Ok last night I arrived at Sydney opera house W-A-A-A-A-A-Y too early for the Dead Can Dance gig I was up there to see. So I was amusing myself by walking laps of the place as;
a) I'd been driving for 3 1/2 hours, and had a 3 1/2 hour drive home to look forward to.
b) I couldn't drink, due to the above.
c) I'm an idiot.
On one lap I saw a people carrier* being let through the back loading area security gate. "Ooh, looks interesting!" So I walked over to the stage door. Who gets out of it, amongst her entourage**, but Lisa Gerrard herself!!! The Princess of Post rock, the goddess of goth, the diva of dream-pop!
Of course, being me, this was too good an opportunity to turn down! In my cool calm and collected manner I asked; "Ere Lisa, ok for me to grab a photo graph with you love?" It may have actually come out more like 'AAawww, heh...oooh...hellllloo...erm..., blubber, ....simper... whine.... whimper..... can I lick your boots for you Lisa," but she got my drift.
So I gave my phone to the guy with her, I assumed an acolyte or roadie, it turns out he was her percussionist,*** and was on stage with the band later.****
So she consents, and he faffs about so I go over and show him how to do it, and SHE TOLD ME OFF!! "You really should be more prepared you know. " which gave me a slightly erotic thrill. I had the audacity to reply, "Ha! Chance would be a fine thing!" (Oscar Wilde eat your heart out!!)
So we posed again, I had MY HAND AROUND HER WAIST!! On stage you'd swear she's 17 foot tall, but she's really tiny, huge chest though.
I thanked her effusively, and left her go.
Walking away on cloud nine, I had to go and grab a beer. I sat there hands trembling, opened up my phone to find.....No f*ck*ng picture!!The silly f*ck hadn't done it right!! I wept for a good half hour.
Still I'd met her, and touched her, and spoken with her. She is as ethereally beautiful and cultured as she projects, though she is not hot, and the gig was absolutely brilliant. She sang the song "Sanvean" which was played as the "wedding march" at our wedding!
Next time I'm in Sydders it's for an Arvo Part gig, I wonder if he'll show?
*It should have been a black carriage drawn by four black stallions with funeral plumes.
** Should have been a group of high elves.
** a f*cking drummer, if I'd have known that I'd not have trusted the thick f*ck!!
**** If I'd have know that I would have taken a house brick into the gig to heave at him.
