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Your having your lunch in a coffee shop and a person on the next table is having a loud conversation on their mobile phone. Do or would you politely ask them to keep their voices down?
In reply to Indy:
No. If I wanted peace and quiet I'd stay at home. In any public place you are the mercy of the public and you know this when leaving the house.
No. If I wanted peace and quiet I'd stay at home. In any public place you are the mercy of the public and you know this when leaving the house.
In reply to Indy:
Yes. Why not? I was on a very busy train yesterday and the woman sat opposite to me ended up having to slant her head sideways because the person standing next to her in the isle had effectively used all her head room by trying to hold onto the handle of the seat.
I acknowledged her predicament but she seemed reluctant to do anything about it so I tapped the offender on the shoulder, asked them to move their arm and everyone was happy. No offence was caused. Just a shame the woman didn't feel empowered to ask in the first place.
Yes. Why not? I was on a very busy train yesterday and the woman sat opposite to me ended up having to slant her head sideways because the person standing next to her in the isle had effectively used all her head room by trying to hold onto the handle of the seat.
I acknowledged her predicament but she seemed reluctant to do anything about it so I tapped the offender on the shoulder, asked them to move their arm and everyone was happy. No offence was caused. Just a shame the woman didn't feel empowered to ask in the first place.
In reply to Indy:
Not usually. People using their mobiles in public are inconsiderate people. Asking them to behave considerately therefore usually isn't productive. Better accidentally to spill your coffee over them on your way past.
jcm
Not usually. People using their mobiles in public are inconsiderate people. Asking them to behave considerately therefore usually isn't productive. Better accidentally to spill your coffee over them on your way past.
jcm
In reply to Indy:
doesn't seem unreasonable to me to use a phone in a coffee shop - they are places people go to meet and talk, its not as if its a quiet space like a library
doesn't seem unreasonable to me to use a phone in a coffee shop - they are places people go to meet and talk, its not as if its a quiet space like a library
In reply to pebbles:
>doesn't seem unreasonable to me to use a phone in a coffee shop - they are places people go to meet and talk
Exactly. Without listening to twerps talking to third parties.
jcm
>doesn't seem unreasonable to me to use a phone in a coffee shop - they are places people go to meet and talk
Exactly. Without listening to twerps talking to third parties.
jcm
In reply to ByEek:
The bit I didn't include was after I asked, the customer turned into a screaming banshee "how dare you!" Complained to 1 of the shop staff that I was "abusing her" then called her husband to come down and "sort me out"
O.K that's definitely a reaction on the more extreme end of things but generally something I'm not seeing as uncommon. In the past when this has come up most people say they'd move or just put up with it as its best not to get involved.
Talking of trains a man was using a tablet to watch a film in the quiet carriage without headphones when ask by a fellow passenger him to use headphones was told to F.O The conductor had to threaten him with police at the next station before he'd stop.
> Yes. Why not?
The bit I didn't include was after I asked, the customer turned into a screaming banshee "how dare you!" Complained to 1 of the shop staff that I was "abusing her" then called her husband to come down and "sort me out"
O.K that's definitely a reaction on the more extreme end of things but generally something I'm not seeing as uncommon. In the past when this has come up most people say they'd move or just put up with it as its best not to get involved.
Talking of trains a man was using a tablet to watch a film in the quiet carriage without headphones when ask by a fellow passenger him to use headphones was told to F.O The conductor had to threaten him with police at the next station before he'd stop.
In reply to pebbles:
Compelely agree but the conversation is between the 2 people on the phone not the entire coffee shop.
> doesn't seem unreasonable to me to use a phone in a coffee shop
Compelely agree but the conversation is between the 2 people on the phone not the entire coffee shop.
In reply to pebbles:
This is typical it's-my-right bad manners. The question isn't what the space is for. It's whether you're going to inconvenience other people.
jcm
> its not as if its a quiet space like a library
This is typical it's-my-right bad manners. The question isn't what the space is for. It's whether you're going to inconvenience other people.
jcm
In reply to pebbles:
With most people talking on mobiles this isn't a problem. However, as with normal telephones, there are some people who don't seem to get that a mobile telephone is an electronic device complete with amplifiers, and instead believe they have to below down the phone so their voice can go down the magic tubes to the other end.
> (In reply to Indy)
>
> doesn't seem unreasonable to me to use a phone in a coffee shop - they are places people go to meet and talk, its not as if its a quiet space like a library
>
> doesn't seem unreasonable to me to use a phone in a coffee shop - they are places people go to meet and talk, its not as if its a quiet space like a library
With most people talking on mobiles this isn't a problem. However, as with normal telephones, there are some people who don't seem to get that a mobile telephone is an electronic device complete with amplifiers, and instead believe they have to below down the phone so their voice can go down the magic tubes to the other end.
In reply to johncoxmysteriously:
To quote your favoured, go-to response, 'don't be stupid'. Only some are, including those who speak unnecessarily loudly.
> People using their mobiles in public are inconsiderate people.
To quote your favoured, go-to response, 'don't be stupid'. Only some are, including those who speak unnecessarily loudly.
In reply to Indy:
> Your having your lunch in a coffee shop and a person on the next table is having a loud conversation on their mobile phone. Do or would you politely ask them to keep their voices down?
Tell them to speak louder as youre a bit Mutt-n-Jeff....or be terribly 'English' and just moan about about it on a climbing forum FFS! In reply to Indy:
Dont really see what the issue is. What difference does it make if she's on the phone or talking (albeit loudly) to someone sat at the same table as her?
Rather that than a screaming baby or whiney toddler. Have you got kids?
Dont really see what the issue is. What difference does it make if she's on the phone or talking (albeit loudly) to someone sat at the same table as her?
Rather that than a screaming baby or whiney toddler. Have you got kids?
In reply to Jamming Dodger: > What difference does it make if she's on the phone or talking (albeit loudly) to someone sat at the same table as her?
You might still feel inclined to ask them to keep their voices down, since not everyone in their immediate vicinity wants to be party to their conversation.
Coming back from London recently in the quiet coach, we asked a man and a woman to keep their voices down. In point of fact it was only the woman that was the problem. You could hear when the man was speaking, but not what he was saying. She, on the other hand, kept fog-horning complaints about her work, the industry she worked in, the town she lived in and...well, pretty much everything about her life. After being asked to help the rest of the people in the carriage avoid eavesdropping on her, rather than just keep her voice down she slunk off to a different carriage in a somewhat graceless fashion. I rather suspect her male interlocutor was secretly a little relieved to have the conversation drawn to a premature close.
You might still feel inclined to ask them to keep their voices down, since not everyone in their immediate vicinity wants to be party to their conversation.
Coming back from London recently in the quiet coach, we asked a man and a woman to keep their voices down. In point of fact it was only the woman that was the problem. You could hear when the man was speaking, but not what he was saying. She, on the other hand, kept fog-horning complaints about her work, the industry she worked in, the town she lived in and...well, pretty much everything about her life. After being asked to help the rest of the people in the carriage avoid eavesdropping on her, rather than just keep her voice down she slunk off to a different carriage in a somewhat graceless fashion. I rather suspect her male interlocutor was secretly a little relieved to have the conversation drawn to a premature close.
In reply to Martin W:
Then its a problem with their voice volume and not the fact theyre on the phone, isnt it?
Quiet carriages on trains are fair enough.
My dad talks loudly on the phone. He is quite deaf. When he talks to my aunt who is also deaf you can hear the conversation from outside the house.
Then its a problem with their voice volume and not the fact theyre on the phone, isnt it?
Quiet carriages on trains are fair enough.
My dad talks loudly on the phone. He is quite deaf. When he talks to my aunt who is also deaf you can hear the conversation from outside the house.
In reply to Jamming Dodger:
It was lunch time so there were lots of people in the coffee shop talking including me and a work collegue. 99% of people were able to hold a conversation in a normal way including some on mobiles. One person 'forgot' that she was using a mobile phone and must have thought the person she was speaking to was 100 meters down the road.
Yes I do have kids but too old to be screaming but when they were they'd be taken out of the room. Something else that seems to have gone out of fashion.
> Dont really see what the issue is. What difference does it make if she's on the phone or talking (albeit loudly) to someone sat at the same table as her?
> Rather that than a screaming baby or whiney toddler. Have you got kids?
It was lunch time so there were lots of people in the coffee shop talking including me and a work collegue. 99% of people were able to hold a conversation in a normal way including some on mobiles. One person 'forgot' that she was using a mobile phone and must have thought the person she was speaking to was 100 meters down the road.
Yes I do have kids but too old to be screaming but when they were they'd be taken out of the room. Something else that seems to have gone out of fashion.
In reply to dek:
OK I'll rephrase it....
Your on a wall when suddenly you get hit by a massive turd from above. Should the climber above have looked before having a dump or is it I'm alright mate?
OK I'll rephrase it....
Your on a wall when suddenly you get hit by a massive turd from above. Should the climber above have looked before having a dump or is it I'm alright mate?
Post edited at 16:21
In reply to Indy:
Whats the point in a mobile if you cant use it in public?
Anyway, sounds like you have an issue with volume but veiling it as being indignant about mobile use in cafes. In which case I hope you never meet my dad!
Whats the point in a mobile if you cant use it in public?
Anyway, sounds like you have an issue with volume but veiling it as being indignant about mobile use in cafes. In which case I hope you never meet my dad!
In reply to Jamming Dodger:
Your missing the point its not that the person is using a mobile phone its the fact they believe that every one within a 100 meter radius of them wants to listen to their conversation.
There's a difference between disability and ignorance!
Your missing the point its not that the person is using a mobile phone its the fact they believe that every one within a 100 meter radius of them wants to listen to their conversation.
There's a difference between disability and ignorance!
In reply to Indy:
Because it bears no relation to the actual scenario?
You're assuming it's ignorance. But that's about as fair as me having a pop at your grammar when you could, for all I know, be dyslexic.
Anyway, bleh, moving away from the point. To summarise, chill out!
Because it bears no relation to the actual scenario?
You're assuming it's ignorance. But that's about as fair as me having a pop at your grammar when you could, for all I know, be dyslexic.
Anyway, bleh, moving away from the point. To summarise, chill out!
In reply to Indy:
Well, the last time that happened, the young lady clmbing
the Mantrap on the Ben, was good enough to warn us not to 'look' which was difficult under the circumstances.
If a loud, selfish gobshite,is spoiling your lunch, why don't you tell them to take their phone outside?
> OK I'll rephrase it....
> Your on a wall when suddenly you get hit by a massive turd from above. Should the climber above have looked before having a dump or is it I'm alright mate?
Well, the last time that happened, the young lady clmbing
the Mantrap on the Ben, was good enough to warn us not to 'look' which was difficult under the circumstances.
If a loud, selfish gobshite,is spoiling your lunch, why don't you tell them to take their phone outside?
In reply to Indy:
If it was me I'd probably try to give the outward impression that it was not bothering me, whilst on the inside I would be annoyed; indeed probably seething at the persons bad manners. However, I'd more than likely leave at the same time they leave and follow them until they turned down a quiet street then I'd get the Tazer out and let them have it in the face. I'm not normally moved to such physical actions, but I think it might just make them realise that their "Oh, listen to my self-important conversation, blah, blah..." is not acceptable, or necessary.
If it was me I'd probably try to give the outward impression that it was not bothering me, whilst on the inside I would be annoyed; indeed probably seething at the persons bad manners. However, I'd more than likely leave at the same time they leave and follow them until they turned down a quiet street then I'd get the Tazer out and let them have it in the face. I'm not normally moved to such physical actions, but I think it might just make them realise that their "Oh, listen to my self-important conversation, blah, blah..." is not acceptable, or necessary.
In reply to Indy:
The one thing I really struggle with in the states is loudness.. everyone wants to be heard.. in a restaurant it just gets louder and louder, always one per table who has to be heard.. it literally ruins meals.. some restaurants I wont go back to, good food but you just cant hold a conversation.
The one thing I really struggle with in the states is loudness.. everyone wants to be heard.. in a restaurant it just gets louder and louder, always one per table who has to be heard.. it literally ruins meals.. some restaurants I wont go back to, good food but you just cant hold a conversation.
In reply to balmybaldwin:
I think the main reason most people bellow into their phones is because the sidetone level is set too low (for them), and they don't think the phone 'is hearing them' (because they can't hear themselves in the phone's speaker). The real answer is either to up the volume of the phone, or, ideally, have a phone that allows you to set the sidetone level to your satisfaction.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sidetone
The first article in the Wiki page suggests mobiles don't even have sidetone; I'm not sure that's true. I'll check next time I make a call...
Of course, there are still f-wits who would bellow into their phone regardless of sidetone level...
> there are some people who don't seem to get that a mobile telephone is an electronic device complete with amplifiers, and instead believe they have to below down the phone so their voice can go down the magic tubes to the other end.
I think the main reason most people bellow into their phones is because the sidetone level is set too low (for them), and they don't think the phone 'is hearing them' (because they can't hear themselves in the phone's speaker). The real answer is either to up the volume of the phone, or, ideally, have a phone that allows you to set the sidetone level to your satisfaction.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sidetone
The first article in the Wiki page suggests mobiles don't even have sidetone; I'm not sure that's true. I'll check next time I make a call...
Of course, there are still f-wits who would bellow into their phone regardless of sidetone level...
In reply to johncoxmysteriously:
So if you get a call do you go home to answer it? Come on... in public there is plenty of noise! People talking, cars going past and whatnot. When at a coffee shop do you avoid talking to people because it is inconsiderate? Public places are just the sort of places to expect noise and to put up with it.
I have a naturally loud voice so would be no different to someone talking loudly on a phone. Should I not talk in public?
If you want quiet; go home; go to the library or go somewhere where people aren't.
> People using their mobiles in public are inconsiderate people.
So if you get a call do you go home to answer it? Come on... in public there is plenty of noise! People talking, cars going past and whatnot. When at a coffee shop do you avoid talking to people because it is inconsiderate? Public places are just the sort of places to expect noise and to put up with it.
I have a naturally loud voice so would be no different to someone talking loudly on a phone. Should I not talk in public?
If you want quiet; go home; go to the library or go somewhere where people aren't.
In reply to crayefish:
But just talk in normal tones.. if the phone rings you answer it and deal with it quickly or just say 'sorry I''m just nipping outside to deal with it'..
No..
But just talk in normal tones.. if the phone rings you answer it and deal with it quickly or just say 'sorry I''m just nipping outside to deal with it'..
> I have a naturally loud voice so would be no different to someone talking loudly on a phone. Should I not talk in public?
No..
> If you want quiet; go home; go to the library or go somewhere where people aren't.
In reply to IainRUK:
I'd agree about talking at a 'normal' volume level. But some are just louder than others.
Should be no different to a normal conversation really and one shouldn't discriminate (I hate to use that word but can't think of another right now!) against someone with a naturally loud voice, be it phone or conversation. Once you get close to shouting that is another matter however
> But just talk in normal tones.. if the phone rings you answer it and deal with it quickly or just say 'sorry I''m just nipping outside to deal with it'..
I'd agree about talking at a 'normal' volume level. But some are just louder than others.
Should be no different to a normal conversation really and one shouldn't discriminate (I hate to use that word but can't think of another right now!) against someone with a naturally loud voice, be it phone or conversation. Once you get close to shouting that is another matter however
In reply to Indy:
You can buy small concealed mobile phone jammers off the internet, they are great great fun I shall warn that they are probably illegal to use in the UK though.
> Your having your lunch in a coffee shop and a person on the next table is having a loud conversation on their mobile phone. Do or would you politely ask them to keep their voices down?
You can buy small concealed mobile phone jammers off the internet, they are great great fun I shall warn that they are probably illegal to use in the UK though.
Post edited at 20:09
In reply to crayefish:
If I get a call, and I'm somewhere with other people, I deal with it quickly or go outside. All people with manners do this.
When you inconvenience others, only yobs expect it to be the others who alter their behaviour.
jcm
If I get a call, and I'm somewhere with other people, I deal with it quickly or go outside. All people with manners do this.
> If you want quiet; go home;
When you inconvenience others, only yobs expect it to be the others who alter their behaviour.
jcm
In reply to Jamming Dodger:
Ok next time I'll bear that in mind but my experience and those I've spoken to would suggest the reason isnt that they are speaking to a deaf relative or a person that is unaware that mobile phones have volume controls.
Cinemas still feel the need to tell people to switch off or to silent mode mobile phones for the benefit of all patron!. An article in the paper recently spoke of the number of times theatre performances are interupted by mobile phones ringing. One person it said, that after 4 rings and the whole cast starring answered it.
Is it too much to ask the small percentage of people who have a sod you attitude to at least try and show some common courtesy to those around them when using a mobile phone?
> You're assuming it's ignorance.
Ok next time I'll bear that in mind but my experience and those I've spoken to would suggest the reason isnt that they are speaking to a deaf relative or a person that is unaware that mobile phones have volume controls.
Cinemas still feel the need to tell people to switch off or to silent mode mobile phones for the benefit of all patron!. An article in the paper recently spoke of the number of times theatre performances are interupted by mobile phones ringing. One person it said, that after 4 rings and the whole cast starring answered it.
Is it too much to ask the small percentage of people who have a sod you attitude to at least try and show some common courtesy to those around them when using a mobile phone?
In reply to johncoxmysteriously:
But there is no difference between a phone call and a conversation!
But there is no difference between a phone call and a conversation!
In reply to IainRUK:
This is a different problem - there's quite a bit of data that suggests that loud restaurants attract customers who then tend to buy more if it's loud and then leave more quickly (making room for more punters). I'd look up where I read this, but it's UKC....
> The one thing I really struggle with in the states is loudness.. everyone wants to be heard.. in a restaurant it just gets louder and louder, always one per table who has to be heard.. it literally ruins meals.. some restaurants I wont go back to, good food but you just cant hold a conversation.
This is a different problem - there's quite a bit of data that suggests that loud restaurants attract customers who then tend to buy more if it's loud and then leave more quickly (making room for more punters). I'd look up where I read this, but it's UKC....
In reply to Jamming Dodger:
The OP specifically mentioned the volume. Note that the OP asked: "would you politely ask them to keep their voices down?" Not: "would you ask them to stop using their phone?"
I see that you seem to have realised this yourself, at around the time that Indy repeated the point. Pity that fairly important detail seems to have gone whooshing over the heads of some of the other glib responders to this thread who have assumed it was an anti-mobile-phone rant.
> Then its a problem with their voice volume and not the fact theyre on the phone, isnt it?
The OP specifically mentioned the volume. Note that the OP asked: "would you politely ask them to keep their voices down?" Not: "would you ask them to stop using their phone?"
I see that you seem to have realised this yourself, at around the time that Indy repeated the point. Pity that fairly important detail seems to have gone whooshing over the heads of some of the other glib responders to this thread who have assumed it was an anti-mobile-phone rant.
Post edited at 21:19
In reply to crayefish:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=23C9xMRCOPY#t...
> I'd agree about talking at a 'normal' volume level. But some are just louder than others.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=23C9xMRCOPY#t...
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