UKC

I want some good climbing jokes and phrases !!

New Topic
This topic has been archived, and won't accept reply postings.
 JJ Spooner 29 Nov 2009
as it says on the tin...

I WANT SOME GOOD CLIMBING JOKES OR PHRASES

i will start:

That crack is big enough for your whole fist
 Timmd 29 Nov 2009
In reply to Jonathan Spooner:

'If you can put your right foot where your left hand is you're usually alright.'

A saying either from the Oread Mountaineering club or the East Yorkshire Climbing & Mountaineering Club.

()
 Malcolm 29 Nov 2009
In reply to Jonathan Spooner:

Whats the difference between a climber and a golfer?
A golfer goes "whack, SHIT!!"
A climber goes "SHIT!!, whack"
 Chris Craggs Global Crag Moderator 29 Nov 2009
In reply to Jonathan Spooner:
> as it says on the tin...
>
>
> That crack is big enough for your whole fist

How is that a good climbing joke or phrase then?


Chris
 Ander 29 Nov 2009
In reply to Chris Craggs:

> How is that a good climbing joke or phrase then?
>
>
> Chris

Agreed- it's totally lame
 Ander 29 Nov 2009
In reply to Malcolm:

That, however, does have some humour.
 Caralynh 29 Nov 2009
In reply to Malcolm:

What's the difference between a climber and a goldfish?
A goldfish mucks about in fountains, a climber.......
 Tony the Blade 29 Nov 2009
In reply to Jonathan Spooner:

Why climbing is better than sex. A man's perspective
When you climb, you only have to get yourself to the peak.
If you climb with someone other than your regular partner, no one gets mad, in fact, you can all three climb together and share protection!
You can reuse your protection, and someone else even cleans for you, provided you don't put it in too deep.
There IS such a thing as being too overhung.
You can get belayed without first bekissing.
A good hand jam can be as satisfying as any other kind of jam.
No matter how many times you fall off, you can always climb back on.
Having a belay slave is not a criminal offence.
The rocks never expect you to call afterward.
Friction is a positive quality when you're climbing.
The rocks don't care if you show up late.
The rocks don't complain after 7 or 8 pitches.
When you're climbing, a good two-finger jam will support your body weight.
Your belayer never hesitates when you yell "TAKE!"
When you're climbing, weird body positions are considered "cool".
The rocks don't scream for help when you try for the on-sight flash.
Your climbing partner doesn't complain when you don't want to do cracks anymore and want to do some face.
A three-finger pocket isn't too big.
You don't have to wait an hour after getting pumped-out.

---------------

Why climbing is better than sex. A woman's perspective
The rock is always hard.
Rocks are never busy watching football when you'd rather climb.
Rocks don't complain about the kind of protection you want to use.
You can go climbing with another woman and nobody will call you names or hassle you.
You can use ropes and harnesses and nobody will think you're kinky.
You can go climbing any time of the month.
It's over when *you* reach the peak.
You won't die of embarrassment if your mother finds your rock gear.
If it's in too deep, you can yank on a nut.
Nobody ever got pregnant rock climbing!
If you need something REAL BIG, you can always put in a Big Bro'!

New Topic
This topic has been archived, and won't accept reply postings.
Loading Notifications...