In reply to Greasy Prusiks:
I'm no sociologist, but I've developed my own kind of stratification of climbing types:
The Newbie: Someone who professes that they love climbing, until you take them up a multipitch, as which point they become like a cat stuck up a tree. After you finally coax them down, reassuring them that "it was a bit exposed", they never contact you again.
The Annoyance: Someone who expresses a passing interest in climbing, follows you up anything you can throw at them with nonchalant ease, then moves on to continue their happy, fulfilling, successful life elsewhere. If you let them lead, they'll probably send an extreme whilst asking you, calmly: "so, what do you do with these nut things again?"
The Bumbler: Climbs VDiff perennially; occasionally sweats and shakes their way up a Severe. Is happy with that and has a great time.
The Overly Keen: Climbs VDiff whenever they get the opportunity; feels obliged to regularly sweat and shake their way up a Severe. Despite this, professes a desire to "get comfortable at VS" whilst training hard with the other gym regulars where they climb french 6c.
The Clubber: Aged between 34 and 80, they've been climbing VS - E2 for years, with a level of competence that makes climbing look a little dull...
The Dark Horse: Probably has kids or prefers fell running, and rarely gets out for a climb, but nevertheless climbs E1 - E4 with a complete lack of concern, although they remain nostalgic for climbing days past...
The Wad: turns up at the crag, warms up on E1, then goes on to spray sandbagged pseudo-beta at everyone, abseils off every climb, climbs through other parties, never sending a route from top to bottom but cherry-picking the best pitches, whilst talking loudly about "this great E5 I did right up the face here..." Annoyingly, they're actually quite good.
The Pseudo-Wad: turns up to the crag, warms up on an HS, then, after struggling, swearing "that's never HS" and getting the ropes tangled on the abseil descent, goes around spraying pseudo-beta at everyone, before complaining loudly about greasy conditions and making for the pub.
I've not encountered anyone above Wad level - but I imagine they ride to crags on the back of a unicorn.
Post edited at 16:58