VIDEO - The World's Angriest Boulderer

© Alex Salt

Have you ever found yourself shouting and screaming at a piece of rock? Inventing swear words that you didn't know that you knew? If so, this video will probably make you feel better about failing on your project.

'That time I tried Le P'tit Toit (f6B)​' has been doing the rounds on the internet for the past few days and despite his newfound fame, Stoke-based Alex Salt found the time to do a mini-interview with us about his Fontainebleau failures (see below)...

***WARNING*** - Language inappropriate for children or those of a sensitive disposition.

What made you try it?
I like traverses, and my mates said it would suit me, it's overhanging and slopey, it sounded like my ideal problem. Turns out I was wrong.

What was going through your mind when you kept falling off?

This is the last go. I'll walk away after this go.
This is the last go. I'll walk away after this go.
This is the last go. I'll walk away after this go.
Ouch, I banged my shin again.
This is the last go. I'll walk away after this go.
I wish Andy would stop laughing at me.
If I do this, I can have that final beer in the bag.
This is the last go. I'll walk away after this go.
Pretty much that.

You say you're normally pretty calm...what was different on this day?

I am normally pretty calm, in fact, I'd had a really good day's climbing that day. I think that the fact that it was a lovely day, I'd been climbing well, then a problem that seemed made for me was causing me so much hassle really rubbed me up the wrong way. That, and it's 6b......

How many attempts did you actually have?

Probably about a million. That's how it felt at least.

How did it feel to leave it unfinished?

Kind of sad, kind of relieved. Though I did smash my already ruined shin into a rock when putting my mat on, which really cheered me up. Andy of course nearly wet himself laughing.

Have you reconciled your differences with the boulder - which you told to "just f*cking die"?

No, I left it that day and haven't been back to Font since. I plan on going in April with the same group of friends, and I absolutely didn't plan on ever going back to it again, but after all this, it seems I have no choice.

Any advice for dealing with post-failure frustration?

La Gâtine beer and getting drunk with friends in the gîte afterwards. It's the only logical way. It was a fairly laid back trip which involved drinking, then climbing. Also, the beam challenge, to see who can do the most laps around the big beam in the gîte, usually after a few beers. I say usually, by the time we got back there, we had usually had a couple. Two girls on that trip decided to do the easy circuits, then have a victory sambuca shot every time they climbed something.

They actually climbed harder than normal.

What's your favourite reactionary swear-phrase when you fall off?! 

I've never really considered that, though I guess I went through a few in that video. I guess telling the rock to go and die is the new favourite one.

Alex is sponsored by: his swear jar... and The Anger Management Company

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11 Oct, 2016
11 Oct, 2016
Thanks for sharing, most entertaining. Although not very manly, I find crying helps in this type of situation.
11 Oct, 2016
He should move on to Beurre Marga at Isatis next... :-)
11 Oct, 2016
I know nobody believes me, but I'm really not that angry.
11 Oct, 2016
Positively tame compared to many tantrums I've seen. I much preferred Frank's take on the matter.
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