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Im lucky enough that my girlfriend has no problem with me being away two weekends out of every month to go climbing. Just wondering what other peoples experiences have been with non climber partners? Have you ever had to choose between the two? Have you ever had to lie in order to get away for a sneaky session at the crag?
On reflection i should gave got involved with a girl that was obsessed with climbing but i have kinda got attached to this one now bless her ( even if we do row about moving to the lakes at least once a week, currently in london)
On reflection i should gave got involved with a girl that was obsessed with climbing but i have kinda got attached to this one now bless her ( even if we do row about moving to the lakes at least once a week, currently in london)
In reply to gcandlin:
i go away either shooting or climbing most weekends and it has stretched our relationship past breaking point, but she never wants to come with me to do the things i love doing but i am unwilling to sit on the PC for hour after hour playing on facebook.
its true, there really is no pleasing some women
i go away either shooting or climbing most weekends and it has stretched our relationship past breaking point, but she never wants to come with me to do the things i love doing but i am unwilling to sit on the PC for hour after hour playing on facebook.
its true, there really is no pleasing some women
In reply to gcandlin:
Missed last Christmas and New Year with my GF as I was on Aconcagua (only just made it for her birthday too!). Buggering off for 31 days in July/August to climb Muztagh Ata next year. She'll get over it
Missed last Christmas and New Year with my GF as I was on Aconcagua (only just made it for her birthday too!). Buggering off for 31 days in July/August to climb Muztagh Ata next year. She'll get over it
In reply to Axel Smeets:
thats the spirit! i mean really.... whats more important, a relationship or climbing.
and where is the argument between lakes and london? looking at the fells from my window, i know where id rather be!
thats the spirit! i mean really.... whats more important, a relationship or climbing.
and where is the argument between lakes and london? looking at the fells from my window, i know where id rather be!
In reply to gcandlin:
It's torn some of my relationships apart in the past, but I don't hold with the getting a girl who's obsessed with climbing. Climbing has been referred to as "my other woman". Relationships are hard enough without the added hassel of going away climbing all the time, so I think you should keep hold of any partner who lets you do this.
It's torn some of my relationships apart in the past, but I don't hold with the getting a girl who's obsessed with climbing. Climbing has been referred to as "my other woman". Relationships are hard enough without the added hassel of going away climbing all the time, so I think you should keep hold of any partner who lets you do this.
In reply to gcandlin:
Im like you - always meant to get a climbing girlfriend, then didnt and have become a bit attached!
The first year or so it was a bit difficult and I only got out for a day every fortnight or so, which I found hard. Forthe last year or so weve come to an arrangement where I go climbing for a day every weekend, and she will organise to go and do something herself. If she has anythign she wants to go away for aweekend for that doesnt require me eg visiting relatives or friends, I'll go for a weekend climbing. This works well for me. Id never go for a whole weekend away if she had nothign to do though.
The biggest problem is the inability to spend 3 weeks in the alps each year
Im like you - always meant to get a climbing girlfriend, then didnt and have become a bit attached!
The first year or so it was a bit difficult and I only got out for a day every fortnight or so, which I found hard. Forthe last year or so weve come to an arrangement where I go climbing for a day every weekend, and she will organise to go and do something herself. If she has anythign she wants to go away for aweekend for that doesnt require me eg visiting relatives or friends, I'll go for a weekend climbing. This works well for me. Id never go for a whole weekend away if she had nothign to do though.
The biggest problem is the inability to spend 3 weeks in the alps each year
In reply to gcandlin: My girlfriend was a non climber when we met. She realised that if she was going to see much of me she better climb too. She did and we married. So it works both ways, wife and belay bunny.
In reply to gcandlin:
I'd been married for the best part of ten years and had two kids when I took up climbing.
I'm now away climbing on average two weekends every month to six weeks. My Mrs has got her own interests and friends as have the kids. I spend time with the kids when I'm home so my Mrs gets out to do her thing and we enjoy our time together as a family. The key for us is having our own interests and friends but making the most of our time together when we are together.
My Mrs would up sticks and move up to the Lakes or the Peak at the drop of a hat but she's from Lancashire anyway and has family up there. We probably will do in a few years time but I want to keep things stable down here until the kids leave school.
I'd been married for the best part of ten years and had two kids when I took up climbing.
I'm now away climbing on average two weekends every month to six weeks. My Mrs has got her own interests and friends as have the kids. I spend time with the kids when I'm home so my Mrs gets out to do her thing and we enjoy our time together as a family. The key for us is having our own interests and friends but making the most of our time together when we are together.
My Mrs would up sticks and move up to the Lakes or the Peak at the drop of a hat but she's from Lancashire anyway and has family up there. We probably will do in a few years time but I want to keep things stable down here until the kids leave school.
In reply to gcandlin:
I 'moved on' from one that didn't climb and found one that did Easy, problem solved.
I 'moved on' from one that didn't climb and found one that did Easy, problem solved.
In reply to gcandlin: Never had this problem, only took up climbing a few year back when I was single and met Mr Zyg at the climbing wall we go to... well he stalked me but still it was quite sweet. Having said that I'd never climbed out doors till he took me and it's only because he has the patience of a saint that he kept taking me..... I would get scared a lot.
In reply to gcandlin: In my experience, climbing gfs are not necessarily the answer unless you are both on the same climbing wavelength. At the end of the day, it is about compromise. What do you want? To go climbing all the time or to have a girlfriend? If you want both, then there is no way you can be totally committed to only one.
In reply to gcandlin: I have good man who want's me to be happy and I'm happy to expoit that. I missed my wedding anniversary this year as I was in the Alps. He also has to take time off to look after our daughter when I'm away.
It's hard to keep the balance as they often feel rejected. We have an agreement of one weekend a month, and one week in the summer and one in the winter for climbing related time away, but it still narks him.
Ah well. Hoping for a place on South Pole Trek, that's gonna cause trouble as it's over christmas and for alot more than one week! Oops... I can't seem to feel bad enough not to go...
It's hard to keep the balance as they often feel rejected. We have an agreement of one weekend a month, and one week in the summer and one in the winter for climbing related time away, but it still narks him.
Ah well. Hoping for a place on South Pole Trek, that's gonna cause trouble as it's over christmas and for alot more than one week! Oops... I can't seem to feel bad enough not to go...
In reply to gcandlin:
My Wife is Ace - we did move up north after living in London because It was driving me mad......plah ! horrible place!
and she actually tells me to go climbing, running etc..
So long as I do one day of the weekend looking after the little one so she can do her thing then we are good. (weekends away available with notice)
She even felt sorry for me that I couldn’t get out last Sunday because of a groin injury ..and it was our anniversary.
She does however pull the old “well me or mountains ..who do you love more?” out of the hat at social occasions..
judge is still out on that one
My Wife is Ace - we did move up north after living in London because It was driving me mad......plah ! horrible place!
and she actually tells me to go climbing, running etc..
So long as I do one day of the weekend looking after the little one so she can do her thing then we are good. (weekends away available with notice)
She even felt sorry for me that I couldn’t get out last Sunday because of a groin injury ..and it was our anniversary.
She does however pull the old “well me or mountains ..who do you love more?” out of the hat at social occasions..
judge is still out on that one
In reply to Reg29: Strap on?
In reply to gcandlin:
I'm lucky I have a very understanding husband. In summer I'm away every other weekend climbing when I am at home I go out for the day climbing or walking in winter I'm home more but still go walking every weekend. I've just got back from a trip to France climbing. I keep asking him if he's ok with this and he is. He's not interested in the outdoors at all but doesn't want to stop me. It seems to work. I think it's easy for me as we just have 2 cats no children to worry about.
I'm lucky I have a very understanding husband. In summer I'm away every other weekend climbing when I am at home I go out for the day climbing or walking in winter I'm home more but still go walking every weekend. I've just got back from a trip to France climbing. I keep asking him if he's ok with this and he is. He's not interested in the outdoors at all but doesn't want to stop me. It seems to work. I think it's easy for me as we just have 2 cats no children to worry about.
In reply to gcandlin: Well, I'm allowed out when I want to go climbing as long as I don't go away more than 2 weekends in a row. Living in Sheffield is good coz I can get out 1 day at the weekend easily. She encourages me to go climbing though she doesn't climb, but she does like hillwalking so we can do that together.
4 weekends in a row last winter go me in trouble though, but the nick was good!
4 weekends in a row last winter go me in trouble though, but the nick was good!
In reply to gcandlin: i have left 2 perfectly acceptable women in the last 12 months as i have become more obsessed with this sport...
BMC..........Broken Marriage Club
BMC..........Broken Marriage Club
In reply to gcandlin:
currently single partly due to this very problem - though not just climbing related but kitesurfing, surfing etc too.
currently single partly due to this very problem - though not just climbing related but kitesurfing, surfing etc too.
In reply to gcandlin: I'm allowed out every night of the week during summer because my wife knows that I'm unbearable if I don't get my dose of the outdoors. She doesn't climb, unfortunately, but she'll hold my rope (as long as I've asked all my climbing buddies first). At the risk of causing widespread puking noises, she's brilliant and I love her!
BTW don't climbing couples fall out a lot whilst climbing? I've witnessed some cracking arguments (or silences) at the crag.
BTW don't climbing couples fall out a lot whilst climbing? I've witnessed some cracking arguments (or silences) at the crag.
In reply to gcandlin: Sometimes I find it hard to juggle family and climbing but I have a knew plan. my five year old daughter is freakishly talented and desires to climb all the time and my two year old son seems more than a little interested,looks like the wife will have to come after all.
In reply to gcandlin:
Hey good question! If you're addicted then you have to have a climbing boy/girlfriend if you actually want to see one another but IMHO its better if you also climb with lots of other partners in a Club - develop your own skills, otherwise someone always compromises.
I just need to find that addicted man in the Midlands now.......
Hey good question! If you're addicted then you have to have a climbing boy/girlfriend if you actually want to see one another but IMHO its better if you also climb with lots of other partners in a Club - develop your own skills, otherwise someone always compromises.
I just need to find that addicted man in the Midlands now.......
In reply to gcandlin:
Well, I'm single, but I've often thought about this. I don't think that it would be possible for me to sustain a relationship and still spend evenings, most weekends and all my holidays climbing.
Well, I'm single, but I've often thought about this. I don't think that it would be possible for me to sustain a relationship and still spend evenings, most weekends and all my holidays climbing.
In reply to gcandlin:
One of the (few) good things about being single is that you don't have to worry about the partner vs climbing issue.
Yet each man kills the thing he loves
By each let this be heard,
Some do it with a bitter look,
Some with a flattering word,
The coward does it with a kiss,
The brave man with a sword!
- Oscar Wilde, The Ballad of Reading Gaol
Perhaps for climbers this should be modified:
Yet each man's killed by what he loves
By each let this be heard
Some do it with a small skyhook
Some with a dodgy RURP
The coward gives Great Slab a miss
The brave man looks on bored!
One of the (few) good things about being single is that you don't have to worry about the partner vs climbing issue.
Yet each man kills the thing he loves
By each let this be heard,
Some do it with a bitter look,
Some with a flattering word,
The coward does it with a kiss,
The brave man with a sword!
- Oscar Wilde, The Ballad of Reading Gaol
Perhaps for climbers this should be modified:
Yet each man's killed by what he loves
By each let this be heard
Some do it with a small skyhook
Some with a dodgy RURP
The coward gives Great Slab a miss
The brave man looks on bored!
In reply to gcandlin:
The rock is always as hard as I want it to be and is always there who needs a man???
The rock is always as hard as I want it to be and is always there who needs a man???
In reply to gcandlin:
I'm single but my ex use to be a climber - thats how we met - but whenever we did climb together it was mostly carnage. He was overly protective mostly but sometimes we didnt get round to the climbing cos we were outside after all
I'm single but my ex use to be a climber - thats how we met - but whenever we did climb together it was mostly carnage. He was overly protective mostly but sometimes we didnt get round to the climbing cos we were outside after all
In reply to mcdougal:
Just to second your last point. I remember a couple shouting at each other on Tower ridge on a fantastic winter day. It is also tricky if there is a large grade difference.
Just to second your last point. I remember a couple shouting at each other on Tower ridge on a fantastic winter day. It is also tricky if there is a large grade difference.
In reply to gcandlin: i just think that respect for the other persons opinion is more important than any deed itself, as long as the other person can completely comprehend and not feel excluded theres not a problem, and if you can share it even better (unless you're competative in a relationship, but thats not me so i wouldnt know (unless its fighting games)).
Unfourtanatley i dont seem to have this problem!
In reply to Removed User:
Now that made me laugh! And Valentinesbabe, you're a very naughty girl!! Thank you both for cheering me up when I'm stuck at home full of the most severe man-flu!
maybe I'm jsut speaking for myself, but if you meet the right person, compromise isn't hard. It's when you're with the wrong person that things don't work.
> (In reply to Reg29) Strap on?
Now that made me laugh! And Valentinesbabe, you're a very naughty girl!! Thank you both for cheering me up when I'm stuck at home full of the most severe man-flu!
maybe I'm jsut speaking for myself, but if you meet the right person, compromise isn't hard. It's when you're with the wrong person that things don't work.
In reply to gcandlin:
Mine utterly hates me climbing. She's rather scared of heights and can't understand why I'd ever want to do it. Still she puts up with me going out about twice a week along with the odd weekend.
I'd hate to go climbing with her if she did climb tho, I can't see it being a fun experience. I do stupid things often enough as it is. I don't think she'd take me having a 'moment' mid climb very well.
<puke alert>
She's awesome tho and I couldn't survive with out her...
</puke alert>
Mine utterly hates me climbing. She's rather scared of heights and can't understand why I'd ever want to do it. Still she puts up with me going out about twice a week along with the odd weekend.
I'd hate to go climbing with her if she did climb tho, I can't see it being a fun experience. I do stupid things often enough as it is. I don't think she'd take me having a 'moment' mid climb very well.
<puke alert>
She's awesome tho and I couldn't survive with out her...
</puke alert>
If he preferes to spend a weekend climbing than with his girlfriend, then the girlfriend is not going to stick around for long - which i suspect is why most obsessed climbers are single. No one can compete.
I've been trying to get my gf to come climbing for what seems like eternity. after 2 years she been maybe a handful of times. i really wanted a climbing gf, but it seems that they are few and far between. I know when my gf gets aggy about me climbing to much it tends to be because there isn't alot going on in her social life and so wants me to be around for company. very touching but definitely causes friction.
In reply to gcandlin:
My wife doesn't climb, but she will belay for me just to stop me metaphorically climbing up the walls at home.
I've tried getting her into biking and climbing, but it's just not her thing and she respects that they are mine.
Life is good.
al
My wife doesn't climb, but she will belay for me just to stop me metaphorically climbing up the walls at home.
I've tried getting her into biking and climbing, but it's just not her thing and she respects that they are mine.
Life is good.
al
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