UKC

Im one of those lucky people who share a house with 6 other working adults. For the best part I enjoy it. It keeps the bills nice and low, theres always somebody about to hang out with and somebody to keep the dog happy when im out.

However I have started working nightshifts at a bakery and so am now working fairly antisocial hours. 8pm - 5am or there abouts. I appreciate the world isnt nocturnal and so when I arrive home, the gate gets rested to, the front door is closed silently with the yale down. The dog is told to go to bed before she starts making that weird crying noise, shoes come off before going up the stairs, bedroom door gets shut with the handle down so the catch doesnt click and finally sleep. Jobs a goodun'

Roll on 8:30 and BAM! front door gets slammed making the front of the house shake, and im awake. Try to get back over but housemate X is running up and down the hallway from her and her boyfriends room to their spare room, slamming the door each time.

I send a group message out asking everyone to at least try and do things quietly. As it transpires I am being unreasonable, the front door infact needs to be slammed, and it causes quite a stir that ive even asked something so outrageous.

Am I just sleep deprived and infact in the wrong here? I cant even tell anymore.

In reply to ActionSte:

I don't think your being out of order here but you also shouldn't expected the entire house to tip toe around you, a compromise needs to be found.

Where in my opinion you did go wrong and this is a big problem these days is you should have spoken to the others rather than send a group message.
Sitting down and talking over a brew will always work better than a E-mail as people always read the worse in to the mail and get all huffy.

In reply to ActionSte:

I think its definately reasonable to expect the other people in the house not to make a massive racket in the morning, it doesnt take alot of effort to do things quietly. They wouldnt like it if you slammed everything on your way through the house at 5am. When i do nights I take those herbal sleepaid tablets and put earplugs in, seems to help.

In reply to ActionSte:

I have been in exactly the same situation as you. My solution was to go to bed and sleep a lot later, e.g. 10 AM, and obviously get up later too. It worked for me.

Good luck, I really sympathize with you.

In reply to ActionSte:

You need to get as many of them together as you can and face to face ask them for some consideration, tell them how you go to great lengths to not disturb then, tell them what you do. Talk to each other, the email thing was not sensible; live and learn.

If they are unreasonable you have two choices. 1. Come down to their level. Start slamming the doors, put music on, run up and down the stairs in big boots. Then say to them now you know how if feels. 2. Whilst I'm not prone to violence of any kind, if it was me, I'd get the Tazer out and give them all an insight as how I was feeling about their selfish attitude.

You don't sound unreasonable.

In reply to ActionSte:

Doesn't sound unreasonable at all, I would second a house meeting round the dinner table, or something even less formal, over a cuppa as Dax said.
If it was me I'd be tempted to stay up and watch a film or something until everyone else has buggered off to their day jobs.

In reply to ActionSte:

I had a similar problem. But my shifts were variable. So some days I would leave the flat at 5am. Needless to say, they never appreciated the reciprocal behaviour...

In reply to ActionSte:

Daft question - do you wear earplugs when you go to bed?
If not, you may find it helps though obviously you still need folk to be a wee bit more considerate.

In reply to ActionSte:

Treat others as they treat you and see what happens.

In reply to ActionSte: I sympathise - having been in a similar situation - but I think there's a difference between one person getting back early in the morning from a night shift, and five people in a mad rush who are late for work.

In reply to whenry:
Hmmn, the answer might seem to be to get up ten minutes earlier out of consideration?

It's what I'd tried to have done for a family member in my teens, I don't suppose it can't apply to other adults too?

OP:

I'd gather everybody together, and explain how much care you take not to wake up the rest of the household, and nicely ask them to 'try' and keep the noise down a bit, be civil and explain it makes you really knackered if you get woken up.

If people put their key in the Yale lock and turned it as if unlocking it, that might stop the door from needing to be slammed?

In reply to ActionSte:

Been there, done that. Only practical solution are usually move out or cope with it (earplugs worked well for me !).

In reply to ActionSte:
You are entirely reasonable and a considerate housemate and human being. Unfortunately these qualities can be hard to find in other housemates!

In my experience people either get the consideration thing or they don't and trying to address the issue is often futile...

In reply to ActionSte:

I've been on the other end of this and it can get wearing for the others too. The former Mrs C (and this was a large part why she is 'the. former') used to work for GMTV' one week in six which meant a 5am start and so an early night about 8pm. I was working normal hours but she needed the house to be quiet so no 'loud' tv, which in practical terms means no tv, no noisy running of taps etc etc. As the week went on she got more grouchy. - everyone who worked on it called it PMTv for that reason- and I got more resntful at having to sneak about the place, no tv etc etc. I think you are entitled to expect some consideration but they are entitled to behave normally too. A bit of give and take is fair to ask but you can't expect them to creep round like mice either, especially if they are all rushing round trying to get to work, fighting over bathroom, kitchen. After all it is your work/sleep pattern that's out of step with everyone else..

In reply to ActionSte:



BANG! WAKE UP, the pub's open.

What's that all about with X and her fella?

In reply to Wiley Coyote:

I guess it can depend on the fabric of the house, too, and where said tired person is sleeping. In a place with thin walls and floors it'd be more difficult to stop noises getting through to somebody trying to sleep.

I can remember lying in front of the TV so that my head was nearer so it didn't need to be as loud when other people have been trying to sleep.

In reply to abseil:


This is well worth trying. I'm convinced it's better for you too. If you were working 9-5 you wouldn't get up at 4am, head to work for 9, then finish work and head to bed at 6pm would you?

In OPs situation might mean you're having dinner when your housemates are breakfasting and you're breakfasting while they're having their evening meal. Interacting socially with your housemates like this might make/keep things sweeter for the house (unless you can't stand the lot of them!)

In reply to nathan79:


That's right, and as I said it worked for me (in a shared house). Another advantage was when I came home at 6 AM or so, I could just keep quiet and read or whatever until my dinner time of 8.30 AM - instead of crashing around making my dinner at 6.30 AM, disturbing people.