UKC

Afternoon folks,
Hope you are all having a great weekend so far.

Quite chilly down here on the south coast but one of those days you don't mind being out in if you're wrapped up besides, the last few nights have been really clear so loads of star gazing and red sunsets.

I digress, snapped achilles so have hired an automatic car but my car needed a run out so the wife drove it yesterday. Now I'll say in the first instance, my wife's driving is pretty atrocious, well I think it is. Cuts people up, wanders over lanes round roundabouts etc and leaves it until the last minute to break. Now having had heated discussions several times, we both agree her driving is pants (she freely admits she is a pants driver but doesn't really think it matters.....) and that I'm safer or a better driver so we just learn to live with it.

But, I dread getting into the car with her, not because I think she will crash but mainly because it puts me on edge when she is driving and I'm constantly pushing the imaginary brake pedal, looking behind to see if she is cutting anyone up and generally waiting until the journey is over!

Anyone else hate being a passenger when their partner has to drive?

In reply to Denni:

You're courting disaster, bonnie lad!

In reply to jon:

Wouldn't be the first time Jon!

In reply to Denni:

Does she know this is posted here its very different to relucantly acknowledge to your partner in private you have driving issues from having it on a public website where all your partners climbing mates get to gossip over it. Id contact the mods pull the thread, start agian and make it more general.

In reply to Offwidth:

Maybe he is aiming to get her to leave him, then he can bring in the young blonde, racing car driver to get him to the crag quicker. I can think of no other reason for the post.
Yes my ex-partners driving used to scare the crap out of me, crossing three lanes of the M1 while lighting up etc, etc. That's not why I left her. She also cut into my (limited ability) climbing time!

In reply to Offwidth:

Hi there, not too sure where you got the reluctantly acknowledgment, nothing reluctant about it! And she is aware I've posted on here and she's not bothered a jot. Also, my wife doesn't have any climbing partners, hates the sport

In reply to Denni:



No. We share the driving.

In reply to johncook:




Too old for a young blonde, don't like racing cars and living on the south coast, no climbing as it is! Reason for post, wife aware I post on here so it's no problems and just asking others.

Thats the beauty of our relationship, all upfront, no backhandedness, if that is indeed a word!

In reply to Denni:

I pretty much taught my ex how to drive, spent months being driven around with her driving on L plates and it never used to bother me, her driving is actually a very good standard.

But last year I changed my job to a field service engineer role meaning I drive a lot now, nearly 21 thousand in 5 months, and now I don't like being a passenger in anyone's car.

Some of the guys I work with drive like complete maniacs or just don't care and I'd rather do the driving myself and have less of a chance of being wedged in the back of a car or lorry.

In reply to Denni:

For christmas, why not treat her to some fitted roll bars, rally driver style seatbelts and a "his n hers" pair of matching crash helmets? Cars are pretty safe these days anyway, with all that as well if she crashes you'll probs be fine.

In reply to Denni:



If you both agree that you wife's driving is an issue then why not do something positive to resolve it?

You could both enrol onto a driving course and improve your skills.

In reply to Offwidth:


Definitely.

In reply to Denni:

You have to accept that if women were meant to drive cars they would have been born with brains.

<gets coat>

In reply to wilkie14c:

I had to drive home from London with a broken leg because my missus didn't want to negotiate the Hangar Lane gyratory.

In reply to Al Evans:


Or, read what I wrote above....

In reply to Denni:


Nope as it allows me to sleep on ling journeys

In reply to Submit to Gravity:


The gyratory is easy, no retreat, no surrender, window wound down ready to flick the finger at drivers that won't let you in or thank the ones that do and you're away.

In reply to wilkie14c:


I agree. Oh! They were!

In reply to Denni:
I only get in the car with my mrs when she picks me up from the pub.

In reply to Denni: My wife complains about MY driving, when she is a passenger, but she does not know what she is talking about.

I do take roundabouts fast( but I am in the correct lanes, - and you need to go fast when you are going further, and not cutting across lines. ( like her)

I am inch perfect ON the centre lines when turning right ( allowing others room to pass on my left unlike her)
I am NOT ever 'On the wrong side of the road ' as it appears to her with her poor judgment.

I DO reverse park into very small spaces ( that she struggles to get out of, ) but that is her problem, not mine. I got in, she should be able to drive out!

So , ok I did have three separate accidents (in 15 minutes once) , but that was a long time ago, and I was only doing 10mph on the first bump, and was STOPPED when I was hit by two other drivers . ( ice)
She tells it that I wrote a car off - a travesty of the truth ( but technically correct)

So I I did hit a low bridge once - ( but she was sitting beside me, and she did not remember we were in a high van either) a fact that she misses out when she tells others about MY accident. ( and yes it was written off)

These passengers are a nightmare.

In reply to teflonpete:

A very attractive young lady flashed her tits at me on the gyratory once! Later in the evening I saw Princess Di near White City. I don't know if it was my lucky day or if I'd been hallucinating...

In reply to Tall Clare:

Company car isn't it? Less worry about scrapes and bumps...

In reply to Submit to Gravity:

Or rather, company car, £750 excess when anyone other than him drives it, so you'd be unlikely to hand it over to anyone other than a competent driver, right?


Seriously, chaps, I know the 'women are shit drivers' thing is *hilarious*, but isn't it getting a bit tired now? I'm sure you could all find something else to have a subtle dig at women for - you know, just to introduce a bit of novelty.

In reply to Tall Clare:

I'm not saying women are shit drivers, I'm saying my wife is a pants driver as she admits herself.

Stringing myelf up already just with this subject, wouldn't dare incur the wrath of the female UKC population by tarring them with the same brush.. (you know, the thing used to sweep the floor ;0)

In reply to Tall Clare: But it works!

I was just getting a rise out of you, sorry)))

I tried winding Simon4 up the other day about the Guardian and he hasn't been back since. I'm worried that his head has exploded...

In reply to Submit to Gravity:

I know and I shouldn't bite...

In reply to Tall Clare:

Not like you to bite Clare!

In reply to Denni:

It was a moment of weakness!

In reply to Denni:

I'm trying to get Mrs C to reverse everywhere. Going forward she terrifies me (rotten lane discipline and two speeding tickets in the last 6 months) but her reverse parking is world class. She lived in central York and I swear she can get her car into spaces that are actually less than the length (or even the width) of her car. I've never yet had to get out and ask her to park my car for me but I know it's coming and when it does I shall not not think twice about bowing to her superior parking skills.

In reply to Tall Clare:


Is that a womans trait?

In reply to Tall Clare:

I'm sure somewhere in a parallel universe there's a thread with women moaning about how men load the dish washer.

I'm still worried about Simon4. I imagine him bashing the keyboard with a vein throbbing in his forehead, Roy Keane style, and I think I may have popped it.

In reply to Denni:

As a serious reply, I generally drive. My wife is a competent enough driver, but I think she drives a bit too fast sometimes in built-up areas, and then annoys me a bit by driving slower than I would out in the sticks (not that she's wrong in that; it just annoys me a bit).

We're both shit at parking.

The big issue with driving is young males. How I'm still alive God only knows.

In reply to Submit to Gravity:



Not just young males...my 21 yr old niece is a nightmare, then again she is quite macho.

In reply to Submit to Gravity:


I saw some fantastically odd multi-cultural Christmas light last night, I thought about taking pictures and putting them here, then calling anyone who commented a racist Daily Mail reader, but I thought it might be a step too far.

Anyway, everyone knows that men load the dishwasher wrong.

In reply to Denni:

I hate being a passenger, mainly because I seem to get car sick if I'm not driving. Luckily the other half doesn't drive

In reply to Denni:

Mr Marsbar has been known to moan about my driving on occasion. It generally end up in an argument.

In reply to Tall Clare:

Sam reckons women tend to be pretty ropey drivers, mainly young girls in Minis texting and hanging of one's rear bumper and housewives on the school run "get out of my way Tarquin needs to pee"/ distracted by thoughts of X Factor.

Personally I think the beige brigade and the poverty spec 56 plate 3 series with an M badge on the back are more of threat.

In reply to Denni:


Not at all. Lady Blue is probably safer than I am as she's slower and takes more care.

I hate being a passenger generally as I don't know what to do with myself. I can't read in a car, and looking out the windows only has so much appeal. Hence I end up fiddling with the stereo or aircon, and generally being a pain in the neck.

Hence I generally drive.

In reply to Denni:

Nope, I don't mind at all. Mrs A has even towed our Caravan. Respect.

Top advice from a driving instructor - almost everyone gets defensive about their driving, especially if you say they are not safe. They usually think it is/was safe or they wouldn't do it.

Instead, get them to change behaviour as a special favour to you, eliminating blame.

E.g. I know you feel in control, but i get really nervous when you approach bends/junctions at high speed. Could you slow it down a touch, for me, so I enjoy the journey more.

(I don't use this line a lot on learners, but something like it works well for friends).

Most other discussion is best done out of the car, or with the engine off.

In reply to Denni:

My partner is a good/careful driver, but I think her sports car is a bit wasted on her. She thinks I drive too fast, but I'm just reading the traffic better.

Last time I was in a mate's car, I wished he'd keep to our side of the road, but he's a self-confessed occasional driver. Another friend of mine frrely admits he hates driving and only does it out of necessity.

2 worst drivers I've ever known are an ex who had turned out to have a really bad case of small person syndrome and a Suzuki Vitara (which tells you all you need to know about her driving style) and a mate who is supposed to be a trained pursuit driver - my then girlfriend swore she'd never get in a car with him again and I'm inclined to agree.

Most worrying recently was a girl that followed me on Saturday morning - think she spent half the time texting someone and the other half playing with her hair with both hands off the wheel.

In reply to Tall Clare:

There is plenty of evidence than on average women have fewer accidents than men (insurance costs being the most reliable). In my experience the worst drivers on the road are young men and very old men. I know plenty of middle aged men who think they are great drivers when they are in fact good at basic driving skills but in breach of plenty of areas of the highway code: the worst are the volunteer traffic police who block what they regard as unsafe drivers sometimes even at risk of accidents.

I still think this thread shouldnt have happened as I cant think of any scenario where it is not an unfair post in some way.

In reply to Submit to Gravity:

Not me! I load it far better than my wife.

In reply to Denni:

My most terrifying drive ever was through Lahore in Pakistan with the driver watching TV on a portable on the dashboard. We watched Maggie resigning, it's etched on my memory.

Yes, Mrs RR is quite scary, I suspect she needs glasses but it too vain to admit it. She has had three or four accidents in 15 years, all caused by her running into other vehicles. She seems to have very little mechanical sympathy and can't understand why I get upset when she holds my car on a steep slope on the clutch for so long that it begins to smoke and makes that horrible organic burning smell. That's why I do most of the driving.

In reply to Denni:

I'm quite happy being a passenger in the car when Mistress Teffers is driving, but I do have trouble staying awake as a passenger on long trips. She likes looking at the world going by, is a good navigator and I'm normally in the car already or dropping her off and going to work, so generally I drive.

We don't have a dishwasher now, but even when we did, I was better at loading it. ;0)

The ex Mrs Teffers was a bloody awful driver, aggressive, unobservant and had no idea how big the car was.

In reply to Denni:

I allow three people to drive my car - Me, Girlie and climbnig partner. Girlie's driving is very safe, and she is probably the only driver that allows me to relax enough to fall asleep.

At times I think she is perhaps a little easily bullied on the road in that she often leaves what I feel to be too much space, and when someone jumps in, she'll back off further. But as I said I trust her driving, it is very safe.

In reply to Rigid Raider:


Nairobi for me! That said, had an amusing moment when my taxi driver in Cairo put the sunblind down so I couldn't see the traffic


I have to keep reminding Mrs LBS that mine isn't a company car and could she please use the handbrake instead.

In reply to marsbar:



I'm intrigued. What is it about loading a dishwasher that it is possible to get wrong?

In reply to John_Hat:



Yep, I am just the same. I suspect I can be a right royal pain in the arse as a passenger, whereas my partner will just settle down with a book. I also get car sick easily as a passenger (hence the inability to read) but am ok as a driver, so I tend to bag all the driving on the highland back roads.

I should add that I don't have any specific problems with my partners driving though

In reply to Denni:

I generally find that anyone who thinks they are a good driver, and says so, isn't. I have been driving for 10 years, passed first time and did the IAM advanced driving test many years ago. My driving at the moment is far from perfect; my 'extra' training just lets me recognise when I am rusty and wonder why the hell I just did whatever stupid thing I just did!

It is amazing how blinkered people get when they are driving as well - plenty of 'idiot!' while failing to realise what they did to either fail to clearly state what they are doing, to see the situation developing earlier, or fail to take simple measures to avoid the issue. Most of the interesting situations I have been in have involved minor things from both sides prior to the more exciting thing from one car (and fortunately no accidents as yet)...

Most UK drivers think they are better than average (according to some RAC survey). Suffice to say this is clearly untrue...

That said I am a terrible passenger, since I can see that most people's driving is just not that great...

In reply to andrewmcleod:


Snap - driving 15years; IAM for 5years and still kick myself for doing silly things behind the wheel; getting sideways with involuntary lift-off oversteer a damp roundabout was last minor "moment".

Back to the OP - no partner now, but when she was alive i cringed at her blase 90mph motorway speeds and she hated my back-lane driving; needless to say we took it in turns on long trips

In reply to hokkyokusei:

Front loading! Just pulling it out enough to put stuff in, leaving the back empty. Then the top tray can tip if too much heavy stuff on the front, also more difficult to fill the back (when the front is packed).

In reply to Flinticus:


That's crazy talk!