In reply to Paul Saunders:
Just to further your education . . . :
Almscliff – Just overhanging enough to be annoying, while not overhanging enough to be spectacular. Hard on the arms, hence the name.
Burbage – To improvise in the face of disaster. “I had to burbage some prussik loops out of my shoelaces and the elastic off my pants”
Crafnant - a type of small semi-camming nut with a distinctive oval fish-piece and knurled wings. "There's a bomber Crafnant in that pocket"
Dumbarton – the classic flat-on-back pratfall resulting from slick rock shoes on wet grass.
Eastby – the classic navigational error in which the wrong end of the compass needle is lined up with the wrong place, the resultant bearing being 180 degrees out
Froggatt – the small downward bounce just before the giant upward dyno
Great Wanney – one who lets loose rock and absent protection become an excuse for not doing the route “Gerron up it you great wanney!”
Hardingstone - a particularly sling-eating chockstone. "We got the rope stuck in the hardingstone, and it took us four hours to get it out."
Ilkley - worryingly thin, to the point of non-existance "Watch me! It's a bit Ilkley up here!"
Jack Rock – to gently trundle small stones onto one’s belayer for the purpose of attracting his attention. “In dire need of slack, Angus was forced to jack rock onto the snoozing Gerald”.
Kepier - To make moves whose precise nature one cannot subsequently remember when queried by one’s second. "How the f*ck did you get up this?” ”Eh? You what? Oh, I dunno, I just sort of kepiered up it."
Lawrencefield – the area below the crag containing mud, sheep, and boulders which turn out both to be deficient in worthwile problems and be completely useless to bivvy under.
Markfield – the flood-prone boggy bit at the bottom of the campsite, to which the warden exiles school parties, boy scouts and anyone arriving after the pubs have shut
Nesscliffe – any crag which would be famous were it not for the vegetation, lack of height, lack of gear, lack of climbable rock, lack of any rock etc. “Finedon’s a bit of a nesscliffe, but it’s in the Leicester guide so there must be something there.”
Orme - an unattractive mixture of rain, mud and slime. "Eurrgh! This ledge's all covered in orme - and there's a dead pigeon on it!"
Pontesford – to climb on domestic objects when no more conventional climbing is available. Examples include the undersides of ladders, the outsides of bannisters and the world-famous pontesford ‘skirting-board traverse’ at 221a Pitt Street, Slough.
Quayfoot – the interesting effect of new rockshoes on sweaty feet. “Proudly sporting a new pair of Kamets, Will had a glorious case of green Quayfoot by the end of the evening”
Reiff – of ropes, to tangle deliberately in order to exasperate their owners. “Wilfred found that his grandson had left the rope covered in mud and badly reiffed”
Slipstones - the small rocks at the bottom of the crag that always cause more injuries than the actual climbing "I solo'd the route Ok, but I fell over a slipstone at the bottom and took all the skin off my knees"
Thrunton - The stone compound in which the campsite owner keeps the dustbins. "The bogs? Over there behind the thrunton."
Untitled Boulder – Got some excellent problems on it – a bold arete, a lovely smeary slab, a powerful dyno up the back. Unfortunately it is only six inches high and being used to hold the gate open.
Vivian – The green slime that turns out to be several inches deep on the crucial holds.
Wainstone - What looks like a nice solid chockstone but turns out not to be. "Sh*t! It's a f*cking wainstone! Watch me, this is f*cking desperate!"
Crag X – It’s on the map. It’s in the guide. So where the f*ck is it? It must be round here somewhere . . . is that it? No, we went past that bit half an hour ago . . .
Yarncliffe – a crag containing many easy short routes with good top belays, hence usually infested with topropes. “Burbage South’s a bit of a yarncliffe at weekends”
Zawn – the frantic scream of a beginner plummeting six inches onto a toprope.
