UKC

Anyone know how much it would cost to hire an orchestra, a cannon, mortar and bells?

In reply to FesteringSore:

I'm guessing you're after a symphony orchestra to play the 1812?

You looking for something like the LSO or an amateur orchestra?

In reply to Welsh Kate:
Oh, an amateur will do as long as they can play it at full blast in a given direction

In reply to FesteringSore:

There's an excellent symphony orchestra in Kinshasa, many of whom made their own instruments. I bet they'd play for free if you paid for their visas and air tickets; they did come to Britain a couple of years ago as seen in the excellent TV documentary.

In reply to Rigid Raider:


Anything to make the neighbour and his kid realise what we have to put up with. Father(divorced) has got a bit on the side so every so often he buggers off and lets kiddo have the run of the house for a couple of nights.

Kiddo has a dozen or so mates round and it's "Boom - boom - boom..." reverberating around the houses. Last night windows and doors wide open, as cold as it was.

Old man comes back this morning and drives in to the accompaniment of "boom - boom - boom.." from his car radio.

In reply to FesteringSore:

In that case just use the cannon then - claim you were cleaning it and it went off by mistake.

The other aspect of the aforementioned events concerns another neighbour and his family. They are a delightful Indian family; mum, dad and two pre -teen daughters(twins) They are away at the moment and this morning I noticed a large traffic cone in the middle of their lawn. Given the timings of the departure of kiddo's mates I have my suspicions as to who placed it there. There is certainly nobody else in the cul de sac who would have done so.

This might seem strange but I feel a little upset to think that these lovely, inoffensive people will return home and wonder who put it there and why because it is just not the sort of thing that the majority of people in our neighbourhood do. I feel inclined to remove it myself but would have preferred to have been able to identify the culprit.

I know this might sound strange but...that's the way I feel.

In reply to FesteringSore:

My sympathy, we sold our house for less than it was worth just to escape unpleasant and ill-behaved neighbours. It was re-sold three times in the subsequent four years. Will the oaf next door be off to uni soon, by any happy chance?

In reply to Rigid Raider:

>Will the oaf next door be off to uni soon, by any happy chance?
Fat chance!

In reply to FesteringSore:
Some kind of sound-system bass unit which you could use to send rumbling noises in his direction could be a practical way of annoying him?

I've been to music nights in Sheffield where my chest has vibrated due to the bass resonances.

http://preview.tinyurl.com/hqbsmhu

In reply to FesteringSore:

Who needs orchestras when one man and a sampler will do the job?

In reply to FesteringSore:

Just borrow a van, nip to Handsworth or Brixton and hire a really skankin' reggae band.

In reply to FesteringSore:

Go find whichever gang of crusty arseholes had a rave in a field 2 miles from here last night and kept every village within a 5 mile radius awake all night. They shouldn't be too hard to find, their hire van was still bogged down this afternoon and the farmer is refusing to let anyone onto his land to tow it.

In reply to FesteringSore:

It's for posts like this that I love this forum.....


(and I used to love the Fellrunner forum for the same reasons... but the moment has gone)

In reply to FesteringSore:

I don't suppose you could go round and politely ask him to close any doors and windows if they're playing music?

Edit: A polite (anonymous?) letter could be an option too...

In reply to FesteringSore:

Remove traffic cone from nice neighbours' garden place outside gate of not so nice neighbours' gate. Be the change you want to see in the world. If that fails a hard kick in the haw maws sometimes helps.


As an aside, if he's divorced, his partner in not "a bit on the side"; makes you sound a tad bitter.

In reply to FesteringSore:

For some reason I read the Title as 'Hiding an orchestra' and was intrigued. However, reading the thread I'd suggest a phone call to the cops.