/ Mixed Signals from Girl

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Unrequited - on 28 Sep 2013
So, I met a great girl at a wedding last weekend and we got on really well. Other people even commented on it.

We swapped numbers and have been texting a few times during the week. I rang her on Thursday to ask if she was around over the weekend, she didn't answer but I left a message and she phoned back within the hour.

We had a good conversation, lots of laughter etc but she said that she was going to have to work over the weekend so couldn't commit to anything. She also said that she's got some big deal going through at the moment (she's a lawyer) but that it had to be completed by oct 10. She said, until then, she was going to be working all hours etc. She did, however, ask if I was going to be around after that.

Is she actually blowing me off in a nice way or should I bide my time? Seems I'm getting mixed signals because if it was the other way round I wouldn't have called back and would have just texted to say that I was busy and definitely not put a specific date on it.

What do you reckon?
Catriona on 28 Sep 2013
In reply to Unrequited:

At the wedding, was this girl wearing a big white dress?
JoshOvki on 28 Sep 2013
In reply to Unrequited:

Seems pretty reasonable if she has a stressy job and lots on at the moment. Just saying she is busy and gives you a date when it is over, and not "Yeah I am busy indefinitely" is a good sign.

Doesn't seem mixed at all, if she text you then then she definitely would have been blowing you off
Turdus torquatus on 28 Sep 2013
In reply to Unrequited:
>
> Is she actually blowing me off in a nice way or should I bide my time?

Most blokes just have a sixth sense for knowing when they're being blown off.
ripper - on 28 Sep 2013
In reply to Unrequited: them signals seem pretty unmixed to me - she's stupidly busy for a while but is keen enough to want to see you when things calm down a bit. sounds like she's displaying a refreshingly unfeminine straightforwardness (at least compared to some of the stuff being mentioned on the other thread) whereas you are displaying a very feminine ability to read all sorts of not-really-there hidden meanings into a fairly unambiguous statement! sorry if that sounds overly harsh...
abseil on 28 Sep 2013
In reply to Unrequited:
>...Is she actually... What do you reckon?

My guess is, no she isn't. Wish you luck.
Unrequited - on 28 Sep 2013
In reply to Unrequited:

Thanks. Was just having a temporary wobble. She's hot. And smart. Works for me.

Just remembered she also text earlier in the week saying (if we don't meet up) 'it's only because of work and not because I'm avoiding you.'

I blame the fact that I'm decorating today which is perhaps the most mind numbing lay dull task in the history of the world....
JoshOvki on 28 Sep 2013
In reply to Unrequited:

Good man! :)

Take a breather and don't expect the worst.
In reply to Unrequited: It doesn't really matter what you, me or anyone else thinks about it, one thing is for sure - your best chance of being sunk to the nuts in guts lies in being patient replying that you understand and that you are looking forward to seeing her and then waiting for 10th October.
Bob Hughes - on 28 Sep 2013
In reply to Unrequited: Sounds like good vibes to me.
aln - on 28 Sep 2013
In reply to Submit to Gravity:
> (In reply to Unrequited) sunk to the nuts in guts

Such a delightful turn of phrase.

The Green Giant - on 28 Sep 2013
In reply to Turdus torquatus:
> (In reply to Unrequited)
> [...]
>
> Most blokes just have a sixth sense for knowing when they're being blown off.

Really? I see men desperately hanging on to girls all the time. Regardless whether its a girl they just met in a club/bar/pub or after a long term relationship.

To the OP, send her a text every so often up to the date she gave you. Not too often though, just enough to et her know you're still interested. Then if she doesn't get in direct contact after she's finished her work, give her a ring a couple of days after and ask if she wants to do something on the weekend.
The Lemming - on 28 Sep 2013
In reply to Unrequited:

ask her if she is up for performing on skype.

If she says yes then you have a keeper.
Trangia - on 28 Sep 2013
In reply to Unrequited:
> (In reply to Unrequited)
>
> >
> Just remembered she also text earlier in the week saying (if we don't meet up) 'it's only because of work and not because I'm avoiding you.'
>


How more specific do you expect her to be? I wouldn't call that a mixed message. Of course she is interested!

lowersharpnose - on 28 Sep 2013
In reply to Unrequited:

You must start by believing her.

Only a couple of weeks to wait.
Turdus torquatus on 28 Sep 2013
In reply to The Green Giant:

Yes, I think I've always been aware that I'm being blown off. I've nodded off straight afterwards though.
Run_Ross_Run - on 28 Sep 2013
In reply to Unrequited:

Its only 10 days. You're not too bothered about waiting that long are you? If you got on well with her then its worth waiting i would have thought.

Unless you've got a better offer that is ;)
aln - on 28 Sep 2013
In reply to Turdus torquatus:
> (In reply to The Green Giant)
>
> Yes, I think I've always been aware that I'm being blown off.

The skit on this subject by Bill Hicks is worth a look.
I think you've had enough.
You'll KNOW when I've had enough.
In reply to Unrequited: my mate as a lawyer would disappear when work was manic. He'd even have shirts delivered to work so he could continue.

Hold out and see
mgco3 - on 28 Sep 2013
In reply to Unrequited:

Give her some space until after the 10th.

If she really likes you she will be in touch. WIN!!

If she doesn't get in touch then you haven't wasted any time on her . WIN!!

Either way - Win..

Its only a couple of weeks. If you hastle her and she really is busy you may lose!!

Chill out and do some climbing ..
Dave Perry - on 28 Sep 2013
In reply to Unrequited:

I agree that you should give her some space. She's made it 100% clear where she stands. If you keep sending her too many texts/telephone calls she'll think you either don't listen/understand or that you are just 'too much'.

Perhaps try to imagine if you were under a lot of pressure at work and in the same situation - what would you expect from the other person?

I guess as a lawyer she'd be pretty clear about it if she didn't want to see you!!!

Good Luck!!
Unrequited - on 28 Sep 2013
In reply to Unrequited:

She finished work earlier than she thought she would today, called and we're meeting later.

Seems I'm rusty with this sort of thing!

Ah well, all's well that ends well...
thin bob on 28 Sep 2013
In reply to Unrequited:
<massive generalisation alert>
refreshing for a woman to be straightforward and specific :-)

mates who are legals *do* do this from time to time,
to the extent of having to rescue them from work to take a bath ( a proper girl bath, with candles, oils and implements. Including largely undressing them and sitting on the floor by the bath to get earache and provide support, foot maintenance etc.) .

so, yeah, she sounds interested :-)
depending on your style & character, first date: large cocktail, taxi or short walk, decompression time
or
tequila and (horizontal?) dancing.

Don't be too good or compliant or it might slip into The Friend Zone ;-)

Good luck, a pinch of understanding would go a long way, but make it reasonably plain that you're interested in good times away from work and her charms of a non-legal nature.

thin bob on 28 Sep 2013
In reply to Unrequited:
just seen 20:10 update. woohoo! have fun, you crazy kids! :-)
In reply to Unrequited: top bollox!!!!!! Good luck fella
footwork - on 28 Sep 2013
In reply to Unrequited: UKC is going down the f*cking drain.
alasdair19 on 28 Sep 2013
In reply to Unrequited: lawyers work crazy hours so entirely reasonable. Fukc like bunnies though....
Andrew Lodge - on 28 Sep 2013
In reply to Unrequited: We need an update in the morning!!!!!!!!
aln - on 28 Sep 2013
In reply to footwork:
> (In reply to Unrequited) UKC is going down the f*cking drain.

Apparently it's been doing that since I joined 10 years ago,
Orgsm on 28 Sep 2013
In reply to Turdus torquatus:
> Most blokes just have a sixth sense for knowing when they're being blown off.

I don't need a sixth sense to know when I'm being blown off

Father Noel Furlong on 28 Sep 2013
In reply to Unrequited:

Holy shit...is this what the world has sunk to? We don't know you and we don't this woman. How the f***are we meant to be offering relationship advice. MTF up.
stroppygob - on 28 Sep 2013
In reply to Unrequited:

Write back and tell her... "I would wait until the end of eternity to see you again, though the days will be years and the nights long and lonely...





Ps. Are you into anal?
Rob Exile Ward on 28 Sep 2013
In reply to Father Noel Furlong:'Holy shit...is this what the world has sunk to? We don't know you and we don't this woman. How the f***are we meant to be offering relationship advice. MTF up.'

You are so right. God I love this site!
ripper - on 29 Sep 2013
In reply to Unrequited: no update yet - evening must be going well. or really really badly...
Oceanrower - on 29 Sep 2013
In reply to ripper: What with this and the stolen bike thread, can't bring myself to go to bed.

Better than Eastenders this!
Unrequited - on 29 Sep 2013
In reply to Unrequited:

Evening. Was excellent. Exciting times aheads....
Unrequited - on 29 Sep 2013
In reply to Unrequited:

That will serve me right for typing quickly on my phone!
In reply to Unrequited:
> (In reply to Unrequited)
>
> That will serve me right for typing quickly on my phone!

With a sticky finger?
John_Hat - on 29 Sep 2013
In reply to Unrequited:
> (In reply to Unrequited)
>
> Thanks. Was just having a temporary wobble. She's hot. And smart. Works for me.
>
> Just remembered she also text earlier in the week saying (if we don't meet up) 'it's only because of work and not because I'm avoiding you.'
>

Sounds like you've found someone who communicates honestly and openly, and also understands what mixed signals are and is going out of the way to ensure they don't occur.

Which, IMHO, is a rarity.

Bulls Crack - on 29 Sep 2013
In reply to Unrequited:

>
> Is she actually blowing me off in a nice way or should I bide my time?


There's a bad way?
ads.ukclimbing.com
mgco3 - on 30 Sep 2013
In reply to Unrequited:

I used to go out with a girl who was a Morse Code Operator in the Signals..

She didit didit didit!!

<-.-. .- --- - --- -. .- -. -.. -.. --- --- .-.> (coat on and out door in morse)

TheDrunkenBakers - on 30 Sep 2013
In reply to Unrequited: look, give her space for now.

The time between now and then gives you time to refurbish your dungeon, clean your gimp masks, oils the squeaky cuffs and repaint the black walls.

When she sees the effort you went to during your first date she's almost certainly going to have a second date.

Im an expert, you see.
Skyfall - on 30 Sep 2013
In reply to Unrequited:

If it was a long time I would suspect you were being blown off but 10th October is not very long at all. I would read it that she's definitely interested but perhaps not getting overly excited right now and certainly not until she's got some time to meet up and feel more relaxed. Fair enough. Keep it in play !
Alfredthe1st - on 30 Sep 2013
In reply to Unrequited: Sounds genuine to me but can you handle her is a bigger question. The writing is on the wall (not a bad thing). Good job, busy girl, plans ahead, works to a diary, takes phone calls during dinner and in bed, always needs a phone signal and email but really cool and good fun to be with when she has time for you. I think you may have a steep learning curve ahead.
Karl087 - on 30 Sep 2013
In reply to Unrequited: is she willing to don the harness. Flake the rope and rip you to bits for making an epic out of an easy lead? If the answer is yes, book the church.......
Blue Straggler - on 01 Oct 2013
In reply to Skyfall:
> (In reply to Unrequited)
>
> If it was a long time I would suspect you were being blown off

Come again?
ripper - on 01 Oct 2013
In reply to Alfredthe1st:
> (In reply to Unrequited) Sounds genuine to me but can you handle her is a bigger question. The writing is on the wall (not a bad thing). Good job, busy girl, plans ahead, works to a diary, takes phone calls during dinner and in bed, always needs a phone signal and email but really cool and good fun to be with when she has time for you. I think you may have a steep learning curve ahead.

this^
In reply to Alfredthe1st:
> (In reply to Unrequited) Sounds genuine to me but can you handle her is a bigger question. The writing is on the wall (not a bad thing). Good job, busy girl, plans ahead, works to a diary, takes phone calls during dinner and in bed, always needs a phone signal and email but really cool and good fun to be with when she has time for you. I think you may have a steep learning curve ahead.

Might also explain her singledom status (if no one has mentioned already but my laziness prevents me reading back to check) situation in the first place.

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