In reply to 2pints:
Having skimmed through the thread I get the distinct feeling that:
1. You haven't really told us the whole story here
2. There's more bollocks than usual being spouted in the name of advice.
To reiterate some of the saner voices:
- Employers don't start disciplinaries for fun. They are an enormous distraction and drain - why would they bother if you have already resigned, unless there's some seriously bad blood established already?
- Employers can write whatever they like on a reference as long as it is true. In a phone call they will probably be even more open but "off the record"
- You can talk to a union rep whenever you want and most disciplinary procedures include representation or support, even in non-union environments
To be perfectly honest, from the way you talk about the absences (which grew from 2 days to several weeks in the course of the thread) and your relationship with the employer, it sounds like you f*cked this one up a bit. My advice is not to make it worse. If I've substantially misinterpreted it all and done you a grave disservice, then I apologise - but that is how it reads.
J