(This is for your general interest. as you have no real say over the introduction and evolution of the ice grading system in Canada. However I realize many of you will be visiting Canada to climb ice this spring so don't be surprised by this supplemental grading.)
So another winter approaches and the ice season is upon us. Thousands of climbers are preparing to attack the ice even as I write these words of unspoken truth. Something that I have noticed over the last few years (make that ten). The number of ice climbers has increased dramatically from year to year. I am sure this has to do with the availability of cool climbing images that social media and other digital formats provide in a effortless abundance. The other might be even more primeval. The 3 million year old instinct of trying to attract a mate. For instance in the metropolis of Calgary, AB there are thousands and thousands of climbers many of which hang out at various waterholes that specialize in selling adult beverages. In a room full (lets say a 100) of climbers the vast majority (9 to 1) are rock climbers. Of these one in ten will be a female of the species. As males do they will hover around trying to attract the potential mate by going on about the numerous hard sends the have under their belt. The incredible long 20 minute walk in to the crag which buts them a good 40 minutes from the nearest location where they can get a half caffe latte with extra foam and sprinkles. The kind of thing that shows just how primeval a creature this rock jock is and certainly has the female of the species thinking I want to have babies with this animal for surely they will be the strongest of the strong. Spartan in their perfection and surely anybody who can forgo a half caffe latte for so long a time must be a complete dominating animal in the sack. ( sorry to any women out there who are offended by my ability to read you basic instincts, but I have been a guide for far to long and it is my job to know what you are thinking even if you yourself don’t know you are thinking it) Now I shuffle up to the cluster of competing males and listen to their meaningless garble. As a ice climber it’s a lot like listening to a bunch of eunuch's smack talk about what they would do with a playboy bunny. I wait for the right time to drop in a nonchalant way that I am a “ ice climber “. Instantly the tone of the boasting changes. The Alpha male gorilla has just entered the room. Without fail the plastic pulling rock jocks give way no longer willing to meet my gaze lest I pull there arm off and beat them to death with it. For I am Tarzan, King of the Apes. The alpha (and beta) female of the vertical mobile species has a look that morphs from one of admiration to pure lust. Several megs of iPhone memory will be allocated to the numbers of future conquests. This is one of the great perks of being a ice climber.
However I fear that my dominance of the vertical tribe may be coming to a end unless I do something about it. Thirty years ago with straight shaft tools, hand crafted leashes and crampons that required 8 allen screws to adjust made ice climbers as rare as the proverbial hens teeth. However today with the introduction of leashes tools, razors sharp ice screws, synthetic clothing not to mention mono-point crampons you can’ swing a dead cat in Canmore without hitting a ice climber. As a result it is time to rethink the ice climbing grading system. To be honest it is a poor grading system to start with. Starts at grade 2 which I am not sure what that really is. The astronomical leap between grade 2 to 3 or 3 to 4 required a plus or minus clarification. The range was just too vast. The comparison to say rock grades is even possible but also not very accurate. Calling a solid WI4 a 5.9 might give you some idea but to some rock climbers transitioning to ice would be a sandbag for some and a give away for others. The actual 4+ or 4-does a pretty good job or did.
However it’s 2015 as Justin say’s and it’s time to face the facts. The very nature of ice climbing has changed. When I see a fully formed icefall today that has less then a two hour approach it reminds me of a scene out of the “Walking Dead” where you are running in front of the herd and as far as you can see are the living dead armed with ice axes. The pro icefall does what it can to protect itself. But no matter how cold it is or how much free running water the ice fall dies a slow agonizing death. All that remains are the picked out bones of a once nobel icefall. Within days of forming there are more holes in the ice then a rural Alberta deer crossing sign. Any climber to come behind the herd there remains nothing but fully formed pick holes and all the challenge of climbing a peg board.
This is where we have to add a third dimension to our grading system. Let me introduce
A herd is a social grouping of certain animals of the same species, either wild or domestic. The form of collective animal behavior associated with this is referred to as herding. The term herd is generally applied to mammals, and most particularly to the grazing ungulates that classically display this behaviour. to you the need for a PICKED OUT (PO) grade. This would compensate for the herd and give a better over all idea of just how difficult the climbing actually is. For example the Recital hall climbs in the Ghost . The guide book say’s that Fearful Symmetry is grade III 6 X and its companion climb Rainbow Serpent is III 6. This was a accurate grade when grade when Joe Josephson’s Waterfall Ice guide book came out in 1994. The grade most likely held true up to 2005. Then came the herd!
Both these climbs have formed a couple times in the last few years and I have had the opportunity to climb these puppies. After climbing them it occurred to me that there are four to five hundred climbers out there occupying the adult waterhole attracting my potential conquest calling themselves ice climbers. Grade six ice climbers at that or so they are telling others. The thing is that the once nerve wracking, terror inspiring Rainbow Serpent was little more then a grade four plus (4+). I will give it a five minus (5-) out of respect for the climb. The same holds true for Fearful Symmetry. What once was one of the most challenging ice climbs on the planet is reduced to little more then peg board climbing. While a few kilometres away we did the years first ascent of Hydrophobia (WI V 5+) that taxed the courage and skill of three 20 year veteran climbers. Every pick placement hard won while crampon points scrapped through layers of chandler ice desperately seeking purchase. That day I prayed to every deity from Zeus to Buddha begging they spare me from death (or worse). In return I promised to give up everything from red meat to masturbation ( all of which went out the window as soon as the rope hit the ground on the last rappel. I’m only religious when my life is in jeopardy, otherwise I’m a diehard atheist.) What it had that day was the old school challenge that made ice climbing the sport that it was.
