In reply to Valkyrie1968:
> The Protection of Unambiguous Nomenclature and Terminology for External Routes Society (PUNTERS) wishes to announce that, after much deliberation, a petition has been circulated amongst the membership. This petition calls for all would-be pedants who wish to correct others with regard to climbing-specific minutiae to ensure that their conduct is consistent both on- and offline.
> The conduct referred to includes all matters relating to British climbing routes and areas, be they trad, sport, boulder, alpine, winter, et cetera, as well as to terminology stemming from or applied to all of the aforementioned disciplines and their surrounding contexts. This provision would thus preclude any individual who may seek to, for example, correct a mis-informed UKC user who seeks a partner for 'The Peaks' by posting on the relevant thread, from not ensuring parity in reality by, for example, compelling them to aggressively approach and berate similarly mis-informed citizens while in public, were they to overhear an innocent, middle-class family of walkers in Edale extol the virtues of 'The Peaks'.
Similarly, those who wish to loudly and aggressively assert their position with regard to the legitimacy of controversial ethical issues - sea cliff pegs, headpointing, nest chucking - on the UKC forums would be compelled to also do so when they encounter instances in reality - not climbing pegged sea cliff routes/screaming at anyone on Anglesey whom they suspect of harbouring contraband pegs, confronting anyone top-roping a route who is at that time, or may in the future, consider leading it, chucking/not chucking nests as appropriate.
Moreover, anyone well-versed in the debate surrounding a controversially graded route, should they be unable to contain their disagreement with assertions made online, must also follow suit in public, for example by prowling the base of Froggatt Edge and belittling the experiences of those who believe that they have climbed an E1 in making an ascent of Three Pebble Slab.
> The system proposed for ensuring compliance will involve fitting ankle monitors with built-in microphones to all UKC users with a history of derailing threads of an interesting, partner-seeking, or otherwise illuminating nature, and outsourcing the monitoring of this network to an organisation of volunteers (designated the PUNTER Compliance Unit for National Trad Standards in the current schema) which will be overseen by the BMC. Where infractions occur - i.e. where UKC users act in a comparably relaxed manner when faced with an issue which they have taken a supercilious, snide, or downright priggish stance to on the forums in reality, most likely as face-to-face interaction with other humans does not allow for gutless remarks made for the sake of egotism or pathetic self-gratification and from the safety of near-anonymity - guilty parties will be summarily banned from UKC, shunned by the climbing fraternity as a whole thanks to widespread national media coverage (courtesy of the Daily Mail), and no longer allowed to participate in the broad pursuit known as climbing due to being hobbled (courtesy of DMM, who will provide the Torque Nuts with which to perform the hobbling procedure).
> PUNTERS notes, however, that a good many of those who may be affected by the proposed legislation may not be particularly inconvenienced by this last aspect of the corrections procedure, as our data suggests that the majority of this demographic, for various reasons, infrequently engage in actual acts of climbing. While regrettable, it is our belief that, in these cases, such individuals most likely have issues enough (hence their acting in such a manner in the first place), and so should not be further punished.
> This petition will now be circulated amongst the broader climbing community, and PUNTERS representatives will be stationed at major crags throughout the country over the course of the summer and available for discussion. Anyone wishing to obtain further information on the petition may do so by turning off all of the lights in their dwelling, looking into their bathroom mirror, and saying the words 'E0 send train choo-choo' three times, at which point the arrival of a PUNTERS representative will be heralded by the sound of hexes jingling on the roof.
