UKC

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2016/10/04/uk_nuclear_deterrent_submarines_sta...

What did George Orwell say about the purpose of continual war, again?

Can we stop talking about BREXIT (nothing we can do about that, now) and start talking about how this sort of folly, while simultaneously enforcing austerity measures, spending cuts and refusing to pay doctors more money for more work, is really a kick-in-the-groin?

Agh... meh. I can't be bothered to get het up about this - I used up all my energy during the Two-Minute-Hate, earlier this afternoon.

In reply to Xharlie:

I think white would be a design error. Black is the normal colour for submarines.

In reply to captain paranoia:


You havent seen how much extra BAe will charge for black paint.

In reply to Xharlie:

Hang on the sea is blue-green we should get turquoise paint - as an extra bonus it's gone a bit out of fashion since the 80s so we can pick up some cheap

In reply to KevinD:

It's not paint; it's stealth rubber. The price of clmbing shoes will go through the roof...

In reply to KevinD:


I'm astounded they're actually providing a fully specced white elephant. Are we sure it's not actually a white hippo fitted for, (but not with), big ears and a trunk?

In reply to Ridge:

Bound to need a change order for the armaments - teeth to tusks, which will then require a redesign of the legs to make them longer. At which point someone will then notice that when its standing on the bottom, its back will be out of the water, and so they'll change their minds back again until someone notices that it now keeps standing on its new ears and they'll cancel the whole programme.

In reply to captain paranoia:

Aye, the stealth rubber really helped when HMS Astute became grounded on a sand bank off Skye.

In reply to Removed UserDeleted bagger:


Have you tried sneaking up on a sand bank without using stealth rubber? They are wary things and hard to catch out.

In reply to KevinD:

The word periscope comes to mind.

In reply to nniff:


Do you work in MoD Procurement?

In reply to Xharlie:

All this talk of paint is really childish. I'll respond to you seriously...

I don't mind white. In fact, I'm quite happy to pay more taxes, if the government only promise to fit them with a massive tusk like a f*cking, great narwhal....

Narwhals! Yeah! Got a horn, like a goddam unicorn, except it's a whale!... Narwhals! F*ck yeah!?!... Ain't no hooves on that bitch!

In reply to Ridge:


nah they missed "and the bloke in charge will retire and just happen to get a consulting role on how to weaponise rabbits and disguise them as hippos."

In reply to Clauso:


It's not a horn, it's a tusk.

In reply to Xharlie:

On the whole colour thing I believe subs in the med had issues with being black in WW2 - the water was so clear and blue they were being spotted by planes and sunk.

In reply to Ridge:


After 30 years associated with the defence industry, I can now observe from the sidelines as an interested bystander. I was present when an eminent marine architect had an epic rant when he was told that the design for the new aircraft carrier was going to have to be changed to do catapult launching. The rant started along the lines of, "Oh well that's just ******* great. Where the **** is the ******* steam going to come from and what the **** are the ******* catapults going to be fixed to and how the **** is the steam going to get from whatever ******* makes it to the ******* catapults and where are we going to put everything ******* else that's in the ******** way?"

He wasn't happy. They changed their minds back again later, of course.

In reply to Toerag:
I think they tend to run a bit deeper than the Med...

But it does raise the suggestion of a chameleon or (perhaps more appropriately) cuttlefish coating...

In reply to graeme jackson:


It gives me the horn

In reply to nniff:

I liked your post. I vehemently dislike the entirely avoidable, very wasteful and ultimately - in terms of outcome - insane business with out "aircraft" "carriers".

In reply to Removed UserDeleted bagger:

or sonar even. or maybe even just a basic chart

In reply to JJL:


Me too!... I used to feel slightly guilty about that, but now I positively celebrate it.

... If only it were easier to find single narwhals on Tinder in the Manchester area.

In reply to Clauso:


If you stopped asking to rub their magic horn with an owl they wouldnt all block you.