UKC

How quick can you do it - in winter and in summer.
My record is 3 hours to the minute, road to road (from near Savills house to Clachaig).
Just interested, blagging not intended - it is probably quite slow anyway compared to what you whipper snappers are doing!

In reply to Mountain God Andrew: 12 hours mate, wi a wee kip overnight on one o the wee towers

In reply to Cul Maw:

Cool, winter I assume - I ommitted to say mine was in summer! Not yet done it in the winter.

In reply to Mountain God Andrew: 59 minutes.

And that includes the 20 min drive from Inverness, AND the obligatory pint in the Clachaig after. and in winter too, in my daps. quite good eh?

In reply to Mountain God Andrew:

Years ago I heard of a guy who did the Aonach Eagach and the Three sisters in six hours Clachaig to Clachaig.

I'd imagine it's been done faster though.

In reply to Mountain God Andrew:
Blaggin'? Shirley Braggin'?
Noo normally i would shake ma heid in disdain
and move oan tae anither thread. Ye need tae be telt tho'..

Why, oh why, and aye, why?
The hills arenae for racin' aboot oan, Andwoo.
There's so much tae look at..
"Och Elspeth, wid ye jist look at those lovely wee flowers!
Dae ye think they're the Alpine Ladies Mantle, eh?"
or ye could get oot the binos and check the stunning lines of Fingals Chimney, Against all Odds, etc oan Aonach Dubh
(and wish that yer ain new routes followed such logical direct lines.. ken whit ah mean, eh? )

A real Mountain God would treat the hills wi' mair respect, ahm sure?
SP

In reply to Stac Pollaidh:

I once made the traverse from Clatty Pat's to Barbeque Kings in 15 seconds. Can any qunt match that?

In reply to Stac Pollaidh: That's almost poetry that is Stac lad.

Got a wee tear in my eye now I have.

In reply to wee Davie and WCDave:
aye, but whit nonsense!
Record breakin' traverse indeed!

In reply to Mountain God Andrew:
When I did the Aonach Eagach years ago we did it from the Glencoe Youth hostel and came down to Lagangarbh under the Buc.I got the impression 90% of walkers start way up the valley and come down to the Clach.
Surely this isn't a true traverse ?

In reply to Stac Pollaidh:

I did an ass scent of the Long Reach on Etive Slabs in only a Tony Blair mask, boxing gloves and roller blades.

2 months it took.

In reply to wee Davie:
Well I've been going 29 years now and still not made it to the start of the traverse...

In reply to Nikkus:

Were you the one in the Ronald Raygun mask?

You should have picked the mask of a more modern power monger.

In reply to wee Davie: the long reach must have been problematical for you, ma wee pal..
Still havenae done it.

In reply to Mountain God Andrew: Hi dude,ah see yer at it again.Ah once took 10 hrs tae dae Clachaig gully,due to ragin thunderstorm,guid route tho....

In reply to wee Davie:
It was the only one left in the shop.

And to think, i wanted George Pepard.

In reply to Mountain God Andrew: don't like to blow my own trumpet again, but I once did the Greater Queen Mary Rock Traverse(going via the bat boxes) in 52 minutes. Aye, knackered I was.

And that was in my daps as well. And in winter. Not bad eh?

In reply to Mountain God Andrew:

What the preoccupation with speed? AE is supposed to be enjoyed. Not raced along....

In reply to Mountain God Andrew: bloddy hell I am glad that i am not mountian god andrews trummpet, because I would be bloddy knackered and people would be sick and tired of my fanfare waking them up every day.
p.s. three hours ish (I wasn't timeing it I was just out for a run) red squirle to red squirle.

In reply to wee Davie:

NOPE! but I once had couple of fingers in a tight crack within 15 minutes of getting into Clatty Pats!!! Is that a new record can I call myself Shaggin God Censored??

In reply to CENSORED: tight crack? clatty's?

I dont believe it, ne pas possible in that place, was it on the ceiling?

In reply to Cul Maw: ROTFLMAO!

I've got fat fingers and an even fatter.............

In reply to Stac Pollaidh:

Ye are a foolish boy. The hills treat ME with respect. Go and stick your tounge in a bowl of soapy water and wash it out.
Are you knowin nofin?

As for all ye non believers oot there just remember who you're talkin to ere.

In reply to CENSORED:

Belly?

In reply to CENSORED:

Permission granted. MGA

In reply to Stac Pollaidh:

I heard your legs are like jelly and your tums grown from too much telly?

In reply to Mountain God Andrew:

Better to have a fat belly than a fat head!!

In reply to Elspeth ( while enjoyin' a wee dander oan the AE):
Aye, it sure is a braw day, is it no?
Whit the f*ck, ha ha!! check oot the state o' this plank runnin' towards us!
Zooom....
ignorant git, eh? niver even acknowledged oor presence..
Did ye see that "I've climbed Ben Nevis" T-shirt he'd oan?
An' that sweatband oan his heid?!

HAW PAL, DAE YE THINK YER BJORN BORG, EH??

Look Elspeth, he's jist slipped! he's oan his erse!
snigger

In reply to Stac Pollaidh: ROTFLMAO!

Looking forward to the "report" of various "Variations", could he be a Lloyd-Webber?

In reply to Stac Pollaidh:

Eye, but at least I can walk without extra elpins of thickner mr jelly legs! Ye see ya mai be tony the tiger at scotich phrases, but ye com nowhere neer the MGA when it comith to the hillistuff.

Far too much thought required -- southerners speak like this don't you know?
Anyway, why the f**k are my threads always oblitterated by numbnuts like you lot, you bunch of apes. For bl*din sake I start up a decent thread and the next thing I know there it is used as a kids playground.

In reply to Mountain God Andrew:
you start a decent thread? a bit like Bernard Manning giving lodgings to a group of coloured people.

Ever wondered why people take the piss, its cos you are stood in the coconut shy.

In reply to Mountain God Andrew:

, but ye com nowhere neer the MGA when it comith to the hillistuff.

Couldn't agree more, you and Stac are in completely different leagues.

So what grade was this new route you did and how many stars would you give it?

In reply to Mountain God Andrew:

I believe the summer "record" is 2hrs 10mins by Andy Curtis (Carnethy Hillrunners)road to road!

In reply to Removed User:

Absolutely. But it'll give him a chuckle when he sees it. Although in yer defence MGA i have to say 'Mr Jellylegs' is quite funny.

In reply to WCDave:

where do you get these daps then?

In reply to ian bryant: Matalan. £3.99. Bargain eh?

London Welshman? Me-Scottish Welshman. Nice to have another one to wind Horse up.

In reply to WCDave:
Although in yer defence MGA i have to say 'Mr Jellylegs' is quite funny.

I thought so too!

Back to the real case here though, I mean, what is goin on? We all do the climing type thingy, and enjoy it. But when it comes to havin a laf with yer fellow climbers then it all boils down to rippin each other apart - I mean where is the fun in that?
Now yee all know that I am the bestest climber to have ever hit the hills - so what is the problem? Just accept it.
Let it be.

In reply to Mountain God Andrew: is that why ya struggle oan Vs ma loon? and get loast oan grade IIIs?
and whits wi this 'jelly legs' pish? eez no goat 'jelly legs' fan hes goat iz steelie faldy beets oan, and giez ye a right gid kick in the nadz!!

In reply to Mountain God Andrew:

Aye, but not that funny.

I've no problem with you Great God of the Mountains. I find you very entertaining.



Hmmmmmm. There's possibly the answer to yer question in there somewhere.

In reply to WCDave:

WCDave, it has always bewildered me on what your name stands for. Is it really "Waste Closet Dave" coz thats what Stac P was saying just the other day.

In reply to Stac Pollaidh:
dae ye think he's OK Stac?

In reply to Elspeth:
Naw, ah think he's a bit PK, Elspeth..
Let's go an' see....




Ah dinna' believe it!
It's Jimmy Saville!!
Are ye allright, pal??

In reply to Jimmy Saville:
Could ye fix it for ma pal Mountain God Andrew
tae say somethin' funny?

In reply to Stac Pollaidh: Not even Sir Jim can work a miracle like that Stac.

In reply to WCDave: I don't know one of the funniest things that he could say would be "but my modesty doesn't permit to speak about it."

I'd piss myself if I ever read that in one of his postings!!

In reply to this thread:
A think MGA is a creation of Nick Smith designed tae get folk lookin at this board. jist like JCT disnae really exist oan rocktalk, thuv creatit this numpty tae stop Stac P, Gfoz an Wee Davie turnin this intae thur ain personal chatroom...

In reply to IanMcC: hear hear, their blockin the cyberwaves wi all their pash

In reply to Cul Maw:

Guilty as charged. I haven't talked so much schidt since I used to work in the Scabby. 'Hello CRP, David speaking'

By the way maw d'you want to go to the Soundhaus with my gid sel and Gazza the night?

Chat room, what chat room?

In reply to wee Davie:
Aye, guilty as charged too.
ah need help.
Maw's jus' as bad tho'
(will no' admit he has a problem,
at least we're halfway to recovery)

In reply to Stac Pollaidh:

There is nai chance of recovery wif wot you have. Personally I find you a load of cyber freaks and don't believe that any of you have ever actually seen a rock in your wee lives.

Noo if that is nai true then ye just cometh back and telleth me young keyboard bashers yoo.

In reply to IanMcC:

If yer conspiracy theory is right Ian, Auld Nick isnae daein' a very gid job..
Huv ye iver read such pish??! Ken ahm no' averse tae a bit o' shite patter masel' but FFS...!
SP
PS apologies by re way aboot us bein' cliquey annat
SP

In reply to Mountain God Andrew/Nick Smith:
a challenge...

OK MGA,
ah pledge tae repeat yer Tower Ridge Ravioli this winta
(shouldnae be too hard, looks a IV at the very most)

if ye repeat wan o' mines.
interested?
(ahll make sure it's a gid wan, give ye an insight intae whit a decent new route should look like..)
sTAC p.

In reply to StacP:
Ye've cracked it man, MGA is a creation o AULD NICK. Am aff tae hide in ma bed in a fit ae calvinist terror afore A get sandbagged intae daein some eejit winter route.
(Whit dae ye mean ONLY grade IV? Ye shid see me keechin it on IV at the sharp end!)

In reply to Stac Pollaidh: Aye, Stac, yer wanna take the MGods up to AT. Go on. Whatdya reckon, could the Gods follow you up one of yer own?

In reply to IanMcC: prob. mair like a hard III then.. amazed Nick hasnae zapped this thread, a gid idea o' yurs tae antagonize 'im, hasnae worked yet tho'.
Here's hopin'..

In reply to WCDave: AT's a gid idea, it'd be a gid laff seein' them thrash through the rhoddies oan the way back oot..
SP(ootin' pash nae mair oan this thread).

(will e-mail ye MGA aboot the challenge).

In reply to Stac Pollaidh & Small David: half way to recovery!!? ha haheeehauuuuuuuaaaeee!!!!!

In reply to Cul Maw:

YESSSSSS!!!!!!

I'm out of the top 5.

Get it right up ye.

In reply to Stac Pollaidh:


You're all talk you Northern folk you. You have nai balls to even attempt a route like mine. What is the hardest mr Jelly Legs has ever attempted then? IIa? Did ya make it, did ya fall, or did ya back down?
It would only be fair if ye did it in the same conditions AND jumped the you know what (bearing in mind it is due for that rock fall, and SMC say Noooo, you can always try jumpin from somewhere else me lad - I suggest the Eifel tower)
If you make it then I buy you a drink, if you don't then you must come clean to everyone here about your sex change.

I'll be up for it, I heard your routes were all a piece of pish.

In reply to Mountain God Andrew: thats a good picture in your profile dude, shows your face well..

In reply to Cul Maw: Shows nice shiny new kit too. And gloves, and goretex.

In reply to Modified Genetically Andrew:
Think the crux of your "route" will be findin' a partner sad enough to climb it with me...
Pollaidh, Pollaidh, ya Sick Parrot, ye!! Wastin' precious winta days, ah despair.

MGA, this rockfall ye refer to i think has already happened, and prob. prior to your much-advertised "jump", if that ever happened, which i doubt..
Still, i'm a man of ma word, so guess i'll have to.
erse, erse, erse...

In reply to Stac Pollaidh: Ach, you've walked into that one, ma pal.

Will there be an announcement when MGA takes up the challenge you set him Stac. Just that I'd like to pop along and have a wee look(just to say I wuz there like).

In reply to WCDave:
slightly pissed when i proposed the challenge, Dave.
mair than slightly pissed off noo tho'..
announcement? guess we'll need tae work somethin' oot along those lines, aye. will keep ye informed.
Ye widnae like to partner me oan Ravioli, eh? No? aye, thought not..

In reply to Mountain God Andrew:
A think ye shid team up wi "Yer Maw"- ye's deserve each ither.

In reply to Stac Pollaidh: MGAs no a bonny sight is he? need to keep an eye oot for him eh

just sent ye an e-mail by de way

In reply to Stac Pollaidh:

Poor old SP, can findeth no one brave enough to try me route with, aggghhhhhh.

Hey if me kits new then why has it soo many patches - suppose you cannot see those though from me portrait.

Announcement - I have a TV crew coming to film me do your route. the title of the mini film will be "The easy way up" I'm taking a load of inner London school kids up with us for a field trip, you know - a nice gentle walk like.

Hey if I said we jumped it - we jumped it OK. And no I am not doin it again, OK.

In reply to Mountain God Andrew:

There's definitely a touch of the Silvester Stallones about you. Do most of the moves on your routes involve large crowd pleasing dynos?

When does the fanclub open? I have five scottish pound waiting for the signed fotie, know, annat, big man?

Ayyyyyydriennnnnnnnne!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In reply to Mountain God Andrew:
You lied, you never jumped the gap, just did a head stand in it and that bridged it. Do the sharp rocks not scratch your forehead?

In reply to wee Davie: Hucking fell, this threads been going 8 days now.

I reckon MGA should try and repeat my gradeI*** classic Ben Wyvis-West Face Direct route. Weaves a cunning route up the mighty W.Face of BW. Took me 20 years to get that one. And if that don't scare you senseless, the icing on the cake(a rather mad one, which I wouldn't advise others to do) requires you to stand on the trig point, arms outstretched, and then lift one leg(so the photo makes it look like yer skating,like).

Hmmm, unlikely we'll hear anymore of the young lad now. If yer repeat that one I'll give you 20p.

In reply to Mountain God Andrew:
I repeat: team up wi Yer Maw his "years of winter climbing" (Grade V) will temper your undoubted youthful enthusiasm. Don't get jealous of his good looks, though

In reply to Mountain God Andrew: ya facking poikeee!! howz about ya repeat one o Stacs VII's?

In reply to Swag:
Hmm.. not aware i've led real VII..

In reply to Mountain God Andrew:
Have e-mailed you, sir.

In reply to WCDave:

(In reply to Sutty)
I may be a Mountain God, but I am not impervious to pain (sorry if this upsets you), of course me bonze does not get grazed - I wear a helmet. It is moost useful when standing on your head - if you get a mate to spin you, you can go for about 3 hours without topplin!

The fan club has begun!? - thinking about getting sponsored for all your routes, if you lot raise enough (judged by me) then I will climb a selection of your junior school routes and give the money to a good cause.

MGA

In reply to Mountain God Andrew:
you the man mGa..
ahm yur No.1 fan, yes ah ahm..!,
are ye up to the challenge tho'?
eh? eh??

In reply to IanMcC:

Ian, you're not the Ian McC***** who's also known as "Big Ian" or "Buzz Lightyear", are you?

In reply to Rob Naylor:
Naw.

In reply to Mountain God Andrew:
grazed -

oan the grass again are ye MgA mA?

>I wear a helmet.

and me too..

>It is moost useful when standing on your head - if you get a mate to spin you, you can go for about 3 hours without topplin!

Wibbles wobble but they don't fall over
or so ahm told..> SP

>The fan club has begun!?

aye, yur gainin' a loyal followin'!! ( for reasons ambiguous? )

>- thinking about getting sponsored for all your routes,

Aye that jaiket o' yours is lookin' awffy tatty..

>if you lot raise enough (judged by me)

let me be the judge of that matter..

then I will climb a selection of your junior school routes and give the money to a good cause.

Can't say better than that, old bean

In reply to Mountain God Andrew:
you got a helmet? I knew the millienium dome would come in handy somewhere.

In reply to Mountain God Andrew:

Andy, don't listen to these sceptics.
Us winter climber groupies know you're the best.
In fact, having heard so much about your manly abilities we're dead keen to meet you in person (nudge, nudge, know what we mean?).
Like you we have a taste for Goretex. We all sport they Berghaaaaws jaikets annat. We'd really like tae meet ye. We'll be five fourteen yr old girls in Berghawseees, we'll huv oor trackies tucked intae a set ae big thick soacks amd we'll have oor names on necklaceeees as well as medallion rings, big man.
Meet ye at the Possil chippy the night then.

In reply to foxy winter groupies:

I get this kind a thing requested a lot from me, being the big tuf god like hunk that I am.

(Down the chip shop then - I'll meet you there then lovelies).

Kisses MGA

In reply to sutty:

Are you takin the pis?
Cos MGA does not like people who taketh the pis noo.
You know what I mean?

In reply to Stac Pollaidh:

I am afraid that your routes are na goin to be challengin enough for my field trip party of kids. But to make it more impressive for the cameras etc, we have decided to do it blindfold. You know, just to give it a bit of interest.
(the camermen are allowed to go un-blindfolded - that would just be daft otherwise).

For those of you that want to meet me, I'll be at the cippie then. You cant miss me, just look up.

In reply to Mountain God Andrew: Tw*t!

In reply to CENSORED: Why did it censor tw*t?

I didn't type TW@, it was tw*t?

In reply to Mountain God Andrew: Wazzock!

In reply to Mountain God Andrew:

Go on yersel big man. Don't let widespread public derision/ scorn put you off your vocation as the best entertainment since the TV was invented.
Actually that's shite example 'cos telly sucks. Ah dinnae watch it.
Keep it up anyway. I find you amusing.

In reply to wee Davie:

Why I thank you greatly, your're not so bad yourself as it goes.
(wink, wink)

In reply to Stac Pollaidh: How dare you call ma gorgeous MGA a wassock, you shrivelled wee prune you!

In reply to Stac Pollaidh:

>Wazzock

Hey, abuse time is it, first tw*t then wazzock? What have I ever done to hurt you lot?

Us climbers should stick together like pof on sandstone. (OK, so now I either say a) that I have never used pof, and only seen it on sale in France, or b) run!)

Why not come up with something original - like a new climbing insult, for example... dank.
It is my new 'modern art' word for wet slimey to**er.
If it is a word already, then continue calling me by the usual means.

Otherwise just all pist off and stop wasting time on the computer.

(P.S I have never used pof)

In reply to Senga fae the Possil chippy:


Cheque is in the post, tenner was it?

In reply to Mountain God Andrew:
I have just realised, you are the male equivalent of jct, but with only 10% of her brains. Do come to the almscliff picnic and perform for us, we are having a seal that can balance a ball on its nose. Are you good enough to challenge a seal?

In reply to Mountain God Andrew:
yur allright big man,
stac paid the bill.

In reply to Senga Mcewan:

I feel as though I know you Senga, or is it yer 'maw'?

In reply to Mountain God Andrew:
i'll buy you a deep-fried Mars bar or Bounty,
if you fulfill your part of the challenge..

you're boun' TAe lose
SP

Oh, senga just e-mailed, she climbs grade VI,
and fancied an easy day oot for a lady,
we'll dae Ravioli! then.. after lunch,
whitever's lookin' gid.

In reply to Stac Pollaidh:

Where does this Ravioli go?

Oh aye, regards to Senga.

In reply to wee Davie: Thought they'd renamed the route? What to though?

In reply to wee Davie:
you don't know??!
you climb Tower Ridge to the little Tower,
then leave it and climb up the east wall
for a whiley to regain the ridge,
which you follow on past the "true" Eastern Traverse,
then ye jump Tower Gap!

In reply to wee Davie: If i remember rightly.

Come off well before the E Traverse(in the mistaken belief that yer on it). When mistake is realised, climb back up to main ridge. Then claim a new route.

In reply to Stac Pollaidh:

Going where no man has gone before, eh?

Sounds absolutely tremendous. I'll make a note to avoid that yin.

What style of jump is allowed? Scissor kicks or Fosbury flop?

In reply to wee Davie:
avoid it? oh, don't do that..
MGA is a visionary i think,
Ravioli is a pointer to the future,
when the supply of gid new lines eventually dries up.
50 years ahead of his time?
discuss..

if ye can be ersed, that is.

In reply to wee Davie:

I once got (well several times in fact) from the start of the Aonach Eagach to the Clachaig in about two minutes, maybe three, possibly breaking the speedlimit but we had driven up from London and there was a severe danger the Clachaig would shut before we got there.

In reply to Dave Collier:
and what time did you arrive to find the clachaig likely to close? Open all hours to travellers aint it?

Can we leave MGA to his fantasies for a week or two, send him to coventry,(sorry wingnut) for a while till he has something else world shattering to report.

In reply to sutty:

I think the boy's hilarious. Let him spout forth, I say.
It's more amusing than constant boring ethical debates.

In reply to Stac Pollaidh:

That sounds just like where my pals went in about ...eerrrr.. februaury 94, and probably lots of other folk who mess up their route finding, most call it 'getting lost' not 'a new route' though. I think we've done thise before though...

In reply to TobyA: last year we did astral highway and while not a new route i think we climbed a significant variation-
we climbed orion to the basin
then- and this is the new bit- we went straight up the big snow patch- all the footsteps went left...
then we did astral highway

id like to call the new variation -inflated ego- and grade it XXIII 2

In reply to Mountain God Andrew:
90 seconds to descend the an stac scree?

In reply to sutty:

we are having a seal that can balance a ball on its nose. Are you good enough to challenge a seal?

You may be surprised - I can balance many things on my nose, including a chair! I also juggle with knives and fire if that helps?

In reply to Stac Pollaidh:


WHATEVER.

On second thoughts, no way, have you ever tried a deep fried Mars bar? First you love it, then you hate it, then you love it, then you think abnout it, then you throw up!

You think you're so damn good don't you, lets see you in action then mr deep fried lardy boy.

Same for all you other lardies oot there - go on, get off the goggle box and get climbing.

In reply to wee Davie:

Why thank you, I am touched, in fact so touched that I thought you may appreciate a song written from my heart:

(Sung in tune to 'summer holiday')

"Were going where the wind blows strongly, going where the ice is blue. Were going to the place called Scotland, so lets see if it's truuuuuee.. They say he's got a big heeead, and that he can't climb at all, but in his defence he is a God, so worship is duee... Were' all going to watch him, as he takes a faaalll. The ambulance crue is waiting, but just thinks he's a fooool. Were all going on a winter holiday, to join the fan club that is due for him, la la la..."

You can make up the rest!
The CD will be on sale shortly in all good record shops. All proceeds will go to the MGA Beer Fund.

Thank you again
MGA

In reply to sutty:

Aye, well we THOUGHT the Clachaig would close at 11pm but as you know it didn't which made getting up the next day to go climbing a bit difficult. MInd you it was snowing and there was a big thaw on so we weren't that bothered...

In reply to Dave Collier:
The clachaig do very nice cheese toasties or at least they did when i was last there, which wiz prob. umm over 5 years ago noo. gid pool table.. is it still there?

In reply to Stac Pollaidh:
Pool tables, covered when we moved in to protect the cloth.
sheesh it wus busy fur a winter night.

In reply to all: I would like to stand up in support for all gods - particularly those of the mountains! I am the one they call MGR and feel that this thread needed revitalising with stories of fun and froliking!

If you are interested - the two MG's will be climbing somewhere in N wales (hopefully - if MGA can get off his arse!) on saturday - actual location to be confirmed. we are planning to do this new route about 2 feet to the left of Grooved arete on tryfan - it looks like an excellent line - goes at about E3 6a?!?!?

anyway performances will be charged at a good rate!

In reply to the other mountain god:

Mr MGR, is the that route that ended up with you in the local A&E? Of course not, what was I thinking, sorry, I forgot the god like aurora that protects us.

Ok, Ok, so I'll get off my arse, not cos I want to see you or anything, but sitting down really hurts after I landed on it the other day at 34.5mph (ish) when I fell off that mountain board. IT WAS NOT A PROPER MOUNTAIN SO THE AURORA DOES NOT WORK IN SUCH INSTANCES.

If you would like to see the climbing duo though, you are more than welcome. (You did say the climb was only two food did'nt you MGR?) Will we need ropes and harnesses?

See you on Saturday - where shall we meet?

P.S. Can someone please finish off my song? (see above a few messages)

So, who's up for some climbing with the gods in North Wales at the weekend?

Ach, me ears are hurtin for all the screemin! If you can't make it though (demand is high at present), we will be able to send you a 'Mountain God Appreciation Club' T-shirt for the humble sum of £8. The Tee features full colour graphics of the Gods incredible jumps, with black text on a white/grey background.
It is a subtle Tee, but when you wear it you too will be recognised as a classic UK Climbing old timer.
Postage is included. VAT is not, (we are dodgin that)
Please email me for more details. If you want a Tee, and can make it for Saturday - there is a special offer, we are floggin them for a fiver, (Scottish, Welsh, or English money is acceptable). Please confirm size before Friday.

MGA

In reply to Mountain God Andrew:
Is it JUST me ? He is he trying to be ironic here, isn't he ???
Tosser!

In reply to Anonymous:
Oops. Didn't mean to be anonymous

In reply to GrahamB:
a) No it's not just you; me too.
b) I hope so, but he isn't.
c) Yes he is.

In reply to Mountain God Andrew: Which Aonach Eagach?

In reply to Mountain God Andrew: Well matey, I think you may need a bigger helmet soon wot with all this egotistical nonsense!! I really think you should have pushed yourself on the Aonach Eagach and aimed for 2 hours though...

Wish i could join you in wales but unfortunately have a busy weekend planned. Have fun and don't forget those cereal bars.......

Ali

To nick Smith:
PULL THIS THREAD it's doin ma heid in...
I just log on fur Cul Maw an burnsie slaggin Jamie an GFoz

In reply to Ali:

Do You know me?

In reply to everyone else:

No serious, you wanted a Tee, I would have made you a Tee. Too late noo tho.

-Bigger helmet - the Millenium dome was a good suggestion, but is not available. I have put in a bid for those domes in Cornwall - you know, the lost garden of heligan ones.

Please pull the thread, I won't keep having to come back then!

MGA (WHO IS NOT A TO**ER)

In reply to Mountain God Andrew:
was lookin at your pics - some v nice shots! got very excited by one that looked familiar but i couln't quite place. i looked at the title 'lost in the alps'. the pic is back to front! is this done on purpose?! looked like excellent snow cover for july! nice pic.
james e

In reply to Mountain God Andrew:
Yer a pain in the arse, but A never suggested ye wur a toproper! or huv A miscoonted the aserisks?

In reply to IanMcC:

Or indeed a topper!

In reply to Mountain God Andrew: maybe you do, maybe you don't!

In reply to James Edwards:

Thanks.
I don't think that one is inverted, I know somw were (they were slides) looking at it, it is from the path up to the Refuge De Albert hut looking up over the glacier. I could be wrong though.
I may get around to posting this years - I have some great photos - beats those from last year hands down.

In reply to Mountain God Andrew: Lets put it this way - i think your photos of the alps are much better then mine (with a few exceptions)!

In reply to Mountain God Andrew:
trust me it is (unless the south side has suffered 400m of extra glaciation.) from the north the courtes in on your left and the vert on the right. if you can invert the image in your p.c. photo package (most of them can do this) and resubmit it as it looks like a great photo.
james e

In reply to James Edwards:

Could invert it no probs, just takes so long to get checked before it is viewable. Tell you what, I will submit some new ones tonight.

In reply to IanMCc: aye good point mate, where is that pillar of all things ethical and serious, oh and his sidekick, the really intellectual one?

MGA is like a swiss clock, wind him up and watch the cuckoo go cuckoo

In reply to Cul Maw:

Which intelectiaol one?

In reply to Mountain God Andrew:
MGA calm doon pal I meant Jamie B and his sidekick, the really intellectual one

In reply to Cul Maw:

Oh, like Sidekick Bob?

In reply to Cul Maw:
Pity MGA cannae spell; a wis hopin fur a bite on the "or huv A miscoonted the aserisks?" line, tell him a heard he hud a load a "Tees" he couldna get rid o onywhere else.
Enuff o this keich, Am awa tae the club fur a pint.

In reply to IanMcC:

Was stilleth workin on that, but got carried away whilst 'ToePoking'!! and forgoteth all aboot it.

MGA can also spell impecebly but tis more fun to spell badley.

In reply to IanMcC: once ah get this shite finished in here im goin fer pint tae pal,
as MGA wid say,for verily I say onto thee The Halt Bar beckoneth

In reply to Cul Maw:
How long ye been gaun in there? Ma mate's faither used tae work behind the bar (but that wisnae yesurday)

In reply to Mountain God Andrew: Christ on a bike! Is this shite still going on?

In reply to CENSORED:

Eye, still a happenin!

I have just sumbitted a load of new photos to my profile - so keep checking back to see when they are on. I hope they are not too small, if not, they will be worth the wait.
MGA

In reply to CENSORED:


No, not at all, I have been told not to ride my bike for a while because I have damaged a bone in a rather unfortunate place. Takes saddle soreness to a whole new dimension!

MGA

In reply to Mountain God Andrew:

My new photos are up. Go and see for yourslef - click on my icon thing and make your way towards the gallery.

So what do you rekon?

Is that a Mountain God falling down a crevasse??

Place your bets here.

In reply to Mountain God Andrew: Er...indulge my ignorance and forgive my impudence Mountain God Andrew - I'm more of a mountain bumbly myself - but why not cross the crevasse at the easy bit in the background of the pic?

I am not worthy.

Andy

In reply to Mountain God Andrew: we love you MGA, oh we do!

In reply to PoshAndy on a different computer:

Poshy boy; let me enlighten you:

The meaning of life by MGA...
To take the most stupid route that would lead to severe pain or death if all goes wrong. On the other hand, if (by calculated risks) the route could lead to providing a big adrenaline rush and fame/respect on UK Climbing then it must be worth a go.

Thank you for your concerns about whether or not I made it out alive!

For the record, it was a long way, and as you can see I did not quite make the top, I did bash my toes, but, I did not fall down the crevasse. If I had thought I couldn't do it, believe me I wouldn't have!

Pay your respect by getting on your knees (works best in a public area), place both hands palm facing away from your body, and at about chest height. Now chant "Mountain Gods are worthy", "Mountain Gods are worthy", approximately 20 times, as you rock back and forth.
Let the gods be with you.

MGA

In reply to Andrew Brett:


OI, THAT IS MY NAME. GET OFF IMPOSTER, I SAY, GET OFF NOW.

Respect is fine, but hey, don't make it look like I respect myself. I am nothing but a humble mountain goer with special powers to leap off things big.

I KNOW WHO YOU ARE.

In reply to Mountain God Andrew: And a month, or so, later, it's still trundling along.

Now what was it yer were saying MGA.....oh yeah, the AE. Is that in the Lakes?

In reply to sutty:

unfortunately it disnae appear to be workin'...

In reply to Stac Pollaidh: Stac, lad. D'yer think the God boy's losing it a bit? Ah reckon he is, chatting away to himself.

What d'you reckon to those dates I mentioned? Any good?

In reply to WCDave:
ah think Andrew needs all the help an' support we can offer 'im, Dave.. he's clearly not of sound mind at all, no aye, no, know?

Can i get back tae ye aboot said trip? think they should be just fine tho'..

In reply to Mountain God Andrew:

I'm planning a < secret > attempt on Ben Lui's central gully this winter. Are you interested in joining me?
< schtum ? >

I plan to tackle the very leftmost edge of the gully (ye, know, right where they rocks stick oot annat?) ALL the way up. This must be a first, eh?

< schtum, right ? >

We'll be the pioneers of these Leftissimo new routes, you and me kid, eh? As the cracking new lines of Scotland are now drying up, Leftissimo will be the way forward.

In reply to Mountain God Andrew: It could be another Andy Brett, I certainly know another one

In reply to MattG: je suis rekweeray help from a psychiatrist

Where is Andrew Brett anyway?

In reply to Mullach Nan Neeps:

Here!

Hey, just thought I would get my thread back up to the top! New thread; Record breaking time that a thread by MGA has stayed online!!

In reply to Mountain God Andrew: FFS, just knock it on the head you soft tw*t!!

In reply to Mountain God Andrew: Wow, 36 days, an' still going.

Och, I dunno, MGA, I reckon you've got the longest running thread ever. Keep it up Topcat.

In reply to WCDave:

Thanks - I am pretty proud myself.
I wonder if I can keep it going for a whole year??

In reply to Mountain God Andrew:

Has everyone abandoned me??
MGA

In reply to Mountain God Andrew:

Still working on that year thing!

In reply to Mountain God Andrew Brett: OH we love you Andwew Bwett!!

The Andwew Bwett Gwoupies

In reply to Andrew Bretts a Tw*t:

thought I would keep this thread going, since its so interesting

In reply to Mountain God Andrew: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!

I thought that this had died and gone away!!

In reply to Anonymous:
i thought i'd died and gone to heaven..
but MGA's no' a real god
i can see that now.

In reply to Mountain God Andrew:

Did it in 1986 from Pipers lay bye to Glencoe hotel for a beer in 2:25mins. Plastered in neve and a romp. Far quicker than running it in summer when it took 2:40

Seems that 50% of folk want to finish it using the rescue team as guide service these days.

In reply to Davy Gunn:

Not wrong there - I rescued a group of three from up there a couple of years back. Idiots left the injured person on his own while they tried to get help. Worse than that though is the fact that I had offered to help them about 45 minutes earlier and they refused, saying they knew what they were doing!
Injured sole was airlifted in the end and I showed the others the quickest way down.

Threads still going then!

In reply to Mountain God Andrew: This must be the longest running thread ever! In answer to the original question from about a month ago, it took me about 8 hours under powder last new year

In reply to MattG:


However did you traverse the ridge under the powder?
I assume you have a good shovel? :@)

In reply to Mountain God Andrew: And like a bad case of the shits, this one rumbles on and on. And on. And on....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

In reply to Mountain God Andrew:

You all don't know wot u talkin about.........

A few years ago I did the AE fleeing from the Campbells in little over an hour.......I had no choice as I was fleein for my life, also had to coax the rest of my clan over the chancellor in the teeth of a raging storm an many of us were sufferin from wounds from the battle.

Now quit your rhetoric an go an do something less boring instead (apologies 2 why dont you !)

In reply to Allan McDonald:

Ah, the Thread that refuses to die!

In reply to Horse: yep, that's right

In reply to MattG: micht as well keep it goin

In reply to Allan McDonald:

Mr McDonald, we meet again, for it was a battle of will nae just a battle of stamina to escape the ferocios clasp of the Campbells who were chasing you that lonesome day.
I myself was there, however, I was observing from the topeth of thy hill that we call Meall Mor, behind the rock that looks liketh a standing stone when up close, approximately 3/4 of the way up above the sheep fank.
I saw the attrocities that occurred to your wife and children, and my heart bleeds for you. I am sorry that I was unable to help, but by the time I realised the severity of your troubles, myself and my clan of the Gods would have taken far too long to have been of any assistance.
Fight back with all your might and glory, and hold your land forever more.
Remember - if you are ever in trouble, who you gonna call?
Clan Mountain God.

In reply to Mountain God Andrew: Get tae ........

In reply to Mountain God Andrew: When d'yer reckon Alan etc are gonna notice that this thread has to have been the most pointless thread ever on RT. And zap it.

In reply to WCDave: Aye, it's a waste of frickin' bandwidth!!

In reply to CENSORED:

But it does keep the shite in one place.

In reply to Horse:Nah, this un's on a proper forum!!

In reply to CENSORED:

But if you post blah on this forum Stac gets out his yellow card and tells ya to post it on this thread.

In reply to Horse:Guess that'll be why this one will run & run!!

In reply to CENSORED:

Unfortunately so, everytime it pops back up you just have to look and then type something.

In reply to Horse: Yes, but I won't type anything like I have on the sweary mary thread, as it wouldn't be appropriate for a serious forum like this one, despite this particular thread being a bag of utterc*ckche*sew*nkysp*nkf*rting*n*lf*lchingsaggyscr*tummed*rse!!

In reply to Mountain God Andrew: Och, I'll join you boys on this one. Don't you think it's the best thread ever though. 190 odd posts of nothing but insults, and personal chat. and it's into its third month now.

In reply to WCDave:

Do not, repeat Do not, tell JCT about it. Its gentle bubbling under will become a boiling forment of sexuality and it'll be 500 posts by lunchtime.

In reply to WCDave: I'm ignoring you in the hope that this pish will die a natural death......



ARSE!! I've done it again!!

In reply to CENSORED: Nah, it's just got some irresistable force which compels someone, once a week, to move it back on up there. It's our turn this week...

And that's another thing Horse. This must be the only 150+thread which JCT hasn't been invoved in.

In reply to WCDave: Why did she contribute to the Ken Wilson Bolting thread?*






* Please note the turn of phrase, I didn't ask if she made a valid contribution, as I assume that any contribution would have been about how many times Brian boned her on a sport route, or how great his spunk tastes!!

In reply to WCDave:

should I have a word? No doubt she would raise the god to God status.

BREAKING NEWS- Winter legend Allain Mullet makes super fast first winter traverse of Aonach Eagach ridge,this weekend.
Partnered by Stephan Gadget unknown on the circuit, they made good progress, with deep snow making the pinnacles awkward and exausting. Arch rival Himalayan guru Alun Stinks, (who turned back at the pinnacles in high winds on a previous attempt) congratulated them on their return.
Tea total Allain was in joyous mood after the grueling traverse, celebrating with adoring fans back in the safety of the Clachaig inn.

In reply to Gash.Media.Corp:

More breaking news:
There is talk of further openings in the Mountain God Clan. Brought about by high demand and low prices. If you are interested in becoming a God yourself, please apply to this thread. Promotion is usually fast, requiring knowledge and experience of climbing. You will start off as a Trainee Mountain God, and after proving yourself to the Gods that be, you may end up promoted to Mountain God ststus yourself. A free T awaits all new MG's

Trainee Mountain God William, has been promoted to Mountain God William as of 01 November this year. Congratulations MGW.

Please join us in a toast this winter in the Clachaig.

MGA

In reply to Mountain God Andrew: Isn't there an Aspirant Mountain God phase during this progression??

Also MGA & MGW, is there a trainee called Billy, cos he can be MGB and a really short Mountain God could be MG Midget.....

Perhaps we could also introduce codes for Top Ropers, can I be TR6 (average size of my groups), much better than that rustbucket known as TR7....

In reply to CENSORED:

I think you may be on to something. We could ultimately have no limits to the fraternity of Gods, however, there may be social unrest and unhappiness if this were so, this could also lead to pickett lines and Mountain God strikes. And we would not want that now would we?

One day I hope that all gods are equal, but you have to realise that there is no possible way any God System (TM) could ever afford to merit each God on the same scale. It would have to be done by merit and ability.

As for the subject that this thread was ultimately aimed at:
I am thinking that the Aonach Eagach could be done quicker still. I have a plan. It involves a sledge to get to the Clachaig quicker at one end, and one of those funky personal jet packs to get you up there in the first place. I cannot see that this would be cheating because we are after all only talking about a traverse of the Aonach Eagach, and this, unless I am mistaken, does not actually include the way up or down. Or does it??

In reply to Mountain God Andrew:

This has to be a record, or at least a very strong contender, for the longest running thread?

In reply to DazMan:

Just want to make it one more post closer to 200........

In reply to colski:

197.....nearly there.......

In reply to colski:

198..... not long now....

In reply to colski:
199... sooooooo close.....

In reply to colski:

hurray!!!

In reply to colski: Kill this thread!

In reply to Glen:

Thats not very nice.

What is the best time of year (historically) to get the best snow in Glencoe?? I rekon February, what do you think?
MGA

In reply to Mountain God Andrew:
can i remind you Andrew that there are rules to be adhered
to when postin'..

Try to stay on a topic, and don't turn (for example) a
light-hearted thread into a serious discussion..

Rule no.5 i think
sp

In reply to Stac Pollaidh:

You seam to know your stuff Mr Pollaidh!

But do you or anyone know what the longest running thread has been? And whether it stayed on topic, or not?

In reply to Mountain God Andrew: good tae see this is toap of the pile again

In reply to Cul Maw:

so when is 'How to be a Mountain God(dess)' coming to our screens? Will we be entertained with sultry shots of the MGs demonstrating ice screw placements, voiced over with the occasional 'mmm, yummy'?
Can't wait.........

In reply to KateR:

It can't be long now. It's been available on Amazon for the past 3 weeks. I've ordered lots of copies as Christmas presents for my friends. I still say that £19.99 is a bit steep for 25 pages though.

Has anybody thought about a traverse of the Aonach Eagach on mountain bike. Only I'm supposed to be doing this on Saturday and I'm wondering what difficulties I'll encounter.

In reply to Andy K Appreciation Society: myself and geoffrey had a very invigorating day traversing the ridge on pogo sticks last march, unfortunately geoffrey dropped his marmalade snadwiches and found the jarring on the rocky bits very displeasing to his posterior regions. It nearly popped his piles, poor blighter!

In reply to Andy K Appreciation Society: quite easy on stilts - just step over the tricky bits!

In reply to Mountain God Andrew: I did 3 sisters in 30 minutes once, best to start with the oldest!

In reply to Mountain God Andrew: how quick can you draw a detailed map of tower ridge?

In reply to thawed:


I rekon about three weeks, with lots of amendmends!
MGA

In reply to Big Dave:

Now if it was the Corrs, that would be impressive...

In reply to CENSORED:
guess it's ma turn.....

In reply to Mountain God Andrew: WELL I have just spent the last half hours reading 214 replies You do know that some where in this lot there's a book. Just thought I would let you Know! still I have done it a couple of years back on the most perfect day you could see for miles around so I took my time 4 hours

In reply to Ash:
this thread should go round the U bend..

In reply to Mountain God Andrew: I done it in 2 hrs 45 mins wearing nothing but my thong for warmth being chased by a rampant chimpanzee.......... nah i aint done it yet but will be in Jan 2003 probably (huhum)

In reply to Mountain God Andrew: My turn.

In reply to wcdave:

Can I have a go?

Ug























ug ug

In reply to Jack Frost:

In reply to Stac Pollaidh:

Stop turning my threads into rubbish!

In reply to Mountain God Andrew:
Oink.

In reply to Thread:

Back like a long lost friend, or is that a bad penny.......

In reply to Daniel Duerden: It was, I think, Jo's which ice axe's question, but I could be wrong. But to answer original question I think an RAF trainer jet did it i 3.2774 seconds and the pilot didn't appreciate the view either, as he was looking at his N.O.E radar map at the time.

In reply to Mountain God Andrew:

Christ, it's like a long lost friend!

In reply to Mountain God Andrew: You Beauty!!

In reply to Mountain God Andrew:
I often done the traverse with the Royal Marines in around 2hr40m carrying full bergan (100lb) webbing (40lb) and rifle. And wearing shitty combat boots. So stick that in your pipe and smoke it

In reply to Georgy:

carrying full bergan (100lb)

thats a lot of soup and malt loaf......

In reply to GFoz: yay, the mighty thread returns

In reply to Mountain God Andrew: Hey MGA, you've been a wee bit quiet lately. Any good new routes for us this year yet?

In reply to wcdave: just wondering if that was MGA's new route in the new smc nevis giude, page 104, 'Going round the bend'....? check first ascents page 335...

In reply to rc:

6 months and still limping along. Is this the worlds slowest traverse?

In reply to TobyT:

I can't believe I've rooted through four pages of old threads to dig this one up again. And replying to myself, particularly sad.

In reply to rc:

If you must know, you are correct. So are you going to make it a second ascent?

(Good to see my thread still receiving feedback)

In reply to Stac Pollaidh:

What language are you writing in ... its incomprehesible not gaelic is it ???

In reply to Anonymous:

Anyone remember my thread on RT turning into a more shite postings!!!

And I got slated!

When is this thread going to die?

In reply to Peter K: Well, it had been dead for 6 days until you performed CPR!!

In reply to Mountain God Andrew: I can't belive this has been going for more than 6 months now! Reckon it can make a year?

In reply to Glen: yeah

In reply to Mountain God Andrew:
I have been reading through this thread since it first appeared. However, I have never read such rubbish in all my life. If you were all the great climbers you claim to be you would be out there cranking like me and not wasting your time on this crap.
If you think you are all so clever why don't you drop round to my house in Ardrossan and listen to some of my well-known sauve and sophisticated patter. Then you might begin to climb and talk as hard as I do.
Alan Finch

In reply to Alan Finch:

Sorry chaps and chapesses, I have been busy climbing recently. Just returned from the Himalayas where we eat Bonnie our yak after she carried all our gear!

That did'nt actually happen, but nonetheless, glad to see you all providing positive feedback as usual.

So where did winter go?

In reply to Mountain God Andrew:
Listen, I have been out there cranking it so hard, I have a hareem of lovely girls swooning over my muscular body. If you keep eating all that Yak, you will find it very fattening and your girlfriend(s) will leave you and shack up with me.
Alan

In reply to Alan Finch:

But yak meat is good for you, and gives you hairs on your chest - just where your girlfriend said she liked it best.
I have loads of girlfriends anyway - they are all white and wooley, and live in the mountains, so beat that!

Anyway, just come back from the mountains, where I have also been working on my muscular toning over the last few days (not that I need it of course as I use special god-powers, not muscles).

MGA

In reply to Mountain God Andrew:
You might be a self-appointed God, but compared to me you are just filth. I am unbelievably attractive to the opposite sex. And there is nothing your super-natural powers can do about that.
Remember, I am at the top of the tree when it comes to climbing and pulling burds nothing matches Finchy Boy.

love & oily kisses
Alan Finch

In reply to Mountain God Andrew:

4 hrs east-west over the ridge to the last top then retraced our steps along the ridge to the car.

In reply to tp:

Holy shit, how did you manage to get your car onto the ridge?

In reply to Mountain God Andrew:

I did it in 7 hours last year with a friend, from the car park to the top of the Clac. ridge.

In reply to colski:

I reckon with a suitable run up, say from the top of Anoch Dubh, you might just be able to lodge it between the pinnacles.

In reply to The Thread:

Welcome back old freind, where have you been hiding?

In reply to Horse:
Looks like that 250+ postings is under threat thanks to the VFDT! 173+ postings and still not anywhere near dead!
Davie

In reply to Davie:

No chance - this post will never die

In reply to Mountain God Andrew: Just broke my arse laughing at this thread. I seem to remember MGA setting up ridiculous topics on other sites.

This deserves a free bump to keep it current

In reply to Hum: Noooooooooooooooooooo!

In reply to michaelw:

But that's on errr...Skye. Lets try and stick to the topic on this one eh(impressive time though)

In reply to Mountain God Andrew: This post has been running for too long and what the f*ck does it have to do with Scottish winter climbing anyway?

In reply to Alan Finch:

Burds?
Here, pass us that ten spot.
Cheers fanny baws.
(sniiiiiiiiiifff)
Oh... ya phuqah, ye....
- that's fcukin' gid gear.

In reply to Mountain Gimp Andrew:

Err, well, if you climb it in winter, then it has quite a lot to do with winter climbing.

Helloooo everybody, look a year this month. Do I get a prize?

In reply to Jack Frost:


Too Right - this is a great thread. I wonder what the fastest time is that anyone has read the whole thread in?

In reply to Mountain God Andrew:

Bump - Well, this thread hasn't seen the light of October 2003.
Me and Nanny can do it 1 hour 11 mins. If we don't stop to chew the cud. We have to watch out for trolls under the bridge though.

In reply to MountainGoatBilly:

Which bridge would that be then?

In reply to Jack Frost:

Ooh, look it's still here!

Yea, what bridge exactly Mr Frost?

In reply to Mountain God Andrew: I AM BACK hahahahahaha I traversed the aonaoch eagach in 97 years, I am a moss

In reply to MattG:

What type of moss exactly, sphagnum by any chance?

In reply to Mountain God Andrew: i once did the traverse

In reply to MattG: Have you ever slept with Mick Jagger?

In reply to CENSORED: hasnt everybody

In reply to Mountain God Andrew:

i read the whole thread in 7 years, had tto have a kip on the way tho and some more botox. lets not bump it anymore gang prefer andys cousin steve webb

In reply to Mountain God Andrew: Heeeeeeeellllllllooooooooo MGA!!!!!!!!!