/ LGBT Survey for the UK

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Timmd on 12 Sep 2017
The British Government is carrying out a consultation survey, asking for the experiences of members of the LGBT community.

https://www.gov.uk/government/consultations/national-lgbt-survey

One can contribute via the link just above.
22
FactorXXX - on 12 Sep 2017
In reply to Timmd:

I'm not part of the LGBT Community, so I'm out...
4
deepsoup - on 12 Sep 2017
In reply to FactorXXX:
Likewise, but I'd like to see this survey get the biggest possible response so am glad to see the link posted here (again).
4
Timmd on 12 Sep 2017
In reply to deepsoup:

Yes, we're all equal in the end.
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pasbury on 12 Sep 2017
In reply to Timmd:

Still getting dislikes I see

Hopefully we won't see ayreshirerunner and his bile return.
8
Ramblin dave - on 12 Sep 2017
In reply to FactorXXX:

> I'm not part of the LGBT Community, so I'm out...

Oh right, I thought asking for "experiences of members of the LGBT community" meant it was a user satisfaction survey, eg "would you recommend Jon Stewart to a friend?"
1
Timmd on 12 Sep 2017
In reply to pasbury:
> Still getting dislikes I see

It's hard to know what there is to dislike? My bisexual friend was very funny over the weekend, recounting sitting playing poker in the casino we were eating in, and having a 'blonde bond girl' sitting next to her, whom she'd snog every so often to distract the men she was playing against. It doesn't do any harm to anybody else for people to be gay or lesbian or other, in diversity there is beauty, with different kinds of friendships and relationships which can grow between people.

> Hopefully we won't see ayreshirerunner and his bile return.

It doesn't really matter, one can always start another thread. People like him won't win in the end...
Post edited at 20:10
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Timmd on 12 Sep 2017
In reply to pasbury:
I think the dislikes are coming from people who have internal conflicts, and it makes them uncomfortable, so they dislike anything they come across which chimes with what they're not at ease with.

Otherwise, reasons for having a problem with any diversions from being straight, would be something other than it being 'wrong' or 'immoral' for reasons which can't be articulated.

There's enough instances of lesbian and gay sex to be found in other animal species, to stop it being seen as unnatural, should anybody want to look.
Post edited at 22:41
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Lusk - on 12 Sep 2017
In reply to Timmd:

I'm sick to death about hearing about the LGBT community to be perfectly honest.
Welcome to the World, life's tough now and again.
Go and bleat about it over a skinny latte somewhere.
43
bouldery bits - on 12 Sep 2017
In reply to Lusk:

I'm sick to death of hearing about the Lusk community to be perfectly honest.
Welcome to the world, life's tough now and again.
Go an bleat about it over a skinny lusky, or a flat Big Ger, or a cinnamon Lemming somewhere.
13
nufkin - on 12 Sep 2017
In reply to Timmd:

> There's enough instances of lesbian and gay sex to be found in other animal species, to stop it being seen as unnatural, should anybody want to look

Supposing someone did want to go look, just for, you know, mind-broadening purposes - where would be a good place to start?
bouldery bits - on 12 Sep 2017
In reply to nufkin:

> Supposing someone did want to go look, just for, you know, mind-broadening purposes - where would be a good place to start?

Wigan
balmybaldwin - on 12 Sep 2017
In reply to nufkin:

My Ex's dog Winston used to try and shag my mate Matt every time he (Matt) got drunk and slept on the couch
tom_in_edinburgh - on 12 Sep 2017
In reply to nufkin:

> Supposing someone did want to go look, just for, you know, mind-broadening purposes - where would be a good place to start?

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/gay-pride-lions-doncaster-yorkshire-wildlife-park-rus...
1
The Lemming - on 12 Sep 2017
In reply to bouldery bits:

>
> Go an bleat about it over a skinny lusky, or a flat Big Ger, or a cinnamon Lemming somewhere.


I don't recall commenting on this discussion, so why has my name been brought up?
1
Timmd on 12 Sep 2017
In reply to Lusk:
> I'm sick to death about hearing about the LGBT community to be perfectly honest.
> Welcome to the World, life's tough now and again.
> Go and bleat about it over a skinny latte somewhere.

Huh? Where's this grumble coming from? It's simply a survey to fill in. You didn't have to click on the thread.

To do with life being tough. Instances of mental health problems seem to be more highly represented in LGBT people than in the general population.

You could grumble on here in a reactionary sort of way, or you could have a ponder about why that might be, if you're wanting to post about life being tough, you know, think a little about being human, and put yourself in the place of others?

If you're sick to death of LGBT related things, why did you bother to click on the thread?

Post edited at 23:23
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Jon Stewart - on 12 Sep 2017
In reply to Lusk:

> I'm sick to death about hearing about the LGBT community to be perfectly honest.

Then lock yourself inside an airtight, soundproof container until all the gays have gone away.

10
Timmd on 12 Sep 2017
In reply to nufkin:

> Supposing someone did want to go look, just for, you know, mind-broadening purposes - where would be a good place to start?

You could google for the figures, it's something like 2000 animal species.
1
Lusk - on 12 Sep 2017
In reply to bouldery bits:

https://www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/culturalidentity/sexuality/bulletins/sexualident...

(See Main point No 1)
For a small minority of the population, they make a hell of a lot of noise.
We've just had saturation coverage over the 50th anniversary of the repeal of the homosexuality offences act.
They've been partying down Canal Street in Manchester for the last 30 odd years, while I've been in Manc., with next to no grief. The old queer bashing days of the 70s are long gone. And just for the record, I couldn't give a monkeys about anyone's sexuality, shall I bang on about what get up to with my Mrs?

I'm honoured that you think there's a 'Lusk Community'!
Big G is my Vice-President
12
bouldery bits - on 12 Sep 2017
In reply to The Lemming:

> I don't recall commenting on this discussion, so why has my name been brought up?

As a well known UKC stalwart, I selected you to help make my point (ie that the gentleman i have responded to seems to be moaning on UKC about people that he perceives as moaning). No offence intended L dog.
3
bouldery bits - on 12 Sep 2017
In reply to Lusk:

I know, minorities making a disproportionate amount of noise. Awful.
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Timmd on 12 Sep 2017
In reply to Lusk:
> ht tps://www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/culturalidentity/sexuality/bulletins/sexualident...

> (See Main point No 1)

> For a small minority of the population, they make a hell of a lot of noise.

> We've just had saturation coverage over the 50th anniversary of the repeal of the homosexuality offences act.

> They've been partying down Canal Street in Manchester for the last 30 odd years, while I've been in Manc., with next to no grief. The old queer bashing days of the 70s are long gone. And just for the record, I couldn't give a monkeys about anyone's sexuality, shall I bang on about what get up to with my Mrs?

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/gay-lgbt-hate-crimes-stats-rise-four-year-physical-ve...

Are you sure that the old queer bashing days are long gone???

It's always easier to live in peace if one is from the majority, which in this country means being straight and white, anybody born as such can be luckier than they know (in certain ways), which is fine, nobody should feel bad about that.

What isn't fine, is to assume that anybody not like oneself is making a fuss about their rights, when one hasn't (seemingly) looked very carefully into what everyday life can be like for them, and then grumble about them.
Post edited at 23:45
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birdie num num - on 12 Sep 2017
In reply to Timmd:

I had a go at some minority bestiality with horses but they're not very good kissers and besides, their breath smells and their hoofs aren't much good for fondling your willy
2
Lusk - on 13 Sep 2017
In reply to Jon Stewart:

> Then lock yourself inside an airtight, soundproof container until all the gays have gone away.

You think your something special?
Think again fella!
19
Jon Stewart - on 13 Sep 2017
In reply to Lusk:

I don't know what you mean.

If you're right and there is nothing for gays to moan on about, then that's what the survey will tell the government. Then they'll know not to bother with any equality policies because there's no problem.

The irony is that you should be glad that the survey is being done so that you can be proven right. And yet you're moaning. Doesn't seem to me like you understand the issue.
3
Timmd on 13 Sep 2017
In reply to Lusk:
> You think your something special?

''I'm sick to death about hearing about the LGBT community''

I think he'd just like you to not say you're sick of (hearing about) him?

If this thread ends up like the last one did, I'll just start another one. There's no reason why a survey asking for the experiences of LGBT people in the UK shouldn't get an airing on here.

Any negativity about it doesn't start with LGBT people on here...
Post edited at 01:59
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Big Ger - on 13 Sep 2017
In reply to balmybaldwin:

> My Ex's dog Winston used to try and shag my mate Matt every time he (Matt) got drunk and slept on the couch

I've got a mate called Matt with the same problem, attracts hounds everywhere he goes.
Big Ger - on 13 Sep 2017
In reply to Lusk:

> Big G is my Vice-President

I'm honoured.

Mind you, some of my best mates are poofs.

3
Big Ger - on 13 Sep 2017
In reply to Timmd:

I get to vote on gays marrying soon.
1
deacondeacon - on 13 Sep 2017
In reply to Lusk:

> I'm sick to death about hearing about the LGBT community to be perfectly honest.

> Welcome to the World, life's tough now and again.

> Go and bleat about it over a skinny latte somewhere.


I work in a typical factory, in a typical town in Yorkshire with a fairly close knit community of about 80 employees.
I'd say over 75% of the staff were homophobic with at least 10 people stating that they'd disown their own children if they turned out to be "bummers". The problems are very much still there for people in the LGBT community and they're not going away any time soon. If you're working in Graphic Design or Fashion in Shoreditch then perhaps it's not so much an issue but just like our sexuality we don't get to choose where we're born and brought up and life can be very difficult for many.
Just to say that they should stop moaning and there hasn't been a problem since the 70's is about as naive (or moronic) as you can get.
5
Wanderer100 - on 13 Sep 2017
In reply to Timmd:

> You could google for the figures, it's something like 2000 animal species.

Do they wear lip stick and eye shadow and mince around in high heels as well like Eddie Izzard does?
16
Stichtplate on 13 Sep 2017
In reply to Wanderer100:

> Do they wear lip stick and eye shadow and mince around in high heels as well like Eddie Izzard does?

Is that what you imagine gay people do ?

...oh, and Eddie Izzard isn't gay.
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Dave Kerr - on 13 Sep 2017
In reply to Lusk:

> I'm sick to death about hearing about the LGBT community to be perfectly honest.

That must be a dreadful burden for you.
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pasbury on 13 Sep 2017
In reply to Lusk:

News just in: Man sick to death of anything to do with LGBT community clicks on only thread with LGBT in the title.
3
Wanderer100 - on 13 Sep 2017
In reply to Stichtplate:

> Is that what you imagine gay people do ?

No it's what I imagine gay cross dressers do.

> ...oh, and Eddie Izzard isn't gay.

Did I say he was?
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Stichtplate on 13 Sep 2017
In reply to Wanderer100:

> No it's what I imagine gay cross dressers do.

> Did I say he was?

You were commenting on what Timmd had written about the incidence of homosexuality in animals. Not cross dressers.

Since you've just reiterated ' it's what I imagine gay cross dressers do.' Then yes , it would be reasonable to infer that you think Izzard is gay.
3
FactorXXX - on 13 Sep 2017
In reply to deacondeacon:

I work in a typical factory, in a typical town in Yorkshire with a fairly close knit community of about 80 employees.
I'd say over 75% of the staff were homophobic with at least 10 people stating that they'd disown their own children if they turned out to be "bummers".


Might be typical in Yorkshire, but it certainly isn't typical in places I've worked in South Wales and South West England.
Jim Hamilton - on 13 Sep 2017
In reply to Timmd:

Assuming the thread is a sort of representative of what the survey will show, what plans do you think the government should introduce to improve LGBT equality?
pasbury on 13 Sep 2017
In reply to Jim Hamilton:

Address ignorance.
2
Jon Stewart - on 13 Sep 2017
In reply to Jim Hamilton:

> Assuming the thread is a sort of representative of what the survey will show, what plans do you think the government should introduce to improve LGBT equality?

Good question. I'm not sure what this thread represents except the usual balance of normal people and a bit of "I'm not homophobic, but I do feel compelled to make a negative remark with a lazy stereotype at the sight of the acronym LBGT". Well I'm not claustrophobic, but I do become very anxious in confined spaces...

The survey is about social attitudes in part and practical stuff like access to services, how employers treat staff, hate crime, and how services such as healthcare work for gay people. I think much of it is policy evaluation, since there's an awful lot of policy in place to try to ensure equal rights. The bottom line is that if, as the government, you don't know about this stuff, you don't know if the policies in place have worked, whether the healthcare system is treating LGBT people equally, whether kids are getting appropriate education in schools, whether unreported hate crime is a problem, etc.

Equal rights is pretty much enshrined in law now, any policy intervention would be fairly soft stuff like making sure people delivering services knew what they were doing e.g. schools addressing homophobic bullying, police and healthcare staff not discouraging LGBT folk from using services, that type of thing.
2
Timmd on 13 Sep 2017
In reply to Jim Hamilton:
> Assuming the thread is a sort of representative of what the survey will show, what plans do you think the government should introduce to improve LGBT equality?

I wouldn't know how representative this is, but it's only by the life experiences of whoever it is being understood, that any obstacles they face which result in an inequality of life chances can be addressed. Finding out why LGBT people tend to have more instances of anxiety and depression and similar seems like a very good place to start. I've had/manage both, and they can both be very grim indeed. It might be that it stems from zigging growing up while the rest of the world zags, from feeling different to everybody else in school as a kid and not knowing quite why, which seems to be a shared experience for gay and lesbian people, but introducing more about different kinds of sexuality into teaching in schools may help towards addressing this.

While going through different courses via BTCV and Halfway, I saw how mental health problems can affect anybody when it comes to class and age, but the rates do seem to be higher among LGBT people.
Post edited at 15:29
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cragtaff - on 13 Sep 2017
In reply to Jon Stewart:

probably make it illegal to be heterosexual, or to admit to it,
18
Trangia on 13 Sep 2017
In reply to pasbury:

> News just in: Man sick to death of anything to do with LGBT community clicks on only thread with LGBT in the title.

Maybe he thought it was going to be about sandwiches?
1
Timmd on 13 Sep 2017
In reply to cragtaff:
> probably make it illegal to be heterosexual, or to admit to it,

Why would you even think to post that?

Do you think gay and lesbian people will suddenly dislike their parents and friends?

Really?

Post edited at 16:54
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Jon Stewart - on 13 Sep 2017
In reply to cragtaff:

probably. these days, if you say you're english, you get arrested and thrown in jail, don't you?
3
Timmd on 13 Sep 2017
In reply to cragtaff:
> probably make it illegal to be heterosexual, or to admit to it,

Here's a thought experiment for you. Imagine that being straight actually is looked down upon, and overhearing things like this while developing from childhood as a straight person.

1.'It's not very good that, it's a little bit straight'

2.'Look at him, lol at his mannerisms, the hetro'

3.'If my son turned out to be straight, I'd not want to know him'

4.'I can see how people like different things, but it's a little bit weird to be straight'

5.' If my best mate turned out to be straight, I'd beat him up'

6. In an insulting tone. 'Straight!'

7.'It's hard to see how anybody straight can be a real man, really'

8.'I'd not like anybody straight going near any of my children and leading them astray, it's unnatural'

9. 'Stop acting straight'

10. 'There's got to be something wrong with anybody who turns out to heterosexual when they grow up, like being sexually abused as a child I reckon.'

11. 'Why would anybody want to be straight anyway?'

Imagine hearing stuff like this while growing up, and it being continuously from before you can register it's impact psychologically, to a person's sense of self and self esteem, having to develop enough self awareness to understand it's impact, and keeping coming across attitudes like that in the adult world.

Mightn't you want to see some changes in how people see and treat you, too?
Post edited at 18:21
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mick taylor - on 13 Sep 2017
In reply to bouldery bits:

I'm from Wigan and youve just given me an idea for my 'mounted stags head' post...
Wanderer100 - on 13 Sep 2017
In reply to Stichtplate:

> You were commenting on what Timmd had written about the incidence of homosexuality in animals. Not cross dressers.

> Since you've just reiterated ' it's what I imagine gay cross dressers do.' Then yes , it would be reasonable to infer that you think Izzard is gay.

Too be honest I'm not really interested in what you infer from micro analysing some random post on yet another thread about the LGBT community or some other perceived worthy cause thats is reaching out to grab my undeserved attention.
13
Stichtplate on 13 Sep 2017
In reply to Wanderer100:

> Too be honest I'm not really interested in what you infer from micro analysing some random post on yet another thread about the LGBT community or some other perceived worthy cause thats is reaching out to grab my undeserved attention.

I can tell how little you're interested by the fact that you bothered to reply.... yawn.
4
Wanderer100 - on 13 Sep 2017
In reply to Stichtplate:

> I can tell how little you're interested by the fact that you bothered to reply.... yawn.

>

Who gives a shit?
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Stichtplate on 13 Sep 2017
In reply to Wanderer100:

> Who gives a shit?

Well I'd tell you but I think you're making it increasingly obvious.
3
Wanderer100 - on 13 Sep 2017
In reply to Stichtplate:

> Well I'd tell you but I think you're making it increasingly obvious.

>

Well I must admit you are a mildly irritating non entity!
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Stichtplate on 13 Sep 2017
In reply to Wanderer100:

> Well I must admit you are a mildly irritating non entity!

Agreed. On both counts.
Wanderer100 - on 13 Sep 2017
In reply to Stichtplate:

We should go for a climb in North Wales one day and mildly irritate each other.
1
Stichtplate on 13 Sep 2017
In reply to Wanderer100:
> We should go for a climb in North Wales one day and mildly irritate each other.

You know, I'd probably enjoy that. I suspect most people on here aren't nearly as annoying in real life.

Edit: but would you tell your mates that we met on a forum discussing LGBT issues.
Post edited at 20:21
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FactorXXX - on 13 Sep 2017
In reply to Wanderer100:

We should go for a climb in North Wales one day and mildly irritate each other.

This is how lots of such romances start.
Both parties secretly love each other, but hide it behind a veil of animosity and petty arguing for fear of yielding to the temptation of feasting on forbidden fruit.
How sweet...
Stichtplate on 13 Sep 2017
In reply to FactorXXX:
I think someone has Brokeback Mountain in their all time top 5. I'm looking at you Factor.
Post edited at 20:27
1
Wanderer100 - on 13 Sep 2017
In reply to FactorXXX:

> We should go for a climb in North Wales one day and mildly irritate each other.

> This is how lots of such romances start.

> Both parties secretly love each other, but hide it behind a veil of animosity and petty arguing for fear of yielding to the temptation of feasting on forbidden fruit.

> How sweet...

Ahem.....we can call it a bromance if you don't mind!!
Chris Harris - on 13 Sep 2017
In reply to Timmd:

Why does everyone in a minority group (shared race/sexuality/hobby/whatever) apparently have to belong to a "community".

We're all just people.

Or am I a member of the "balding, middle aged, middle class, white bloke" community & never even knew it?
2
Timmd on 13 Sep 2017
In reply to Chris Harris:

I probably used it as just a turn of phrase.
3
Chris Harris - on 13 Sep 2017
In reply to Timmd:

It wasn't aimed at you specifically, more of a generic observation on an irritating current terminology. It wouldn't surprise me to see a reference to the loner community......
Big Ger - on 13 Sep 2017
Timmd on 14 Sep 2017
In reply to Big Ger:
Nice one! There'll be equality despite the grumps.
Post edited at 01:01
1
FactorXXX - on 14 Sep 2017
In reply to Stichtplate:

I think someone has Brokeback Mountain in their all time top 5

Haven't seen it, but know the premise of the film is about Cowboys and their chaps...
To be honest, I'm not really into Cowboy films/Westerns. Well, unless they've got Clint in them obviously.

I'm looking at you Factor.

Not sure whether to be flattered or scared!
hokkyokusei - on 14 Sep 2017
In reply to Jon Stewart:

> probably. these days, if you say you're english, you get arrested and thrown in jail, don't you?

When did this come in?
1
Jon Stewart - on 14 Sep 2017
In reply to hokkyokusei:
Cragtaff's insightful post reminded me of this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XkCBhKs4faI


Edit. Ah! just watched it again... get you now.
Post edited at 22:24
1
hokkyokusei - on 15 Sep 2017
In reply to Jon Stewart:

...

> Edit. Ah! just watched it again... get you now.

;)
krikoman - on 15 Sep 2017
In reply to balmybaldwin:

> My Ex's dog Winston used to try and shag my mate Matt every time he (Matt) got drunk and slept on the couch

My Ex mate Matt used to shag my mate's dog, Winston, every time he (Winston) got drunk and slept on the settee ( He never had a couch as he was too posh for that sort of thing)
2
FactorXXX - on 15 Sep 2017
In reply to krikoman:

My Ex mate Matt used to shag my mate's dog, Winston, every time he (Winston) got drunk and slept on the settee ( He never had a couch as he was too posh for that sort of thing)

Give the dog a bone...
krikoman - on 15 Sep 2017
In reply to Timmd:

> The British Government is carrying out a consultation survey, asking for the experiences of members of the LGBT community.


<engage green pen>
This is blatant discrimination, just because I'm not LGBT DSO and Bar, I can't do the survey, how dare they?
<disengage green pen>
2
Timmd on 21 Sep 2017
In reply to krikoman:
Very funny.

More seriously, I read something shocking yesterday about how (in America at least) bisexual people are more likely than gay or lesbian people to have things like anxiety and depression, and to be raped too. I wouldn't have thought it.
Post edited at 12:37
Big Ger - on 23 Sep 2017
In reply to Timmd:

> Very funny.

> More seriously, I read something shocking yesterday about how (in America at least) bisexual people are more likely than gay or lesbian people to have things like anxiety and depression, and to be raped too. I

You're a bundle of laughs you.
2
Big Ger - on 23 Sep 2017
In reply to Timmd:

This has been cheering me up no end...

"Former prime minister Tony Abbott says he was shocked when a man wearing a "Vote Yes" badge assaulted him after requesting a handshake in a "sign of trust and peace".

Mr Abbott is an outspoken supporter of the campaign against same-sex marriage.

He said the man approached him on a Hobart street last night, asked to shake his hand and then headbutted him before running away swearing and saying Mr Abbott deserved to be hit."


http://www.abc.net.au/news/2017-09-21/tony-abbott-headbutted-by-ssm-supporter-in-hobart/8970658

Timmd on 23 Sep 2017
In reply to Big Ger:
It mirrors what I've come across in some new friends, at the time of posting I was mulling it over still, wondering why it might be.

Whether it's cheery or not if it's the same in the UK it's worth knowing about, as something might be done about making things better.

Good job the government have decided on the survey in the OP, then. ;-)
Post edited at 00:39
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Timmd on 23 Sep 2017
In reply to Big Ger:
It doesn't follow the 'sign of trust and peace' sentiment very well, to headbutt and run away again. That's weirdly funny.
Post edited at 00:39
1
Deviant - on 24 Sep 2017
In reply to Timmd:

> Very funny.

> More seriously, I read something shocking yesterday about how (in America at least) bisexual people are more likely than gay or lesbian people to have things like anxiety and depression, and to be raped too. I wouldn't have thought it.

Usually, I only use this account for a bit of fun but being bi-sexual is often anything but !

I know from personal experience just how hard it is to balance things : one minute you are in love with a girl, the next it is a boy and sometimes the two at the same time. Inevitably someone is going to be hurt and often that person is yourself.
My worst experience was my attempt at running two relationships simultaneously, you can only do this by lying and ultimately the truth comes out and everything falls apart, leaving just one big loser.

So, depression and anxiety for certain.
1
marsbar - on 24 Sep 2017
In reply to Deviant:

I could be missing something here, but being in love with 2 people and the problems associated with having a relationship with 2 people at the same time don't strike me as particularly bisexual problems. Plenty of straight people have affairs.

My impression is that bisexual people don't get much support or sense of belonging from the gay community or from straight people so I can see its not easy from that aspect.
Deviant - on 24 Sep 2017
In reply to marsbar:

Indeed, I can't argue with that but being "bi" I've always seen it as a more difficult problem. Go figure !
marsbar - on 24 Sep 2017
In reply to Chris Harris:

Middle age middle class straight white men don't generally need a community. They are the ones getting on with life because they aren't the ones facing sexism racism homophobia or class bias.

Communities develop because their members come together to support each other and spend time with people without being the odd one out like the rest of the time.

I might be able to find you a support group if the balding bothers you.
3
marsbar - on 24 Sep 2017
In reply to Deviant:

Mathematically speaking you do have twice the choice of people to fall in love with. You don't have a default set of people who you are expecting to have platonic friendships with. Maybe that's it?
1
Thrudge on 24 Sep 2017
In reply to Trangia:

> Maybe he thought it was going to be about sandwiches?

Does the G stand for gherkin?
1
nufkin - on 24 Sep 2017
In reply to marsbar:

> Mathematically speaking you do have twice the choice of people to fall in love with. You don't have a default set of people who you are expecting to have platonic friendships with. Maybe that's it?

Pros and cons then. I wonder if a certain amount of difficulty arises from bisexuality being a 'steppingstone' from hetro to homo for some - perfectly understandable, but I can see that some who have 'committed' and suffered the stigma could be a bit resentful at what they might interpret as fence-sitting.
Hopefully this is becoming less of an issue and will cease to be much of a problem as people come to care less about who other folk find attractive
Timmd on 24 Sep 2017
In reply to marsbar:

> My impression is that bisexual people don't get much support or sense of belonging from the gay community or from straight people so I can see its not easy from that aspect.

Yes, a bisexual friend jokingly said 'Gays and lesbians hate us'.
Timmd on 24 Sep 2017
In reply to Deviant:
> Usually, I only use this account for a bit of fun but being bi-sexual is often anything but !

> I know from personal experience just how hard it is to balance things : one minute you are in love with a girl, the next it is a boy and sometimes the two at the same time. Inevitably someone is going to be hurt and often that person is yourself.

> My worst experience was my attempt at running two relationships simultaneously, you can only do this by lying and ultimately the truth comes out and everything falls apart, leaving just one big loser.

> So, depression and anxiety for certain.

That sounds hard to experience. Without wanting to negate any anguish, I almost wonder if you're at risk of reinforcing an unhelpful stereotype about bisexual people? Which is that they might stray or be unfaithful if somebody of the other gender catches their eye. To my surprise I know 4 bisexual people, and none of them have been unfaithful, perhaps your challenge is one of 'emotional identity' as it were? Good luck either way, being depressed and anxious is never fun.
Post edited at 19:50
1
Timmd on 26 Sep 2017
Timmd on 28 Sep 2017
In reply to nufkin:
> Pros and cons then. I wonder if a certain amount of difficulty arises from bisexuality being a 'steppingstone' from hetro to homo for some - perfectly understandable, but I can see that some who have 'committed' and suffered the stigma could be a bit resentful at what they might interpret as fence-sitting.

> Hopefully this is becoming less of an issue and will cease to be much of a problem as people come to care less about who other folk find attractive

Some people don't believe in bisexuality. I can remember Cilla Black once said it didn't exist when on the Jonathan Ross show, that guys who claim to be always end up with men, which the group Four Poofs & A Piano nodded anf agreed with. One of my bi (female) friends is pretty open about fancying the singer out of Portishead, and has grumbled about hooking up with women when drunk and taking them home, and having them wonder at what they'd done the night before and putting it down to the booze, when they'd (she presumes) have been having thoughts about exploring that side of their nature in the first place anyway, making it not quite make sense to her that it'd be down to the alcohol, not entirely anyway
Post edited at 20:06
nufkin - on 28 Sep 2017
In reply to Timmd:

> Some people don't believe in bisexuality. I can remember Cilla Black once said it didn't exist when on the Jonathan Ross show, that guys who claim to be always end up with men, which the group Four Poofs & A Piano nodded and agreed with

That's somewhat been my experience too, but I don't think I'd use it as a basis to deny bisexuality entirely. I suppose, unless an individual always has both a male and female partner on the go at any one time, it's easy for other people to say either 'look, gay all along' or 'straight after all, just a phase', based on their current partnership. But that maybe doesn't always reflect what's going on in their head, or what might develop in the future
Timmd on 28 Sep 2017
In reply to nufkin:
I guess it could partly be people trying to live like they feel society is telling them to?

I find it a curious thought that none of this would matter if people could accept one another for however we are, one another's differences and personal journeys.
Post edited at 23:52
Big Ger - on 02 Oct 2017
In reply to Timmd:

Something Australia should learn from..

http://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-41460032

This was great

> The US rapper, Macklemore, issued a call for equality after an emotional performance of his hit single, Same Love, in a much-hyped pre-game show at the NRL grand final.

Shame the rugby was dreadful...
Timmd on 02 Oct 2017
In reply to Big Ger:
Yes indeed. My late Scottish grandma used to describe people as being 'Full of chewed breeeed' (chewed bread) in a way which was especially uncomplimentary. The sentiment pops into my head occasionally, when arguments against love (and sex - the horror) between people of the same gender are put forward.

There's nothing wrong with love...
Post edited at 00:37
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