get in the way of any deal. anyway. news.my contact at the rspca liked the idea but cant really much help until he gets out. do you think we should ditch the chain saws and dunc with them ?
In reply to mike123:
Mike. I have no problem with sport and masses and an event all done "in the best possible taste", of course.
Sorry you think I'm fixated on the money, but leopards don't come cheap and neither do IDEAS.
So there has to be a healthy old wedge in this enterprise. I bet Seb Coe was 'looked after'...
Yes, Duncan may well prove to be a "loose cannon" but I think if he can manage to keep the drinking under control and stop sniffing the latrines, he could well prove useful.
Chainsaws are always cool.
D.
Mike. I have no problem with sport and masses and an event all done "in the best possible taste", of course.
Sorry you think I'm fixated on the money, but leopards don't come cheap and neither do IDEAS.
So there has to be a healthy old wedge in this enterprise. I bet Seb Coe was 'looked after'...
Yes, Duncan may well prove to be a "loose cannon" but I think if he can manage to keep the drinking under control and stop sniffing the latrines, he could well prove useful.
Chainsaws are always cool.
D.
In reply to Nick Alcock: D. no word yet from the BMC, i expected them to return my calls today but nothing . I called 7 times on monday but each time nobody answered ? Anyway I left 6 messages each explaining further details of our scheme . The 7th time the it just rang and rang . I thinking we are going to struggle to find money for leopards and chainsaws including risk assessments. I still not happy with booze boy being onboard the ship, but its your call ? let me know what you think .
In reply to mike123:
Mike. I'm very concerned about the lack of interest from the BMC. I must say that I've always suspected that they tend to go for the 'safe' option-so no surprises there. Have you tried to contact Scott Titt direct? For all we know he may have 'a thing' about monkeys/leopards. This could work to our advantage.
My strategy would be to go straight to the IOC. They know a good thing when they see it, and they don't seem averse to the odd 'bung'.
I do share your concerns about 'booze boy' but he did once draw a 'caricature' of me.
On reflection perhaps he had been 'sniffing the latrines' at the time, as it looks nothing like me.
However, I still think that he may have something to offer in an 'off the wall' (and his head) role.
D.
Mike. I'm very concerned about the lack of interest from the BMC. I must say that I've always suspected that they tend to go for the 'safe' option-so no surprises there. Have you tried to contact Scott Titt direct? For all we know he may have 'a thing' about monkeys/leopards. This could work to our advantage.
My strategy would be to go straight to the IOC. They know a good thing when they see it, and they don't seem averse to the odd 'bung'.
I do share your concerns about 'booze boy' but he did once draw a 'caricature' of me.
On reflection perhaps he had been 'sniffing the latrines' at the time, as it looks nothing like me.
However, I still think that he may have something to offer in an 'off the wall' (and his head) role.
D.
In reply to Nick Alcock: D. re the BMC I share your concern. I ve always sturggled to do deals with conservatives. the big "C" lot are very easy to "sway" and make to see "sense". Fair does. if they want to miss out on the big one, so be it. its time we took steps to move this forward. I wonder if there is any milage contacting big scott re his monkey/leopard/chainsaw preferences ? i think this could be your move ? i m guessing you ve tried laterines anon for dunc s problem ? i m trusting you to sort this one D, we cant let the odd public toilet faux pas get in the way here.
In reply to mike123:
Mike. I do hope that this project isn't slipping through our chalk stained fingers.
Dunc. is off the air - goodness knows what he's up to. I did contact the Latrines Help Line, but they assured me that they are now using non habit forming fluids and have been for some time. I can only assume that he has somehow found a 'stash' and is back to his old tricks. No wonder he's hitting the booze, poor bugger!
I'm guessing that given the importance of this upcoming event that 'Scott Baby' will be viewing this thread with a great deal of excitement...he will want it to work. Indeed his very future hangs like a monkey on it.
As to 'public toilet faux pas', Let's let bygones be bygones. We were all young once.
D.
Mike. I do hope that this project isn't slipping through our chalk stained fingers.
Dunc. is off the air - goodness knows what he's up to. I did contact the Latrines Help Line, but they assured me that they are now using non habit forming fluids and have been for some time. I can only assume that he has somehow found a 'stash' and is back to his old tricks. No wonder he's hitting the booze, poor bugger!
I'm guessing that given the importance of this upcoming event that 'Scott Baby' will be viewing this thread with a great deal of excitement...he will want it to work. Indeed his very future hangs like a monkey on it.
As to 'public toilet faux pas', Let's let bygones be bygones. We were all young once.
D.
In reply to Nick Alcock: monkey/leopard/chainsaw . it has a certain ring and the more times i type it in my countless emails , text messages , letters and answer phone messages to the bmc , the more excited i become. do you know D what comes up third on google when you search that combo ? .........amazing isnt it ? we are moving forward D. moving forward.
In reply to mike123: D. i m worried about dunc. do you think i upset him with my suggestion to "cut him loose " ?
In reply to mike123:
Mike. MLC. That should appeal to the 'powers that be'.
Very exciting. Forward is the only way to go. I have a great enthusiasm for the mission. I can feel in my water that there is a bundle of spondulicks to be had here Mike...these people think nothing of dining at the Ivy every night then going on to 'ahem' clubs. Need I say more?
Have you tried to get Bonners on board?
D.
Mike. MLC. That should appeal to the 'powers that be'.
Very exciting. Forward is the only way to go. I have a great enthusiasm for the mission. I can feel in my water that there is a bundle of spondulicks to be had here Mike...these people think nothing of dining at the Ivy every night then going on to 'ahem' clubs. Need I say more?
Have you tried to get Bonners on board?
D.
In reply to mike123:
Don't fret about Duncs. I think he may have gone on 'retreat' (if you know what I mean)?
D.
Don't fret about Duncs. I think he may have gone on 'retreat' (if you know what I mean)?
D.
In reply to Nick Alcock: slight problem with sir chris D. last time i saw him he was walking from booths to the main car park in keswick with two large and heavey looking carrier bags. i was faffing in the bag of my van next to the library with a frankly ridiculous combination of children,bikes , push chairs and a parrot. unfortunatly i shouted what i thought was a witty amusing comment involving a popular tribal people from the himalaya. my wife immediatly informed me that amongst several other things i was : neither of the above , was deeply embarrasing and yet again used the "t" word that she knows i dislike. its possible that sir chris did nt hear me but its also possible that my card is marked. any other mountain celebs we can turn to ?
In reply to mike123:
Sorry to hear about your unfortunate experience in Keswick. This could, and believe me, happen to anyone.
As for the "t" word I couldn't agree more. As for "cards being marked" what can I say?
Mountain celebs? Well there's always old whasname off the telly. What do you think? Worth a punt, or are we digging a hole here? Perhaps we should tap up Gordon Stainforth, he's quite famous?
We must not loose sight of our original concept. Making rock climbing slightly interesting for the viewer.
How much is now in the coffers?
D.
Sorry to hear about your unfortunate experience in Keswick. This could, and believe me, happen to anyone.
As for the "t" word I couldn't agree more. As for "cards being marked" what can I say?
Mountain celebs? Well there's always old whasname off the telly. What do you think? Worth a punt, or are we digging a hole here? Perhaps we should tap up Gordon Stainforth, he's quite famous?
We must not loose sight of our original concept. Making rock climbing slightly interesting for the viewer.
How much is now in the coffers?
D.
In reply to Removed User:
Snooker isn't a sport. It's a game.
> (In reply to Removed UserKelcat)
> [...]
>
> Snooker?
> [...]
>
> Snooker?
Snooker isn't a sport. It's a game.
In reply to 999thAndy:
Two questions.
a) Why do you get snooker players on A Question of Sport then?
b) Why is football called "the beautiful game"?
I think the monkeys should be armed with those 1 million volt cattle prod things and the wall placed above a pool of hungry white sharks.
Double the spectacle.
Who do I send my invoice for consultancy fee to?
> (In reply to Eric9Points)
> [...]
>
> Snooker isn't a sport. It's a game.
> [...]
>
> Snooker isn't a sport. It's a game.
Two questions.
a) Why do you get snooker players on A Question of Sport then?
b) Why is football called "the beautiful game"?
I think the monkeys should be armed with those 1 million volt cattle prod things and the wall placed above a pool of hungry white sharks.
Double the spectacle.
Who do I send my invoice for consultancy fee to?
In reply to Nick Alcock: D. you may be right. Gordy is just the kind of "a" list mountain celeb we need on board to get this project out the doldrums and give it some much needed celebrity pzaz. can you handle this one ? i feel that after upsetting sir chris, again, i may not be the best person to liase with so called "mountain royalty" and get them singing from out hymn sheet. on a positive note i think we may have a new ideas man in our midst. eric seems just the kind of man we need to replace dunc . 1 million volts you say eric ? that sounds like an awful lot of volts eric . are you sure about the the numbers ? see above about various concerns about the animal rights brigagde. let me know what you both think .
In reply to Removed User:
a) To keep the title at a reasonable length (although now we have widescreen TVs, 'A Question of Sport, Games and Pastimes' would be possible)
b) It's mind games to convince us that watching 22 blokes chase a ball for 90 minutes is some kind of privilege worth spending money on.
> (In reply to Removed User999thAndy)
> [...]
>
> Two questions.
>
> a) Why do you get snooker players on A Question of Sport then?
> b) Why is football called "the beautiful game"?
>
> [...]
>
> Two questions.
>
> a) Why do you get snooker players on A Question of Sport then?
> b) Why is football called "the beautiful game"?
>
a) To keep the title at a reasonable length (although now we have widescreen TVs, 'A Question of Sport, Games and Pastimes' would be possible)
b) It's mind games to convince us that watching 22 blokes chase a ball for 90 minutes is some kind of privilege worth spending money on.
In reply to mike123: Mike. On reflection I'm not sure about GS. He's something of a wordsmith but I wonder if he's the "mountain royalty" you have in mind? Also how can we be certain which "hymn sheet" he will "sing" from?
I very much fear that you were completely right about Duncs from the word go. He's gone completely off the air. I think it may be due to a recurrence of his old "problem"?
As to Eric. Agreed. He also has a healthy interest in invoicing, which I find encouraging. My only concern is his obsession with snooker.
I like the sound of 1million volts.
D.
I very much fear that you were completely right about Duncs from the word go. He's gone completely off the air. I think it may be due to a recurrence of his old "problem"?
As to Eric. Agreed. He also has a healthy interest in invoicing, which I find encouraging. My only concern is his obsession with snooker.
I like the sound of 1million volts.
D.
In reply to Nick Alcock: I m with you D , 1 million volts has just the fizz we are looking for here. So are we agreed ditch the chain saws and with them drunky duncy ? Not so sure about the name , as monkey leopard chainsaw had a real ring and got us number 3 in the google search s . Back to square one on the name front then but with Eric and his I millin volts on board ship I m sure that hurdle can be vaulted . Good news is I ve been village bound today so minimal chance of mountain a list faux pas . Erm actually not strictly true but I really tried to keep my head down D , I really did. Any way I d say bearly B list and sonot worth worrying too much about . Think Eric nneeds to gen up on what's been counted out so far and then rustle us up a nice fat one. Name that is . Eric ?
In reply to mike123: D , I think GS might be still a goer . Beggars can't be choosers D .
In reply to mike123:
Cheers Mike.
I'm thinking that the name Megavolt MEMs has a bit of ring to it, MEMs standing for Man Eating Monkeys of course. However if you're unsure about that I could subcontract the blue shy thinking to a PR consultancy I deal with, once we've sorted out the invoicing details.
Another thought is that introducing high voltages could enhance the spectator experience further by connecting the holds up to lights or fireworks or suchlike so that every time a connection is made the crowd is treated to a spectacular visual experience as the ex competitor plummets into the shark infested pool beneath.
Cheers Mike.
I'm thinking that the name Megavolt MEMs has a bit of ring to it, MEMs standing for Man Eating Monkeys of course. However if you're unsure about that I could subcontract the blue shy thinking to a PR consultancy I deal with, once we've sorted out the invoicing details.
Another thought is that introducing high voltages could enhance the spectator experience further by connecting the holds up to lights or fireworks or suchlike so that every time a connection is made the crowd is treated to a spectacular visual experience as the ex competitor plummets into the shark infested pool beneath.
In reply to Removed User: see D, despite your concerns about E and his ball fixation I knew we had our man: mega volt mem s . genius. now we have the problem of leopard or shark. cat v fish if you will. D did bring the leopards to the party so to speak, and they are much more visual and shall i venture a tad cheaper. let me know what you think.
In reply to mike123: Mike. I'm thinking bugger the olympics, let's just sell THE IDEA© to Channel 4, Skye etc., or get a bidding war going between the TV channels.
Like Eric, I can't wait to invoice someone for something.
As for the minutiae of leopards/sharks (weren't crocodiles in the frame at some time)? I couldn't give a toss...let's just sell THE IDEA© to the highest bidder, take the dosh and move on to a new project.
Channel 4 will cock it up no matter what we suggest.
Have you any useful contacts in TV?
D.
Like Eric, I can't wait to invoice someone for something.
As for the minutiae of leopards/sharks (weren't crocodiles in the frame at some time)? I couldn't give a toss...let's just sell THE IDEA© to the highest bidder, take the dosh and move on to a new project.
Channel 4 will cock it up no matter what we suggest.
Have you any useful contacts in TV?
D.
In reply to Nick Alcock:
Yes, I had just the same thoughts Dervish.
Market this as a kind of grown up version of Total Wipeout. When you consider the size of the "consideration fees" we'll need to pay the IOC delegates to get climbing into the Olympics we'll get a much better margin selling this as a TV series concept to Sky or CH5 or Dave (the TV channel not the bloke in the BMC obviously).
Do you think it's too early to set up a procution company and should we ask the BMC if they want to buy a share in it?
Yes, I had just the same thoughts Dervish.
Market this as a kind of grown up version of Total Wipeout. When you consider the size of the "consideration fees" we'll need to pay the IOC delegates to get climbing into the Olympics we'll get a much better margin selling this as a TV series concept to Sky or CH5 or Dave (the TV channel not the bloke in the BMC obviously).
Do you think it's too early to set up a procution company and should we ask the BMC if they want to buy a share in it?
In reply to Removed User: Eric. Great to hear that you agree with the TV possibilities. I can't quite see Richard 'wanker' Hammond presenting this one though.
The joy of all this is that we won't have to deal with all those cocks at the IOC with their 'shall we, shan't we? in out, shake it all about, cross my palm with silver bollocks.
I think we need to get Mike's input on all this, as it's all very much his 'baby'.
Who do you trust at the BMC?
D.
The joy of all this is that we won't have to deal with all those cocks at the IOC with their 'shall we, shan't we? in out, shake it all about, cross my palm with silver bollocks.
I think we need to get Mike's input on all this, as it's all very much his 'baby'.
Who do you trust at the BMC?
D.
In reply to Nick Alcock:
Let me get back to you on that one Dervish.
>
> Who do you trust at the BMC?
>
> D.
> Who do you trust at the BMC?
>
> D.
Let me get back to you on that one Dervish.
In reply to Removed User: Eric. I thought this might prove to be a stumbling block, do we really need them? The Idea© is strong enough to run. The more people we involve the further we have to split the stipend.
What's happened to Mike?
D.
What's happened to Mike?
D.
In reply to Nick Alcock: Apol s you two , laying "low" for a couple of days . Will check in when I can put my head above the "parapet "!. Thought you two would have roughed the cat v fish up a bit ?
In reply to mike123: Mike - Dammit all this Thatcher kerfufle seems to have got in the way of our enterprise.
There's 'laying low' and there's 'laying low'.
Just saying.
D.
There's 'laying low' and there's 'laying low'.
Just saying.
D.
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