/ To be honest ! - WTF?

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Alan Bates 11 Oct 2019

I am so f***ing sick of hearing .... “To Be Honest”.  

Does that mean everything else said by the person is a lie?

Post edited at 23:19
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Jus 11 Oct 2019
In reply to Alan Bates:

At the end of the day, probably. ;-)

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pasbury 11 Oct 2019
In reply to Alan Bates:

let me absolutely clear about this - piffle waffle wiffle paffle.

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Gordon Stainforth 11 Oct 2019
In reply to Alan Bates:

I remember when this first came in about 15-18 years ago, and how it really grated with me because, almost without exception, the person saying it was a very dishonest person and was saying something that was not entirely true.  It's now become a more or less meaningless trope. But still a really irritating redundancy. 

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Andy Hardy 11 Oct 2019
In reply to Alan Bates:

I'm not gonna lie, that hurts me that does.

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Blue Straggler 12 Oct 2019
In reply to Alan Bates:

There are far worse variations such as “if I’m honest” and “can I be honest with you for a moment?” (The latter really means “can I speak openly and frankly”)

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spenser 12 Oct 2019
In reply to Blue Straggler:

I sometimes see the phrase used with the intent of "you have put me in a difficult position/ asked a stupid question and I am trying to passive aggressively tell you this."

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Timmd 12 Oct 2019
In reply to Gordon Stainforth:

I've always taken it to mean that people generally lie by omission, or are tactful (two things which may overlap), but I see what you mean.

If 'going forwards' become officially recognised as meaning 'in the future' in dictionaries or whatever the relevant books are, l might go out and riot. It grates on me whenever I hear it.

Post edited at 01:27
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Ian Parsons 12 Oct 2019
In reply to Timmd:

I'm all for 'going backwards' - except I've no idea what that would actually mean.

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felt 12 Oct 2019
In reply to Gordon Stainforth:

>   It's now become a more or less meaningless trope. But still a really irritating redundancy. 

"Trope" has become pretty irritating too these days, to be fair.

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MG 12 Oct 2019
In reply to felt:

> >   It's now become a more or less meaningless trope. But still a really irritating redundancy. 

> "Trope" has become pretty irritating too these days, to be fair.

"to be fair" is excruciating! 

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Rick51 12 Oct 2019
In reply to MG:

Excruciating is painful ...

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Tobes 12 Oct 2019
In reply to Alan Bates:

‘I’m not being funny but’

This one did my head in when I worked in an open office and had to endure the often offensive spraying of a co-worker 

this can be grouped together with the ‘I’m not being racist, sexist, offensive etc’ which they are of course! 

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Hat Dude 12 Oct 2019
In reply to Alan Bates:

I hate "At this moment in time".

I guess that technically it's correct but in the context it's used, the "in time" is superfluous and smacks of pomposity.

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yorkshire_lad2 12 Oct 2019
In reply to Alan Bates:

Can I offer another to the list of pet hates: adding "So" to the beginning of every answer whether it's relevant or not.

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plyometrics 12 Oct 2019
In reply to Alan Bates:

Literally?

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Bob Kemp 12 Oct 2019
In reply to plyometrics:

'Literally' is an interesting one in that it started being used as an intensifier several centuries ago. What seems to have happened is that the intensifier aspect has become more important than the 'literal' meaning. Language evolves...

Good discussion of this here:

https://www.theguardian.com/politics/reality-check-with-polly-curtis/2012/mar/12/reality-check-literally-wrong-use-word

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Bob Kemp 12 Oct 2019
In reply to Alan Bates:

As we seem to be collecting these misuses, one that I find intensely irritating is 'some would say' and its variations, which seems to be used as a way for people to spread innuendo and falsity whilst detaching themselves for responsibility for it. Heavily used by Trump of course.

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oldie 12 Oct 2019
In reply to Alan Bates:

"I must say" (why must I?...can usually be omitted without detracting from sentence) that I use TBH (had to Google many of these acronyms when I started contributing to this forum) to indicate that my reply may be biased due to self interest or that the other post does have some validity.

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birks3746 12 Oct 2019
In reply to Alan Bates:

I've always thought its a British-ism that when speaking to Brits it's simply used to emphasise a point - not that everything you've said previously is a lie.

However I was told that when Brits use the phrase when speaking to European's they take it very literally as everything you've said previously is a lie. 

So long story short, I've tried to stop using the phrase.

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Gordon Stainforth 12 Oct 2019
In reply to Hat Dude:

> I hate "At this moment in time".

> I guess that technically it's correct but in the context it's used, the "in time" is superfluous and smacks of pomposity.

Its biggest failing is that it uses 5 words, 6 syllables and 18 letters when a simple single-syllable, 3-letter word will do.

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TobyA 12 Oct 2019
In reply to Tobes:

> ‘I’m not being funny but’

This currently seems to be the standard way to start any sentence for a large proportion of the sixth formers I teach. With one particular student who is particularly afflicted by this verbal tick I've taken to greeting this expression with a, hopefully, obviously sarcastic "shocked" face and saying something along the lines of "you're not!? Because it seemed so funny!" I'm sure they'll get the message sooner or later.

Post edited at 13:46
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john arran 12 Oct 2019
In reply to TobyA:

I remember some years ago being picked up for prefacing a sentence with "The thing is...", during that particular verbal affliction's time in the limelight, which made me realise I'd unwittingly developed an unfortunate habit.

I don't believe I've ever used it again since. Stay vigilant, people!

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Martin Hore 12 Oct 2019
In reply to yorkshire_lad2:

> Can I offer another to the list of pet hates: adding "So" to the beginning of every answer whether it's relevant or not.


I've only noticed this in the last few years. Now it seems ubiquitous. Prior to that "Well" performed pretty much the same function. I've no doubt that when "Well" started to be in this way used people thought it odd too.

Martin

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TobyA 12 Oct 2019
In reply to john arran:

In my old job I was interviewed reasonably regularly by journalists. The first time (and indeed most subsequent times!) you watch yourself on TV is horrific - no matter how many people said "I saw you on the news, that was really interesting" all I could hear was me seemingly putting "errrrrrr" or "y'know" between every second and third word. Uggghhh. You consciously try to stop doing it after you've seen it happen, but then you end up losing track of the actual point you are trying to make! Being interviewed by a paper is much better, the journalists always seem to edit in your mumblings into a series of nice, pithy quotes!

Post edited at 14:05
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felt 12 Oct 2019
In reply to Alan Bates:

Obviously, we've obviously missed out obviously, obviously.

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Tobes 12 Oct 2019
In reply to TobyA:

Forgivable at that age perhaps - but when someone in their mid twenties with a university education (pointless to mention I know but) says it....arrghhh 

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Gordon Stainforth 12 Oct 2019
In reply to Martin Hore:

I think you're forgetting that many/most people when they reply to an internet discussion are being conversational. The way we speak is not exactly the same as the way we write.

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Denni 12 Oct 2019
In reply to Alan Bates:

'So,what I'm hearing is..."

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Andy Clarke 12 Oct 2019
In reply to felt:

> Obviously, we've obviously missed out obviously, obviously.

Obvs. 

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Gordon Stainforth 12 Oct 2019
In reply to Andy Clarke:

For gs, all these things are absolutely fine for chatting on the internet.

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Andy Clarke 12 Oct 2019
In reply to Alan Bates:

I must confess I used to quite enjoy eavesdropping on my Sixth Formers recounting a long conversation without once having recourse to the word "said" 

And I'm like, Omg! .. And she's like, Hello!... And I'm like, No! 

Post edited at 16:33
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jess13 12 Oct 2019
In reply to Alan Bates:

Honesty sometimes is not always what it is cracked up to be. If we were all brutally honest with each other there would be a lot of bloody noses, broken relationships and friendships. As an example any man in a relationship with a woman when asked that perennial question-  'does my bum look in this?' knows that the honest answer could lead to a multitude of problems so sometimes we have to lie just to keep the peace.

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mutt 12 Oct 2019
In reply to Alan Bates:

'Really' ......

of course I mean really - I wouldn't have wasted my breath telling you if it wasn't real!

bloody irritating lazy response to almost everything.

Or maybe its just me!

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Blue Straggler 12 Oct 2019
In reply to mutt:

Do you think so? 

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John Stainforth 13 Oct 2019
In reply to jess13:

Unfortunately, only a small proportion of lies are benevolent "white lies" of the kind you cite; most are not.

ps. If only Trump's and Boris' were telling white lies in order not to hurt our feelings!

Post edited at 00:40
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Lusk 13 Oct 2019
In reply to Andy Clarke:

> Obvs. 


That's my favourite, use it on the kids regularly, usually followed by innit.

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Timmd 13 Oct 2019
In reply to TobyA:

> This currently seems to be the standard way to start any sentence for a large proportion of the sixth formers I teach. With one particular student who is particularly afflicted by this verbal tick I've taken to greeting this expression with a, hopefully, obviously sarcastic "shocked" face and saying something along the lines of "you're not!? Because it seemed so funny!" I'm sure they'll get the message sooner or later.

Or they might just think you're a twit*?  

* From memory of teenage hood. 

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Epic Ebdon 10:02 Sun
In reply to Alan Bates:

What about 'reach out to' - why can't you just contact someone? 

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Bob Kemp 12:07 Sun
In reply to Timmd:

They will anyway - from memory of teenage hood!

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TobyA 13:50 Sun
In reply to Bob Kemp:

Nah mate, I'm, like, totally, down with the kidz innit. They think I'm bare good bruv.

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Timmd 15:32 Sun
In reply to TobyA:

I remember some teachers being seen as cool - or cool enough, but they were 'the characters', like a teacher who'd just spent ten minutes telling off a class when a younger pupil walked in, and after asking for and having whatever it was sorted out, they lingered for a moment until the teacher shouted ''Raaaaah!'' at him, and 'verbally chased' him out of the classroom. 

Poor pupil. 

Post edited at 15:34
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Andy Clarke 17:16 Sun
In reply to TobyA:

> Nah mate, I'm, like, totally, down with the kidz innit. They think I'm bare good bruv.

Greatest compliment I ever got paid as a teacher was when I was delivering my General Studies cultural analysis module, A Short History of Rock & Rap, to the Lower Sixth. A suitably embarrassed young lad sidled up at the end of the lesson to say, "Sir, I thought General Studies was gonna be pants, but that was alright." I retired shortly after, knowing I'd never top that.

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overdrawnboy 18:11 Sun
In reply to Alan Bates:

"Roll out" totally annoying pomposity unless it's a new aircraft. 

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