/ Title of your climbing memoir.
"Overcoming Nothing" - A story of breaking into E0
"When 4c is just not that hard , and 4b is approaching a rest"
"Which cupboard are they in?"
A tale of looking for my dusty, moth eaten rock boots.
One man's quest to get out of bed early enough on a Sunday to get a space in the Stanage car park.
"The Epic Adventures of a Bumblie"
I chose to - drink beer, mainly.
“Touching cloth”, travels in high places for a military man.
It would have been 'Downward Bound' if Warren Harding hadn't nicked it already...
"A high price to pay".
The day I managed to get into the carpark at Pen-Y-pass to climb Snowdon.
"Touching the 'roid"
You beat me to that by one minute
"The Lard Years"
Preposterous Bails - stories of failing to get up routes around the world.
"Rock Aesthete" (the legend of a climbing story) - by one who appreciates the pure beauty of contemplating hard climbs he'll never do.
A brief history of trying.
"Into thin Hair"
This narrative of the 1996 first attempt to climb Everest by a group of trainee hair stylists ended in disaster.
'A superbly written first-person tale of loss.' The times.
"Invisible on Everest: I was somewhere else."
"Have a rest the Hard Way"
I'm working on a sequel to the "The Lard Years"
How flasks of overly concentrated hot blackcurrant drink over too many years, have wrought havoc on my teeth.
The Molehill of my Fear
"Learning to Breathe" - how I learnt to control my anger whilst browsing UKC
The joy of hex
A frank tale of Scottish winter.
"Bunk off the Gym"
How to make the break through into climbing Hard Severe
Cantleavethefloor I'm useless.
Savage Aroma - an account of high altitude latrines in the big ranges.
Feeding the prat.
Memoirs of a Rock Punting Man
The Shite Spider
-impressions from a lax sphincter on the '38.
"Alone on the A14: One man's battle to escape Cambridge"
'Classic Frock on Very Cold Climbs'
Coming out on Ben Nevis...
My Ass, Your Face. An ode to failed bouldering attempts.
1001 Climbers’ Excuses, The Essential Bailers’ Guide
Conquistador of the Uterus. The memoir of a climbing playboy.
The bod delusion. In which a mid life crisis manifests itself in taking up bouldering, tops off (for power)
'Could have done better'
"Dumb and dumber"
'The Everest years', climbing memories of a double-glazing salesman.
Kiss or kill: confessions of a serial let down.
My Climbing Memoir.
The Joy of Crux.
"The peaks grit- the epic tale of my university climbing clubs trip to birchens edge"
"Mountains of my Wife" - A tale of pizza, sugary drinks and type 2 diabetes.
Space below my feet ... A sad and unfulfilled life working in a half empty office block.
'Dope boy' - yet another epic, off-route experience
"Journey before the Lawn"
Got to get to B&Q for that moss killer
My private BBW interest
The baaad years ... The period spent sheepshagging
"Wot Me - Scared?"
"Fear and Self Loathing About halfway up a Hard Severe"
"My Years Resisting the Bosch Invasion"
The impecunious mountaineer.
Old. Fat. Scared. A life in well protected bimbles
"Alone at the wall : a memoir of EICA Autobelay routes 2010 - 2018."
The Last Poo Mountain - Great pre-route dumps.
The Hate Years - Great UKC Brexit threads.
The Playboy of Europe - In my dreams.
An Eastern Europeans 10 year quest to loose his shirt and break into the bouldering community.
20 shades of grit
"Shambles Amongst The Alps in the Years 1966 to 2018", by A Whimper
One Thousand Days as a Sheep
"Toils et Tempers"
A story of arduous flogs to alpine huts
> "Alone at the wall : a memoir of EICA Autobelay routes 2010 - 2018."
The Lard Years? Mitch
Dumb Poodle - tales of climbing with a tart of a crag dog
Numb and Number - Scottish winter climbing
"Pull of myself".
Tales of choosing to knock one out, rather than going climbing.
> That is actually quite poignant
The cover art is good too. The hero boldly standing on a big blue volume a full 15m up a double height 6c: back to the wall and gazing out over the arena.
9 out of 10 climbers - did better than me
> The cover art is good too. The hero boldly standing on a big blue volume a full 15m up a double height 6c: back to the wall and gazing out over the arena.
Yes, a lone sad figure while all around are having fun and banter. But I think the title needs changing - I don't think there were any autobelays in 2010.
The Top-Ropers Tale
"A Crawl Down the Offie"
> The Lard Years? Mitch
Expect a letter from my lawyers ;-)
Climb Britain - Making It Happen
On Edge on the Crux
"Punk on the gin"
"Touching the haemorrhoid"
A Chance on a Pillion - Biking to the Alps with a Girl-friend
Welsh Ruck - Trevor Jones definitive book on Welsh Rugby
One Day as a Pussycat - The Life of a Top-rope Climber
"Feeding the Cat"
A climbers life on the sofa.
'Let's Go Faffing!' a charmless tale of naive enthusiasm and indecision.
The Crowds on both sides.
Bank holiday puntering at Popular end.
Just remembered one from Sophie G of this parish: "Crookrise to Grindleford"
The Endless Knot - memoirs of my worst rope management f*** ups.
Dogging in the UK
Could be marketed to multiple audiences, though one specific audience would not be happy with the content.
Touching the bar
One man's story of taking hours to get down from Idwal slabs and the desperate struggle to make last orders.
If you were an Irish hillwalker I guess Wind in the Wicklows would do OK.
"I Chose Not To Climb"
The memoirs of a climber for whom discretion was the better part of valour.
The Descent of Rhum with a Poodle
Into Wet Air
Speaking of hangers and cheesy films....
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