UKC

Hello. 

I hoped someone might have some advice, been in the same situation, anything really.  

I learned to climb a few years ago with my wife and a few friends, got really into it, did a few courses, progressed to climbing outdoors and had 1 great spring/summer of climbing. 

During lockdown I saved for the kit, did a trad course etc, waiting for lockdown to end and go out again. Since then, my wife has lost interest, my friends now prefer running and never climb. I don't know anyone else that climbs, I've put up posts asking for a climbing partner around my (low) ability, made a couple of friends at a local indoor wall, etc but unable to find a regular climbing partner.

That was last year, I haven't climbed for about 9 months now and giving up hope of ever climbing semi regularly.  Does anyone have any recommendations, been in the same situation? I also cave fairly regularly and am at the point where I'm thinking of giving up and selling up all my barely used climbing gear to put into caving instead. I don't even know what my ability is anymore, I was climbing 6+ indoor and 5 outdoor but it's been a long time. 

With apologies for stating the bleedin' obvious..
Have a look around to see if you have a club locally that you might think about joining?

Take a look at the BMC website. You will find lots of climbing/walking clubs listed. Years ago I was in the same situation as yourself, so I started a club. Last year was our 40th anniversary and still going strong.  Which part of the country do you live? Wales?

DON'T GIVE UP!!!!

Swansea.

Thanks very much, just sent an email to South Wales Mountaineering Club. I'll give that a go. I'd looked a while ago but only found the university clubs. 

as above, join a club and you'll be sorted

Sorted.   

The South Wales mountaineering club is pretty active around the Swansea area and also have Eastern group (climbing more around Cardiff and the valleys) and a hut in North Wales (although the hut is closed for refurbishment at the moment).

They get out on Wednesday evenings and weekends in the warmer months and climb at Dynamic rock (Clydach) and Boulders (Cardiff) in the winter/wet days.

They're a friendly bunch of all ages and abilities so don't be put off by lack of experience etc.

Hope you get in touch with them.

Definitely don't give up.  I'm no socialite and it's been a three year struggle to find partners to climb with. Lockdowns certainly haven't helped.  I still haven't been back to the indoor wall I used to train at. What has happened gradually, is I have jumped on every opportunity posted on this site, to offer to join others locally.  Plus I have continued to solo simple stuff and practice my rope work alone at popular local crags, then chat to those I met there. As a result I now have several people I have climbed with more than once and will climb with again.  Still not a regular buddy to climb with, but I would hope one will emerge as time goes on.

Long and the short, if you enjoy the climbing, then keep working on the partners thing. There are loads of people out there in a similar boat and you will find them.  Just keep at it.

Fill out a profile on here, and whore yourself around, you will meet some great folk.

I was told this years ago when I had the same issue you as you.
The more you climb, the more partners you will have.

Its been a weird year with the Pandemic, stick with it.

I was in the South Wales Mountaineering Club years ago when I was at Cardiff University. It was an exceptionally good club, and no doubt still is.

For long term happy climbing it would be easiest if your life partner was also your climbing partner. Otherwise it’s always you are going somewhere to do something with someone else, while she is doing something else somewhere else with someone else. And it sounds as if at one point she was climbing with you. Maybe she lost fitness or interest over the lockdown but she can get it back.  Plan a weekend somewhere you can climb but include some other things to break back in gently.  One day hill walking, one day climbing with somewhere nice to stay.

Climbing is a wonderful activity to do with your SO. Holidays around the world to visit destinations, partner for the gym nights etc. It’s worth trying to get her back interested. Doesn’t have to be your only partner but I think you should not give up on having your wife as part of your climbing life.

Thatd be perfect. 

I've found climbing with my partner regularly isn't workable. Various reasons. Just be prepared for a variety of outcomes. 

Good luck. Have fun. 

I had a period of friends having kids so their racks ended up in the garage with all the other things they used to do. Got involved with a new bunch of active climbers and ended up marrying one of them. Not suggesting for a moment that you dump the wife you already have as I'm sure in that role she's perfect but after taking a climbing course and putting out there a bit, it was surprising where the path took me. Still have the old climbing mates as friends who are ex-climbers with kids.

Hmm. I think the fact that my wife regularly gets shot of me for days and sometimes weeks on end when I bugger off climbing is what has saved my marriage.

Never sell your gear. I gave up when I was in my twenties, living in Dorset and doing lots of other things. I sold all my gear and a year later was building up my rack again and had a much better time of it. 

If you're passionate about climbing, then why would a few friends withdrawing from climbing put you off? If you're not passionate about it, then you'll probably drop out anyway. It's up to you, really. 

The friends I started climbing with dropped out when they had children and decided to use what time they had to run instead. It was just a good excuse to make some new friends - and some of those new people have become very close friends over the last 4 years. It took a bit of time, but it's one of those things that happens exponentially, with one new friend introducing you to another. During periods where I had less partners, sometimes I'd lack someone to climb with, so I'd boulder and solo short, easy things on my own; otherwise, I'd boulder inside. I also introduced friends to climbing from being novices and helped those with a bit of experience to develop their competence. Every effort for others - organising, teaching, loaning gear, sharing experience - was worth it. It was frustrating at times not to have partners who I could rely on, but I didn't think of quitting climbing for the simple reason that I loved it.

So: maybe it's ok to quit and concentrate on caving if you prefer that. Otherwise, if you do have the urge, then don't rely on others for motivation; make things happen yourself. 

And just remember to be safe whatever you do... good belaying earns you partners; shoddy belaying - from yourself or others - shouldn't be tolerated. So many club pics with people belaying trad stood 20ft out from the rock, scratching their arses...!

Lots of good advice here. If you start using UKC to find partners then it might be worth thinking about your profile on here. Give a sense of where you are based, what you like to climb, what level, etc. It's like dating - you have to put something of yourself into your profile. Different people get different things out of a day's climbing and both parties want a good match.

I live in Swansea also regularly looking for a climbing partner if your intrested. Loads of time off at present and retiring in October so plenty of time to climb. 

If you use Facebook there might be a local 'looking for climbing partners' group/page- up here there is 'Lakeland Climbers with a day off', which is handy for finding partners. I am lucky to have quite a few friends that I can climb with but I would not say I have a regular climbing partner as work, weather etc makes scheduling difficult, so rather than trying to find just one partner look for  a few people to go climbing with. Good luck.

Buy a bouldering mat or two, a local bouldering guidebook, and go bouldering?  After a decade of sport climbing, the Covid19 situation led me to rediscover the delights of bouldering.  No partner required, just climb when you like, at your own pace, and for however long you like.  Lots of good indoor facilities too (at least until the next lockdown) - even as a dedicated sport climber, I far preferred indoor bouldering to indoor routes - much more engaging moves and possible to get utterly beasted far quicker!

If you do and you need a  decent lamp then I can't recommend a Rude Nora enough, brilliant bit of kit 

Don't give up man you will find somebody to climb with maybe get in touch with a guide or something im in the same situation as well im 14 so I can't join any clubs or nothing and I scramble with my dad but he doesn't want to do anything harder anymore he's more into walking and I'm more into scrambling and climbing 

Hahahaha.....I call it pimping myself out

Something my parents used to say when I was younger, along the lines of things coming to fruition (or becoming clear) in the fulness of time comes to mind, if you keep applying focus to it, you'll find some climbing partners eventually.