In reply to C coldwell-storry:
I had a really rough patch from 3rd year of Uni until March 2020 (around 6 years), the point about thinking how friends would feel was really unhelpful, it just made me feel guilty about considering it.
Ultimately the most important thing I did was walking into A and E in January 2019 and stating that I wasn't able to spend the night at home on my own safely. That got me on medication, I started seeing an excellent trauma counsellor privately about 6 months later which eventually got me to a good state.
It's a really engaging piece of writing, hopefully James can come out of the other side in the near future.