UKC

How do you feel about running or hiking alone at night? On the heels of her own winter West Highland Way solo run, and an extensive survey of other runners, Keri Wallace explores our fear of the dark, looks at gender differences in learned fears, and suggests some ways to feel safer when we're out at night.

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For those males amongst us who haven't clicked on the linked article here's the timely reminder what we can do:

​​​​​What can men do to help?

Here are a few ideas for concrete action, from basic etiquette on the streets and trails, to helping nurture more positive attitudes in those around us:

1. If you have children or work with young people, have conversations with them about the issues that are in the media. Talking to young people about equality, diversity and respect for each other from a young age is vital if attitudes and behaviours towards women are to change.

2. Call out unacceptable behaviour. Don't be a silent bystander if you witness a friend or colleague cat-calling or honking their car horn at women; this type of thing can be really intimidating, call it out.

3. If you encounter a lone female give her a friendly hello or smile, take your hood down if you are wearing one, step aside and allow plenty of room on the path so you can easily get around each other.

4. Try not to startle people by appearing suddenly from behind. I always try to alert people when I am a few metres away just to make whoever is in front aware that I'm about to overtake them, so I don't give them a fright. If you're a man out running, imagine how it'd feel to a lone woman to have you suddenly run up behind her, panting and sweating. A cheery hello from a distance might help.

5. Please don't make comments about what we are wearing to exercise in, it really isn't anything to do with you no matter how harmless it might seem to you.

6. If you see a woman alone in the hills, don't try to stop her and give her your assistance unless she has asked for it. Would you do the same thing if you saw a man out on his own?

7. If you are part of a large group of walkers or bikers, please think about how intimidating that can feel to a woman out on her own. Step to the side so that she doesn't feel blocked in by having to run or walk through the middle of you all.

8. Be an ally. If a female friend tells you she feels threatened by something or someone, try not to shrug it off as nothing. If something is happening which makes her feel this way then see what you can do to help.

I always give a shout of 'coming past'. People often jump out of the way, thinking it could be a bike and are pleasantly surprised to find its a fat bloke running slowly.

At what point is friendly considered assistance (rhetorical pondering). I was doing a recce for a long race, and saw a few solo runners out and about in the middle of nowhere. I asked 'what route are you doing', and it turns out we were all doing the same race. I'd rather exchange a few pleasantries with people than blank them. I suppose it's like beta at the crag. One persons enthusiasm, could be another’s over familiarity.

OP:

Personally, like some of the respondents, I'm more worried in the inner city. On the hill at night, especially during ultras when I'm knackered, I see lots of spooky things which turn out to be just figments of my imagination. I'm also worried about injury, so will have at minimum FRA kit and phone.

There is something wonderful about being the only person on the hill at night. (Less wonderful if you're lost, but you'll have a good story to tell.) Statistically, an axe murderer will have a better, erm, hit rate, in a busy town, rather than standing by a trail in the arse end of nowhere.

thanks for posting these and calling out the linked article. (well worth a reread, and i remember the comment thread all too well. -.-)

several of these points touch on a more generic point that i really had to sit with for a while, as a guy:

step one, you’re not one of the people doing bad things to women. that’s good.

step two, but you know that fact isn’t written on your forehead, so you’re not getting bent out of shape when a woman treats you with the appropriate apprehension initially. it is a sad state of affairs, but nothing we can do abou—

step three, how many of the behaviours you exhibit, without ever having thought about them, are, from a woman’s perspective, indistinguishable from someone who is trying to get into their space (physical, conversational, mental, whatever), for nefarious purposes? and therefore, creating an everyday situation for women in which the behaviour of these people is rather effectively camouflaged, and you’re contributing to that camouflage? well, [expletive].

I can only assume all the down arrows for 'what men can do for help' are from males...Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong of course.

It would be interesting for these men to come out behind their arrows and express themselves in words on here so we can have an open discussion and maybe a chance to educate further as to why we (as men) need to alter our behavior to be part of the solution. 

It's always dangerous to assume that dislikes are simple opposition to the point you were trying to make. I gave you a like, for the record, because I thought it was a well-intentioned and supportive post. But I did ponder the value of just reposting verbatim a large chunk of the article. Would anyone who either disagreed with it, or couldn't be bothered to read it in the first place, really be reached by having it reposted? I came down on the side of "perhaps one or two men might not have bothered reading the full article, but would see someone reposting a specific section and think that was short enough to bother with", which was partly why I gave it a like. But I could see other people concluding the opposite. Or just thinking that it would be really irritating in general if people started posting large chunks of articles that they particularly liked in the comment threads of those very articles.

And hey, at least all of the words we're both wasting on guessing the mindset of people who pressed a fairly vague button are keeping the original article visible. Though I think UKC people have said in the past that article views from the forum are vastly dwarfed by people accessing them directly from the front page anyway.

I didn't read the article as I'm comfortable running in the dark, but I did read the comments and got some useful reminders on how to be an ally.

I think if anyone expresses a negative opinion about posts with useful reminders of how to be an ally, it's reasonable to assume that they are feeling critical of the suggestion that we should make that small effort to make our world more equitable.

You should read it! I only read it after my interest was piqued by the comments and it was far better and more interesting than I expected with its actual statistics and scientific basis in evolutionary psychology, especially with regard to gender difference (I really love being alone in the mountains in the dark unless there is a rational reason to fear animals!).

Also I am truly astonished to learn from Luke90 that far more people access articles on here from the front page than from the forums - I'm not even sure I knew there was a front page (seems obvious now though)!

As you have alluded to the value of reposting that list should be obvious especially as it's the section of the linked article that Keri specifically mentioned in her last sentence 'How can men help make women feel safer? This article contains some great advice from Ruth Keely:'

Another clink/link can be a barrier and with such an important issue a repost under the current article seemed worthwhile. 

Now you've made me waste even more words!
 

Excellent article , plus the linked one. A timely reminder of things us males don’t really think about that much, that females do all the time. Plus how we might help.