UKC

A recent thread mentioning Security Consultant reminded me of a job I once saw advertised as follows:

Night-time stock replenishment officer

Anyone else got any classic Job Titles?

In reply to Route Adjuster: ambieant replenishment, a shelf staker lol

In reply to Route Adjuster:

I was (unofficially) Photon Director.

In reply to Route Adjuster:

id feel a right w*nker if i were a 'sandwich artist' at subway. what, sandwich....artist?? i didn't think you were supposed to eat paintings, or maybe its just the lettuce thats painted on, oh i don't know, i come from a simple family!!!

In reply to Route Adjuster:

Fusion Technician (Welder)

Termal & Acoustic Dynamics Technician (Roofer)

In reply to Rid Skwerr:

Now that just sounds cool. Did they respond to your directions or just randomly do what they wanted?

In reply to Route Adjuster: I used to be assistant to the director of farms and operations manager roughly translated as the directors bitch

In reply to wizz walker:

Ooops that should read THERMAL....,etc.

In reply to wizz walker:

I taught you might be Oirish there for a minute.

In reply to Route Adjuster:

There's an element of uncertainty about that.

In reply to Route Adjuster:
The call centre people at my old workplace were 'Customer Account Executives'.

Everyone else just called them Phone Team Monkeys...

In reply to Route Adjuster:

I'm an art director!

Fex.

In reply to Rid Skwerr:

They were good to work with though, always in two places at once, but when you wanted one you never quite knew where they were.

In reply to Route Adjuster:

f'ing P.r. b*llocks!!!!

In reply to Route Adjuster: media distribution and sales = paper boy

In reply to Route Adjuster:
train presentation operative = train cleaner

In reply to Route Adjuster:

Corporate retardation manager = my last boss

In reply to Route Adjuster:

Friend o`mine used to be an Aeronautics sanitation supervisor @ Schipol airport.
Basically he washed planes on turnaround for departure, got sacked for continually wearing waterproofs with the words "Cleaning Bitch" proudly emblazoned across the back.

In reply to Route Adjuster:

Transparent vertical light enhanser technician.

( window cleaner)

In reply to Carpe Diem:

Didn't Johny claim to be a refuse disposal operator at one time as a joke?

I always thought he was a highways hygenist,

In reply to Route Adjuster:

If you want to have a confusing job title, look towards the military. My next job title is, the exciting, SO1 J5 AFLAC. I could tell you what it means but I'd have to kill you .

Do other uniform services (Police, Fire)have similar confusions

In reply to Route Adjuster: In the amateur days when he worked, Darren Garforth, the former Leicester and England prop used to call himself a "tubular technician". He was a scaffolder.

In reply to Rid Skwerr:


Are you sure about that?

In reply to Route Adjuster:

A tw*t came into work last week, he wanted a wall box to put his "Customer Suidance Systems" in.

It was a little pamphelet with a map of his shop and a price list.

It actually had 'Customer Guidance System' written on the front.

I just instantly lost all respect for the guy.

Mat

In reply to Route Adjuster: surface engineer: cleaner

In reply to Route Adjuster:
Lazy bone idle sponging bar stewards = politicians

In reply to Route Adjuster:

Strategic Vehicular Placement Officer = car park attendant

In reply to Route Adjuster:

Glass transparency engineer = window cleaner

In reply to matnoo:

maybe he had a sense of humour?

In the credits of a film made with CGI someone always gets credited as 'Data Wrangler'.

In reply to Route Adjuster:

Anyone remember that awful job desired by so many girls from the secondary school, comptometer operator? I doubt many knew what it involved but it sounded good.

In reply to Route Adjuster: there is a woman who works in the next offcie to me who is the psycho-social administration manager .. who is in fact a typist ....

In reply to Route Adjuster: also, talking of films what about grips.. and best boy ? (can a chick be a best boy ?)

In reply to Route Adjuster:

Qualified Liquid Stimulant Operative = Barman

In reply to Route Adjuster:

I get p*ssed off with the word 'engineer' being stuck on the end of job titles of certain professions. I'm an engineer and have a civil engineering degree to prove it.

People who clean my office are not 'commercial cleaning engineers' they are cleaners, a very important role might I add, but role that did not require 3 years at uni to qualify for.

Same applies to 'domestic engineers' aka housewife/house husband.

In reply to Cú Chullain:
Oooohhhh get the handbags out