UKC

After some in depth research over a cup of tea I have now concluded that all surnames ending in "er" are undesirable:
Lecter-
Hitler-
Thatcher-
You wouldnt want any of these would you? any more? Is my theory true or am I talking boll*cks?

In reply to Joss:

What about Yul Brinner?

He was really good in Westworld and The king and I

In reply to Joss:

Peacock...

especially if your first name is Drew

In reply to Joss:

When I was at art school I knew a bloke called Russell Sprout.

No joke!

In reply to Joss:

also body parts:

Dick
Wang
Butts

In reply to Joss: You need to watch out for UKC usernames with that ending as well... Crimper....Sloper...

In reply to Joss:

Wedegewood Benn

In reply to niggle:
!

Was he northern Irish? my gf claims to know one as well.

In reply to Joss:

I bet my mates dad, Mr Head, wishes his folks has not called Richard.........

In reply to Nevis-the-cat:

True, but he was a scary psychotic killer in Westworld. I wonder if thats a connection with the other 3?
Theory develops further...

In reply to johnsdowens: how about Pickles as a pet name

In reply to Joss: had a kid at school could Mark Kerr. I'll let you guess what we called him, very uncreative but funny at the time.

Also, work with an Australian born Vietnamese guy called Phat Ho. I bet he took some shit at school.

In reply to Joss:

Bates, if you're a young man or at all likely to be called master.

Hunt, if your first name is Mike

I remember being quite amused when I was younger and sadder by the fact that there was a local fella with the surname Watt and initial T.

In reply to johnsdowens:


I think he was, actually! Was this in Aberdeen by any chance?

In reply to climbingpixie:

Unless you are called Ken Bates in which case you are more likely to be called a straight wanker........

In reply to Joss: Blair

In reply to climbingpixie: Used to be a garage in Leeds called (I kid you not) Eric Hunt!

In reply to Joss:

Flesh.

and Muff.

In reply to Joss:

As we've moved slightly away from -er surnames I'd like to add:

A ex rugby referee in Berkshire called Mike Cock and a friend in Newbury called Richard Worts.

Some parents shouldn't be allowed sense of humours eh?!

In reply to Twinkle: Oh dear. My bank manager was called Peter Muff: nice guy but dear oh dear, trying not to snort with laughter when we were introduced!

In reply to sasmojo:

i went to school with a guy called mark kerr too.

In reply to Joss:

I wouldn't like it if my surname was:

Thecocksucker.

That'd be rubbish.

In reply to Joss:
Seaman although a great keeper

In reply to Joss:

There was a girl at my ju jitsu club with the surname crapper. It was such a bad name I didn't even laugh, I offered my condolences instead.

In reply to David KS:

I used to know a guy called Peter Muff!! He’s changed his name now though (as you would…!). His sister still has the name though :S

In reply to Joss:

Blair, Bush???

In reply to niggle:

Don't know, she knew him back in the motherland. Also knew a Henrietta (Etta) Dick.

In reply to Joss: Saw a shop in Innsbruck some years ago Robert Wanker

Also knew of an airline captain whose name was R(ichard) C(harles) Balls

In reply to Joss:

I work with a bloke called Richard Acock...

In reply to Joss:

My name could be better...

In reply to moomin: Friend of mine's maiden name was Bottom, despite being a fairly vocal feminist she was was quite happy to take her husband's name when she married, and alsoto keep it when divorced

In reply to Joss:

We've got some great names at work. In our New York office is a Shane Wanker. In Sydney we've got Wayne Kerr ( works even better when said with an Australian accent ). And in Tokyo we've got someone called Suk Mi Man. All 100% genuine, I promise.

In reply to Joss:

I knew a guy at uni called Euan Kerr.

Parents really hadn't thought that one through.

In reply to Dunks: Tess Tickles

In reply to Tricky Dicky:

I have an aquaintance called R. Slater

His friends call him Headfirst

Y.

In reply to Joss: Heard of a chap who changed his name by deed poll. Used to be Woodcock, now Okehampton.

In reply to Yrmenlaf:

Now that's a good un

In reply to beriberi: no, two Mark Kerrs in the world. damn them! did you call him wayne? go on, tell me you did!

In reply to Joss: There's a few "Bastards" out there

In reply to Joss:

I know of a bunkhouse in the Peak District run by a Pat Mycock!!

I'm also asuming she took it a a married name

In reply to Joss: My old man once met a guy who's surname was Shirtlift (i'm serious)

I've met someone with the surname Wellbeloved I bet he got some shit at school!

In reply to Joss: I-Look-like-a-tw*t

In reply to Joss: i used to know a lady called lynne orgy

she had married into that name, not sure if it would be bad being called Mr Orgy

In reply to Joss: Pipe, if your name is Dwayne?

In reply to climbingpixie: I used to work with a girl and on her locker at the hospital was her first initial and last name "K Hunt", very unfortunate but it kept me sniggering for a few years!

In reply to tattoo2005:

Child!

In reply to sasmojo:

I was at school with a Mark J Kerr. Popular belief was that the 'J' stood for 'Juan'.

In reply to Niall: I guess, in reference to the other thread, I would use a non de plume if my name was Thatcher, on second thoughts, I would just change my name!

In reply to Joss: Heard something about a couple called Peacock who named their daughter Drew. Took ages for the funny side to dawn on them, apparently...

In reply to Not_a_climber:

Daughter??? Drew's a man's name!

In reply to DougG:

quick. phone drew barrymore and let her know

In reply to The Mole:
The (now dead) Cheif roadie for the Grateful dead was called Lawrence 'RamRod' Shurtliff. maybe the same guy?

In reply to Dunks:
i used to work with a ewan kerr

funny thing is, he was as well

In reply to satori:


Hmmm. I've done it again. I remember someone once saying to me that they had been told that they look like Stevie Nicks, I said "Who's he?".

If I keep my nose clean, there's a career as a High Court Judge beckoning, I reckon.

In reply to rallymania:

Neighbours are the De Aths. I think that's an ace name though.

My mum had a customer in her shop called Ben Deacock.

Went to school with people called Iona Bunch, James Bond and Tracy Sharon Cockshutt. I felt most sorry for Tracy.

In reply to Nao:


Brian De Ath would be nice.

In reply to Joss:

Surnames I've heard in the forces:
(all genuine by the way!)

Major Love
Sergeant Sex

and a chap in the Artillery (remembering that the first rank in the Artillery is a Gunner) his name was Steven.....









Rhea!
Poor bastard!

In reply to outdoorbloke:

Conor Rea would be an unfortunate Irish name. As would Peter Foyle (try saying that with a Dublin accent).

In reply to DougG:

Definately wouldn't want to be either, spesh no2!

In reply to Joss: Hang on, my surname ends in -er!

I went to school with an Earl Gray and a Teresa Green.

In reply to sasmojo:

Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat? I thought it was funny! :O)

In reply to tattoo2005: me too!

In reply to outdoorbloke:

how about this guy:
http://www.hms.harvard.edu/dms/bbs/fac/bender.html

In reply to Joss:

Back to the '-er' surnames - the theory falls down with

Skywalker

That's be an ace surname to have!

In reply to DougG:

I've thought about the second one but I still don't get it... (not sure what a Dublin accent sounds like though).

In reply to Nao:

OK, here's a clue. Try saying "paedophile" with a southern Irish accent.

In reply to sasmojo: Nice to know someone has a childish sense of humour like me. My niece is called Autumn Hall but one of my mates thought it would be funny if her surname had been Attic, making her Autumn Attic (automatic).

I'll get my coat :O$

In reply to Joss: This is the honest truth, in the Deaths column of today's Daily Telegraph a lady of 100 has just died peacefully in her sleep. Her surname was Gotobed.

In reply to tattoo2005: yes, please get your coat....and close the door on your way out, it's cold!

In reply to DougG:
Aha! I see. I wouldn't have got that (not being au fait with Irish). That would be very bad!

In reply to sasmojo: Hey I thought you were taking me for a hot mug of tea?!

In reply to Joss:

A friend of mine has the surname 'Spittle'. His children have taken their mothers name, 'Mason', at their mother's insistence.



G

In reply to tattoo2005: no, just a mug! hehe!

In reply to sasmojo: Oooooooooooooooooh, thats another snowball heading in your general direction in Glencoe!!

In reply to tattoo2005: I see your snow balls and raise them one large Tapir. John can I borrow Colin?

In reply to sasmojo: Hmm, you trying to bring in the heavy artillery now? No chance against the Scottish women I'm afraid :O)

In reply to tattoo2005: Make that two Tapir and a large Australian marsupial called Bruce.

In reply to Joss:

I went to school with a Daniel Kerr, nickname Wayne
Went to Uni with a Jon Allcock, who went on to be a teacher...
Knew a guy called Giles Long, whose parents wanted to call him Miles originally.
Also someone whose whole familiy changed their surname from Onion to Ashton.

All in all I think I was quite lucky!

Paul.

In reply to Delly:

I knew John Thomas Allcock,
Who lived just North of Whitstable.
He had a little something that the girls found irresistable...

In reply to schloosh:


Jardon

especially if your first name was ...

Hugh

In reply to Joss: had a mate who was studying to be a doctor, his surname is GROCOCK, sorry chris if your on here.
i said he should of done penis extensions once he qualified.

In reply to Joss:
I know of a P Nutt

i knew a Shitten Patel once. no kidding. pronounced as you think

In reply to Joss: Hunt, if your first name was Mike. I once knew a Dr Feltwell , no bullshit.

In reply to Joss:
Many years ago I worked with a youg lady called Bedwell. I never found out!

We also had customers called Peter Ennis and Annette Curtain. I have also come across Sue Burns who was a bit firey,

In reply to Joss: My surname is Bald had some hummerous nicknames went to secondary school and to my horror there was a Ian Shave in my reggy class.

My Dads sence of humor is a little off, his news paper anouncments on my birth. "To Bald a son and heir"
Three heirs later you would think he would have changed the record...

But true to form my parents called my youngest brother Richard. Dont think my mum was in on the joke...

It now is a cause for me and my other sibling to take the piss constantly, ahh good days...

Cheers Dave B

In reply to Twinkle:


So, he's shaved his muff, and she hasn't?

In reply to Benglog: i know someone called James Woodcock, complete pr*ck aswell - deserves the name.

and i really wouldnt want to be called Isaac Hunt

In reply to Joss:
Was at uni with a Richard Soul - Mr R Soul - and have met a Mike Hunt.

In reply to Joss:
Goody.

In reply to Joss: no offence, but smith and Jones, no thank you.. in a positive light though, you'd not be easy to track down

In reply to Joss:

Turkish travel agency manager called Akin Koc (no kid) and a Japanese lad whose surname is Sakashita

In reply to sasmojo:

HA! You gotta bring all the heavies in against a small female who weighs about 8 stone 7lb soaking weet? Ya big jessie!

In reply to Joss:

RUTCH!

Can you imagine being called Mike Rutch!

In reply to Mike Hartley:

Not as bad as Mike Hunt..

In reply to Richard Horn:

Watch it, he is a big bloke;

http://www.ukclimbing.com/forums/profile.php?id=27642

Now if you ever wish to book the Whillans hut at the Roaches you will have to creep apologetically to him.

In reply to Joss:
I knew someone called George George.

Not laugh-out-loud funny, just kind of a strange choice.

When our boiler broke, we got it repaired by "Pagan Plumbers"

http://www.yell.com/ucs/UcsSearchAction.do;jsessionid=fwEeVTyqFHX4?searchTy...

and a good job they did too.

In reply to Joss:

I've just had an appointment come through for a minor operation. The surgeon who's doing is Dr Pain - I kid you not !

In reply to Joss: (sort of related)

I used to have a friend who was delivered br a Dr Donald Duck. I think he would have been practising in or around Mallig in the late 60's - could be the one mentioned here:

What's in a name?
by Nic Outterside and Karen Allan, Aberdeen Press & Journal

Andy Warhol once said that everyone gets 15 minutes of fame. But some people, either by accident or design, are destined to a lifetime in lights...and it's all in a name.

Aberdeen Press & Journal readers were tantalised by a plug in Thursday's paper which said: "Exclusive: John Lennon and Glen Miller are alive".

All was revealed yesterday, when the feature appeared. Written by journalists Nic Outterside and Karen Allan, it is reproduced below. It might inspire other reporters around the UK to try writing their own version. Searchable CD-Roms which contain electoral registers and telephone listings make it an easy idea to copy.




John Lennon is alive and well and enjoying the odd bridie in Forfar.
Glenn Miller is also quite in the mood in New Pitsligo.

And how could Brechin be dull when it provides a home to James Dean?

Sounds too far fetched to be true? Well, just ask Karen Carpenter, who's bought a ticket to reside in Livingston.

"I’ve always been a bit of a Carpenters fan," said 42-year-old Karen, "I really do like their music, but I only acquired the name when I married.

"It’s been quite a hoot because I am often teased by people saying: 'Nice to meet someone famous at last'.

"My sister-in-law was born with the name Karen Carpenter," she added, "but lost the Carpenter bit last year when she got married...I think she's a bit disappointed."

James Dean, of Jenner Place, Brechin, was given the name after his father, and his father before him, who was christened long before the Hollywood rebel without a cause lived out the adage to die young.

Mr Dean is director of Brechin City Football Club, and his name features on every match programme.

"Last week, I was getting a hire car at Manchester Airport and the women at the desk noticed my name and asked me about it," he said.

"It’s something you get used to, and you get a few jibes.

"There are a few songs with my name in it - like American Pie - and that's a bit strange.

"I’ve got a tie with a picture of James Dean on it which I wear once or twice a year.

I use the name as a novelty, and I quite enjoy it. I use it when it suits me, and people do remember me for it."

Elsewhere, Scotland has a plethora of name-alike deceased stars.

An investigation by the Press and Journal has discovered five Brian Joneses in Aberdeenshire, a Jim Morrison in Glasgow and two Glenn Millers in Angus and Banff.

Further afield there is a Jimi Hendrix alive and well in Wareham, Dorset, a Janice Joplin in Rossendale, Lancashire, three Freddie Mercurys in Hampshire, an amazing 16 Elvis Presleys in places as diverse as Birmingham, Halifax and Blackburn, and one Marilyn Monroe in Bristol.

Gary Coopers positively abound - there are more than 200 of them in the UK and seven live in Aberdeenshire and Angus.

Two Jimmy Stewarts reside in Dunfermline and Galashiels and a pair of Kirk Douglases live and work in East Kilbride and Lochwinnoch.

Hollywood would not be complete without Cary Grant of Aberdeen's Brebner Crescent - one of six who shares the name.

"It’s my grandmother’s fault," says 26-year-old Cary.

"She called my dad Cary, because she was a bit of a fan and then the name was passed on to me.

"I’ve seen a couple of Cary Grant films, but the problem is I usually have nae realised it is him and people say to me: 'Hey that’s Cary Grant'.

"The worse thing is that other people often call me Gary," he laughed.

But name doppelgangers don't stop with dead screen legends.

Most people may think that rock legend Bob Dylan lives in San Francisco. But the P&J discovered him living in Burton on Trent.

If you’re looking for Mad Max then look no further than Bond Close, Warrington, where you'll find Mel Gibson quite at home.

We couldn’t find a Tom Cruise or a Nicole Kidman, but two Nicola Kidmans live in Cambridge and Bootle, Merseyside.

And you can choose from any one of 13 Tom Hanks or eight Bruce Willises who can be found in towns as far afield as Cheltenham, Huddersfield and Sudbury.

Or maybe the man with no name is more up your dusty street. There are six Clint Eastwoods - three of whom live in the wilds of West Yorkshire.

But if you're a fan of Flubber, Mrs Doubtfire and Dead Poets Society, Robin Williams, of Breakish in Skye, has a tale to tell.

Mr Williams, a self-employed joiner and carpenter, has not experienced many problems with his name.

"There has been no comments out of the ordinary. You don't think about it after a while.

"Everyone asks you if you make the same money, which I unfortunately don't."

Living with a name which shouts out from pop billboards or cinema credits can prove something of a bane as well as a boon.

The UK's biggest grossing film Notting Hill portrayed the agony of stardom.

While the film's star Hugh Grant has endured his own share of real-life paparazzi hounding during the past two weeks, spare a thought for 84 other people who share his name - including three in Aberdeen.

His screen love Julia Roberts shares her name with more than 400 women, including a match in Stenhousemuir.

And Grant's erstwhile partner Liz Hurley could chat to 18 others who have her name. Hugh Grant, of Bridge of Don, Aberdeen, knows the price of fame.

Several years ago one of his former bosses was called Mark Thatcher, and Mr Grant was not backward in teasing him. Now, of course, he suffers the same fate.

"I regret giving him such a hard time," he said.

"The stuff I get depends on what's happening, what's topical on the day and if he's in the news.

"I get a lot of clients at work asking me about it. I got an e-mail the other day from the National Oil Corporation in Korea asking if the famous Hugh Grant worked here, as they wanted him to do a job.

"The name travels far. It's great fun and, I must admit, I wouldn't have any other name."

Meanwhile, Liz Hurley goes under the name Betty in Edinburgh.

Retired Mrs Hurley acquired her name on marriage and did not think anything of it until her namesake became famous six years ago, after the premiere of the film Four Weddings and a Funeral.

She said: "I’m getting used to it now. There used to be lots of comments from people round here - there seems to be something about a famous name that people like.

"I may share a name, but unfortunately don’t have her looks or money. I've been a housewife, and haven't seen much of her glamorous lifestyle either," she joked.

But perhaps all this name-matching should be taken with a large pinch of Disney dust.

For all the 57 George Bests or 150 Zoe Balls spare a lasting thought for Donald Duck, of Mallaig, and Michael Mouse, of Gateshead, Tyne and Wear.

Dr Donald Duck, a retired GP, is philosophical: "It has been quite a nuisance in my job, but does not last very long. Most people just accept it."

Despite having one of the most recognised names in the world, Dr Duck can claim to be an original. When his parents named him 75 years ago, the Disney character was still 10 years away.

"I never thought about changing my name," he said. "I was here first."

Do you have a story for us?
Ring the HoldTheFrontPage newsdesk on
01332 291111 x6022, or e-mail us now

In reply to Cobbler:

Ah. Just properly read the article! Same Dr Duck right enough!

In reply to Joss:

There was a doctor in Edinburg called Donald Duck who chucked himself off whe Forth Road Bridge in the 70's cos he could'nt hack it

In reply to JimR:

Did he swim off after?

In reply to Removed User:

nope .. the quack flew away

In reply to Joss: Windsor

In reply to Joss: There was a boy in our road (when I was a girl) whose surname was Shufflebotham - that was somewhat unfortunate........

In reply to Joss: I worked with a girl who's surname was wanky

In reply to katylittlemiss: worked on same floor with a guy whose surname was Fiddler.... problem was his first name was Richard which was always shortened to Dick, was interesting when me and John Thomas had dinner with him !!!! happy days !!!!

In reply to Joss: I don't get it?

In reply to Richard Farker:

My best mate went to primary school with a girl named Iona Lemon.

Andy

In reply to Joss:

I've got a friend with the surname Toogood.

I'm having trouble coming up with new an original ways to make fun of her now....

In reply to Joss: Know of someone at college called Nick Hiscock, what was his folks thinking

In reply to cookty:

At least they didn't cvall him Pull.

In reply to Joss: I teach a lad called Ryan King, used to teach one called Ross Hunt.

Andy F

In reply to andy farnell:
What's the punchline?

The Ent

In reply to oooaaah: Erica or Faye by any chance?...my cousins affraid i dont have the same surname tho

i had an art teacher called mrs pinny and a head teacher called mr nut.