UKC

Just can't seem to get up anything hard - I cut my hair short but it doesn't seem to make any difference. I'm trying to eat the right stuff - what's the best type of KFC to give me extra power.
I've also started wearing my t shirts really tight as well - but again it doesn't help.

Any ideas ????

In reply to NelsonJ:

taps aff not tight.

In reply to Removed User:

Have you tried a beanie?

In reply to ianstevens:

+1 for the beanie, that will sort it

In reply to jshields:

And some tatty cheap string bracelet things, preferably made in a 3rd world co-op or by an ex who was into cystalography

In reply to jshields:


topless or a vest helps too.

Not forgetting there is direct correlation between the size of your chalk bag and ability.

In reply to NelsonJ:
Grunt, scream,beanie ,no shirt, sitting cross legged looking at the woody,crappy bracelets,talk in riddles,live in a van.if any of these are missing you just ain't gonna make the grade

Never leave your UKC account logged on at work!

AGGGHHH!

In reply to NelsonJ:

Do some Yoga, get dreads, wear Prana pants and go Buddhist.

In reply to mrgleb:


^ this. Wearing Prana is guaranteed to raise your onsight level by a few grades, bouldering or routes.

In reply to NelsonJ:

Get a para-chord bracelet, they're good for two tech grades.

In reply to NelsonJ:
You need an audience, they don't have to be admiring, you just need to convince yourself they are, physical props for a mental game.

In reply to NelsonJ:

The truth is already listed above but DO NOT forget to change your diet. At the crag or at the gym, regardless of the length of the walk-in, you must only eat CLIFF bars. After a work out, protein shakes must be consumed - the more radioactive the colour, the better. Learn about the words "granola" and "burrito" and apply that knowledge to your new diet.

Other life-style changes can help, too. For example, only approach shoes are known to preserve that vital foot-shape you should be seeking so you should wear them at all times - even in the city, on the tube and at work.

In reply to SteveD:

Cheers Steve, top advice, does it matter what colour they are?

In reply to Xharlie:

Diet is really important i find. Remember to have your 5 a day: that being 5 Irn Bru or Tennents a day. Tests for this are still in the beta stage but results are looking good!

In reply to NelsonJ:

You need dread locks for sport climbing (Ben Moon). You need a beard for Mountaineering (Bonnington). You need to wear a beanie for bouldering (every knob in the country). You need a winey American accent and a certain air of superiority for crack climbing.

In reply to Aigen:
The dreads have been gone a *long* time now, and he still seems to manage the odd route now and then.

Tom Randall and Pete Whittaker seem to manage ok.

In reply to NelsonJ:

forget KFC, these days its all Double MaccyD.
forget the shirt, you have to show youre six pack and muscles.
add the beanie, essential.

There, youve jumped 3 grades at least.

In reply to weelee9985:


I've been trying this with the Whillians training plan..

..but find after 5 pints, 5 pies, 5 fights and 5 other peoples wives I don't have much time left for climbing.



Also if you do buy prana pants, make sure they are as disgustingly lurid as possible, as lime green/pink/purple instantly gives you the ability to one-arm slopers.