UKC

An earlier post ‘The General Rubbish State of Plastic’ comparing the Sheffield climbing walls got me thinking about what I like and dislike about indoor walls. Living in London means access to at least 10 climbing walls of varying size and character. Over time I’ve climbed at about 6 of them, normally opting for those closer to work or home.

I’d agree with TheClimbingWallCrictic about the spread of of competition style route setting but probably get more annoyed by the parkour style routes. Then again, I am a grumpy old git who who enjoys trad climbing.  As such, I’m relatively weak, which means I judge low grade problems/routes harshly. To the point that I think if setters can’t set interesting easier routes that still make one think, they’re kinda useless! Conversely, I’m thrilled when I find engaging easy problems, a sign of a talented route setter. And another thing is grade progression. I’m not too fussed about what grading system is used but I do get annoyed when theres a perceived massive difference between grade bands.

I understand walls are going to have peak periods that will be really busy, I live in London and climbing’s increased popularity is noticeable. But what I find annoying is where wall owner/managers/designers have not taken this into consideration and at least  thought about customer flow vs climbing areas.

Lastly, I appreciate circuit boards with gradual increases in grades, reset occasionally, and of course, the true test of all walls is how good the coffee is.

So, what are the most important things that you look for or would like to see at your local climbing wall and what are the things you really don’t like? 

Things I think are important at the wall; Frequent change of routes, a good spread of grades, routes that make me think, reasonable attempts to manage the temperature, somehwhere to leave my stuff, and, perhaps most importantly, good company. 

If they have one of my LED systems in them...………………………

Yes its too easy for indoor climbing to become a thugfest. I appreciate more technical problems and yet however the route-setters try the result can never approach the interest and variety at the crag. For the most part I count indoor as standby training - along with sociable contact - just to make better of the opportunities when you get out.

A good range of grades on different wall types, vertical, slab, overhung, bulged walls etc with a mix of low to high grades on each. Route changing but not too often, maybe once a 1/4 or every 2 months. Notice in advance when a route would be changing. At my peak I could lead 6b+ but by god did I have to work at it. It is bloody annoying when you have been working a route for a while then some bugger changes it just before you finish it. 

Decent hand driers in the toilets.

Elitist staff who won't make eye contact with you unless you onsight 7b and can go 1-5-9 / do 7 sec repeaters on the proper moon board slopers.

A sign explaining that chalk bags containing loose chalk will be hoovered. Curiously, that's the only thing that's actually been hoovered in the last decade.

One of the staff is convinced they're a super cool DJ type and have their own 'sick' playlist.

A kids party running around basically unsupervised in the bouldering area whilst you're trying not to deck on to one of the little munchkins.

A furious local in a vest who always complains about the conditions outside and is therefore at the wall but seems to never actually make it outside.

All the problems involve either a Dyno or a tag explaining that it starts with a hand stand. 

An overpriced cafe selling a range of 'vegan' cakes, protein bars and average coffee.

Yummy Mummy's making assorted snide comments, posing in their pristine Rab downies and comparing the training regime / educational achievements of their future Olympian.

I'm going outside.

Move to the East Midlands. The Climbing Station, The Unit, Nottingham Depot all have excellent setting at the lower bouldering grades.

It's simple really

Most important - good setting

Things I really don't like - bad setting

likes - yummy mummies

dislikes - beanie wearers

Agreed. Good setting is by far the most important variable. So there should be: interesting problems at all grades; awareness that personal height shouldn't be the key factor in difficulty; not too many parkour-style problems/dynos/lie-down-starts/hand-stand starts (at least, not in the lower grades!); stamina circuits that actually test stamina rather than possessing bouldery cruxes; bouldering kept relevant to outdoor climbing. The Depot in Pudsey exemplifies all these good practices.  

How do you feel about beanie wearing yummy mummies? 

A few weeks ago I was sitting on the edge of the mats at Ratho when the yummy mummy of one of the future Olympians came up to me and said (with a lovely smile) "excuse me, but I think you're sitting on my son's Latin homework". 

Dude...I’ve told you before, it’s not bouldering at those grades!

phew, that’s better. It’s tough behaving well on my alternative positive wall thread

I guess bouldering should definitely be technical, otherwise you discover whether you can do or not in about 3 goes. 

But I abhor "technical" indoor routes that involve squirming up corners and crap like that. Life's too short. Indoor climbing is training for me, and that means pulling on holds. I'd like some of them to be sideways or upside down, with maybe the odd foothold in a slightly inconvenient place, but beyond that I just want it to be overhanging and flowy with no stopper moves. I'm easy to please in that regard.

Did you quip 'quid fecit facere in gritstone' ?

I agree.

I think.

No

Feaking

Way

not spotted any at the local walls but in the interests of equality i will not discriminate against them

I prefer mine without a roof or entrance fee!

Yeah not a fan of entrance fees either but i do like a good set of over hangs

So, Fairlop Boulders then?

No I like the esoterica offered by  Hollywood Park

You wrote "An overpriced cafe selling a range of 'vegan' cakes, protein bars and average coffee."

Thinking of Westway maybe