I first started climbing while I was writing up my PhD and it was love at first sight. I found that climbing was the perfect stress relief at the end of a days writing. I climbed at the local wall almost every night over a four month period and by the time I finished my PhD I was keen as mustard to get onto real rock. I moved down to Plymouth for a new job and I was desperate to find people to climb with so I joined the local climbing. It was there that I met an entirely disreputable character called Mr Farquhar or the Fucker as he is more politely known. I had a fantastic summer seconding some amazing routes that were pretty hard and I got even stronger.

About a year went by before a very good friend Leanne suggested that it was maybe time for me to get on the sharp end. Leanne was someone I really admired and if I could be half the climber she was then I would be happy. So when she recommended another climbing partner to me naturally I trusted her judgement. “I've got a friend who is a solid VS leader you guys should go lead some easy routes together”. No problem I thought I can second E5, VS should be a piece of cake. So we headed off to the Dewerstone our local crag and Helen fancied a crack at the 3 star VS classic Leviathan. She was about half way up the route and seemed pretty much in control, so I had one eye on her and one on the guidebook eagerly thinking about my first lead. It took less than a second for her to hit the ground. Her gear didn't rip but the rope only went tight as she hit the deck. The rope did stop her breaking her pelvis but she fell backwards and whacked her head (luckily she had a helmet on). As her eyes rolled to the back of her head I felt sick. It took five hours to get her onto a spinal board and off the ledge.

I am not a religious person but I do remember praying “please God just make sure she is okay and I promise I will never climb again”. She did make a full recovery but I definitely wasn't going to give up climbing. Unfortunately I was now very scared of leading. I don't think it had occurred to me up until this point that I could possibly hurt myself but now it all seemed a bit too real. I didn't consider leading again for about another year and in this time I met my boyfriend who happened to be a very good climber.

Yet again I was dragged from pillar to post always seconding never leading. The few occasions that I tried to lead were a disaster and ended up with me in tears. It didn't help that my then boyfriend kept making comments like “you're strong enough you should be leading E2 easy”. It just compounded my already low self esteem. My lowest point was a climbing trip in Lundy where all the people on the trip were experienced leaders. I was trying to lead a HVS and as per usual I was having an epic. I ended up shouting at my belayer (my boyfriend) and not enjoying the experience at all. To make things worse when we got back to the campsite one of my friends turned to my boyfriend and said “If my girlfriend spoke to me like that I would take her off belay and walk away”.

For the first time ever I wanted to give up climbing. I felt like a complete failure. I wanted to enjoy leading, not be totally gripped before I have even left the ground. In the end I split up with my boyfriend and all of a sudden I no longer had a leader to follow. I had a choice either give up climbing or get off my ass and start leading. So that is what I did, lots of easy routes, no pressure, and more importantly left my ego at home.

Then after a couple of months I received a phone call from one of my old friends from Plymouth and it occurred to me that if I wanted to banish my demons I needed to go back and lead that route.

As I walked up to the crag I was nervous but when I stood under the route I was surprisingly calm. I felt like a totally different person. I could already see the three bomber looking placements so I proceeded to lace the first half of the route quite happily until I got to the roof. I could see where Helen had placed her last piece of gear and if I wanted to lead the route safely I need to place something above the roof before making the crux move. I poked my head nervously around the roof to find several solid wire placements. I put way too much gear in but I didn't care. I actually enjoyed it and the sense of relief when I pulled over the top was immense. Finally I felt like a proper climber and ever since then I have never looked back.

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Write approximately 500 words about your first outdoor lead and supply an image of you climbing (not necessarily your first lead) and submit to: http://www.ukclimbing.com/articles/send.html

The competition will be judged by us here at DMM and the winner announced on Monday 24th December and will win a complete DMM rack worth £500.

But more than that, everyone who submits an essay will receive a spot prize.

More details HERE